All posts by Dating Guru

10 Ways to Deal with Your Partner Who Is Losing Interest in You

couple-1210023_960_720Two people come together for many reasons; it may be physical attraction, emotional connection, similar interests and so on. The closer and intimate you and your partner got together over the weeks and months, both of you came to know each other better, and there was a positive vibe everywhere. But, now you have found for some reason your significant other has started losing interest in you. The person whom you are in so much love with has been distancing himself/herself from the relationship or looking for something different. If you still figuring out on how to deal with this then start here:

1. Don’t be a mind reader. Refrain yourself from trying to figure out every little gesture or comment to find out your partner’s interest level in you. No matter how hard you try, you can never know what’s going on a person’s mind. Period.

2. Consider this as a temporary confusion phase. Emotions are unpredictable. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There is the chance your partner is losing interest because he or she confused about the relationship and is trying to evaluate his feelings and his future with you.

3. Reignite your relationship. Most couples complained they lost their interest in each other because the relationship has become dull and predictable. So, try to reinvigorate your relationship and try to find ways to make it exciting and bring new sparks in your romance like before.

4. Don’t overreact. If a partner feels he or she is being neglected, they feel vulnerable and insecure. This is when emotional outbursts are common making the situation even worse.

5. Don’t become extremely responsible. Don’t come to the conclusion that the reason your partner is losing interest is you. It’s has nothing to do with you. So, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” the situation.

6. Give Your Partner Some Space. Don’t get very consumed about the situation. Give your partner some space. I won’t be amazed if your partner has regained interest in you after some time.

7. Ask straight questions. Instead of understanding what’s going on, ask your partner direct questions if you think someone is losing interest. Make it clear you demand an honest answer.

8. Control how you respond. Be honorable in how you react. Don’t break any boundaries, and don’t hesitate to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner.

9. Never Underestimate your worth. Your partner losing interest has nothing to do with you and your worth. The value you hold as an individual isn’t diminished one bit just because a person has decided to break up with you.

10. Move on. You are the architect of your future. It’s you to decide what best for you and your future. So, if you partner is losing interest in you, then the best possible action would be to end the relationship and move on.

Relationships evolve and change over time. So, you can spot them other can’t. These indications will surely help those folk to find out if their partner is losing interest in them and find out way on how to resolve them.


How to Know When to Break Up Relationship

sadnessLet’s admit it: breaking up sucks!

You have been in a relationship for a few months or even years—but now you feel the relationship has lost steam lately. Now, questions keep popping up in your mind like, “Do I want to be in this relationship?” or “Do I need to break up to be happy?” The fact is, breaking up isn’t easy and factors that go into making this decision aren’t always black and white.

According to Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage and couples therapist says only 5 percent of couples end their relationship with a 100 percent conviction, while the rest have reached their decisions after struggling for months and even years. Most these couples or looking for a cause or want to their partners to call it off. Some couples are waiting for something very atrocious like cheating to happen, in which there aren’t any option isn’t left but ending the relationship for good.

If you think that there is no future in the relationship, then perhaps it’s best to break up. Here are five factors that will let you know if it’s time to end the relationship.

You Prefer To Be Alone

There are sometimes when all you want to be alone instead of being with your partner. Well, it’s perfectly reasonable if this happens once a while. We all want some space in our lives. But if you feel like this most of the time, and make excuses to be away from your partner, or makes plans on purpose, then it’s a problem. If you feel that you’re totally fine and don’t want to spend time with your partner, then you should consider breaking up.

You Feel Unhappy When You’re With Your Partner

If you think you aren’t happy like before and spend too much time complaining to your friends and others about your spouse, then time have come for you to move on. Remember, it’s not your partner's responsibility to make you happy, but being together in a relationship should make you happy.

You Aren’t Having Fun

If you and your partner are always arguing and fighting even over trivial matters all the time, then it’s a clear indication that you two need to break up. A relationship can’t blossom on arguing with your partner. It can only flourish and advance if both of you are having fun (like going to parties or concerts) and enjoying each other’s company.

You’ve felt this in Other Relationships

If you think you have been falling for the wrong person again and again, and breaking up for this, then you should consider taking therapy. Therapy will help you in identifying relational pattern problems and using those patterns to stay or end a relationship. If you see that this pattern isn’t good for your well-being or your life, then you can end a relationship.

You Can’t Forget the little or Big Things
In the beginning, you tolerated that your partner leaves their clothes all over the place, or drinks too much, thinking that they would change as the relationship advances. But over time, if you find that you are unable or tolerate certain behaviors, and going to resent them, then it's time to end the relationship.

There is some truth to the saying that some relationships are worth holding onto. We aren’t denying that and always say communication is the key when it comes to salvaging troubled relationships. When that doesn’t bear any results, then breaking up is the only option.


Breakups Aren’t That Hard You Think

beach-1846233_960_720We all can agree on one thing: Breakups are painful. A study has found that people who recently had breakups when looking at pictures of their ex-partners have the same brain activity as those who are in physical pain. Ending a relationship with a partner is more like losing a close friend. They have known you better than anyone else; you have both shared and enjoyed wonderful feelings and emotions, and memorable experiences with them.

Now, that you are ending things with him/her makes you very upset and lost. What’s even worse is that you can no longer call that person for comfort and support if you’re going through a bad time.

No matter how gut-wrenching these breakups feel, researchers say that breakups might be easier than you think and newly single people will move on sooner than they think. This is according to Dr. Paul Eastwick, who conducted a questionnaire survey of students who are in a relationship for at least two weeks. In the survey, the participants indicated how much in love were they with their partners and how sad would they feel if they ended the relationship.

Every other week the participants would receive new questionnaires and each time they were asked if they were still with their partners. Students who broke up in the meantime had their distress levels measured in a specially designed assessment system. For example, the participants were asked how much they agreed with statements like, “I’m pretty happy these days,” and “I’m very upset that my relationship ended.”

The researchers concluded that the students who said that they were in love with their boyfriends or girlfriends at the beginning of the experiment weren’t good at predicting how distressed they would be after the breakup. But later they found that it was much easier to deal with the breakup than they thought it would be.

Many of us assume that breakups are harder on the victim, rather on the person who initiated to end things, but that’s not the case. Dr. Eastwick’s research has found that participants who decided to end the relationship also felt as bad as those who didn’t. The main difference was, the people who ended the relationship predicted their recovery time accurately, while the victims of the breakup thought they would worse off than they were. However, all of the participants agreed on one thing that the pain of the breakup will gradually reduce in time, and they were correct. All this point that it’s true that breakups are painful but recovering from this unfortunate event isn’t as hard and takes less time which most people didn’t anticipate.

The bottom line is knowing when to breakup is as important as deciding when to get involved in a relationship. There isn’t any relationship that didn’t go hard times and breaking up is just a part of the deal. After all, there is hardly any point in wasting time on something that’s won’t make us happy or feel worthy in our life.


4 Unrealistic Expectations People Have About Dating

The fact is many relationships end because one or both persons in a couple failed to realize their expectations or have unrealistic ones, to begin with. So, what happens when couples in a relationship don’t get their expectations met? They become unhappy and think of a breakup. Therefore, it’s wise to know what to expect in a relationship before you be in one.

Here are four unrealistic expectations men and women have in a relationship and which are also responsible for its demise as well.

Being in a Relationship Will Make Me Happy

Believing that you will be happy and complete in you’re in a beautiful relationship is an overstatement on your part and edging towards fantasy. It’s totally understandable of your belief that if you be in a meaningful and loving relationship and provide you what you’ve been missing, but it doesn’t always work that way. It’s your responsibility to find ways on how to be happy; being in a relationship is just a part of it.

My Partner Will Spend Most of Their Free Time with Me

The idea of couples doing everything and spending time together may sound very appealing, but this riding on this expectation all the time will make you frustrated later. When you start a relationship, if find your partner little dependent on you, it makes sense that he or she would like to spend more time with your or wake up beside you every day. But remember, that your new partner needs some space and would like to socialize with their friends and family or by their own without their special someone present. Remember, being open to this is the key to long-lasting marriages.

My Partner Won’t Flirt With Anyone

You have to accept the truth that your partner will be attracted to other people besides you and when you aren’t there. So, what about flirting? Do you think that your partner will stop flirting when you are in a relationship? The answer is sad, “no”. But you can set some rules, like tell your partner not to flirt with anyone when you’re present, but also that won’t be able to tell them to stop when you aren’t in front it. In reality, a lot of men and women will flirt anyhow, if you aren’t there.

I Am Going To Have a Lot of Physical Affection in the relationship

Physical affection comes in two types, sexual affection and physical affection, itself. If your partner is very intimate, you will have a very sexual relationship, but most couples aren’t fully into it. If sexual affection is your thing, make sure your partner agrees with it. Regarding physical affection, most men and women aren’t very affectionate, mostly hold hands, kiss or hug now and then. Remember, it’s not their personality. So, if these things are a priority to you, tell your potential partners about it from the start.

The takeaway here is having unrealistic expectations are counterintuitive for a good relationship. When you start going on dates, tell your partner about your expectations and what you want exactly from the relationship from the beginning.


How to Know For Sure That Your Partner Is Cheating

There is nothing more painful than finding out your partner has been cheating on you behind your back. According to a study, it’s been reported that 50 percent of men and 85 percent of women were proven right about the suspecting that their better halves have been unfaithful to them. Sometimes the signs that your partner has been cheating on you are clear in front of you. But, the allegations are dismissed because the signs are very subtle or your partner has denied them.

So, here are some signs that you can easily spot if your partner has been cheating on you, or in case you have been missing them.

  • This one is a classic. You will find hairs, lipstick marks or traces of makeup on his clothes, and on car seats.
  • You will find a sudden change in the way your partner looks. He changed his haircut, wearing new perfumes or colognes, and new clothes. You will also notice your partner going to the gym more often, started eating more healthy and brimming with confidence.
  • People who are cheating don’t want to know their new partners that they are married, so they remove their wedding rings.
  • People who are having affairs will change their usual work and home schedules, without any apparent cause. They are hard to reach over the phone, their partners see them less, they are being late at work, or doing overtimes.
  • They have no interest in family affairs, and even if they did, they are somewhat indifferent or pay little or no attention.
  • People, who are cheating on their spouse, often feel guilty that they are betraying their partner's trust. So, they seem to show more affection to their wives or husbands more than usual, treating them very nicely, taking them to dinners and buying them gifts.
  • Suddenly, they are asking to be more social, encouraging you to go outside, make new friends, and socialize with your family members and friends. Before, they didn’t even ask you, let alone encourage you.
  • They are not interested or reluctant to have sex with their partners and even if they did they appear not seeming to enjoy it.
  • You will find condoms or birth control pills in their car dashboards, purses or pockets. Besides, in some cases, they will have them both.
  • You find your partner feeling uncomfortable looking you in the eyes, don’t want to around you or spend time with you. They feel guilty of what they are doing, so they don’t to have a conversation with you, in case you ask them what’s wrong. Besides, they avoid to attending social events like weddings, dinner parties, etc. for the same reasons.
  • A cheating partner will have a new phone hidden from you. Even if they use the same phone, they will change the password or use a complex password one, so that you can access it when they are away. If you partner is cheating you will notice he/she receive calls or text message from unknown persons, but they will avoid answering the call in front of you. They also keep clearing their call and text history more often. You will also notice they will have a have new email account if you dig deeper.

So, there you have it, a few signs that will help to find out if your partner is cheating. However, remember, these indications are just assumptions, not absolutes.


6 Online Dating Mistakes You Should Avoid

So, you decided to try online dating to meet someone. That’s a good step — forward-thinking and proactive. But there some things you should be careful about otherwise it may turn into habits and counterintuitive for your online dating experience.

Here are six tips to keep in mind as your scan through the never ending the stream of profile you’re your potential suitors.

Pictures Isn’t Everything

In online dating, it’s common for most singles to nitpick and maintain high expectations. But, remember pictures aren’t everything and don't say much about a person. Things like, “She’s pretty, but I like blondes,” if you are that kind of person, stop it. You’ll never find a person to date this way. If you want to project yourself as a mature and empathetic person, then opt for a want a real connection and a relationship with a person whom you love and in turn love you.

Don't Obsess With the Details

Don’t worry about the specifics like, which bars, food, restaurants, books or movies he or she likes. Instead, broaden your horizon and look for particulars like does she lives in the same city? Is he a reader? Does she seem funny? Don’t get consumed with the notion that there is someone out there who will match exactly to all your preferences and taste.

Evaluate the Profile for His or Her Attitude

This can be quite difficult, and you are trying to know the person and his or her attitude from a profile picture. Try reading between the lines and see if he or she’s pleasant, friendly and sincere. Also look closely for signs of bitterness, boastfulness, and insincerity. For example, if you see a person saying over and over again that a person is “very satisfied” with his or her life, or “absolutely love their lives,” then it appears the claims aren’t truly honest and exposes his or her vulnerabilities.

People Aren’t Honest About Their Personalities

Most people aren’t genuinely honest about who they are and explicitly lie about their personalities or true motives. For Instance, “I’ m an optimistic person,” or “I have a sense of humor,” means nothing as people are very unreliable self-reporters. People can lie about actual values like age, job, location or education when it comes to less tangible elements; people are simply delusive.

Don’t Get Attached Without a Real Meeting

It doesn’t matter if you have become an expert at reading people profile and passing judgments about how this girl or guy is the perfect match for you. The thing is looks can be deceiving and don’t even start a relationship without meeting him or her first in the real world. You can learn a lot of a person’s manners and demeanor, and things like how he smiles, the tone of her voice and whether he makes eye contact while talking and so on. You don’t get to see this from his or her’s online dating profile.

Don’t Start a Relationship after Two Dates

You shouldn’t do this offline too, but the temptation to do this greater in the online dating arena. Sometimes we become so tired of dating that we just get over it, and rush ourselves into the next thing, the relationship. But getting too soon in a relationship can counterintuitive and can scare your potential partner.

Being in a relationship isn’t all that simple and finding “the one,” can be hard. But finding and getting to know another person takes time and patience.


3 Questions You Need To ask Yourself about Potential Partner

So, you decided to go on a date and hopefully to be a new relationship if you have met your potential partner. But, you are always wondering, how you would know if he or she is the person you wanted to have a relationship. Well, a lot of elements are involved, if a relationship needs to last and advance. But the first things are pretty basic, simple and fun stuff. Things like, “Are they attracted to you?”, or “Do you like to talk with them?”, “Do they like the same things I like?”

But, when you are thinking of choosing the right partner for you, then you have to dig a little deeper. So, here are three things that you ask yourself about your potential spouse.

How does this person make me feel?

Falling in love is a beautiful feeling, and you feel lucky to be with your partner. Just the feeling that someone likes you is very exciting and intoxicating. But, the person you’re dating might not have the same feelings towards you. People’s emotions are hard to understand, they make you feel happy, smart, confident, but the real motives get exposed after you have dated the person for a while. He or she might not be that into, and they will always find excuses to avoid you or not to spend time with you. If you feel that he or she isn’t interested in you anymore and you seem to be unhappy being with them, then this person isn’t making you feel good about yourself. In this situation, instead of trying their approval, the best thing you can do it break up or end the relationship.

How does the person you’re dating treat other people?

When people start to date or if a relationship is in its early days, people try to bring their A game — they talk nice, they listen attentively, compliment you all the time and make you feel important. Besides, all check out how your new date treats other people like the taxi driver, the waiter, or the cashier or your friends. See if the person pleasant or stubborn or if he or she has good etiquettes. In short, find out if the person is genuinely a respectful and a kind person or if they are just pretending to be good, so will like them.

Do You Think This Peron is Trustworthy?

This question is hard to explain. Whether a person is trustworthy or not can't be answered just by looking into his or her habits or how they live their lives. It’s all about instincts. Don’t doubt your intuition and if your guts say that you can trust this person, then go for it.

So, that’s it, the three things that you need to ask yourself about your potential partner. It’s ok to criticize if all these sounds pretty basic, but in our culture where we have gotten habituated to evaluate a person by his or her physical looks, career, money, and family name— we care less about simple qualities like kindness and respect. But, it’s these qualities that matter the most in a relationship.


7 Tips on How to Be a Great Kisser

A kiss is a symbol of affection and one will kiss you unless people find you attractive physically and emotionally. Having a date with a beautiful girl is a dream all men have, but not all guys are confident enough to get a kiss from their dates. They become shy and nervous when they try to kiss their girl for the first time as they think what she will think of them.

So, to help you out, here are seven tips on how to be a great kisser.

Check your breath for bad odor. This is the most important step on becoming a better kisser. No girl wants to kiss a guy with a bad mouth odor. To keep your breath from smelling bad, stay away from eating spicy foods, garlic, onions, and anything that has a strong smell. You can also include cigarettes and cigars too. Use a mouth freshener or mint chewing gums to make your breath fresh.

Always close your eyes while kissing. Kissing while keeping your eyes shut allows your mind to focus and connect emotionally with the person you kissing. Besides, closing your eyes also allows you not to get distracted.

Don’t rush while kissing. Take your time and start slow at first. Kissing is a romantic gesture, unlike most things. Kissing is more exciting and pleasurable if both of you wait and build up the pressure. Then see the passionate kisses coming.

Don’t just kiss the lips. There are other places you can kiss as well. You can sometimes kiss his/her on the neck, cheeks, shoulders and the gently on the eyelids. But remember to ask what he/she likes to avoid any uncomfortable experiences. Instead of asking every time, use your instincts to find out what your date likes. You will know that you are doing it okay if he/she responds to it.

Use your hands. Another tip for being a good kisser is to use hands while kissing and how you take advantage of your hands will create a great impression on him or her. While kissing, pull your date closer to yourself, and place your hand on his or her neck, waist or run your finger through their hair.

Don’t get too intimate at first. You guys have just started dating, so it’s a bad idea if you start French kissing. Start gently and slow, and if you think the timing is okay, take the dive. French kissing is often taken as a sexual gesture, so some people might get offended and end the moment if you have taken it too far.

Put a little pressure. Applying a little pressure on the lips will help you both closer together, but don’t put too much pressure as it will hurt. Lips are highly sensitive to pain, anything more than acceptable will be uncomfortable for both if you and will take the romance away.

Scientists has discovered that kissing is more that the lips of two people pressing against one another. Most people have found that they can remember their first kiss better than the moment they lost their virginity. It’s a highly emotional act than anything else, and a good kiss will lead to a better relationship and beyond.


8 Top Signs You Should Not Marry Him

You think you love your man. You both have been in a relationship; now you have decided to get married. You believe your man wants to get married. He says all and does all the right things, yet you begin to find that there is no match between his words and actions. You boyfriend tells that he respects you, but most of the time dismisses your opinions.

Now, you begin to doubt that if this is the man you want to marry! Some women say they can change their boyfriends after getting married, but the truth is personalities cannot be changed. Here are eight behavioral traits you cannot change or fix in a man:

1. You find him to be very controlling. He wants to be a boss in every situation like if you want to a park, he will insist on going to a restaurant. This clearly proves that he wants to have complete control of your relationship, but a real loving relationship doesn’t have that.

2. He has a condescending demeanor, and it drives you mad. He always makes the final say in all matters. There is no hierarchy in a loving relationship. His opinions and attitudes cannot be better than yours.

3. You find him to be narcissistic. People who are narcissistic believe that they are better and superior to you and have little to no regard for other people’s feelings. If you find your future husband is narcissistic, it better to end the relationship right away. Simple as that.

4. He supports bullying attitudes. Everyone hates a bully. But, the truth is bullying is also present in relationships and marriages. He will push you around and will always control and won’t let be out from his shadow. If that’s the case, it’s time to breakup with him.

5. He is manipulative. He treats you like his puppet. He always attempts to manipulate your feelings, actions, behaviors, and even your future aspirations. This is one precarious form of control. You don’t want that kind of person to be your future husband.

6. He never keeps his promises. He promised you a birthday present; he didn’t deliver it. He told to take you to a romantic dinner; he didn’t. The thing is your man has promised a lot of stuff to do, but in the end, he has a hard time honoring them.

7. You find that your boyfriend cannot be trusted. The key for a loving and long-lasting marriage is TRUST. Marriage will only survive through all good and bad times, only if both people in a relationship trust one another completely. If you don’t find your boyfriend doesn’t seem trustworthy to you, leave the relationship right away.

8. He has trouble with his finances. Because one of the primary reasons for divorces is related to financial woes, it’s important for you to marry someone who is responsible with his finances and doesn’t have any massive outstanding debts. Some signs are he’s out of work most of the time, he gambles, and buy stuff he doesn’t need or use, or you pay the bills most of the time.

So, there you have it, these eight behavioral characteristics are very real and define a person. Actions are related to personality, and you cannot change people’s personalities. Taking heed of these behavioral characteristics could save you from a marriage that is full of distress, unhappiness, and even danger.


Forgiving Your Ex is Important to Move on after a Breakup

Where there are relationships, there will be breakups. Every day many men and women decide to let go of the relationships that weren’t ideal for them. How well their next relationship will end depends on what will these newly single men and women tell themselves about their previous relationships and their exes. A crucial step to moving on after a breakup is forgiving their ex-partners and not being angry at what they did or said that led the relationship to end. If you don’t let go of the anger and forgive, you will find it difficult to move on.

These four steps that will help you in the process of forgiving your ex and let go of your anger:

Be Sure You Clearly Understand What Angered You Most About Your Ex

Of the emotions, anger is by far the most underrated. Most people are afraid of their angriness, and scared those if they are upset; it will cause them to lose control emotionally and will lead people to think that they are “mentally imbalanced,” or “crazy.” However, anger comes naturally from within us and automatically with any relationship, even in the best ones. After breaking up, take hold of your anger and recall why did your former partner do that made your angry the most? Or what things did he or she do that made me neglected, humiliated or betrayed?

Channel Your Anger into Words

Only thinking about your anger won’t help you enough in the healing process after a breakup. You have to channel all that anger into writing. Write down a few lines of the worse upsetting events with your ex in a journal and store in your closet. Writing about your thoughts is very effective because it helps to organize your feelings into small thought fragments that stick in your mind. Read what you wrote in your journal now and then, and the notes will act like an old friend consoling, supporting and assuring you if you start missing your ex. Or simply reminiscing the good and the bad times you had with your ex.

Find What Have You to Learn From Your Past Relationship

After a breakup, people often feel overwhelmed by the sense of loss, sadness, emptiness and failure. You should get rid of your anger and negative feelings by any means, so that you can move on and embark on a new relationship with a positive emotional outlook. To say goodbye to your anger and sad feelings after a breakup, focus all your mental energy to figure out what are you supposed to learn from the demise of your previous relationship. Once you understand that the relationship had to end, and then only you learned a valuable lesson. You will feel more confident towards your ex and won’t feel hard forgive him or her.

What Should You Tell People When Asked About Your Ex-Partner

When you have a breakup and start to move on, people will wonder what went wrong with your ex. Instead of bad-mouthing your anger, tell them, you both were solid at first, but then something went wrong, and you both tried the best to fix it. But then you both found out there is no future in this relationship. So, now you both learned your lessons and trying to move on.

So there you have it, we know breakups are painful, and they aren’t anybody fault. After all, our ex-partners are in fact more like northern stars, directing us towards new people that will make us happy and be better partners to us in the future.