All posts by Dating Guru

3 Signs to Look For If Your Date Will Cheat On You

Do you know, when someone cheats, there is always some visible signs at the beginning? But, how can you identify those signs? How can you be sure that the person you’ve been dating isn’t cheating on you? Well, there are no simple answers. If you have been dating someone for five or six months or even longer, it’s pretty safe to tell that you know that person good enough.

Judging by the personalities, you can have a sense that if you can trust his person or not. The Sad story is, most people still continue with their relationships even after they suspect them cheating on them.

So, to be sure, look out for these particular traits, trust your instincts, and end the relationship soon, and protect yourself from getting emotionally burned.

Your Partner has a history of Cheating

A simple way to find if your partner will cheat on you or not in this relationship is to see if he or she has cheated in the past in a previous relationship. You won't find this at the beginning, but the information will eventually come out. Some people have cheated in the past but regretted and won’t do it again, but some individuals will do it again if they have been unfaithful in the past. So, before you decide to take your relationship any further, both of you should have a serious conversation about it, if your new date of partner has a similar story.

Your Partner Flirts With Other People, Even In Front of You!

This is very common found in most couples, and millions of men and women do it. There is little harm if your partner checks out other attractive men and women outside, but if he or she flirts with people in front you, then we have a problem. This proves that this individual wants attention, and there is the high probability that this person will take their flirting to fully fledged sexual contact if you are absent in the scene. To have a monogamous long-term relationship, it’s a must that you ask your partner not to flirt with anyone in front of one another. If you partner found hard to honor that rule, it’s time that you terminate the relationship soon.

You Partner Is Unavailable For Hours or Unreachable By Phone

If you notice your new partner or date often disappears during the day or evening without any reason, and is unreachable for hours, it’s an indication that he or she might be cheating. There is no problem someone can’t be reached for an hour or two, as that person might be shopping or at the gym. But if an individual can’t be contacted for a few hours, particularly at night, it points that he or she is cheating. Have a conversation with your new date and frankly tell him or her that their sudden absence makes you insecure and anxious. However, keep in mind, even after the conversation this type of behaviors doesn’t stop, then it’s time to consider leaving this relationship.

It’s advised that if you think that your new date or partner is cheating, be sure that your suspicions are based on real facts, not paranoia. Most people don’t want to believe that their new partners are cheating, but if your intuition tells you, then probably there is something wrong. If you sense that a new person you’re dating is cheating on you, end the relationship soon before you go deeper.


Five Rules to Use Social Media after a Breakup

So, it’s just been a week you have broken up with your partner, and you can’t resist the urge to have a glimpse of your ex partner's Facebook page. It’s okay that you can’t restrain yourself; after all break ups are hard and make us angry, upset and humiliated. So, just checking out his or her Facebook won’t be harmful, right?

Well, it’s not that simple. According to a study, it’s been found that the more time one spends on his/her ex’s Facebook page after a breakup, the more emotional distress he or she will feel, and the desire to reconcile with their ex’s increases. It's not encouraging as it makes the whole process of healing even harder after a breakup. In fact, it's straightforward unhealthy and toxic to us psychologically as we always think, talk and look at the pictures of our ex-partners. This can morph into stalking, which is in some cases, harmful.

So, here are five rules to use social media after a break up:

1. Never stalk your ex online. Don’t check your ex’s Facebook page or Twitter feeds. The best to do is that to consider un-friending him or her, or unfollowing them. Otherwise, even if you don’t look at your ex’s page, you will still see their status updates. Also, un-friend all of your ex’s friends and family members. Also, don’t even try being friends with your ex’s new found boyfriend or girlfriend. Many newly single people fall for this, but this is a just recipe for disaster.

2. Avoid posting anything of your former partner online. This can be one of the main causes of trouble. If you want to have a conversation with a friend about your ex, that fine, just don’t use any social media sites.

3. Consider canceling or deactivating your Facebook or other social media accounts. If you think you can’t stay away, forget or can’t resist having a conversation or stop thinking about your ex, then remove yourself from all types of social media websites including Facebook. We know this is hard, but it’s ideal for your healing process after a breakup.

4. Use social media or online dating platforms to meet new people. If you haven’t deleted your social media accounts, then maybe it's time to put it to some good use. We suggest you try online dating sites to meet people and hopefully be in a new relationship. Don’t feel shy to tell people that you are single online. There is nothing disrespectful or unfair about it, even for your ex. You are fully entitled to move on and begin as new.

5. Ignore all types of posts online that is directed to you. It’s quite normal for your ex, their family and friends posting things that might be addressed towards you. Even if you are entirely sure about it, don’t make a big fuzz about and don’t respond to it. Forgive your ex-partner and don’t be angry with him or her. Taking the high road is always better and practicing it will make you happy.

So, that’s it, keep tabs on you ex won’t bring him or her back into your life. If you want to be happy and move on, unfriending your ex is the best option.


10 Signs to Know it’s Time for You to Break Up

No one likes to break up. These experiences are awful, full of pain, and bring tremendous physical, mental and emotional consequences of you, which can be hard to cope. That’s why dating is all about —to find out if two people have the qualities and characteristics that are compatible with each other. If not, there aren’t many options other than the couple to end the relationship. Sometimes, we can be right, and at times we are not, even after the relationship has all the signs of it having no future.

Here are ten indicators to look out and if you notice most of them, then it’s time to break up and move on:

1. You begin to feel that you don’t get that loving feeling if you see him or her like at the beginning. It appears that the fire and sparks have disappeared and the chemistry between you two isn’t just there.

2. Your closest friends and family members are telling you that something is wrong in this relationship. It’s wise to pay some concern into this as these folks only want the best for you. However, always trust your intuition when you decide to end the relationship.

3. Honesty, respect, and trust are holding a relationship together. If you think your partner isn’t entirely honest towards you or questioning his or her trustworthiness, then it’s better for you to break up.

4. You have realized that you and partner have different missions and goals and even you both are good people, they don’t complement each other. So, before you two get hurt, it’s best to move on.

5. You start to question your partner’s emotional health. You find your partner is narcissistic, very self-absorbed, get angry easily, paranoid and sometimes very defensive. All these indicate that your partner isn’t mentally capable of handling a relationship or be married. It’s time for you to break up.

6. Both of you have different perspectives on important aspects of life. You two significantly differ on the topic like religion, social issues, parenting, financial responsibility, and so on. If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s best to be with a partner whose views are closely related to your own.

7. You two have different interests and don’t complement each other. If you have four or five interests, it’s wise to have a relationship with a person who shares one or two of them. Enjoying the same hobbies and activities together will make your relationship stronger.

8. You find that your partner is very much attached to his past and unwilling to get over them and move on. You see that your partner is always talking about their exes, their past achievements or is held back by his old buddies. If that is the case, leave this relationship.

9. It’s natural if your partner is attracted to other men or women. But if you found that your partner is frequently checking out other people, even with you in front of him or her, then it might be that your partner lacks something in you.

10. You can’t resolve conflicts with your partner. You and partner are always arguing and fighting even over things with no importance. You don’t feel supported, and you are unable to communicate with him or her, and unable to solve problems in a mutually amicable manner. This is why most relationships fall apart because conflicts remain unsolved.

So, there you have the ten reasons that should indicate if you want to be in this relationship or not. If any or most of these signs resonate with you, then it’s in your best interest that you break up before it’s too late.


10 Ways to Deal with Your Partner Who Is Losing Interest in You

couple-1210023_960_720Two people come together for many reasons; it may be physical attraction, emotional connection, similar interests and so on. The closer and intimate you and your partner got together over the weeks and months, both of you came to know each other better, and there was a positive vibe everywhere. But, now you have found for some reason your significant other has started losing interest in you. The person whom you are in so much love with has been distancing himself/herself from the relationship or looking for something different. If you still figuring out on how to deal with this then start here:

1. Don’t be a mind reader. Refrain yourself from trying to figure out every little gesture or comment to find out your partner’s interest level in you. No matter how hard you try, you can never know what’s going on a person’s mind. Period.

2. Consider this as a temporary confusion phase. Emotions are unpredictable. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There is the chance your partner is losing interest because he or she confused about the relationship and is trying to evaluate his feelings and his future with you.

3. Reignite your relationship. Most couples complained they lost their interest in each other because the relationship has become dull and predictable. So, try to reinvigorate your relationship and try to find ways to make it exciting and bring new sparks in your romance like before.

4. Don’t overreact. If a partner feels he or she is being neglected, they feel vulnerable and insecure. This is when emotional outbursts are common making the situation even worse.

5. Don’t become extremely responsible. Don’t come to the conclusion that the reason your partner is losing interest is you. It’s has nothing to do with you. So, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” the situation.

6. Give Your Partner Some Space. Don’t get very consumed about the situation. Give your partner some space. I won’t be amazed if your partner has regained interest in you after some time.

7. Ask straight questions. Instead of understanding what’s going on, ask your partner direct questions if you think someone is losing interest. Make it clear you demand an honest answer.

8. Control how you respond. Be honorable in how you react. Don’t break any boundaries, and don’t hesitate to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner.

9. Never Underestimate your worth. Your partner losing interest has nothing to do with you and your worth. The value you hold as an individual isn’t diminished one bit just because a person has decided to break up with you.

10. Move on. You are the architect of your future. It’s you to decide what best for you and your future. So, if you partner is losing interest in you, then the best possible action would be to end the relationship and move on.

Relationships evolve and change over time. So, you can spot them other can’t. These indications will surely help those folk to find out if their partner is losing interest in them and find out way on how to resolve them.


How to Know When to Break Up Relationship

sadnessLet’s admit it: breaking up sucks!

You have been in a relationship for a few months or even years—but now you feel the relationship has lost steam lately. Now, questions keep popping up in your mind like, “Do I want to be in this relationship?” or “Do I need to break up to be happy?” The fact is, breaking up isn’t easy and factors that go into making this decision aren’t always black and white.

According to Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage and couples therapist says only 5 percent of couples end their relationship with a 100 percent conviction, while the rest have reached their decisions after struggling for months and even years. Most these couples or looking for a cause or want to their partners to call it off. Some couples are waiting for something very atrocious like cheating to happen, in which there aren’t any option isn’t left but ending the relationship for good.

If you think that there is no future in the relationship, then perhaps it’s best to break up. Here are five factors that will let you know if it’s time to end the relationship.

You Prefer To Be Alone

There are sometimes when all you want to be alone instead of being with your partner. Well, it’s perfectly reasonable if this happens once a while. We all want some space in our lives. But if you feel like this most of the time, and make excuses to be away from your partner, or makes plans on purpose, then it’s a problem. If you feel that you’re totally fine and don’t want to spend time with your partner, then you should consider breaking up.

You Feel Unhappy When You’re With Your Partner

If you think you aren’t happy like before and spend too much time complaining to your friends and others about your spouse, then time have come for you to move on. Remember, it’s not your partner's responsibility to make you happy, but being together in a relationship should make you happy.

You Aren’t Having Fun

If you and your partner are always arguing and fighting even over trivial matters all the time, then it’s a clear indication that you two need to break up. A relationship can’t blossom on arguing with your partner. It can only flourish and advance if both of you are having fun (like going to parties or concerts) and enjoying each other’s company.

You’ve felt this in Other Relationships

If you think you have been falling for the wrong person again and again, and breaking up for this, then you should consider taking therapy. Therapy will help you in identifying relational pattern problems and using those patterns to stay or end a relationship. If you see that this pattern isn’t good for your well-being or your life, then you can end a relationship.

You Can’t Forget the little or Big Things
In the beginning, you tolerated that your partner leaves their clothes all over the place, or drinks too much, thinking that they would change as the relationship advances. But over time, if you find that you are unable or tolerate certain behaviors, and going to resent them, then it's time to end the relationship.

There is some truth to the saying that some relationships are worth holding onto. We aren’t denying that and always say communication is the key when it comes to salvaging troubled relationships. When that doesn’t bear any results, then breaking up is the only option.


Breakups Aren’t That Hard You Think

beach-1846233_960_720We all can agree on one thing: Breakups are painful. A study has found that people who recently had breakups when looking at pictures of their ex-partners have the same brain activity as those who are in physical pain. Ending a relationship with a partner is more like losing a close friend. They have known you better than anyone else; you have both shared and enjoyed wonderful feelings and emotions, and memorable experiences with them.

Now, that you are ending things with him/her makes you very upset and lost. What’s even worse is that you can no longer call that person for comfort and support if you’re going through a bad time.

No matter how gut-wrenching these breakups feel, researchers say that breakups might be easier than you think and newly single people will move on sooner than they think. This is according to Dr. Paul Eastwick, who conducted a questionnaire survey of students who are in a relationship for at least two weeks. In the survey, the participants indicated how much in love were they with their partners and how sad would they feel if they ended the relationship.

Every other week the participants would receive new questionnaires and each time they were asked if they were still with their partners. Students who broke up in the meantime had their distress levels measured in a specially designed assessment system. For example, the participants were asked how much they agreed with statements like, “I’m pretty happy these days,” and “I’m very upset that my relationship ended.”

The researchers concluded that the students who said that they were in love with their boyfriends or girlfriends at the beginning of the experiment weren’t good at predicting how distressed they would be after the breakup. But later they found that it was much easier to deal with the breakup than they thought it would be.

Many of us assume that breakups are harder on the victim, rather on the person who initiated to end things, but that’s not the case. Dr. Eastwick’s research has found that participants who decided to end the relationship also felt as bad as those who didn’t. The main difference was, the people who ended the relationship predicted their recovery time accurately, while the victims of the breakup thought they would worse off than they were. However, all of the participants agreed on one thing that the pain of the breakup will gradually reduce in time, and they were correct. All this point that it’s true that breakups are painful but recovering from this unfortunate event isn’t as hard and takes less time which most people didn’t anticipate.

The bottom line is knowing when to breakup is as important as deciding when to get involved in a relationship. There isn’t any relationship that didn’t go hard times and breaking up is just a part of the deal. After all, there is hardly any point in wasting time on something that’s won’t make us happy or feel worthy in our life.


4 Unrealistic Expectations People Have About Dating

The fact is many relationships end because one or both persons in a couple failed to realize their expectations or have unrealistic ones, to begin with. So, what happens when couples in a relationship don’t get their expectations met? They become unhappy and think of a breakup. Therefore, it’s wise to know what to expect in a relationship before you be in one.

Here are four unrealistic expectations men and women have in a relationship and which are also responsible for its demise as well.

Being in a Relationship Will Make Me Happy

Believing that you will be happy and complete in you’re in a beautiful relationship is an overstatement on your part and edging towards fantasy. It’s totally understandable of your belief that if you be in a meaningful and loving relationship and provide you what you’ve been missing, but it doesn’t always work that way. It’s your responsibility to find ways on how to be happy; being in a relationship is just a part of it.

My Partner Will Spend Most of Their Free Time with Me

The idea of couples doing everything and spending time together may sound very appealing, but this riding on this expectation all the time will make you frustrated later. When you start a relationship, if find your partner little dependent on you, it makes sense that he or she would like to spend more time with your or wake up beside you every day. But remember, that your new partner needs some space and would like to socialize with their friends and family or by their own without their special someone present. Remember, being open to this is the key to long-lasting marriages.

My Partner Won’t Flirt With Anyone

You have to accept the truth that your partner will be attracted to other people besides you and when you aren’t there. So, what about flirting? Do you think that your partner will stop flirting when you are in a relationship? The answer is sad, “no”. But you can set some rules, like tell your partner not to flirt with anyone when you’re present, but also that won’t be able to tell them to stop when you aren’t in front it. In reality, a lot of men and women will flirt anyhow, if you aren’t there.

I Am Going To Have a Lot of Physical Affection in the relationship

Physical affection comes in two types, sexual affection and physical affection, itself. If your partner is very intimate, you will have a very sexual relationship, but most couples aren’t fully into it. If sexual affection is your thing, make sure your partner agrees with it. Regarding physical affection, most men and women aren’t very affectionate, mostly hold hands, kiss or hug now and then. Remember, it’s not their personality. So, if these things are a priority to you, tell your potential partners about it from the start.

The takeaway here is having unrealistic expectations are counterintuitive for a good relationship. When you start going on dates, tell your partner about your expectations and what you want exactly from the relationship from the beginning.


How to Know For Sure That Your Partner Is Cheating

There is nothing more painful than finding out your partner has been cheating on you behind your back. According to a study, it’s been reported that 50 percent of men and 85 percent of women were proven right about the suspecting that their better halves have been unfaithful to them. Sometimes the signs that your partner has been cheating on you are clear in front of you. But, the allegations are dismissed because the signs are very subtle or your partner has denied them.

So, here are some signs that you can easily spot if your partner has been cheating on you, or in case you have been missing them.

  • This one is a classic. You will find hairs, lipstick marks or traces of makeup on his clothes, and on car seats.
  • You will find a sudden change in the way your partner looks. He changed his haircut, wearing new perfumes or colognes, and new clothes. You will also notice your partner going to the gym more often, started eating more healthy and brimming with confidence.
  • People who are cheating don’t want to know their new partners that they are married, so they remove their wedding rings.
  • People who are having affairs will change their usual work and home schedules, without any apparent cause. They are hard to reach over the phone, their partners see them less, they are being late at work, or doing overtimes.
  • They have no interest in family affairs, and even if they did, they are somewhat indifferent or pay little or no attention.
  • People, who are cheating on their spouse, often feel guilty that they are betraying their partner's trust. So, they seem to show more affection to their wives or husbands more than usual, treating them very nicely, taking them to dinners and buying them gifts.
  • Suddenly, they are asking to be more social, encouraging you to go outside, make new friends, and socialize with your family members and friends. Before, they didn’t even ask you, let alone encourage you.
  • They are not interested or reluctant to have sex with their partners and even if they did they appear not seeming to enjoy it.
  • You will find condoms or birth control pills in their car dashboards, purses or pockets. Besides, in some cases, they will have them both.
  • You find your partner feeling uncomfortable looking you in the eyes, don’t want to around you or spend time with you. They feel guilty of what they are doing, so they don’t to have a conversation with you, in case you ask them what’s wrong. Besides, they avoid to attending social events like weddings, dinner parties, etc. for the same reasons.
  • A cheating partner will have a new phone hidden from you. Even if they use the same phone, they will change the password or use a complex password one, so that you can access it when they are away. If you partner is cheating you will notice he/she receive calls or text message from unknown persons, but they will avoid answering the call in front of you. They also keep clearing their call and text history more often. You will also notice they will have a have new email account if you dig deeper.

So, there you have it, a few signs that will help to find out if your partner is cheating. However, remember, these indications are just assumptions, not absolutes.


6 Online Dating Mistakes You Should Avoid

So, you decided to try online dating to meet someone. That’s a good step — forward-thinking and proactive. But there some things you should be careful about otherwise it may turn into habits and counterintuitive for your online dating experience.

Here are six tips to keep in mind as your scan through the never ending the stream of profile you’re your potential suitors.

Pictures Isn’t Everything

In online dating, it’s common for most singles to nitpick and maintain high expectations. But, remember pictures aren’t everything and don't say much about a person. Things like, “She’s pretty, but I like blondes,” if you are that kind of person, stop it. You’ll never find a person to date this way. If you want to project yourself as a mature and empathetic person, then opt for a want a real connection and a relationship with a person whom you love and in turn love you.

Don't Obsess With the Details

Don’t worry about the specifics like, which bars, food, restaurants, books or movies he or she likes. Instead, broaden your horizon and look for particulars like does she lives in the same city? Is he a reader? Does she seem funny? Don’t get consumed with the notion that there is someone out there who will match exactly to all your preferences and taste.

Evaluate the Profile for His or Her Attitude

This can be quite difficult, and you are trying to know the person and his or her attitude from a profile picture. Try reading between the lines and see if he or she’s pleasant, friendly and sincere. Also look closely for signs of bitterness, boastfulness, and insincerity. For example, if you see a person saying over and over again that a person is “very satisfied” with his or her life, or “absolutely love their lives,” then it appears the claims aren’t truly honest and exposes his or her vulnerabilities.

People Aren’t Honest About Their Personalities

Most people aren’t genuinely honest about who they are and explicitly lie about their personalities or true motives. For Instance, “I’ m an optimistic person,” or “I have a sense of humor,” means nothing as people are very unreliable self-reporters. People can lie about actual values like age, job, location or education when it comes to less tangible elements; people are simply delusive.

Don’t Get Attached Without a Real Meeting

It doesn’t matter if you have become an expert at reading people profile and passing judgments about how this girl or guy is the perfect match for you. The thing is looks can be deceiving and don’t even start a relationship without meeting him or her first in the real world. You can learn a lot of a person’s manners and demeanor, and things like how he smiles, the tone of her voice and whether he makes eye contact while talking and so on. You don’t get to see this from his or her’s online dating profile.

Don’t Start a Relationship after Two Dates

You shouldn’t do this offline too, but the temptation to do this greater in the online dating arena. Sometimes we become so tired of dating that we just get over it, and rush ourselves into the next thing, the relationship. But getting too soon in a relationship can counterintuitive and can scare your potential partner.

Being in a relationship isn’t all that simple and finding “the one,” can be hard. But finding and getting to know another person takes time and patience.


3 Questions You Need To ask Yourself about Potential Partner

So, you decided to go on a date and hopefully to be a new relationship if you have met your potential partner. But, you are always wondering, how you would know if he or she is the person you wanted to have a relationship. Well, a lot of elements are involved, if a relationship needs to last and advance. But the first things are pretty basic, simple and fun stuff. Things like, “Are they attracted to you?”, or “Do you like to talk with them?”, “Do they like the same things I like?”

But, when you are thinking of choosing the right partner for you, then you have to dig a little deeper. So, here are three things that you ask yourself about your potential spouse.

How does this person make me feel?

Falling in love is a beautiful feeling, and you feel lucky to be with your partner. Just the feeling that someone likes you is very exciting and intoxicating. But, the person you’re dating might not have the same feelings towards you. People’s emotions are hard to understand, they make you feel happy, smart, confident, but the real motives get exposed after you have dated the person for a while. He or she might not be that into, and they will always find excuses to avoid you or not to spend time with you. If you feel that he or she isn’t interested in you anymore and you seem to be unhappy being with them, then this person isn’t making you feel good about yourself. In this situation, instead of trying their approval, the best thing you can do it break up or end the relationship.

How does the person you’re dating treat other people?

When people start to date or if a relationship is in its early days, people try to bring their A game — they talk nice, they listen attentively, compliment you all the time and make you feel important. Besides, all check out how your new date treats other people like the taxi driver, the waiter, or the cashier or your friends. See if the person pleasant or stubborn or if he or she has good etiquettes. In short, find out if the person is genuinely a respectful and a kind person or if they are just pretending to be good, so will like them.

Do You Think This Peron is Trustworthy?

This question is hard to explain. Whether a person is trustworthy or not can't be answered just by looking into his or her habits or how they live their lives. It’s all about instincts. Don’t doubt your intuition and if your guts say that you can trust this person, then go for it.

So, that’s it, the three things that you need to ask yourself about your potential partner. It’s ok to criticize if all these sounds pretty basic, but in our culture where we have gotten habituated to evaluate a person by his or her physical looks, career, money, and family name— we care less about simple qualities like kindness and respect. But, it’s these qualities that matter the most in a relationship.