All posts by Dating Guru

8 Top Signs You Should Not Marry Him

You think you love your man. You both have been in a relationship; now you have decided to get married. You believe your man wants to get married. He says all and does all the right things, yet you begin to find that there is no match between his words and actions. You boyfriend tells that he respects you, but most of the time dismisses your opinions.

Now, you begin to doubt that if this is the man you want to marry! Some women say they can change their boyfriends after getting married, but the truth is personalities cannot be changed. Here are eight behavioral traits you cannot change or fix in a man:

1. You find him to be very controlling. He wants to be a boss in every situation like if you want to a park, he will insist on going to a restaurant. This clearly proves that he wants to have complete control of your relationship, but a real loving relationship doesn’t have that.

2. He has a condescending demeanor, and it drives you mad. He always makes the final say in all matters. There is no hierarchy in a loving relationship. His opinions and attitudes cannot be better than yours.

3. You find him to be narcissistic. People who are narcissistic believe that they are better and superior to you and have little to no regard for other people’s feelings. If you find your future husband is narcissistic, it better to end the relationship right away. Simple as that.

4. He supports bullying attitudes. Everyone hates a bully. But, the truth is bullying is also present in relationships and marriages. He will push you around and will always control and won’t let be out from his shadow. If that’s the case, it’s time to breakup with him.

5. He is manipulative. He treats you like his puppet. He always attempts to manipulate your feelings, actions, behaviors, and even your future aspirations. This is one precarious form of control. You don’t want that kind of person to be your future husband.

6. He never keeps his promises. He promised you a birthday present; he didn’t deliver it. He told to take you to a romantic dinner; he didn’t. The thing is your man has promised a lot of stuff to do, but in the end, he has a hard time honoring them.

7. You find that your boyfriend cannot be trusted. The key for a loving and long-lasting marriage is TRUST. Marriage will only survive through all good and bad times, only if both people in a relationship trust one another completely. If you don’t find your boyfriend doesn’t seem trustworthy to you, leave the relationship right away.

8. He has trouble with his finances. Because one of the primary reasons for divorces is related to financial woes, it’s important for you to marry someone who is responsible with his finances and doesn’t have any massive outstanding debts. Some signs are he’s out of work most of the time, he gambles, and buy stuff he doesn’t need or use, or you pay the bills most of the time.

So, there you have it, these eight behavioral characteristics are very real and define a person. Actions are related to personality, and you cannot change people’s personalities. Taking heed of these behavioral characteristics could save you from a marriage that is full of distress, unhappiness, and even danger.


Forgiving Your Ex is Important to Move on after a Breakup

Where there are relationships, there will be breakups. Every day many men and women decide to let go of the relationships that weren’t ideal for them. How well their next relationship will end depends on what will these newly single men and women tell themselves about their previous relationships and their exes. A crucial step to moving on after a breakup is forgiving their ex-partners and not being angry at what they did or said that led the relationship to end. If you don’t let go of the anger and forgive, you will find it difficult to move on.

These four steps that will help you in the process of forgiving your ex and let go of your anger:

Be Sure You Clearly Understand What Angered You Most About Your Ex

Of the emotions, anger is by far the most underrated. Most people are afraid of their angriness, and scared those if they are upset; it will cause them to lose control emotionally and will lead people to think that they are “mentally imbalanced,” or “crazy.” However, anger comes naturally from within us and automatically with any relationship, even in the best ones. After breaking up, take hold of your anger and recall why did your former partner do that made your angry the most? Or what things did he or she do that made me neglected, humiliated or betrayed?

Channel Your Anger into Words

Only thinking about your anger won’t help you enough in the healing process after a breakup. You have to channel all that anger into writing. Write down a few lines of the worse upsetting events with your ex in a journal and store in your closet. Writing about your thoughts is very effective because it helps to organize your feelings into small thought fragments that stick in your mind. Read what you wrote in your journal now and then, and the notes will act like an old friend consoling, supporting and assuring you if you start missing your ex. Or simply reminiscing the good and the bad times you had with your ex.

Find What Have You to Learn From Your Past Relationship

After a breakup, people often feel overwhelmed by the sense of loss, sadness, emptiness and failure. You should get rid of your anger and negative feelings by any means, so that you can move on and embark on a new relationship with a positive emotional outlook. To say goodbye to your anger and sad feelings after a breakup, focus all your mental energy to figure out what are you supposed to learn from the demise of your previous relationship. Once you understand that the relationship had to end, and then only you learned a valuable lesson. You will feel more confident towards your ex and won’t feel hard forgive him or her.

What Should You Tell People When Asked About Your Ex-Partner

When you have a breakup and start to move on, people will wonder what went wrong with your ex. Instead of bad-mouthing your anger, tell them, you both were solid at first, but then something went wrong, and you both tried the best to fix it. But then you both found out there is no future in this relationship. So, now you both learned your lessons and trying to move on.

So there you have it, we know breakups are painful, and they aren’t anybody fault. After all, our ex-partners are in fact more like northern stars, directing us towards new people that will make us happy and be better partners to us in the future.


6 Simple and Easy Habits for a Happy Marriage

Being married or starting a new relationship isn’t difficult, but being committed and having the best intention for it is. A happily married couple have a deep love for each other, appreciate each other and are very committed to bringing out the best within themselves. Marriage is all about gratitude and appreciation of each other’s good habits, which brings the positive energy and this energy is the key for a happy and long-lasting union.

Here are six simple and small habits that you can work on for a happy marriage:

Greet Your Partner In The Morning With A Warm Smile

This is the simple one, yet we often forget it. We get up early, have our breakfast, get the kids ready for school, and drive to work. We hardly greet each other anymore. But just see how a simple and lovely smile can work wonders for your partner everytime you wake up. Always greet your partner in the morning with a warm smile and say that you are happy to his or her wife or husband or you can imagine your life without him or her. It's the small gestures, but its effects are endless.

Send Your Partner Romantic or Flirty Text Messages

Instead of texting your friends all day, use your smartphone to send your spouse romantic or flirty messages like, “Baby, I miss you every second”, or “I want to see you Tonight!!!”, whenever you feel like to do.

Hugging Your Partner Brings Them Closer

It's so beautiful to see how couples come close to each other if they touch and feel each other. When your partner comes home from work, shopping or some other place, hug your partner closely, feel your partner's hair, hands or legs. The perfect time to do it when you guys are having lunch or dinner or just laying in the bed watching TV. Now, see the magic unfold itself.

Appreciate Your Partner Every Day

Most marriages lose their lustre because partners don’t compliment each other on how they feel or look. The relationship becomes void of any commitment and love. To bring back fire back in your marriage, be thankful to your partner for everything they do. It doesn’t matter if your husband cleaned the bedroom or took the children to the school or your wife made you a great cup of coffee. These small, yet powerful gestures make them feel appreciated, and they try to do those things more often and better. Plus, don’t forget to compliment each other appearances and looks, when you both go on dates or hang out.

Express Your Feelings While Being Vulnerable

There are times when couples express their needs; the request appears like an attack than a lovely gesture. For instance, if you become annoyed seeing your husband watching TV, don’t say, that he’s always watching TV and doesn’t want to spend time with me. This can be counterintuitive and won’t do anything except hurt your partner’s feelings. Instead, express what you want and feelings and say that you want to spend more time the night with him or want to be by his side all night. The key is always express your feelings by being vulnerable.

Feeling Your Partner’s Breath

It may sound a bit weird at first, but nonetheless, it's very effective to show affection to your spouse. Hugging and feeling your partner breath, and looking at each other's eyes is a powerful way to get intimate with each other. Sometimes you probably won’t feel being affectionate or showing appreciation, or in a bad mood. But give it a try anyway.

So, there you have it. You may not like them all, but if you give it a try, you can be assured that they will spice up your marriage and make it even happier.


5 Signs That Your Partner Might Cheating On You

It’s been a while that you’ve suspected something is not right with your husband’s behavior lately, but now its appears that your suspicions are correct after all. You husband has been cheating on you. We stay in a world where we always have to meet and socialize with new people, and unknowingly, we might get involved in an affair. This can be a huge blow to our relationships and our marriages, some of which can lead to a breakup.

Below are five signs that may indicate that your husband may be having an affair:

Noticeable Changes In Appearance

If you think your husband is cheating, you will notice a drastic change in his looks and appearance. You will see your partner dressed differently than usual when going for work, has a new haircut, or putting on a new cologne, and even going to the gym a lot. All this points that he’s trying to impress a new lady or a coworker. This is all too common for people who are having affairs as they want to look good and confident for their new significant other. So, if you see your husband, who has been couch-potato all day, suddenly looking dapper, now you know, he isn’t doing it for you.

There Is A Dramatic Change in Attitude Towards You

If your husband is unfaithful with you, he will give out excuses like he is very stressed out or exhausted, when you ask him to spend some time with you. People who are having affairs feel guilty about it, so they avoid having any thoughtful discussions that will make him or her suspicious of them being unfaithful. Gradually, you will see him ill-tempered most of the time and his attitude towards you will change dramatically. Your partner will certainly start arguing and not be entirely honest with you if your start asking him whether he is having an affair. For instance, if you start to ask your husband about it, he will probably reply, “Shut up,” or “I’m not cheating, why would I.”

He Has More or Less Sex

This is a little tricky. It can mean your husband isn’t interested in having sex with you anymore or he satisfies his sexual needs with the other woman. It’s also been reported some men become more active sexually if they are having an affair and has more sex with their wives. So, check out for that.

You Find Your Husband Hard To Reach

If you find husband's phone is switched off or busy or gives all kind of excuses for coming home late or going to work soon, it is an indication that he’s trying to avoid you. It appears that your husband is never around when you see him, or just spend time with him. It can be that your partner is spending too much time with the other lady, that he’s tired to do the same with you. All these can be indicating that he might be having an affair.

Trust Your Intuition

If you discover that your husband is behaving or talking differently, or hiding something, then trust your instincts that something is wrong. Your intuition will help you find out if your husband is involved with another lady or not. But, if you have a history of being paranoid, then you can be wrong, and the result can devastate you badly – physically, mentally and emotionally.

There are many upsetting reports which claim how infidelity has helped couples to mend their marriages or improve their relationships but remember that once trust is broken, it's very hard to fix. The truth is the mental and emotional toll are so painful; most people tend to stay in the relationship instead of breaking apart.


4 Intuitive Ways to Help You Move On After a Breakup

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Breakups are messy and painful, even if you want to end the relationship. They are upsetting for both persons in a relationship, whereas most people say breakup are harder for the one who got dumped. That’s not true as the person who ended the relationship has seriously hurt the feelings of someone else. It's common sense; we have to move on after a breakup just like everything else in life. Most people say to move on from a breakup; you should begin a new relationship. Well, that’s counterintuitive and doesn’t help most people.

So, whether you wanted this relationship to end or simply lost interest in it, here are four simple and effective ways you can follow to help you move on.

Take a break from your Exes-friends

One of the counterintuitive things most people do after a break up is spending time with people who are friends of your ex-partner. It may be tempting, but it’s going to hurt you when someone from the group shares about the details your ex is doing lately. This will not help you move on. So, take a few months hiatus from your friends and this will make your life simpler and stress-free.

Focus on your profession

When you’re in a warm and stable relationship, usually you aren’t very focused on meeting a deadline, finding a new job, or get a promotion, or learning anything to enhance your professional skills. Now, you have newly single again; you can now channel all your positive energy into something that will improve your life. Think about what do to make your happier professionally and write instructions how to achieve it and follow it to take your career to the next level.

Reunite with a family member or an old friend

Breakups are awful, and you can feel upset and lost after the event. Things get more upsetting when you realize that your ex-lover has also become your best friend, even if the relationship was already halfway through. Now, that you can’t rely on care and support from your ex, non-romantic relationships can help you significantly to move on and appreciate the little things in life. Consider reaching out to all the friends and call one of them just to say “hello.” Also, don’t forget to call your family members too. Being connected to someone who cares about will help not to feel lonely and reestablish the bonds long lost over the years.

Work on a momentous home project

Take on a momentous project you could do at your home that will help you move on and start your life afresh. After breaking up, consider changing the look of your home. Begin by painting some walls, rearrange all your furniture or books, or plant some new flowers. If you didn't organize your closet for a while, now it’s the perfect time to do it. Dig through your closets and get rid of all the clothes and other stuff you haven’t worn or used for a while. Plant some new plants and make space for a table and some chairs, if you have a garden. The main purpose here is to seek a fresh beginning emotionally by making a fresh start in your physical surroundings.

Breakups are painful, and none of the above advice suggests you move on and begin a new relationship. Rather this will help you focus on other parts of your life and restoring balance which is the key to healing and moving on at the demise of a relationship.


Why Rejection Isn’t Always Your Fault

egg-583163_960_720When you are in a relationship, there is always a possibility that the relationship can end at any point. If that happens, your feelings get crushed, a sense of despair and disbelief sets in, and many questions keep popping up in your mind like, “why did this happen?” or “Is it because of me?” The same thing can happen with the person you like to have a relationship but he/she isn’t interested in you. It can happen to anyone, and if that happens, the rejection can be devastating at an emotional level. If remained unchecked, it can create barriers that will make it harder for you to find lasting happiness and true love in the future.

So, when you find someone attractive and start a relationship, and it ends abruptly, it’s necessary to develop a positive perspective about what has just occurred, instead of blaming yourself for it. Here are three scenarios that can help you to cope:

Sticks to the Facts

Instead of coming up with self-deprecating opinions such as, “I am not worthy of love,” or “Nobody likes me ‘coz I am not pretty,” or “I will never find love again,” try to understand the facts why this relationship has ended. These self-condemnation type messages are not only untrue; they can also be very distressful to you, even worse than the pain of ending the relationship with the person you once loved. In fact, if you are more upset about yourself than the person you broke up with, then perhaps it’s time that to seek help from a therapist so that you can redeem your self-esteem and gain a positive perception of love.

Accept the Fact That Your Relationship Has Ran Its Course

When a breakup happens, it just happened because there wasn’t any love in it. There is no reason to conclude that the relationship ended because there was something wrong with you or your partner, or you both lacked commitment in the relationship. This usually happens at the early stages of a relationship, and it’s better to discover it while you are still getting to know each other before you take a big decision like being in a long-term relationship or even worse getting married. So we advise that couples shouldn’t commit themselves to a long-term relationship within a few weeks of falling in love, as the infatuation may dissipate quickly.

Breakups Happen Due to Mismatch of Expectations

Typically, relationships end because one partner has found that something isn’t in sync with his or her expectations about the future with the other partner. All of us have dreams and expectations, and we want to realize them when we embark in a long term relationship and sometimes things always don’t work out in the end. When that takes place, it doesn’t mean you are inadequate or lack something; it only means that you and your partner don’t have the right ingredients for a lasting relationship.

So, now you know that when someone decides to end a relationship or don’t want to have one with you, in the beginning, don’t get hurt as this isn’t all about you.


How Long Do You Need To Wait For a Date?

woman-789146_960_720Great dates are fantastic to boost your confidence level and can lead to a great relationship. But don’t get frustrated if you can’t manage to find a date even after looking for a while. It’s perfectly ok to get upset if you haven’t found the one you like or even if you have been on a few dates you didn’t get along with. Well, you need to know that there isn’t any particular dating limit you should adhere to before you deciding to quit.

If you’re feeling disheartened with the dismal success in the dating scene, here we have some amazing tips to make feel confident while embarking in the online dating world.

After 2 Weeks

You opened an account on a dating website, and two weeks have gone by, and you still haven’t got any contacts willing to be your potential dates. Don’t get upset. Remember, you just started! Set aside a little more time so that you can explore more awesome people on the site. You can search people in your area — whether it’s by age, occupation, interests, hobbies or even favorite movies. With some great profiles, we’re pretty convinced that you’ll eventually meet someone you’ll like to go on a date. Plus, if you have spotted a few people who are interested, why not send them a wink or a quick email? Who knows, they might have noticed you and liked you also!

After A Month

So, a month or more has passed, and you are still dateless. Don’t get discouraged and this can happen on online dating sites. Take steps how you can improve the chances of getting noticed at first. Start by updating your profile, check if you have any empty or half-filled section, and add some new photos. You can also update your dating headline with a new personal ad, and update your interest and hobbies section by adding a variety of interesting and funny stuffs. Spare some time to do this and try to make your profile stand out from the rest that will grab the attention of those with similar interests.

After 3 Months

By this time, you should have a plenty of dates or none at all; it might be that your profile hasn't been seen by the people you want to date. Instead, of being sad, there are two things you can do to get this fixed. Ask a friend to check your profile description, ask him if you have missed any good qualities of yours, or if there is a lack of interesting and funny things people are interested at. Besides, also check if you have highlighted the points that are attracting people you don’t like to date, instead of those you like to!

After 6 Months

We will say it again; no one has set a time limit for finding the perfect date. You probably have heard, you will find love at the place you least expected in. So, get your spirits flying again. Try expanding your target areas a little, search for someone in a nearby town and it also time to update your profile once again. Maybe the new job you are doing or the new dog you got, or the funny joke you posted will be liked by someone.

Most of all, keep in mind that there is definitely someone out there who’s willing to go on a date with you, and when you find him or her, you will see that the wait has been worthwhile all along.


When to Introduce Your New Partner to Your Children

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Dating while being a parent and single isn’t easy. For most people, it’s like living a double life. The more you involved in your kids’ lives, the more important it becomes to tell them all the nitty-gritty details of your dating life. That is when you have found someone worthy of introducing to your children. As like all other things, accepting change or new things is hard at first, so you should find a way and the right time to introduce you new partner into your children’s lives.

If you don’t know how, these are three steps to find out when and how to introduce your new potential partner to your children in a comfortable way.

Be Cautious and Keep Things Slow At First

It doesn’t matter how your previous marriage or relationship ended; children need time to adjust if there is the change in their family dynamics. They need time to process the upheaval before they develop an attachment to a new person. All their lives your kids have been habituated of living with parents at home. As you get involved romantically with someone, at first keep things separate from your children. Don’t let know all the details, just the final decision. Start by mentioning to your kids that you will only date when you feel ready. Ask them to tell you their feelings about you starting a new relationship, answer their questions and listen to their concerns. However, before actually making introductions, psychologists recommend waiting.

Know When to Introduce

Only introduce your new partner to your kids only when you’re serious about him or her, and both partners have agreed to start a relationship. Tell your kids that you have met someone “nice” and you “like” him and her. Ask your children to tell you how they feel about the new person, and again make an effort to respond to their questions and assure them about their concerns. Tell your kids that if all go well, you would like them to meet and get to know that person too.

Consider Your Ex-Spouse

Most marriage and family therapists agree that it’s wise to inform your ex-spouse if you are dating and want to introduce your new partner to the kids, especially if there is a shared custody agreement. This will prevent the kids from becoming “informants” on either side. Your former partner has every right to know to whom the children are being exposed to, and don’t want them to be witness to any overnight changes for a while.

Know How to Introduce

Before you introduce your new partner to your kids, find a way to get everyone involved. Activities like bowling, kayaking, a trip to the zoo, a family cooking class or a reunion are great examples. However, keep your activities short and check on your child or children how are they feeling, listen to them and cater to their needs. Remember, it’s your time and care that your kids mostly need.

Getting involved in a relationship while being a parent can be quite confusing and daunting at the beginning, as the children feel they are being left out. However, these steps will help you maintain a healthy transition between your new love life and your kids.


Why Confidence Is Important For Online Dating

When it comes to building a strong bond in a relationship, communication is the key. But having excellent communication skills isn’t enough, if you want to stand out from the rest, especially in the online dating scene, you need to have confidence. Confidence is attractive and being confident in your communication skills to secure a date with a potential partner is the real key.

Here are a few top tips to lift your self-esteem to newer heights:

Always Think Positively

If you had a great day at work, then don’t forget to add those great “potential qualities” to your online dating profile. If you had a successful week at the office or had a great weekend with your friends, message it you all your potential matches. You attract what you are, so if you are full of happiness and positive energy, so it to the world. Happiness is a great attractive trait, and everyone wants to date someone who is active and happy.

Give Your Potential Matches Something to Talk

Take a good look at your profile pictures and figure out if you have portrayed something or activity that’s attractive to your potential matches. Online dating is tricky because you have put yourself out there with a bunch of strangers all looking to find their potential dates or partners. These potential partners may or may not have much in common with you. So, if you want to attract someone, put something interesting to talk about what you’re doing in your profile pictures.

Be Interested—Just Interesting Isn’t Enough

If a potential partner is interested in your profile and the things you do, he or she might be interested in talking to you. They might have lots of questions; this may sound intriguing, but it’s also important to self-check if you are interested in them too. If you aren’t asking questions about them, it’s easy to see that you aren’t very interested.

Getting Ready For a Date

It’s understandable that you need to know all about your potential dates before meeting them face-to-face for the first time. But don’t chat with your dates excessively. As soon as the opportunity to meet an actual date arises, don’t hesitate, and get ready for it. Although, chatting helps to boost your confidence and theirs, and get to know the person slightly better. Meeting enables you to see if you both are a great match or not. Besides, meeting in person is where real sparks fly and chemistry takes place between two people.

Build Affinity Before a Date

If you have come across a potential match and found a common interest or two, express it soon, and suggest them you want to hear more about when you go for a date. Your match will feel relaxed, and you will have enough to talk about it confidently in the first meeting. This will build up momentum and can turn your date into a serious relationship.

We all understand that we get what attract, so once set all our negative vibes aside and try dating online, we will able to express ourselves more positively and confidently about our personalities. Hopefully, this will make our quest to find the perfect someone easier and solve the equation of our love lives.


Don’t Feel Guilty of Dating If You’re A Single Parent

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You are a parent; you love your kids, but you seem to hate the idea of dating with kids. If you feel guilty of leaving your kids, so you can go on a date with someone or fear of rejection because of your single-parent status. It's all too common for most single parents out there considering re-entering the dating world. But the question is why should you feel guilty about it?

According to marriage and family therapist Dr. Sheri Meyers, dating does not make you a bad parents. Dating helps you to find your happiness and not to depend too much on your children for it. Besides, dating also takes away the pressure from your kids to please and reminds that your happiness is your responsibility. In no way does dating mean that you’re neglecting your child, it’s all about maintaining balance. Dr. Meyers, who is also the author of the book, “Chatting or Cheating,” also said dating shouldn’t replace the quality time you spend with your children. Instead, it will help define and individualize you as a single person with the kids in the world.

Founder of Dating with Dignity, Marni Battista, thinks it’s just an excuse people with children say because they’re afraid to date. She says after ending a long-term relationship, single parents often believe that they don’t have the courage and know how to date anymore. So, she suggested in starting slow and getting involved in activities where many parents or groups get together will help in meeting new potential partners. Then, there is online dating, which is a great way to get you back in the dating scene.

Another common fear most single parents have is, a child is often considered a “baggage,” when it comes to dating. They think that people aren’t willing to date someone with a child. So, instead of baggage, think yourself of having a package deal instead, according to Dr. Meyers.

Keep in mind that you are thinking to date or start a relationship with kids. The person you choose will also affect your kids. So, choose someone who is ok with you being a parent, likes children and even better who already has children. Don’t risk to date or have a relationship with someone who might not be open or honest to date people with kids.

Meanwhile, Battista says it is important to demonstrate to children that you can’t have a healthy relationship without good communication, respecting each other boundaries and appreciating one’s self-worth. Also, you should also let them know, there is already a new person in their lives, and that neither mom nor dad isn’t going to replace the parent they already have.

However, family counselors and experts advise that if you want to introduce your new partner to your children, wait until you know the relationship is serious. They also agree to be selective about whom to allow your kids to meet and get attached to. And if that doesn’t work as planned, then it's good to end the relationship before it gets to the phase where it becomes emotionally difficult for both of you to do it.

To wrap up, remember that both you and your children will immensely benefit from dating, because when parents are happy, the children are happier too.