Desperate times call for desperate measure – if you’re a woman who has attempted to get your ex back, then you most likely have resorted to this approach. You were compelled to do all sort of unfortunate things like drunk dialing, walk of shame and so forth. These behaviors looked flattering but rendered you to be his doormat, which eventually pushed his way. It's excruciatingly painful for many women as they’re in still in love with their exes even after the relationship has ended. Most women feel insecure and embarrassed about it and all the things they did to get their exes back. Here are six steps you can get him back without looking desperate or needy.
1. Don’t disapprove with why the relationship ended. Don’t disagree with him, if he talks about the reasons why the relationship didn’t work out. Instead, find the truth, accept it and later apologize for it. Being loved and happy is more important than being right.
2. Don’t convince your boyfriend or husband of all the reason why he should return to you. Trying to convince him to a part of your life will be a turn-off. It reiterates that notion that he’s better off without you as he views you as needy and desperate. Desperation and neediness are very unattractive traits to have in a relationship.
3. Be responsible for the breakup. Acknowledge that you also played a role at the end of the relationship. Instead of blaming him for everything, and look deeply what happened and determined how you contributed to the demise of your relationship. For example, if you have trust issues, and always questioned if your partner is faithful to you, then this may be one of the reasons, your partner decided not to be with you anymore. Therefore, try working on your trust issue before you ask back to be with you.
4. Make him come to you on his own. If a man actually wants what he wants, he will work on it and places a higher value on it. If you miss him, then don’t call him. Let him miss you and wonder what you’ve been doing. If he really misses you, he will contact you, perhaps want to be physical with you (decline it nicely), etc. Make sure if he does call you, respond accordingly. Keep sex out of the table, until you resolve all the issues.
5. Put yourself first and do what’s right and best for you. When your boyfriend or husband returns, don’t start the relationship again, where it ended. Instead, allow him to resolve all the problems that ended the relationship. This gives him an incentive to want you back. Get back together and work on these issues. However, don’t ever coerce him to think that it was you who was responsible for the end of the relationship.
6. Have a positive vision. Be clear about what exactly how you want to see your relationship to be this time. If you like your vision, behave and act in a way that will make you feel happy about yourself. Let things happen at its pace, relax, and stay positive about the outcome. Trust that things will work out for the best. And if he doesn’t come back, then don’t frown, there is someone else better for you.
Remember, you’re better off without him if he was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive towards you. In that case, you will be okay without him. However, if you follow these steps, approach him accordingly, and if he comes back, it will be immensely rewarding. You’ll again have a second chance for loving and fulfilling relationship.