All posts by Dating Guru

4 Unrealistic Expectations People Have About Dating

The fact is many relationships end because one or both persons in a couple failed to realize their expectations or have unrealistic ones, to begin with. So, what happens when couples in a relationship don’t get their expectations met? They become unhappy and think of a breakup. Therefore, it’s wise to know what to expect in a relationship before you be in one.

Here are four unrealistic expectations men and women have in a relationship and which are also responsible for its demise as well.

Being in a Relationship Will Make Me Happy

Believing that you will be happy and complete in you’re in a beautiful relationship is an overstatement on your part and edging towards fantasy. It’s totally understandable of your belief that if you be in a meaningful and loving relationship and provide you what you’ve been missing, but it doesn’t always work that way. It’s your responsibility to find ways on how to be happy; being in a relationship is just a part of it.

My Partner Will Spend Most of Their Free Time with Me

The idea of couples doing everything and spending time together may sound very appealing, but this riding on this expectation all the time will make you frustrated later. When you start a relationship, if find your partner little dependent on you, it makes sense that he or she would like to spend more time with your or wake up beside you every day. But remember, that your new partner needs some space and would like to socialize with their friends and family or by their own without their special someone present. Remember, being open to this is the key to long-lasting marriages.

My Partner Won’t Flirt With Anyone

You have to accept the truth that your partner will be attracted to other people besides you and when you aren’t there. So, what about flirting? Do you think that your partner will stop flirting when you are in a relationship? The answer is sad, “no”. But you can set some rules, like tell your partner not to flirt with anyone when you’re present, but also that won’t be able to tell them to stop when you aren’t in front it. In reality, a lot of men and women will flirt anyhow, if you aren’t there.

I Am Going To Have a Lot of Physical Affection in the relationship

Physical affection comes in two types, sexual affection and physical affection, itself. If your partner is very intimate, you will have a very sexual relationship, but most couples aren’t fully into it. If sexual affection is your thing, make sure your partner agrees with it. Regarding physical affection, most men and women aren’t very affectionate, mostly hold hands, kiss or hug now and then. Remember, it’s not their personality. So, if these things are a priority to you, tell your potential partners about it from the start.

The takeaway here is having unrealistic expectations are counterintuitive for a good relationship. When you start going on dates, tell your partner about your expectations and what you want exactly from the relationship from the beginning.


How to Know For Sure That Your Partner Is Cheating

There is nothing more painful than finding out your partner has been cheating on you behind your back. According to a study, it’s been reported that 50 percent of men and 85 percent of women were proven right about the suspecting that their better halves have been unfaithful to them. Sometimes the signs that your partner has been cheating on you are clear in front of you. But, the allegations are dismissed because the signs are very subtle or your partner has denied them.

So, here are some signs that you can easily spot if your partner has been cheating on you, or in case you have been missing them.

  • This one is a classic. You will find hairs, lipstick marks or traces of makeup on his clothes, and on car seats.
  • You will find a sudden change in the way your partner looks. He changed his haircut, wearing new perfumes or colognes, and new clothes. You will also notice your partner going to the gym more often, started eating more healthy and brimming with confidence.
  • People who are cheating don’t want to know their new partners that they are married, so they remove their wedding rings.
  • People who are having affairs will change their usual work and home schedules, without any apparent cause. They are hard to reach over the phone, their partners see them less, they are being late at work, or doing overtimes.
  • They have no interest in family affairs, and even if they did, they are somewhat indifferent or pay little or no attention.
  • People, who are cheating on their spouse, often feel guilty that they are betraying their partner's trust. So, they seem to show more affection to their wives or husbands more than usual, treating them very nicely, taking them to dinners and buying them gifts.
  • Suddenly, they are asking to be more social, encouraging you to go outside, make new friends, and socialize with your family members and friends. Before, they didn’t even ask you, let alone encourage you.
  • They are not interested or reluctant to have sex with their partners and even if they did they appear not seeming to enjoy it.
  • You will find condoms or birth control pills in their car dashboards, purses or pockets. Besides, in some cases, they will have them both.
  • You find your partner feeling uncomfortable looking you in the eyes, don’t want to around you or spend time with you. They feel guilty of what they are doing, so they don’t to have a conversation with you, in case you ask them what’s wrong. Besides, they avoid to attending social events like weddings, dinner parties, etc. for the same reasons.
  • A cheating partner will have a new phone hidden from you. Even if they use the same phone, they will change the password or use a complex password one, so that you can access it when they are away. If you partner is cheating you will notice he/she receive calls or text message from unknown persons, but they will avoid answering the call in front of you. They also keep clearing their call and text history more often. You will also notice they will have a have new email account if you dig deeper.

So, there you have it, a few signs that will help to find out if your partner is cheating. However, remember, these indications are just assumptions, not absolutes.


6 Online Dating Mistakes You Should Avoid

So, you decided to try online dating to meet someone. That’s a good step — forward-thinking and proactive. But there some things you should be careful about otherwise it may turn into habits and counterintuitive for your online dating experience.

Here are six tips to keep in mind as your scan through the never ending the stream of profile you’re your potential suitors.

Pictures Isn’t Everything

In online dating, it’s common for most singles to nitpick and maintain high expectations. But, remember pictures aren’t everything and don't say much about a person. Things like, “She’s pretty, but I like blondes,” if you are that kind of person, stop it. You’ll never find a person to date this way. If you want to project yourself as a mature and empathetic person, then opt for a want a real connection and a relationship with a person whom you love and in turn love you.

Don't Obsess With the Details

Don’t worry about the specifics like, which bars, food, restaurants, books or movies he or she likes. Instead, broaden your horizon and look for particulars like does she lives in the same city? Is he a reader? Does she seem funny? Don’t get consumed with the notion that there is someone out there who will match exactly to all your preferences and taste.

Evaluate the Profile for His or Her Attitude

This can be quite difficult, and you are trying to know the person and his or her attitude from a profile picture. Try reading between the lines and see if he or she’s pleasant, friendly and sincere. Also look closely for signs of bitterness, boastfulness, and insincerity. For example, if you see a person saying over and over again that a person is “very satisfied” with his or her life, or “absolutely love their lives,” then it appears the claims aren’t truly honest and exposes his or her vulnerabilities.

People Aren’t Honest About Their Personalities

Most people aren’t genuinely honest about who they are and explicitly lie about their personalities or true motives. For Instance, “I’ m an optimistic person,” or “I have a sense of humor,” means nothing as people are very unreliable self-reporters. People can lie about actual values like age, job, location or education when it comes to less tangible elements; people are simply delusive.

Don’t Get Attached Without a Real Meeting

It doesn’t matter if you have become an expert at reading people profile and passing judgments about how this girl or guy is the perfect match for you. The thing is looks can be deceiving and don’t even start a relationship without meeting him or her first in the real world. You can learn a lot of a person’s manners and demeanor, and things like how he smiles, the tone of her voice and whether he makes eye contact while talking and so on. You don’t get to see this from his or her’s online dating profile.

Don’t Start a Relationship after Two Dates

You shouldn’t do this offline too, but the temptation to do this greater in the online dating arena. Sometimes we become so tired of dating that we just get over it, and rush ourselves into the next thing, the relationship. But getting too soon in a relationship can counterintuitive and can scare your potential partner.

Being in a relationship isn’t all that simple and finding “the one,” can be hard. But finding and getting to know another person takes time and patience.


3 Questions You Need To ask Yourself about Potential Partner

So, you decided to go on a date and hopefully to be a new relationship if you have met your potential partner. But, you are always wondering, how you would know if he or she is the person you wanted to have a relationship. Well, a lot of elements are involved, if a relationship needs to last and advance. But the first things are pretty basic, simple and fun stuff. Things like, “Are they attracted to you?”, or “Do you like to talk with them?”, “Do they like the same things I like?”

But, when you are thinking of choosing the right partner for you, then you have to dig a little deeper. So, here are three things that you ask yourself about your potential spouse.

How does this person make me feel?

Falling in love is a beautiful feeling, and you feel lucky to be with your partner. Just the feeling that someone likes you is very exciting and intoxicating. But, the person you’re dating might not have the same feelings towards you. People’s emotions are hard to understand, they make you feel happy, smart, confident, but the real motives get exposed after you have dated the person for a while. He or she might not be that into, and they will always find excuses to avoid you or not to spend time with you. If you feel that he or she isn’t interested in you anymore and you seem to be unhappy being with them, then this person isn’t making you feel good about yourself. In this situation, instead of trying their approval, the best thing you can do it break up or end the relationship.

How does the person you’re dating treat other people?

When people start to date or if a relationship is in its early days, people try to bring their A game — they talk nice, they listen attentively, compliment you all the time and make you feel important. Besides, all check out how your new date treats other people like the taxi driver, the waiter, or the cashier or your friends. See if the person pleasant or stubborn or if he or she has good etiquettes. In short, find out if the person is genuinely a respectful and a kind person or if they are just pretending to be good, so will like them.

Do You Think This Peron is Trustworthy?

This question is hard to explain. Whether a person is trustworthy or not can't be answered just by looking into his or her habits or how they live their lives. It’s all about instincts. Don’t doubt your intuition and if your guts say that you can trust this person, then go for it.

So, that’s it, the three things that you need to ask yourself about your potential partner. It’s ok to criticize if all these sounds pretty basic, but in our culture where we have gotten habituated to evaluate a person by his or her physical looks, career, money, and family name— we care less about simple qualities like kindness and respect. But, it’s these qualities that matter the most in a relationship.


7 Tips on How to Be a Great Kisser

A kiss is a symbol of affection and one will kiss you unless people find you attractive physically and emotionally. Having a date with a beautiful girl is a dream all men have, but not all guys are confident enough to get a kiss from their dates. They become shy and nervous when they try to kiss their girl for the first time as they think what she will think of them.

So, to help you out, here are seven tips on how to be a great kisser.

Check your breath for bad odor. This is the most important step on becoming a better kisser. No girl wants to kiss a guy with a bad mouth odor. To keep your breath from smelling bad, stay away from eating spicy foods, garlic, onions, and anything that has a strong smell. You can also include cigarettes and cigars too. Use a mouth freshener or mint chewing gums to make your breath fresh.

Always close your eyes while kissing. Kissing while keeping your eyes shut allows your mind to focus and connect emotionally with the person you kissing. Besides, closing your eyes also allows you not to get distracted.

Don’t rush while kissing. Take your time and start slow at first. Kissing is a romantic gesture, unlike most things. Kissing is more exciting and pleasurable if both of you wait and build up the pressure. Then see the passionate kisses coming.

Don’t just kiss the lips. There are other places you can kiss as well. You can sometimes kiss his/her on the neck, cheeks, shoulders and the gently on the eyelids. But remember to ask what he/she likes to avoid any uncomfortable experiences. Instead of asking every time, use your instincts to find out what your date likes. You will know that you are doing it okay if he/she responds to it.

Use your hands. Another tip for being a good kisser is to use hands while kissing and how you take advantage of your hands will create a great impression on him or her. While kissing, pull your date closer to yourself, and place your hand on his or her neck, waist or run your finger through their hair.

Don’t get too intimate at first. You guys have just started dating, so it’s a bad idea if you start French kissing. Start gently and slow, and if you think the timing is okay, take the dive. French kissing is often taken as a sexual gesture, so some people might get offended and end the moment if you have taken it too far.

Put a little pressure. Applying a little pressure on the lips will help you both closer together, but don’t put too much pressure as it will hurt. Lips are highly sensitive to pain, anything more than acceptable will be uncomfortable for both if you and will take the romance away.

Scientists has discovered that kissing is more that the lips of two people pressing against one another. Most people have found that they can remember their first kiss better than the moment they lost their virginity. It’s a highly emotional act than anything else, and a good kiss will lead to a better relationship and beyond.


8 Top Signs You Should Not Marry Him

You think you love your man. You both have been in a relationship; now you have decided to get married. You believe your man wants to get married. He says all and does all the right things, yet you begin to find that there is no match between his words and actions. You boyfriend tells that he respects you, but most of the time dismisses your opinions.

Now, you begin to doubt that if this is the man you want to marry! Some women say they can change their boyfriends after getting married, but the truth is personalities cannot be changed. Here are eight behavioral traits you cannot change or fix in a man:

1. You find him to be very controlling. He wants to be a boss in every situation like if you want to a park, he will insist on going to a restaurant. This clearly proves that he wants to have complete control of your relationship, but a real loving relationship doesn’t have that.

2. He has a condescending demeanor, and it drives you mad. He always makes the final say in all matters. There is no hierarchy in a loving relationship. His opinions and attitudes cannot be better than yours.

3. You find him to be narcissistic. People who are narcissistic believe that they are better and superior to you and have little to no regard for other people’s feelings. If you find your future husband is narcissistic, it better to end the relationship right away. Simple as that.

4. He supports bullying attitudes. Everyone hates a bully. But, the truth is bullying is also present in relationships and marriages. He will push you around and will always control and won’t let be out from his shadow. If that’s the case, it’s time to breakup with him.

5. He is manipulative. He treats you like his puppet. He always attempts to manipulate your feelings, actions, behaviors, and even your future aspirations. This is one precarious form of control. You don’t want that kind of person to be your future husband.

6. He never keeps his promises. He promised you a birthday present; he didn’t deliver it. He told to take you to a romantic dinner; he didn’t. The thing is your man has promised a lot of stuff to do, but in the end, he has a hard time honoring them.

7. You find that your boyfriend cannot be trusted. The key for a loving and long-lasting marriage is TRUST. Marriage will only survive through all good and bad times, only if both people in a relationship trust one another completely. If you don’t find your boyfriend doesn’t seem trustworthy to you, leave the relationship right away.

8. He has trouble with his finances. Because one of the primary reasons for divorces is related to financial woes, it’s important for you to marry someone who is responsible with his finances and doesn’t have any massive outstanding debts. Some signs are he’s out of work most of the time, he gambles, and buy stuff he doesn’t need or use, or you pay the bills most of the time.

So, there you have it, these eight behavioral characteristics are very real and define a person. Actions are related to personality, and you cannot change people’s personalities. Taking heed of these behavioral characteristics could save you from a marriage that is full of distress, unhappiness, and even danger.


Forgiving Your Ex is Important to Move on after a Breakup

Where there are relationships, there will be breakups. Every day many men and women decide to let go of the relationships that weren’t ideal for them. How well their next relationship will end depends on what will these newly single men and women tell themselves about their previous relationships and their exes. A crucial step to moving on after a breakup is forgiving their ex-partners and not being angry at what they did or said that led the relationship to end. If you don’t let go of the anger and forgive, you will find it difficult to move on.

These four steps that will help you in the process of forgiving your ex and let go of your anger:

Be Sure You Clearly Understand What Angered You Most About Your Ex

Of the emotions, anger is by far the most underrated. Most people are afraid of their angriness, and scared those if they are upset; it will cause them to lose control emotionally and will lead people to think that they are “mentally imbalanced,” or “crazy.” However, anger comes naturally from within us and automatically with any relationship, even in the best ones. After breaking up, take hold of your anger and recall why did your former partner do that made your angry the most? Or what things did he or she do that made me neglected, humiliated or betrayed?

Channel Your Anger into Words

Only thinking about your anger won’t help you enough in the healing process after a breakup. You have to channel all that anger into writing. Write down a few lines of the worse upsetting events with your ex in a journal and store in your closet. Writing about your thoughts is very effective because it helps to organize your feelings into small thought fragments that stick in your mind. Read what you wrote in your journal now and then, and the notes will act like an old friend consoling, supporting and assuring you if you start missing your ex. Or simply reminiscing the good and the bad times you had with your ex.

Find What Have You to Learn From Your Past Relationship

After a breakup, people often feel overwhelmed by the sense of loss, sadness, emptiness and failure. You should get rid of your anger and negative feelings by any means, so that you can move on and embark on a new relationship with a positive emotional outlook. To say goodbye to your anger and sad feelings after a breakup, focus all your mental energy to figure out what are you supposed to learn from the demise of your previous relationship. Once you understand that the relationship had to end, and then only you learned a valuable lesson. You will feel more confident towards your ex and won’t feel hard forgive him or her.

What Should You Tell People When Asked About Your Ex-Partner

When you have a breakup and start to move on, people will wonder what went wrong with your ex. Instead of bad-mouthing your anger, tell them, you both were solid at first, but then something went wrong, and you both tried the best to fix it. But then you both found out there is no future in this relationship. So, now you both learned your lessons and trying to move on.

So there you have it, we know breakups are painful, and they aren’t anybody fault. After all, our ex-partners are in fact more like northern stars, directing us towards new people that will make us happy and be better partners to us in the future.


6 Simple and Easy Habits for a Happy Marriage

Being married or starting a new relationship isn’t difficult, but being committed and having the best intention for it is. A happily married couple have a deep love for each other, appreciate each other and are very committed to bringing out the best within themselves. Marriage is all about gratitude and appreciation of each other’s good habits, which brings the positive energy and this energy is the key for a happy and long-lasting union.

Here are six simple and small habits that you can work on for a happy marriage:

Greet Your Partner In The Morning With A Warm Smile

This is the simple one, yet we often forget it. We get up early, have our breakfast, get the kids ready for school, and drive to work. We hardly greet each other anymore. But just see how a simple and lovely smile can work wonders for your partner everytime you wake up. Always greet your partner in the morning with a warm smile and say that you are happy to his or her wife or husband or you can imagine your life without him or her. It's the small gestures, but its effects are endless.

Send Your Partner Romantic or Flirty Text Messages

Instead of texting your friends all day, use your smartphone to send your spouse romantic or flirty messages like, “Baby, I miss you every second”, or “I want to see you Tonight!!!”, whenever you feel like to do.

Hugging Your Partner Brings Them Closer

It's so beautiful to see how couples come close to each other if they touch and feel each other. When your partner comes home from work, shopping or some other place, hug your partner closely, feel your partner's hair, hands or legs. The perfect time to do it when you guys are having lunch or dinner or just laying in the bed watching TV. Now, see the magic unfold itself.

Appreciate Your Partner Every Day

Most marriages lose their lustre because partners don’t compliment each other on how they feel or look. The relationship becomes void of any commitment and love. To bring back fire back in your marriage, be thankful to your partner for everything they do. It doesn’t matter if your husband cleaned the bedroom or took the children to the school or your wife made you a great cup of coffee. These small, yet powerful gestures make them feel appreciated, and they try to do those things more often and better. Plus, don’t forget to compliment each other appearances and looks, when you both go on dates or hang out.

Express Your Feelings While Being Vulnerable

There are times when couples express their needs; the request appears like an attack than a lovely gesture. For instance, if you become annoyed seeing your husband watching TV, don’t say, that he’s always watching TV and doesn’t want to spend time with me. This can be counterintuitive and won’t do anything except hurt your partner’s feelings. Instead, express what you want and feelings and say that you want to spend more time the night with him or want to be by his side all night. The key is always express your feelings by being vulnerable.

Feeling Your Partner’s Breath

It may sound a bit weird at first, but nonetheless, it's very effective to show affection to your spouse. Hugging and feeling your partner breath, and looking at each other's eyes is a powerful way to get intimate with each other. Sometimes you probably won’t feel being affectionate or showing appreciation, or in a bad mood. But give it a try anyway.

So, there you have it. You may not like them all, but if you give it a try, you can be assured that they will spice up your marriage and make it even happier.


5 Signs That Your Partner Might Cheating On You

It’s been a while that you’ve suspected something is not right with your husband’s behavior lately, but now its appears that your suspicions are correct after all. You husband has been cheating on you. We stay in a world where we always have to meet and socialize with new people, and unknowingly, we might get involved in an affair. This can be a huge blow to our relationships and our marriages, some of which can lead to a breakup.

Below are five signs that may indicate that your husband may be having an affair:

Noticeable Changes In Appearance

If you think your husband is cheating, you will notice a drastic change in his looks and appearance. You will see your partner dressed differently than usual when going for work, has a new haircut, or putting on a new cologne, and even going to the gym a lot. All this points that he’s trying to impress a new lady or a coworker. This is all too common for people who are having affairs as they want to look good and confident for their new significant other. So, if you see your husband, who has been couch-potato all day, suddenly looking dapper, now you know, he isn’t doing it for you.

There Is A Dramatic Change in Attitude Towards You

If your husband is unfaithful with you, he will give out excuses like he is very stressed out or exhausted, when you ask him to spend some time with you. People who are having affairs feel guilty about it, so they avoid having any thoughtful discussions that will make him or her suspicious of them being unfaithful. Gradually, you will see him ill-tempered most of the time and his attitude towards you will change dramatically. Your partner will certainly start arguing and not be entirely honest with you if your start asking him whether he is having an affair. For instance, if you start to ask your husband about it, he will probably reply, “Shut up,” or “I’m not cheating, why would I.”

He Has More or Less Sex

This is a little tricky. It can mean your husband isn’t interested in having sex with you anymore or he satisfies his sexual needs with the other woman. It’s also been reported some men become more active sexually if they are having an affair and has more sex with their wives. So, check out for that.

You Find Your Husband Hard To Reach

If you find husband's phone is switched off or busy or gives all kind of excuses for coming home late or going to work soon, it is an indication that he’s trying to avoid you. It appears that your husband is never around when you see him, or just spend time with him. It can be that your partner is spending too much time with the other lady, that he’s tired to do the same with you. All these can be indicating that he might be having an affair.

Trust Your Intuition

If you discover that your husband is behaving or talking differently, or hiding something, then trust your instincts that something is wrong. Your intuition will help you find out if your husband is involved with another lady or not. But, if you have a history of being paranoid, then you can be wrong, and the result can devastate you badly – physically, mentally and emotionally.

There are many upsetting reports which claim how infidelity has helped couples to mend their marriages or improve their relationships but remember that once trust is broken, it's very hard to fix. The truth is the mental and emotional toll are so painful; most people tend to stay in the relationship instead of breaking apart.


4 Intuitive Ways to Help You Move On After a Breakup

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Breakups are messy and painful, even if you want to end the relationship. They are upsetting for both persons in a relationship, whereas most people say breakup are harder for the one who got dumped. That’s not true as the person who ended the relationship has seriously hurt the feelings of someone else. It's common sense; we have to move on after a breakup just like everything else in life. Most people say to move on from a breakup; you should begin a new relationship. Well, that’s counterintuitive and doesn’t help most people.

So, whether you wanted this relationship to end or simply lost interest in it, here are four simple and effective ways you can follow to help you move on.

Take a break from your Exes-friends

One of the counterintuitive things most people do after a break up is spending time with people who are friends of your ex-partner. It may be tempting, but it’s going to hurt you when someone from the group shares about the details your ex is doing lately. This will not help you move on. So, take a few months hiatus from your friends and this will make your life simpler and stress-free.

Focus on your profession

When you’re in a warm and stable relationship, usually you aren’t very focused on meeting a deadline, finding a new job, or get a promotion, or learning anything to enhance your professional skills. Now, you have newly single again; you can now channel all your positive energy into something that will improve your life. Think about what do to make your happier professionally and write instructions how to achieve it and follow it to take your career to the next level.

Reunite with a family member or an old friend

Breakups are awful, and you can feel upset and lost after the event. Things get more upsetting when you realize that your ex-lover has also become your best friend, even if the relationship was already halfway through. Now, that you can’t rely on care and support from your ex, non-romantic relationships can help you significantly to move on and appreciate the little things in life. Consider reaching out to all the friends and call one of them just to say “hello.” Also, don’t forget to call your family members too. Being connected to someone who cares about will help not to feel lonely and reestablish the bonds long lost over the years.

Work on a momentous home project

Take on a momentous project you could do at your home that will help you move on and start your life afresh. After breaking up, consider changing the look of your home. Begin by painting some walls, rearrange all your furniture or books, or plant some new flowers. If you didn't organize your closet for a while, now it’s the perfect time to do it. Dig through your closets and get rid of all the clothes and other stuff you haven’t worn or used for a while. Plant some new plants and make space for a table and some chairs, if you have a garden. The main purpose here is to seek a fresh beginning emotionally by making a fresh start in your physical surroundings.

Breakups are painful, and none of the above advice suggests you move on and begin a new relationship. Rather this will help you focus on other parts of your life and restoring balance which is the key to healing and moving on at the demise of a relationship.