All posts by Dating Guru

What Do You Do When You’re Frustrated with Your Date

It’s natural for people to get angry if we don’t have something we want badly. And it’s even worse when it comes to dating. We understand if you’re becoming angry when you can’t find the perfect mate, even after having dates after dates. Take it as like a job interview, when you can’t land a job even giving a lot of them. Similar, going on many dates, and still failing to find someone to have a lasting relationship can make even the happiest and nicest men and women bitter. It makes perfect sense.

If you think you’re angry about the whole dating process, there are two things you have do. First, honestly admit that the dating process had made you miserable; second, develop a plan that will improve your mood about dating. It will make you attractive to people who are compatible with you.

1. Be clear what kind of relationship you want to have. Ask yourself if you want to date casually or will settle down the moment you meet the right person. Plus, make sure if you’re too strict or relaxed about the qualities and traits you want to see in a partner. Usually, men and women become angry if they can’t find someone who exactly meets their requirements. These folks can’t see the bigger picture. Ask yourself if you have met someone who rigidly fits your traits for the past few months. If you’ve met people who at least met some at least few of your criteria, then go back and see what’s wrong.

2. Besides, ask yourself are you too desperate? Are you anxious and scare people away when you take things too fast too soon? Is that you aren’t trying hard or just want the other person to do all the work? Or are you just bad at communicating your desires and feelings to another person?

3. Be vulnerable with your closest friend. This goes for both men and women. Ask your friend if you’re bad at dating or you just happen to have a bad luck finding good dates. Remember; don’t get defensive when your friend expressed his or her opinion. Instead, take some time off and think about it. You might find some wisdom in it.

4. Try a different dating scene. If online dating is making you frustrated, perhaps it’s time you try other alternatives to meet new people. Visit restaurants, bars, parties, sporting events, or local events and activities with friends. If you keep going to the same places, again and again, it’s very likely that you’ll get bored or angry because you have failed in bringing enough diversity in your social life.

5. Take some time off, relax and soothe your mind when your mood is down. Try getting involved in activities that will make you calm and comfortable. No rigorous exercise routines or screaming allowed. There a lot of ways you can do that; like taking several showers over the week, reading a good book or magazine, write a poem, have a barbecue, have a massage or a manicure, etc.

At some point, sooner or later, our emotions will hit rock bottom, while looking for a perfect mate. If you take a step back and be grateful for the positive events that happened in your life, then certainly you won’t feel bitter anymore and get back to the dating scene again. This time you won’t feel stressed or anxious about finding the right person for a lasting relationship.

8 Signs That Indicate Your Online Match Is A Fraud

If you’re thinking about having a relationship, there are lots of ways to meet people and know them. Apart from the old-fashioned way to meeting people in social events and parties, online dating is fast gaining popularity among tech-savvy young people. Even though online dating is a relatively new way to find your match, it’s no doubt an amazing avenue to meet your match. However, just like everything online, you should be careful when you want to meet and date your online match.

Here are some warning signs that indicate that your online match isn’t exactly what they seem to be and what can you do about it.

1. Fraudsters often aren’t specific what they want in a partner. Therefore, more people will look into their profile and respond to their request. When you contact them, the first they do is compliment your looks, instead of on complimenting on your achievements and knowing about your goals.

2. They say “I love you,” even before they met you in person. How can you tell if it’s real or not, unless they tell that in person? They may sound great on the phone; they make promises that are unrealistic, but when you meet them in the real world, you find them, they aren’t the person you thought they were.

3. Scammers don’t like the email service of the dating site to make contacts. They ask you to contact them directly and send emails using a different service. Remember, you are using a dating site to protect your privacy and from scammers. So, don’t fall for it.

4. They don’t like to answer the questions you asked them in the emails. Even if they respond, it looks like the email is written out by a machine rather than a real person.

5. Fraud online matches want to meet you, but not in the place where you live or your match lives. If you suggest them to meet in the place you both live, they decline it. They want to meet in a location that is not related to you or them.

6. Most of their conversation is about money. A person who makes a good living wants someone who will love them for who they are as a person, not because of their income or money. Fraudsters will brag about their salaries, bank balances, how wealthy they are and so on. Sometimes, they ask about to lend them money and invest in one their businesses or saving schemes and what not. If a person is really interested in you, why should they ask about your finances?

7. They don’t call you. Most are interested in sending texts or emails. They even don’t answer what you ask them. When they call, the conversations are short and inconclusive.

8. They don’t look like they do in the pictures. The pictures they posted in their profiles aren’t of an actual person. Besides, the backgrounds of their pictures aren’t real too in most cases. They take photos in from of a big mansion, a new boat, or swanky restaurant, etc. that shows that they’re wealthy and live an extravagant lifestyle. In real life, it’s a whole different story. So, keep an eye on it.

Finding love online can be a good solution for people who are finding it difficult to meet someone in the traditional paradigm. Just like most things, it can be abused. So, if you see signs like these, they might be a fraud. Don’t waste your time with scammers; instead, focus on finding real love.

5 Signs That Your Date Is A Disaster

When we’re dating someone new, we all look for possible flaws in a partner. Because when you’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to forget all the flaws and only focus on the feelings only. Most people, in particular men, have complained that they fell in love with someone, and after few month or even years, they found that they were dating a crazy person. Their partners have revealed their true selves, and they regretted later why they didn’t realize this earlier in the relationship so that they could end it sooner.

Most people are sympathetic towards these folks as they were blindsided with love. Some don’t feel sad for them, as they paid attention about their dates. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a person for a few months or years, sooner or later, people will show their real character. They’ll reveal they are true personalities for better or for worse. When it happens, you will know about their integrity, character, dedication, and committed in their lives and the relationships as well.

You only need to pay attention and here are five signs that will show if your date is a disaster or a keeper.

1. How does your date treat their family and friends?

Find out how you date treats their friends and family members. Are they generous and helpful to them? How often do they spend time with them? Are they kind towards their friends and family members? If they get sick does your partner shows compassion towards them and take care of them? If your date doesn't love their family and friends, shows little or no compassion towards them when they need it, the chances are that your date will do the same to you ultimately.

2. How does your date talk about their ex?

Does your date constantly talks ill or bashes their ex in front of you and their friends? Are they angry and resentful towards them? If yes, then brace yourself as your date will do the same and talk bad about you in the same fashion, in case, you break up with him or her.

3. Are they good or bad parents?

If you happen to date someone with kids, find out how they treat them. It’s a big indicator to see who they’re as an individual. Do they cater to the needs of their children? Are they active parents? Do they treat their kids like they’re the most important things in their life? Are they providing for them financially? If your date doesn’t make their kids their number one priority, you can pretty much guess what’s in store for you!

4. How often does your date argue?

Does your date freak out or gets overly emotional? Do they fight with your in public and gets very mean? If yes, then it’s time you to get out from that relationship as it’s heading for a disaster.

5. How does your date cope with adversities at life and work?

If anything goes wrong at work or if things don’t go as expected, how does your date deals with it is a great indicator of how he or she will react and handle various calamities in a relationship. Do they get overly dramatic or overreact? Do they break down quickly? It’s okay to get upset if something bad happens, but in life, we have to get over it and move on the next day. If your partner is a drama queen, then please let them go.

So there you go, pay attention to these traits while dating someone new and you’ll get to know the real personality of your partner and never get bamboozled again.

Ladies, This is How You Get Your Match to Ask You Out!

It can be frustrating for women looking for matches on online dating sites where they have to keep engaging in lengthy emails exchanges with their matches. Most women complain their matches never seem to ask them out and after they’ve answered several thoughtful questions. The questions range from about their past relationships, their hobbies, favorite activities, personal goals, etc. Instead of asking them out for a drink sometime, they get even more queries like, why do they like yoga?

These emails are, no doubt, time-consuming, and it’s highly likely you’ll get annoyed when your match asks if how you will spend your weekend. It’s irritating, and you can lose enthusiasm, because, it’s clear that he’s not willing to spend the weekend with you. Suspicions can also rise as you might start wondering what’s taking him forever to have a real conversation with you in person instead of sending emails. You can’t help, but wonder is he just playing you around while he’s dating someone else. Or maybe he’s shy or afraid of getting rejected that why he’s using email as a stalling mechanism.

When you’re looking for partners online, it’s important to have a few email correspondences (3 email exchanges is okay) as it helps you to get to know the person a little better. If you want to know the person fully, then you should have a real conversation in the real world.

So, is it a good idea to ask him out? Well, if you do, then you might be disrupting the traditional gender roles as its men who always take the lead when it comes to asking out for a date. The fact is women just feel better when men are excited about meeting them. Anyways, there is a third approach, instead of asking him out straight away, when you feel resigned after he sends you his 11th email enquiring about your relationship with your parents or siblings.

Here are a few suggestions to master the art of forcing him to ask you out:

Get curious

If your match emails you telling why he switched careers or relocated, then you can send a subtle response by telling him that, you are interested to hear more about but only over a cup of coffee.

Become a player

If your online match asks you something that requires a long conversation, like what are first things you like to do on your bucket list? You can reply by saying it’s a big issue, but you’ll need to have a drink with you before to answer it.

Be appreciative

If your match is inactive in taking action after a few email exchanges, be respectful about it, instead of lashing out or become angry with him. Instead, you can write that you’ll feel more comfortable if we have the conversation offline.

The takeaway here is to remain positive. You won’t like to put yourself match in a defensive position, like asking if he's interested in you in meeting you in person. You don’t also have to hurt his feeling his feeling by criticizing his endless email marathon by writing that you’re fed up of replying to his emails.

There’s always a possibility that your match isn’t getting the hint or can’t free up his schedule for a date. Or he’s seeing someone else. Whatever, the case, you’ve nothing to lose, except your time to answer another email.

6 Ways to Get Your Ex Back

Better late than never. It’s not certainly too late to reignite the romance with your ex after you have broken up, but don’t rush and make any mediocre gestures. It’s a second chance for your relationship, and you have to do this right. You need to be more cautious and confident that ever before. Here are six tips on getting her back for a second chance.

1.</> Send a loving text: The absence of loved ones makes hearts grow fonder. But sometimes, it's why women will look for a man. Instead, of calling first, try sending a romantic text. Don’t send a text that looks inviting or sounds like a booty-call. Share something that brought you together as a couple in the first place. If she responds, then she may be available for a conversation.

2. Don’t rush. You already had a relationship with her, so slow down. Don’t take things too fast too quickly. Propose getting together, not living in together.

3. Consider calling her: Call her and invite her for a casual date. Don’t email or text about it. Tell her that you miss her. Let her hear your voice and be sincere and honest about your efforts. Ask her what’s she doing now, how is her work, how are friends and family are doing, or if her dog still pees on the carpet and so forth. You know her, she knows you, so keep the conversation light. Ask her to accompany you at an art gallery, go hiking with you, or watch a movie. It will give you the chance to reconnect with a relaxed environment, with too much pressure. Remind yourself that your date is just an invite; there is no surety that she will get back with you.

4. Take responsibility and apologize: If she wants to open and have a discussion about, step up a notch and your shortcomings in the relationship. If you’ve done a mistake or anything hurtful, take responsibility and apologize.

5. Don’t talk about the past: After acknowledging what went wrong the relationship, don’t look back to the past. Look forward and settle all the things you thought went wrong in the relationship. Focus on all the positive traits that brought you both together in the first place such as your awesome sense of humor or her laid-back attitude. Don’t talk about what you both did after the breakup. Have a discussion in a way that the relationship never even existed. You both went separate ways after the relationship ended and it's not a good idea to talk about all the things that happened during that time. She doesn’t want to know how many bad dates you had or how hard you tried to find a good date. I suppose you too aren’t interested to hear how many guys she dated, right?

6. Get your romantic groove on: We aren’t suggesting chivalrous acts are attractive, but they’re important nonetheless. Gestures like sending chocolates, cards, and flowers to her office will surely make her coworkers envious. We know they are clichés, they kind of work. Even better, explain the whole thing by writing an old-fashioned sweet, flirty love letter.

The bottom line is this advice isn’t for everyone. However, if you’re really positive about your ex-girlfriend, then these suggestions will help your seal the deal.

Are You a Dateable Person?

Are you the person whom others want to date? Do you want to date someone? What do you need to have to find the right person to date? Well, keep reading.

There Is No Right Person

We are human; we all make mistakes and we all have flaws. We aren’t perfect in any way and finding the right person is a myth. Just look at the breakup and divorces rates. Almost half of all marriages end in a divorce, and most of them believe it happened because they didn’t marry the “right” person. It’s more of being the right person, instead of finding the right person. Only if we could work on becoming the right person and do all the things that make us right. Intriguing, right?

Online Dating Is a Great Approach

Getting to know someone better online and then meeting him or her in person is a great way to find a person you want to have a relationship. Assuming they were honest with their online profiles and with you, you can get a general idea who they are, what they like and value before you meet them. There is an advantage in this because once you meet someone new, there is a chance you can fall under his or her “spell.” It makes you lower your guards and overlook flaws which were important and crucial for you. You suddenly lower your standards and expectations and ignore things that you wanted in a relationship.

Making Things, Physical Won’t Help

Sometimes if two people have been dating for a few weeks or months, the chemistry is so powerful that they take things too fast too soon. They decide to make their relationship monogamous and exclusive. However, the longer you wait to get physical with your relationship, the better off you’ll be. The physical side of the relationship easy, but the emotional relationship is the hardest part. We all want to sexually active with the other person while in a relationship, but genuine intimacy needs strong physical and emotional bond. Real intimacy comes when two people fully know and relate to each other fearlessly.

Accountable vs. Capable

At marriages, we see a person pledging his or her wedding vows to another person. The act simply makes you accountable to the person you’re marrying and the promises you’re making. But, it’s a significant move, but just being accountable doesn’t always make you capable of honoring those vows or any promises you make in a relationship or marriage. If you fail to be accountable, you’ll be miserable and upset, and being miserable in a marriage or a relationship isn’t good.

The Bottom Line

Overall, if you want to have a relationship with the right person, instead of looking for the right person, first become a right person. Don’t just dismiss someone just because they aren’t perfect for you; instead try to bring the best of that person, which makes him or her right to for you. Taking things slow is a good way to decide whether the person you’re dating will make a good partner for you or not. Improve your capability to be accountable to promises you make to your partner in a relationship or marriage.

Getting Back With Your Ex: Awesome or Awful Idea?

We have stories of married couples who broke up on their way to the altar and then reunited again after they realized that they couldn't live without each other. Then, some folks have got back with their exes after a breakup or even worse an unhappy marriage or a divorce. After going through these experiences, these people have wished they should have broken up and moved on, instead of getting back with their former partners.

If you’re considering or wanting to get back with a former partner but aren’t sure of your future prospects or whether if it's wise or a wrong decision, then we will say, it's hard to predict the future. Instead, we take our best shot at it considering various variables in the hope of find lasting love. Here are few strategies that will help you.

1. Analyze the level of volatility in the relationship. Some specific traits are incompatible for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. These are emotional abuse, physical abuse, addictions, emotional baggage, and character problems like cheating, lying and stealing. If you’ve noticed few or most of these behaviors in your partner in the past relationship, and it made you feel upset, stressed, afraid, trapped or angry, then don’t go back. In fact, be grateful that this dreadful relationship has ended. Consider your loneliness as a gift and being free.

2. Don’t let your emotions overrule your judgment. Love and hope are powerful emotions. Loneliness is one of our greatest fears. So, sometimes our emotions can overtake our rationality and decisions to justify accepting toxic behaviors with the hope that things will eventually get better if we reunite. It possible that there can be certain changes at a deeper level, but it’s unlikely. So, don’t rush yourself of getting back with your ex or in a toxic relationship, just because your instinct is telling you. Feelings aren’t permanent, and you’ll certainly get over them.

3. Don’t reminisce about your romantic past together. No relationship is perfect. Try to get an accurate image of your previous relationship, find out what was good and what was wrong that led to the demise of the relationship. Approach the future by looking clearly in the past with a vision and wishful thinking. You will surely realize that things that were “important” to you at that time are actually insignificant now. It will also give you a new perspective on the relationship you’re about to begin.

Ask important questions to yourself about your previous relationship, why did it end, or what things did we did together that made the relationship loving and brought the best of one another. See if the loneliness is the main reason that is forcing you to get back to your ex, or if you’re willing to make any changes to make the relationship for the second time.

Overall, if you’re having a difficult time debating whether getting back with your ex is an awesome or awful idea, remember one thing. Reuniting with a person you surely know is wrong for you, is a bad choice, even your heart tells you that it’s right. On the flipside, some relationships are worth fighting for and giving it a second chance in a hope to turn it into even beautiful and loving one.

Four Ways On How To Get Over Your Ex and Move On

Getting over your ex and moving on after a breakup isn’t easy. In fact, most people can’t move on with their lives after the demise of their relationship, not because there is a shortage of available singles, it’s mainly that they never healed and really got over their former partners.

Here are four ways that will help you get over your ex and move on:

1. Take A Hiatus From Dating

It's a great way to start your life anew after a breakup, even though it may sound contradictory. But, sometimes if you want to move forward, you just have to stop and take some time off to heal. Avoid dating for at least a month, but you extend it to three months if you prefer. During this dating detox stage don’t keep sulking about your ex and how much you miss him or her, instead take steps in rebuilding your confidence. Treat yourself with love and respect that same way you would expect from your new partner. Treat yourself with gifts, cook healthy meals, take a vacation, get that promotion, stop smoking, drinking, and all other bad habits. Get involved in some physical activities or sports and take care of yourself. You’ll be amazed how much better you’ll be feeling after your dating detox.

2. Let It All Come Up

Some people find themselves obsessing over their exes after the breakup. They know it’s unhealthy, but they admit that the more they try not to think about their ex, they end up thinking them more about them. It’s okay if these thoughts come up, but the trick is not to get obsessive over them. Another helpful tip is if any memories come up; write your feelings down in a diary or a journal and let it go.

3. Let Go of You Ex

If you’re still scouring your ex’s Facebook or other social media pages, visiting the places where your ex go or ask their friends what they are up to, then you have a problem. It means that you're obsessing over your ex and haven’t let him or her go from your life. A lot of people assume that if they stay close to their ex, maybe there’s a chance that they will take them back. This behavior might turn out to be counterintuitive and will actually prevent that from happening. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours forever. And if they don’t, then you two weren’t meant to be one.

4. Fall in Love Again

If you want to get over your ex, then being in a new relationship is the best way to do it. However, don’t rush it even if you think you’re ready for it. Take your time, keep your on your emotional issues and if you believe that you are ready for it, then go it.

Breakups make us angry, insecure, embarrassed, resentful, but no matter what we have to get over our exes and move on with our lives. Focusing on our rebuilding our confidence and personal issues, seeking support from our friends and family, and having a clear and positive vision about the healing process will help us to get over our exes and move on with much ease.

6 Ways You Can Get Him Back Without being Desperate or Needy

Desperate times call for desperate measure – if you’re a woman who has attempted to get your ex back, then you most likely have resorted to this approach. You were compelled to do all sort of unfortunate things like drunk dialing, walk of shame and so forth. These behaviors looked flattering but rendered you to be his doormat, which eventually pushed his way. It's excruciatingly painful for many women as they’re in still in love with their exes even after the relationship has ended. Most women feel insecure and embarrassed about it and all the things they did to get their exes back. Here are six steps you can get him back without looking desperate or needy.

1. Don’t disapprove with why the relationship ended. Don’t disagree with him, if he talks about the reasons why the relationship didn’t work out. Instead, find the truth, accept it and later apologize for it. Being loved and happy is more important than being right.

2. Don’t convince your boyfriend or husband of all the reason why he should return to you. Trying to convince him to a part of your life will be a turn-off. It reiterates that notion that he’s better off without you as he views you as needy and desperate. Desperation and neediness are very unattractive traits to have in a relationship.

3. Be responsible for the breakup. Acknowledge that you also played a role at the end of the relationship. Instead of blaming him for everything, and look deeply what happened and determined how you contributed to the demise of your relationship. For example, if you have trust issues, and always questioned if your partner is faithful to you, then this may be one of the reasons, your partner decided not to be with you anymore. Therefore, try working on your trust issue before you ask back to be with you.

4. Make him come to you on his own. If a man actually wants what he wants, he will work on it and places a higher value on it. If you miss him, then don’t call him. Let him miss you and wonder what you’ve been doing. If he really misses you, he will contact you, perhaps want to be physical with you (decline it nicely), etc. Make sure if he does call you, respond accordingly. Keep sex out of the table, until you resolve all the issues.

5. Put yourself first and do what’s right and best for you. When your boyfriend or husband returns, don’t start the relationship again, where it ended. Instead, allow him to resolve all the problems that ended the relationship. This gives him an incentive to want you back. Get back together and work on these issues. However, don’t ever coerce him to think that it was you who was responsible for the end of the relationship.

6. Have a positive vision. Be clear about what exactly how you want to see your relationship to be this time. If you like your vision, behave and act in a way that will make you feel happy about yourself. Let things happen at its pace, relax, and stay positive about the outcome. Trust that things will work out for the best. And if he doesn’t come back, then don’t frown, there is someone else better for you.

Remember, you’re better off without him if he was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive towards you. In that case, you will be okay without him. However, if you follow these steps, approach him accordingly, and if he comes back, it will be immensely rewarding. You’ll again have a second chance for loving and fulfilling relationship.

How Speaking About Your Ex Reveals A Lot About You

Bashing your ex on your first date with someone new is never a good idea. You’re not going to impress your new love interest with lurid stories of your ex-girlfriend or your ex-husband’s uncontrollable rage during the first hour of your date. But, eventually you’ll have to talk about your previous relationship and what didn’t it last, and sometimes it’s irresistible not always to take the high road.

Problems arise when you start talking about your ex in the early days of dating. Here are few reasons that it’s probably for the best that you should be careful while talking about your former lover.

1. Your date will assume that you’ll talk ill about them like that some day

If you keep trashing your ex, call them lurid and nasty names and criticize their personality, your date will assume that you’re the kind of person who talks about people behind their backs. They’ll eventually think that if something bad happens to the date or the relationship, they too will become the topic of your horrid bashing, which will upset them.

2. Your date will think that you’re someone who doesn't like be accountable or take responsibility for any wrongdoing

It would be responsible if you said to your date about what went wrong in the relationship or marriage before it ended and you tried your best to mend it and take responsibility for your actions. Well, few people are like that, and most of them just blame each other if anything went wrong in the relationship, instead of taking some responsibility for their behavior.

3. Your date will wonder that you’re looking for someone who’s not like their ex

We don’t want to make the same mistakes again. The same goes for relationships too. Past relationships are excellent tutors. When we start dating someone new, we don’t want our new dates to have the traits or the quirky behaviors of our exes, which we could not change. And it caused the relationship to end. Your new date will wonder that whether if you’re going to love them for their desirable traits. So, be cautious when you talk about your ex. For example, if your ex was a night owl, then you probably will like someone who is a morning person, you like to date someone who loves pizzas because your ex loved pasta, you get the picture.

4. Your date thinks if you haven’t moved on

Can’t stop talking or even thinking about your ex? Accusing him or her of the demise of your marriage or relationship? Then, all these points to one direction – you aren’t over your ex and haven’t forgiven her. If this is the case, then you’re still ready to date someone new and be in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

So what can you do? It’s not a good solution if you never talked about your ex. Your date will be on wondering why. Here what you can do. Always talk about your past relationship in a way that feels like never-ending or unresolved conflict. There is no ex-bashing in that conversation. Tell your new date that past mistakes in your previous relationship have made you emotionally mature and helped you learn to become a better person and a partner. Compliment and respect your ex. Tell your new date about all the admirable qualities and traits he or she had in them that made you fall in love with them.