All posts by Dating Guru

5 Tips On How To Use Your Phone While On A Date

Normally, we aren’t the kind of people who thinks a lot about etiquettes. But, sometimes there are circumstances where maintaining proper etiquette is important and can mean all the difference in turning your date into a relationship or getting out of it due to bad behavior.

Here we will talk about what is the proper phone etiquette while you’re on a date. You’ll have to read on to get through all the details, but if you don’t want to do that, we have a short punch line for you – put that damn phone away!

1. Use your phone when you absolutely need it. Don’t bring out your phone, unless you can get all the required information. Use your phone if you want to book a hotel, reserves a table for the date, buy movie tickets or need directions. Using your phone in these situations is fine.

2. Ask for permission, even when it super important to check your phone. If you ask your new date whether it’s fine to take that call or reply to that text, he/she will really appreciate the move. He/she will feel good that you have asked for their opinion and thought about their feelings.

3. Don’t forget to wear a watch on your date. We know, nowadays, more and more people are using their smartphones as their watch, and a lot of us are checking out the time on our phones, and missed calls and text messages at the same time. However, on a date, checking your phone, now and then, makes people nervous. They think maybe you aren’t enjoying the date or bored, so you’re looking for an excuse to leave or meet up later. So, be polite and avoid doing anything that would make your date look anxious or suspicious.

4. Turn your phone off on the date. We think this is the best way to restrict your temptation to taking out your phone from your pocket or purse as a reflex. Another thing you can to is to activate the “silent” or “vibrate” mode, in case you don’t want to switch off phone entirely. On your first date, you should be polite and do everything possible to impress him or her, and playing with your phone on a date is a big turnoff.

5. Follow proper phone etiquette on the date, if you’ve decided not to see him or her again. If you’ve realized that the person sitting in front of you is the one for you, you might be tempted the pass the time fidgeting with your phone. But, this behavior is utterly disrespectful and narcissistic. Sure, you don’t like him or her, but you don’t have to smear it in their faces that you aren’t attracted or interested in them.

The bottom line is to avoid using your phone as much as possible during the first few dates. If you need to use it, ask for permission from him or her. While dating someone, if you see that your date is checking his or her phone too much, so something in a way that doesn’t get you irritated again.

5 Things Men Wish They Could Tell Women

It’s a perplexing issue that has plagued humanity, or should we say, women, since humans came into existence – What actually goes on in a man’s mind? What exactly is he thinking? We believe that we can give a short explanation of what men want to tell women. Here it goes:

1. I am not afraid of commitment
It’s a general stereotype that guys are afraid of commitment in a relationship. That’s not, but men will only commit in a relationship if they’re sure and confident about it. It’s been reported that men are more likely than women to prefer marriage than being single. Men are also interested in having serious family relationships just like women in many ways. So, set aside all the myths and presumptions ideas about men and commitment.

2. I have feelings too!
Men have feelings also. It’s just challenging for them to express it. Societies have always defined men as unemotional, insensitive, and oblivious to emotions and responsibilities. This may apply to some men, but it’s not an empirical truth. The fact is that our societies encourage men to suppress their feelings, emotions and teaches that a real man should be the strong, bold and silent type. Another thing to ponder is that most guys who grew up without a father understood his emotions and knew how to express them. Also, wise women know that men have plenty of feelings, they just need the right time and space to express them.

3. Yes, I have testosterone running through my body, but that doesn’t mean I am always looking sex
Most women think that all guys do thinking about having sex with any women they meet. Yes, some guys think about sex every second all the time. But, this might surprise you that most men believe that sex is something that should take place under the right circumstances, and at the right time, and of course, with the right person. The point here is to dismiss a preconceived cultural myth, that not every man is an uncontrollable sex maniac.

4. I need my freedom and independence, but I fear she’ll take it away!
All men need a space of their own. They want their freedom and their independence. But, a lot of guys think being in a committed relationship will make them lose all of it, and their girlfriends will become their prison wardens. Men fear being trapped and stuck. This is the reason most men feel really unsure and uncomfortable of committing to a relationship, despite the fact that they're dating their partners for a long time. Men will only commit if they’re absolutely sure, this is the woman they want to get married and settle down. Women who know this give their spouse enough space, before and after marriage.

5. I want to be able to talk about my desires, concerns, and opinions without fearing an emotional backlash.
When dating someone, guys have tons of things to say to their partners. But, most of them hesitate and withhold what they want to say. Why? Because of the potential emotional backlash, men would receive if they expressed their opinions and thoughts about their partner’s unflattering dress, her lack of skills, eating habits, and so on. Guys worry about the about the response they’ll receive. We won’t deny that some men do cross the limits while talking about sensitive issues. But it’s also true that many guys are more willing to pitch in their thoughts if they were assured that doing so won’t result in an emotional explosion of nuclear proportions.

Expressing Your Anger In The Wrong Way Will Push Him Away

It’s natural to get angry if something goes awry in your relationship, but showing it the wrong way can immediately wreck the intimacy in your relationship. Letting out your feelings without considering how your boyfriend will respond to it, will only push him away. And withholding your real emotions and showing off false feelings will also make him lose interest in you.

So, here’s what you should do, that will not only draw a guy closer to you, but you can say what you really want.

Withholding Anger Creates Distance
Our honesty depends on our self-esteem. If we say something or do something that doesn't relate or resonates with us or isn’t true about ourselves, then our self-esteem plummets. When we lose our confidence and self-esteem, we become less attractive. Men are naturally attracted to a woman who is genuine and honest about her feelings and has the confidence to be in love with herself of who she is. A confident and self-loving woman doesn’t put up with something that doesn’t feel good. As we bottle up our anger to the breaking point, we end up unleashing it on a man who he has nothing to do at, or we get angry about something that’s entirely different than what we’re mad about.

6 Steps That Will Change Everything
If you’re feeling angry, sad and hurt, let out your feelings in such a manner that will increase his attraction to you and changes everything that’s was happening that made us angry in the first place. Here are six steps that will help you do that.

Stop or interrupt whatever you’re thinking to do or say. You know this better as it hasn’t worked before.

1. Sit down and don’t go anywhere else, so your partner won’t find you.

2. Take a deep breath. Breathe in and breathe out. Do this for a few times. Feel the air flowing through your body and try to relax.

3. Tell the truth. Don’t say the word, “You,” as it makes him feel that you’re blaming him for your problems, which will make him defensive. Instead, tell him that you’ll feel sorry or disappointed or angry.

4. Never back down. It’s okay to feel afraid or vulnerable thinking that you’ve taken things a bit too far. You haven’t. If he apologizes, thank him. And don’t forget to tell him that you don’t like feeling bad or disappointed or angry.

5. Well, that’s all. It’s done. Listen to him what he wants to say, and don’t try to have a conversation about it. Your intention was to honor your feelings and emotions by communicating it to him.

6. Now do something quick that will make you happy. It can be anything from small to big like making you a cup of coffee or going for a walk in the park or beach. The main thing is that you’re taking care of yourself rather than relying on your boyfriend for it. It will also make you look even more attractive in his eyes.

So, the next time you get angry with your partner and unsure about how to handle it, try to follow the steps above. Once you do, you’ll feel so much better about yourself, feel more loved and desirable to your boyfriend, and increase the level of intimacy in your relationship.

Ask Yourself These 4 Questions If You’re Angry At Your Boyfriend

In a relationship, it’s common for two people to get into arguments about romance, commitment, intimacy, personal feelings, duties, and responsibilities. If we can’t find common ground, both parties become angry, disappointed and resentful to each other. If it goes on for a long time, and no substantial steps have been taken to address the issues, it can ruin the relationship. If you're worried about your man who has given extra responsibilities in your relationship, then before jumping into any conclusion ask yourself these few important questions.

We have seen many women who feel deprived or never get recognition for all they do in their romantic relationships. Many women tried to give extra efforts to make their relationship healthier and sacrificed so many things for a better relationship. But, at the end of the day, they wonder how they can uphold their dignity to the relationship. So, the next time you are fed up with a man, ask yourself these questions first:

1. Am I Putting In More Effort Than Him?
When you’re frustrated with your relationship or angry with your man, it often indicates you are giving more efforts than your partner. It can be defining as well as over functioning. Over functioning occurs when you are working hard to gain the affection or attention from him, or it may also happen when you’re obsessed with him. When you invest too much energy to your man, you're only putting the extra pressure in a relationship. You will be exhausted; you’ll feel less attached to each other, and the communication breaks down, which creates a distance between the two individuals. You’ll be in more frustrated with yourself, as your efforts backfire, which leads you another question.

2. Am I Treating Myself Well?
The more time you spent in making your partner happy, the less time you have for yourself to take of yourself, and yes, we are also talking about your appearance. A man wants to see her partner well-dressed, sexy, and more desirable. If you do so, he’s attraction towards you will grow as well as the will to spend more time with you. Often, women think that their partner’s are mistreating them, but it’s we are mistreating ourselves without taking proper care of ourselves. How can we expect love and respect from a man if we don’t love ourselves?

3. Are My Needs Fulfilled?
We, women, have a habit of not expressing our true feelings. We want a man to read our emotions. But we can't expect noticed without communicating what we want and need in a relationship. When you talk about your needs, you may end up making poor choices that perhaps won’t be suitable for you. If you’re a shy person or introverted, it will prevent your partner to know yourself truly. He may conceive wrong assumptions about you. If you are angry with your boyfriend for something, talk to him directly. Don't keep words to yourself; share it with your partner. Otherwise, it may lead to serious consequences.

4. Am I Trying Too Hard To Control The Outcome and My Boyfriend?
In fear of being hurt or losing their partners, most women try to manipulate the results in the hope of a better relationship, but in reality, it sours up the relationship. Be fair with you and with your relationship. Often we imagine our relationships in our heads how a relationship is “supposed to be,” and we end up feeling disappointed by the outcomes. If you waste all your time and energy to manage a man and a relationship, you lose out on finding how a man feels about you.

9 Dating Tips for Women You Can’t Afford To Ignore

When it comes to dating there isn’t any shortage of suggestions. But, there is one thing in common to most dating tips. All are about living in the moment but learning from the past. Here are some more of our favorite dating tips. Enjoy!

1. I’m Enough For Me
Some men and women dread the idea of being alone so much that they keep jumping from one relationship to the next. This isn’t good. You need to be confident, happy and comfortable on your own before you start dating.

2. Don't Assume Anything
You and girlfriend have been dating for six months, and just think that you both are exclusive. But, most of us rightfully know that it’s untrue. Ask him or her to know what the current status of your relationship is, and don’t be afraid to express your true intentions about the relationship.

3. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Do something new. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to go hiking or biking in the mountains, don’t hesitate or over think about it. Just do it.

4. Do Not Settle
Always settle for the best, don’t settle for second best. Maybe you feel stressed out because you’re 35, and still haven’t found Mr. Right, but that shouldn’t compel to settle for someone not right for you. Ultimately, you'll be much happier being single than wasting time with the wrong man or woman.

5. Learn From the Past
Before you embark on a new relationship, take some time to reflect and learn why your last relationship didn't work. Was there a reason or problem that you struggled to resolve? Are you always getting involved with people who aren’t right for you? Whether it’s right or wrong for us, understanding ourselves is the key to a brighter dating future.

6. Trust Your Instincts
Your instincts are a gift. Don’t ignore your guts when it tells you that something is wrong about the cool guy or that lovely woman you just met. Always keep your eyes open, and listen to your inner self.

7. The Man List
Who doesn’t like the idea of writing down all of the qualities and behaviors that you want to see in your future boyfriend or girlfriend? Knowing what you want is a powerful feeling, but it’s important to keep your list short and lists only the qualities that matter to be in a committed relationship.

8. Preserve Your Own Identity
You meet a great guy or gal, and you drop everything that makes you, “YOU.” This isn’t good for you or the new relationship either. Maintain your own sense of self, passion, and friendships will keep you balanced in your life, and will also make you a more desirable partner.

9. Acceptance
Many women get into a relationship with partners not right for them. But, they still continue having relationships with because they think that they could change something about their boyfriends. Let’s be clear – people don’t change. So, it’s highly likely that he isn't going to change. It doesn’t matter whether you both move in together or get married. If you are dating someone and finds it difficult to accept some traits or habits of your partner, it's time you look for someone else.

How to Find Out if Men are Intimidated By You

If you’re sharp, successful, powerful woman looking for a relationship, this won’t come as a surprise to most people when you say that men are intimidated by you. Most people think men aren’t attracted to women who earn more than them or are powerful and confident than them. Though, this might sound acceptable to some people the reality is much more complicated and isn’t true. So, what is the inside scoop you might ask?

Well, ladies, guys are not intimidated by your success. In fact, they love and admire that you are successful. They admire and are appreciative of accomplishments and ambition. What they dislike is the masculine attitude or energy that you bring in the table when you become successful. Men already have that within themselves. They certainly don’t want any more of it from their women. Most guys want a match who is ladylike, nurturing, kind, feminine, caring and easy-going lady. They hardly care which college did you graduated, how many degrees you have, how much academically accomplished you are, how much money you make a year, or how many desserts you can make.

Often successful women who are still single, ask their relationship therapists to suggest them what can they do to make them feel wanted and desirable to men. Well, the answer is quite evident. You see men are simple and straightforward. All they want from their girlfriends or dates to feel like they are MEN. That’s it. So, whether you are a top-notch female attorney, CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a highly paid investment banker deep inside – you are a woman after all. So, while dating brings the woman out of you, showcase your feminine side, get in touch with your softer side and bring that alluring and Irresistible feminine energy to the dinner table.

So, what can you do to let your feminine energy all the talking on a date? Here are ten tips.

1. After work, go home and change into something feminine. Now, get ready for your date. Don’t ever wear your office clothes.
2. Dress to impress and like a lady. Wear soft colors, light makeup, and a dress or a skirt, and heels.
3. Don’t choose the restaurant. Allow the man to do it. He will appreciate it; even the restaurant he picked it’s not your favorite.
4. Don’t discuss work on the date.
5. Be a good listener. Don’t argue with something he said that you disagree. Sometimes agreeing to disagree can do wonders.
6. Allow the man to lead like giving orders, hailing the cab, opening the doors and so on.
7. Let your guard down and be yourself.
8. Be warm and genuine, and smile.
9. Be thankful and appreciative. Thank him for taking you on a dinner date, choosing such an excellent restaurant, and planning such a beautiful date. Don’t hesitate to tell him that you really enjoyed the date, and he did a good job.
10. Let the man pursue you. Don’t send him a text, email or call him after the date. If he’s looking for a girlfriend and interested in you, you will hear from him pretty soon!

Tips To Regain Love and Trust In Your Relationship After Lying

You’ve met someone you like, you’ve been dating for several months, and everything between the two of you has been moving along well. You both feel lucky to be well matched, you both like the same things, you both laugh at the same things, and enjoy romantic sparks. Both of your future looks promising, and then all of a sudden something else happens. Your future looks dim after you discovered that your partner had told you a lie. Now, what will you do? Should you talk about the relationship, salvage it, remain in the relationship or just leave it?

For some men and women, it doesn’t matter if a lie is a small one or a big one. A lie is a lie – period. Any lie can literally destroy a dating relationship or any relationship for that matter. Some people will take into account the severity and circumstances of lying in a relationship. They understand that sometimes even the best among us do stupid things, and are willing to forgive, forget it and move on.

Anyways, no two incidents are the same. Consider these logics if you find an incident of dishonesty in your relationship.

1. Is the person willing to admit his/her mistakes and come clean? Whenever people get caught for any lies, they try all they can to cover it up with another lie. As always one lie can lead to yet another, and the vicious circle continues. Remember, trust in a relationship can only be regained when your boyfriend or girlfriend admits their mistakes and takes responsibility for it.

2. Access the overall strength of your relationship. If you’ve built your relationship on loose soil from the beginning, then the dearth of honesty is only going to make it shakier. But, you can overcome this serious problem, only if the relationship is strong enough to withstand it.

3. Be objective while looking at the situation. Lying in any form is a bad and a poor choice. Still lies play a part when it comes to exaggerating achievements, one’s personal qualities, dating someone else at the same time while telling they aren’t, etc. Some lies “enhance” the truth, while some conceal it, or replaces with a false version of the reality. It’s up to you how you assess the impact of lies in your relationship.

4. Keep your boundaries clear and hold on to them. Be direct and straightforward about your expectations if you want to avoid any future problems that might arise in the relationship. If you see that partner isn’t 100% committed to regain your trust and to be entirely honest, then it’s time that you seriously think if this is the right relationship for you.

5. Trust your instincts. Allow yourself to feel and act in the way that makes you feel good about yourself. Remind yourself that dating isn’t a kind of an audition to check out whether the both of you can be in a committed relationship or not. If you’re dating someone and feeling doubtful and suspicious about your boyfriend or girlfriend for telling a lie or anything else, don’t refute, get angry or dismiss them. Carefully listen to your head and heart is telling you. In short, listen to your guts.

How To Establish An Unbreakable Connection With A Man’s Heart

You and your boyfriend might share a lot of common interests and similar goals, but if you don’t or fail to create an unbreakable connection with his “heart,” then nothing else is worth to take about. It’s the connection with his heart that matters the most in a relationship. If you feel that you’re missing that with your man, or just couldn’t reach his heart, then don’t get anxious. There is a way to connect with a guy at deeper and emotional level, right from the beginning.

Be Present With Him
A guy can’t connect with you if your mind is somewhere else other than him. If you’re on a first date and thinking too much whether you can have a second date with him, then you’re losing a great chance to connect with a man. If you’re on a first date with a man, the only thing you should be doing to enjoy the experience and savor the moment. Enjoy your dinner, relax, go out for a walk in the park, appreciate the sights around you, etc. When a man realizes that you like to be at the moment, he’ll think that you’re a woman whose main agenda is to enjoy spending time with him. It will also make him feel comfortable to let you into his heart.

Get Curious About Him
An excellent way to immediately create a connection with a man is to show that you’re genuinely interested in him, and who he is real. We can’t resist the temptation to talk about ourselves. But, if you’re on a first date with a man, this isn’t the time to over stuff his head about your accomplishments, your great adventures, your goals, etc. We aren’t telling you not to have a conversation with a man about these things. You can and should, but you need to pace yourself. Don’t tell him all at once. There will be plenty of time to talk about these things with him when he asks you for a second date. And he will if he finds that he’s dating a woman who is curious to know more about him.

Feel Vulnerable
The key to true intimacy and emotional connection is when two people are feeling safe enough to fully open and be honest about themselves in front of the each other. It means that you let your date know about your true feelings and your fears. You know that you’re feeling nervous on the first date, and instead of hiding your fears, and pretending that you’ve got it all under control, let him know what’s going on for you. When you do that, he’ll see that you’re not perfect, and this is a good thing!

Your man will be relieved that he’s dating a real human being with real feelings and emotions. He’ll also safe, comfortable and confident enough to share his true feelings and inner experiences with you.

So, the next time you are meeting someone new, and you want to connect with him, all you need to do is be present with him, get curious about him, and willing to show your true self to him.

6 Ways To Boost Your Togetherness Quotient (TQ) To Fall In Love

Are all of your new relationships short-lived and unsatisfying? Are you one of those men and women who spend all of their at home alone on the weekends because dating is complicated and hard? Do you think of yourself destined to remain single?

If yes, then know that these are all signs that you need to boost your “Togetherness Quotient” or “TQ.” Togetherness Quotient is the term that is used for the combination of attitudes and behaviors an individual has which determines how quickly he or she can form healthy, intimate relationships. Our ability to love someone deeply and intimately depends on the all the relationships and experiences, that we have gathered since the day we were born.

If we try, we can boost our TQ, and have the chance to get rid of the barriers to love ourselves and love others. Here are seven ways to do it.

1. Practice Relationships
Love isn’t something that will come knocking at your door. You have to get out there, look for it, practice talking, laughing, sharing, and socializing. Join a social group like a book club or a hiking group. The first to find love is meet new people and be friends with them.

2. Accept Yourself
Until you accept yourself, you can’t master togetherness and intimacy in a romantic relationship. Pause for a moment and think what things about yourself that you like are, and then accept it. Forgive yourself for all of past activities that make you feel ashamed, or things that you’ve done that have hurt others. Strive on believing in yourself.

3. Stop Thinking About Your Past
No matter how painful your breakups were, or how bad your previous relationships were, take some comfort for yourself as all of these are in the past now. Everything today will much more exciting and different. Learn from these life lessons and experiences so the next time you go on a date, expect that he/she will be the right partner for you. Always expect a better outcome this time.

4. Honor Your Boundaries
Togetherness Quotient means accepting and taking care of yourself. Get involved in activities that you like doing; gives you joy, soothe you, delight you and make you feel free, energized and excited. If you’re happy, confident and active, it will make you look more attractive to another person.

5. Make Your Hopes And Dreams Come True
When it comes to love relationships, what are your hopes and dream about the relationship? What is the dream you’ve carried throughout your whole life? What is that you always wanted to have which you wanted to experience and share with another person? Dreams play a vital role in the togetherness quotient. Togetherness is an essential part of yourself. Envision of manifesting your dream into reality to find the right person.

6. Be Courageous
One of the big hurdles most men and women face while looking for love is that they’re afraid of intimacy. But, there is absolutely no reason to feel that way. Are you scared that the man or the woman you’re going to meet for the first time won’t like you? Who cares? If that occurs, then it means you both are not a good fit anyway, and you should move on.

Effective Communication Skills is A Must To Connect Better

Most men and women think the communication is simple and straightforward. After all, it’s all just talking and listening. Well, it is. But, good communication involves two people with tender feelings and valid opinions. Communication between two people gets complicated when a person’s emotions are on the line. We also fail to have a balanced conversation with our partners due to insecurities of each other. It can be really upsetting and frustrating.

Here are six common obstacles couples encounter while having conversations with one another.

1. Too Much Talking And Less Listening
Some people think that just because they can talk nonstop, they’re excellent communicators. But, talking is just one part of the communication, and that too isn’t the important part. Effective communication requires both talking and listening, but for most men and women, talking is easier than listening. But, remember one thing that great communicators are excellent listeners.

2. The Need To “Take Care” Of Every Problem
Many men and women, instead of listening with empathy, do the wrong thing by offering lots of advice. Whenever you open up and talk about your feelings to a chronic problem-solver, he or her primary focus will be to fix the problem, and undermining the real causes that created the problem in the first place. The goal of gaining greater understanding is often neglected. It’s better not to go for problem-solving and wait until your partner asks for it directly.

3. The Dumping Crisis
For some folks, a conversation is an opportunity to purge. They seldom know how much is too much. We believe you’ve experience dealing with people like this, and when you’ve been around them for some time, you start to feel trapped and tricked. You find that there is no give-and-take, and people like this want a listener, not a soul mate.

4. The Expectation Of Reading Minds
We assume that you’ve met individuals who told you that if you really understood them, then they won’t need to explain everything to you. Though mind-reading might be huge in showbiz, they offer almost nothing when it comes to real relationships. You boyfriend or girlfriend won’t understand you by reading your mind, but by having a dialogue in a clear and straightforward manner. If you want your significant other to know more about you, it will only happen when you share your thoughts and feelings.

5. Having The Spotlight All By Yourself
Communication is a two-way street. Same goes when it comes to conversations. Some people keep elbowing others out of the path so they can steal the spotlight all by themselves. Excellent communication only begins with genuine interest. You’ve to be sincere to know and understand what happening inside and outside of your partner, and vice versa.

6. Keeping Everything Frivolous
Most people want to maintain their conversations light and casual. But, often these men and women struggle in accessing their feelings, rather than the willingness in communicating those feelings. They want to talk, but they can’t exactly figure out what to talk about. Therefore, if you want to excel at communication, be aware of what’s going on inside of you.

If you’re dating someone, and want a soul connection with your partner, start by bringing down the walls that obstruct to have a deeper level of conversation.