All posts by Dating Guru

Why Asking ‘Does She Like Me?’ Won’t Help You To Find Love

So, you met a beautiful woman, and you keep telling yourself that you’re in love with her. But, there’s another question you keep wondering, “Does she like me?” At this point, however, women are on a different stage completely, but here are two things men must understand:

1) If she texts you, calls you, talks to you, and accepts to go out with you – this means that she likes you.
2) Okay, she likes you, but she’s not entirely sure whether you like her. This is good for you. It’s a chance for you to take her on a first date, impress her and get to know her better. And she also wants you to it, as she wants to assure her that you like her.

You see men know very well that women are in the driver's seat when it comes to dating and relationships. Men get encouraged when women tell them to take the lead, and they step back when she lets him know her boundaries. Surprisingly, most ladies don’t believe it. However, over time, they begin to understand that this statement makes them feel empowered.

So, let’s get back to my first question, “Does she like me?” To make things easier to explain, let’s rephrase this question to “Do I like her?” To be honest, this is the question you need to ask yourself. Remember, your girl already knows she likes you or she wouldn't be in front of you in the first place.

So, how can you tell if you like her? Start by asking yourself:

    1. 1) What characteristics do I like in women?

 

    1. 2) What characteristics must she have?

 

    1. 3) What do I need and want from a committed relationship with a woman?

 

    4) What characteristics are red flags or deal breakers?

Finding answers to these questions will help to be clear about what's important to you, what invokes the passion within you, and what turns you on and off, for that matter. It’s a fact that most guys who were looking for a relationship or already in one, honestly haven't thought about it who they are mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, and what they can offer in a committed relationship. They also don’t exactly what they want and need in a woman. So, why is that? Why is that we can clarify what we really need and would like to see in a romantic relationship? The answer is simple actually – women will only fall in love with a man when she realizes that we’re fully authentic about ourselves.

Meanwhile, men fall in love with women when:

    1. 1) They know who we are.

 

    1. 2) They feel confident about themselves.

 

    1. 3) They feel comfortable being authentic to themselves all the time.

 

    4) And, yes, they feel this way especially when they’re with boyfriends.

After all, when looking for love, no one will love you more than the way you love yourselves. So, how can you love yourself more? It’s easy. Start off by people you’re already nice to. Be friendly, kind, and spend more time your friends, family, coworkers, volunteers, church members, etc. We’re much better to other people than we are to ourselves. Do the same things you do to them to yourself. Respecting and loving yourself will generate the same amount of respect and love for the people around you.


Surprise Your Girlfriend At Work Using These Tips

Finding a girl that’s right for you is already difficult, doing something to keep her stay with you forever is even more challenging. We know that you love your girlfriend a lot, but trying something new to surprise her, will make her feel special and keep the romance in romantic your relationship burning. And that’s what all girls really like to feel – special. But, most guys think that all girls expect big gifts from their boyfriends, but that’s untrue. Instead, in most situations, little acts of kindness and true love or a few surprises will make feel happy and truly amazed.

So, what can you do to surprise your girlfriend and make her feel surprised while at work on the weekdays? Below are five ways on how to surprise your girlfriend:

1. Get Her Something Little
All girls expect love gifts from their boyfriends, but those don’t have to be fancy or expensive all the time. Your girlfriend will like your present anyways if she realizes that you put all your thought and feelings into it, instead of getting her something expensive to impress her. Sometimes little gifts like a rose, a box of chocolates, or some homemade cookies will surprise her. Don’t worry about any particular occasion or day, you can get your partner anything and whenever you feel like to surprise her and express your love. Another important tip to remember, personalized gifts are more highly appreciated such as giving her favorite singer’s latest album, her favorite writer’s latest book, etc.

2. Write Her A Handwritten Love Letter
This might sound old-fashioned, but sending your girlfriend a handwritten love letter is always a nice way to surprise your girlfriend. Sure, you call her, send her texts and emails each day, but these don’t have the sentimental value which hand-written love letters have, even though sometimes love letters aren’t as convenient like calling or messaging. Your girlfriend will be surprised and will appreciate these loving, thoughtful letters and will cherish them forever.

3. Help Her With The Chores
Even to this day, some men think that chores are the responsibility of women. If you’re living with your girlfriend, she’ll happy and appreciate you if you help her with the chores that need to be done every day like cooking, washing dishes, shopping for groceries, vacuuming, etc. So, surprise her sometimes by washing the dishes, or doing the laundry before she gets home from work. If your girlfriend is the one who goes to the supermarket every weekend for groceries, tell her to relax at home, and do the shopping yourself. Believe me, her love for you will go up by many notches!

4. Cook For Her Sometimes
It is a well-known fact that a man who can cook are said to be incredibly hot and sexy. So, if you want to surprise your girlfriend and to be crazy for you, consider learning some culinary skills. She’ll appreciate you if you can cook her the food or the dishes that she likes or only prepare the meals that you cook the best. And, if you feel super confident in your cooking skills, then make her a gourmet meal and her friends.

5. Plan A Surprise Trip
If you’re in a relationship, you probably know that every girl likes the idea to go a trip with her boyfriend and doing something fun, exciting or romantic. So, rather than just asking her to take her wherever she likes, she’ll be more than impressed if you made an effort to prepare and plan a proper outing and to experience something different which she never expected.


Do Happy Marriages Exist? Yes, And It’s Totally Possible!

Do happy marriages exist? Yes, they do. There are many unhappy singles and couples around us all longing for the “happily ever after” after being in a relationship. Amongst them, the ones who are in the most pain are unsure whether they want to stay or leave the relationship. For most people, the possibility of experiencing a genuinely, happy relationship or marriage appears like a distant and impossible thing to achieve. But a happy marriage isn’t a mythical or magical experience, nor is it impossible to attain. A happy, long-lasting relationship or marriage is the outcome of many acts of two people who truly love and care about one another.

There will be a time in your relationship that despite your best efforts and how much you appreciate each other in the relationship; from time-to-time, you’re going have fights and arguments with each other, hurt each other, scare, disappoint, or sudden, the other partner. The primary difference between reality and myth is that you can’t have a happy marriage out of thin air. In reality, you can nurture a happy relationship or marriage by mastering a few passionate communication skills including forgiveness and sympathy and add them often to your significant other. Nonetheless, the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy one is that in the former, both partners cares and loves each other.

Below are tips on how you can be in a happy marriage:

1. Compassion
Most people when they talk about compassion, they think about codependency. But, it’s not. In fact, it’s a healthy perspective on your own wants and needs as well as your spouses. It’s the understanding of the following the next four steps to get what you surely want and requires practicing the miracle of empathy.

2. Acceptance
Acceptance refers to your capability to love and care someone for who they are. You need to openly acknowledge all the idiosyncrasies that make him or her unique. It’s all about not forcing your partner to be the person you need them to be. Also, it’s also accepting the divinity and humanity of each other.

3. Respect
Respect refers to your capability to only acknowledge only the good traits of your spouse and appreciate those. No one is perfect; we all have imperfections, and all of us have our unique individual selves. We don’t fall in love with the perfect person, but true love can only happen if we learn how to see an imperfect person perfectly.

4. Empathy
Empathy refers to your capability to listen, understand, and genuinely care what your spouse feels, and they too do learn to do the same for you.

5. Self-love
Self-love refers to your capability to take excellent care of yourself, despite the fact that some of these circumstances aren’t favorable to you. You give the affection, appreciation, attention, care, and the acceptance that you need. Later, you share all of that love and affection with your partner. It’s true that unicorns don’t exist, but when it comes to relationships or marriages, you can have happy, committed and long-lasting ones, if you try.


Relationship Tips – Money Can Put Your Relationship At A Major Risk

Apparently, the more money you’ve, the more your problems are. Most couples are focused on their sex lives and can they handle or resolve arguments, but many of them hardly ever think there could be something else that can ruin their relationships. Yes, it’s money. So, if you want to keep your marriage or relationship on track, here is one-way money could be taking your relationship towards the rocks.

So, how can you money put your relationship at a significant risk? The simple answer is your credit score. This might come as a surprise to you because most people will agree that your credit score will always be popping up to ruin your day. It is true credit scores isn’t a romantic topic to discuss with your date over a candlelit dinner. Nonetheless, it’s an important subject that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

While talking about credit scores and relationships, you shouldn’t be confrontational, especially if you’ve suspicion that your boyfriend or girlfriend might have weaker credit than you. Instead, discuss the matter in a lighthearted way.

When talking about money this approach is highly preferred. Say something like my friend’s girlfriend is having a problem in paying her credit card bills. It scares me if someone isn’t able to pay their debts on time. So how do you think I can help her? See, this way you can start having the conversation with your partner without accusing anyone of anything. Talking about finances in this way will also help you to get a sense of your partner’s finances and spending habits, as well as feel complacent in sharing your experiences. Another important thing worth noting here is you shouldn’t move in or marry someone without knowing the current situation of both of their debts and spending habits.

So, what will happen if you or your partner has a bad credit score?

One major problem of having a poor credit rating is the difficulty of getting a mortgage. Even if you manage to secure one, the interest rate will be much higher than usual. This is by far one of the biggest impacts of bad credit. That’s not it; it goes even further. Landlords won’t hesitate in approving a lease. If your credit score is appalling, it’s highly possible that you may not even be able to rent a home or an apartment or even a car. Moreover, if your credit is bad, utility companies will demand that you put down a security deposit. A poor credit score will also put you in a disadvantageous position while applying for jobs and buying a car or any other vehicle.

So, what can you do to keep your credit score from deteriorating? It’s simple.

    1. 1. Always pay your bills (loans, mortgages, credit card balances, etc) on time and don’t miss any payments.

 

    1. 2. Be careful about how much you owe and spend.

 

    3. Discuss having a joint bank account with your spouse.

The bottom line is dating someone with poor credit isn’t that bad. You can put all of your debts in your name, but that’s a big risk to take. So, if you’re looking for a relationship, and notice that your credit score is below average, work on raising it.


You Can’t Fall in Love At First Sight, But Liking, At First Sight, Is Possible

Since time memorable, we have heard about love at first sight. Some of us hope that this happens to us. We expect that our immediate attraction to the person we fell in love with first sight turns into lifelong commitments such as a marriage. Unfortunately, experiencing love isn’t a short-term process, it’s for the long-term. That’s why it can’t be felt immediately. But, when it comes to Like, that’s whole new story. Liking, at first sight, is real. So, the question remains what is the difference between love and Liking is?

Signs Of Liking

    1. 1. You're entirely focused on a person's looks and body

 

    1. 2. You’re only interested in having sex

 

    1. 3. You aren’t interested in having conversations

 

    1. 4. You don’t like to take your relationship on a real level and discuss real feelings

 

    1. 5. You don’t like to cuddle or stay for breakfast the next morning after sex

Signs Of Love
1. Other than sex, you want to spend quality time together
2. Sometimes you lose track of time while talking with each other
3. He/she motivates and inspires you to be a better person
4. You’re looking forward to meeting his or her family and friends
5. You like to listen to each other’s feelings and honest about it
6. You both make each other happy

It’s worth mentioning that emotions and attachment are included in Liking. Liking is propelled by our neurochemicals in our brains. It’s for these neurochemicals that make us crave what we want, idealize and have obsessive thoughts about each other. Unfortunately, this isn’t your heart talking; it's the brain chemicals that have programmed you to attract, mate, and procreate. It is one of the amazing feelings you can have, but it’s also responsible for most unhappy, unplanned marriages, divorces, and affairs. But, you need your heart if you want to experience true love.

You see Liking makes us focus on the fantasy and less on what our future holds with that person. There is a high possibility if you’re Liking him or her, and if an unfortunate trait of our lovers comes up, we won't pair up with them. When you’re in a real relationship with real love, you won’t see this. So, when do you know it is true love? Developing true love takes time. Most relationship therapists and counselors suggest couples not to get married until two years of dating because you need two years for your Liking to subside.

So, what happens after two years? After dating someone for two years, your love will look like this:

1. You’re still sexually attracted to your partner and still enjoy having sex with him or her.
2. You’ve completely accepted the fact you can’t change your partner.
3. You’ve fully accepted him for who he or she is as a person.
4. You can tolerate their bad traits or behaviors because they aren’t addicted, abusive, manipulative or unhealthy.
5. You’re still interested in sharing your life with your partner.
6. You can work through and resolve arguments and disagreements.
7. You feel respected and encouraged.
8. You feel empowered, comfortable and still; enjoy spending time with each other.

While looking for love, remember that love is a feeling that takes some time to develop. It’s accepting, respectful and is long lasting, accepting and respectful. Meanwhile, Liking brings instantaneous attraction, desire, cravings and incredible feeling. Therefore, you can experience Liking at first sight, and not love.


Are You In Love? This Is What “I Love You” Means To Him or Her

When it comes to dating and relationships, these three words, “I love you,” holds a lot of significance, but it’s also a phrase that’s being thrown out a lot. Most couples tell that merely because they’re in a relationship, their partners should just know that their girlfriends or boyfriends love them. But unfortunately, it’s not that simple. This might sound a little surprising that we need to show our significant others – verbally and non-verbally – that we love them. It doesn't matter how long you both have been in a relationship, you both have to show one another that you love them.

When we are in committed relationship, we can all get susceptible in misinterpreting our partner’s actions, giving it a story or context, and responding accordingly. This is particularly evident when arguments can apparently originate from something silly or insignificant. If it happens, then there may be something deeper in question.

So, how can you show your partner that you love them? Do I matter to you? Do you really love me? Let’s talk about an example to put this into context. Say, Mary cooks dinner for John every night. John says that he really appreciates Mary cooks him dinner every night. It feels nice but doesn’t make me feel loved, desired or valued. Meanwhile, Mary tells she feel loved when her partner says what he appreciates about me, and when he admires my qualities. Mary also says that when he does that her heart filled with love and she can feel it. Many couples often complain that they do so much for each other, but it’s never good enough! To them, I would like to say it’s possible that you’re giving all the love you can to your partner, but it’s not reaching them the place it needs for them to feel it.

Keep in mind that we often give what we want to get. For instance, maybe you love receiving gifts from your spouse, so it’s okay; you come home with perfumes, chocolates, flowers, etc. for him or her. Sure, they’ll be much appreciated, but it doesn’t necessarily mean “I love you” to everyone. The reason is simple as it might not be their “love language.”

Here are five proven ways that a person feels loved:

1. Acts Of Service
Making the bed, cooking, helping around the house with chores, picking up dry cleaning, and other things that make her life easier.

2. Physical Touch
This includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc.

3. Spending Quality Time
Spending quality time may hold a different meaning for different people. So, make sure to clear that up with your partner. In general sense, it means sitting together, alone, and talking with each other.

4. Gifts
Buying thoughtful gifts around birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, buying clothes, flowers, necklaces, etc. for your partner could be options.

5. Verbal
When you’re in a romantic relationship, telling your significant other what you appreciate and admire about them is imperative. Again, this too can mean different things to different folks. So, remember to clarify. Some people are appreciative if their partners complimented how they look, some like to hear what they do or appreciate about who they are inside, etc.


Did You Know Your Arguing Style Reveals A Lot About Your Relationship?

There is no relationship without any fighting or arguments. It’s a part of a romantic relationship. But, did it ever occur to you that the way you fight with your partner can reveal a lot about your relationship? Typically most couples develop a fighting style that remains consistent throughout the relationship, which also reveals who they are as individuals.

Here are five common arguing styles between couples:

1. Both of You Are Passive Aggressive
If there is an issue in the relationship and neither of you wants to resolve it, it indicates that you aren’t complacent in expressing your concerns to each other or one of you is fearful of what will happen if you do. None of the above scenarios are healthy. This should invoke you ask yourself why you aren't you capable of communicating effectively with each other. If you and your partner withhold important issues from one another, it shows that your relationship isn't open and honest.

2. Your Fights Are Volatile And Explosive In Nature
You apparently have a great, incredible sex life, and your relationship is full of excitement and passion. But, at times, that passion can transform into a rage, which makes your arguments emotionally exhausting. There is incredible love between you two, but your relationship unpredictable given the fact that you have no idea how one of you react if something unexpected happens. These types of fights often categorize mostly abusive relationships. They aren’t extreme, but they’re toxic, nonetheless.

3. One Of The Partners Doesn't Want To Hear It
You have a problem in your relationship if one partner wants to discuss an issue right away while the other refuses to hear it. These of couples usually chase each other to resolve problems and other persistent issues in their relationships. Things in this relationship can sometimes be one-sided as it’s easily noticeable that one partner makes all the decisions while the other person rarely or doesn't care enough to contribute.

4. You Hardly Ever Fight
There are also problems with happy couples too. When a couple agrees on everything, it’s not because they’re true soul mates. Couples who are in this kind of situation are most probably isn't fully expressing their needs or concerns even if they’re trivial in nature. It might be that things are going so good in the relationship that you don't feel to disrupt the harmony, even in the tiniest. However, it’s likely that this can have an adverse impact on the relationship in the future.

5. Your Fights Are Civil And Resolve Problems
You’re in a healthy, committed relationship and aren’t afraid to confront issues in the relationship when they arise. You and your partner are receptive to each other's opinions and feedback and are respectful to each other’s views even if you don’t agree to all of it. You have a harmonious, understanding relationship because you both bring the best of each other and only want what’s best. All of this point that you both are in a stable relationship. So, continue with this practice and always make sure that your thoughts are heard.


Want To Know The One Secret Happy Couples Do Every Day?

Despite the fact that almost half of all the marriages ending up in a divorce, we are surrounded by successful marriages and relationships. We are seeing couples celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries and couples living together in a foreign country for many years. So, if you’re in an unhappy relationship, you probably have been wondering what do all of these very different relationships have in common?

To get to the core of it, we asked many couples what they did to make their relationships work. All of them gave few different reasons, but there is one reason all couples seem to agree – they talk to their significant others. It means that they always share their feelings and talk to each other and listen attentively what their partners have to say.

So what do all satisfied and happy couples do every day? The answer is pretty simple. Happy couples communicate with each other. Constant communication is evident, but it can also get disrupted easily. If you want to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, here are three things that you need to do to communicate successfully.

Tip# 1: Express Your Needs and Feelings
There isn’t an absolute way for your spouse to find out what you want out of your relationship unless you explicitly tell that to him or her. Always make sure to express your thoughts and emotions, whether that be happy or sad as this will ensure that you and your partner are in the same chapter. Your partner is not a mind-reader, so it’s your duty to talk about how you’re feeling and what are your needs and wants. Besides, you might learn something new about one another.

Tip# 2: Be Honest
Honesty and trustworthiness are the hallmarks of any long-term, committed relationship. The moment you start lying in the relationship is the moment things go wrong. If you can’t be honest with the man or woman you love, who can you be honest with? Similarly, if you can’t fully trust the man or woman you love, who can you trust? Be open and go beyond the traditional dynamics of your relationship. Talk about your bad day in the office or rant about a friend or co-worker who hurt your feelings. The more experiences you share with each other, the closer and intimate you will become.

Tip# 3: Make Sure To Listen
You need two people in a romantic relationship. You can’t clap with one hand. Communication is a two-way street. When you communicate, your partner should be communicating with you too. So, be a good listener and also ensure that you pay attention to everything your significant other is saying. None of us are perfect. We all have flaws. So, if your partner tells you to make some adjustments to make the relationship better, be open to it. If you practice your communication skills every day, you’ll realize that your relationship is getting better and stronger. Sometimes, things can get a little difficult, but as always the best results often come from the greatest challenges.


Questions All Ladies Should Ask When Dating a Man

Thinking of asking some questions to your date? It is fine if you do it, but remember to come across as comfortable, sincere, and relaxed, but also an intelligent person who has all her shit together. You don’t want to approach your boyfriend in an intimidating and condescending way. When dating, most of us tend to only think or obsess about how our partners will perceive us. Dating is hard when you're serious about finding a person committed to a long-term relationship. But, the key to success here stop over thinking about who you are and what you do and focus on how you feel about him.

So, here are four questions ask yourself when dating a man for the first time:

Question #1: How Do I Feel When He’s With Me?
When dating your man do you feel respected and honored? Does he do all the talking? Does he make an effort to hear you out? Does he ask you interesting follow-up questions? Does the conversation flow freely? While talking with your date does it feel like you’re talking to a good friend? Do you think that he brings out the best parts of your personality? After a few dates, think if you see a better version of yourself around him. Now, date him for a few more weeks, think if you can trust yourself when he’s with you. Ask yourself if you’re doing things that you normally won’t do, but do it anyway because you want him to like you. These behaviors may become more apparent if you’re betraying your true self simply for the intention to impress your date.

Question #2: Do His Behaviors Reflect His Character?
This issue will give an insight about his trustworthiness. Does he do exactly what he says he is going to do? Is he dependable? Dependability and reliability are intricately related to each other. Being fun, daring and spontaneous is great sometimes, but if you’re seeking for a serious relationship, you need to date someone who is dependable and who can support you when you need him. Now, that we mentioned that, it's time you ask yourself these questions. Does he call or texts when he says he will? How does he act around strangers? How does he treat restaurant staff, janitors, or service people? Is he respectful and polite to them? These are important interactions to observe because if you want to be in a relationship with a man who is loving and caring you need a partner who cares about others besides himself; these are important interactions to observe.

Question #3: What About His Other Relationships?
Ask yourself if your boyfriend has close relationships with his family and friends? Is he able to engage in conversation with your family and friends? If he can’t do you think he’s introverted? Or is he just being rude? If he’s shy, then his introversion can be worked on as he becomes more familiar with your family and friends while interacting with them more often.

Question #4: How Does He Resolve Conflicts?
If you’re dating someone, there will conflict or disagreements in your relationship. When dating a man see how does he handle arguments or disagreements with you? What about other people? Does he gives you the silent treatment or just disappears? Does he withhold things until he explodes? Does he listens and acknowledges your perspective without blaming you? It’s important that you communicate about unmet needs or expectations with your partner if you want to build a strong foundation for your relationship.


Fun Things To Do With Your Girlfriend At Home

Sometimes, hanging out with your girlfriend on a regular basis can put a strain on your wallet, in case you and your girlfriend are trying to save up for your future together. At those times, you might think of doing more activities with your girlfriend at home. Doing absolutely nothing at home feels great, but if you keep on going for a long time, you’ll feel dull and meaningless.

There are a lot of fun and romantic things you can do with your girlfriend at home that will make your relationship better.

Develop A Home Workout Routine
This isn’t only a great idea; it’s also one of the top fun things you can do with your girlfriend at home. You can stay fit and get in shape without going to the gym by developing an exercise routine that you can do with your girlfriend at home. It doesn’t matter whether working out together watching a video or jogging around the house as long as the two of you enjoy doing it together. Besides, having someone who can push you to do work out, eat healthily and be active is an excellent motivator. Also, don’t forget to challenge each other while working out so you can have more fun.

Play Games Together
Another fun thing you can do with your girlfriend at home is by playing a game together. Some women love playing video games, so why not you play some of your video games with her. Challenge her to a match and keep on playing till you both get tired. Not only will she love you more for asking her to play with you, but she will also enjoy the time you spend together. Make sure not to be too competitive to avoid unnecessary arguments. Play as many types of games as possible, and if you don’t want to play games you played before, then make your own game you saw in your favorite movie or TV show.

Stay In The Bed
Sometimes, the best place and way to have fun with your girlfriend at home is by staying in your bed.

Turn off your phones, stock up on popcorn, chips and other snacks and enjoy watching your favorite romantic movies or binge watch your favorite TV series, and spend the whole day together without getting off the bed. This fun activity will not only make you feel relaxed for the day, but the two of you can enjoy this romantic moment together. Besides, spending the whole day together in bed and doing this regularly will also help you to get to know each other better.

Sing Karaoke and Watch Childhood Cartoons
Another fun thing you can do with your girlfriend at home and have fun is by watching cartoons together. It’s nice activity and will take you back to your childhood. So, stay at home, take a seat, and pick out some episodes you watched in your childhood, and enjoy watching them with your partner. Another fun thing you can sing your hearts out using a karaoke machine together if you’ve not got a karaoke machine at home.

If you’re in a relationship and want to have fun with your girlfriend at home, other fun things you can do is cooking together, taking photos by dressing fancy, do a language course, make a scrapbook together, redecorate your home, and so on and so forth.