Dating can be an intimidating experience for some people. And for men and women who are anxious, it’s even worse. Anxious people have difficulty in coping with uncertainty. And what’s more uncertain than dating. You’re getting to know each other, and you can know if there’s a connection or not. You’re nervous if he or she will call you for a second date or whether he or she likes you or not.
Because of your anxiety, you shut yourself from going on dates or meeting new people, shelving your plans to be in a relationship, get married, have a family and so on. Your anxiety compels you to criticize yourself and question your ability to face your fears and insecurities. Sometimes you get so overwhelmed with your anxiety that you forget to focus on your feelings, which can affect your chances to connect with a person emotionally, even if you’ve been on a few dates.
Another difficulty anxious men and women face is that there is too much pressure on dates. There is an unwritten rule to be funny, engaging enough to keep the conversation going, asking a question about each other, etc. All these prevent anxious folks to be themselves on dates. Instead, it would have been much better if both parties ask questions about each other. It will relieve some pressure from him or her, and they can pay more attention to getting to know their dates, their interests, their queries, and so on.
Another thing anxious dater get stressed about is the outcome of the date. Has something gone wrong? Let’s get this right. What will be the worst possible outcome of this date? Maybe they didn’t enjoy the date or simply not interested in you. Maybe he or she will judge you harshly or reject you. Now ask yourself, it this happens to you, will everything around you keep crashing on you? Is this the end of your life? Of course not. Just because a guy or a girl wasn’t attracted to you, and didn’t find any chemistry with you, doesn’t mean that you should stop dating. When a date doesn’t click, it doesn’t click, simple. There is simply nothing wrong with you and your date.
Now, let’s talk about something fun. Imagine you had a great date. You enjoyed your time, learned all lot about yourself you never knew off, and share some common interests, hobbies and life goals with your date. You have got more confident. You became more self-conscious about your abilities. Who knows, you started to think this person is right for you to be in a committed, long-lasting relationship.
After all, dating in all its glory is filled with uncertainty. There is no way of telling anyone that love is waiting for them and someday they will be in relationships. If you’re looking for a woman or man to love, but keep thinking that your anxiety is holding you back, then confront it. Remember, with practice comes perfection. You’ll get over your anxiety if you keep on dating and sooner or later you’ll become better at it. And the chances of you falling in love will be better.