All posts by Dating Guru

Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Dating

Women are entirely different from men. If they like someone, they will dive right it, give their hearts, minds, and even their souls to men, in a hope to forge a perfect relationship. We decide to stop looking for other men, and by doing that we sabotaged our chances to get the closeness, commitment and intimacy we very much desire. This is the biggest mistake a lot of ladies make, and it’s time you stop it.

Instead, start dating multiple men at the same time until you find the man who is committed and right for you: Here’s why:

Being Needy Pushes Men Away.
When you’ve placed all your hopes and dreams on one guy, it’s natural to be scared of losing him, will eventually make you too feel lost. You become obsessed with his every phone call, you do what he wants you to do, and catering to his needs and wants by neglecting yours. This makes you appear needy and clingy to him, and it creates additional pressure on him. Instead, keep all your options open, and get him to understand and remind that you’re a prize that needs to be won. If you stop over-investing in your relationship, you’ll get the attention and affection you always desired.

Choose A Partner Wisely
If you’re dating only one man, it’s easy to ignore all the red flags about that person and focus on the good qualities. However, these red flags will eventually be the reasons for the demise of your relationship. You will realize that you’ve wastefully spent a lot of love and affection on someone who isn’t right for you. Dating is all about knowing people and choosing someone who will bring the best in each other, and take things to the next level.

Taking Things, Slow Is The Best Way
You can’t take things slow if you’re dating only one man. It’s impossible. But, when you’re dating multiple men at the same time, you can take things slow. You’re busy with other dates, your job, and other activities. This way you aren’t dedicating your entire time only one guy. It also gives you the opportunity to relax and reflect on all your dates, and recall what other men has revealed about themselves to you.

Your Chances of Meeting The Right Will Increase
When it comes to men and dating, a lot of folks tell women not to be picky, not to obsess on your checklist, and date only one man at a time. But, if you date multiple men at the same time, your chances of meeting someone who meets most of the qualities in your checklist will increase. Therefore, by keeping your options open, and dating many men, your likelihood of meeting the man of your dreams will go up.

The bottom line is when you’re looking for someone who will meet most of your preferences, dating multiple men and women at the same time will help find the right person much faster. It will also make you feel empowered, confident and boost your self-esteem. So, don’t think about the criticism that comes with it. Just give it a try.

What A Guy Needs To Feel When Dating A Woman

If you want a man to get to know you better and ultimately to have a loving and committed relationship with you, you will need to build a positive experience first. This positive experience will subsequently make him impossible to resist and imagine life without you. If you’re able to do it, you’ll eventually have a healthy, loving and long-lasting relationship with him and you don’t have to anxious again of him getting away from you.

Here’s how:

1. Have Control Over Your Emotions
How you communicate your emotions has tremendous power over a man. They will help you to connect you with a man instantly, and they also have the power to push him away in no time. If you want to have a healthy, loving relationship with a man, and want to enjoy that wonderful feeling that comes with it by being close and intimate with him, even during the hard times, then you must know how to control your emotions. You should be aware how to convey your feelings with a man, and communicate in such a way that uses their power to benefit you and your relationship. If you rush, it will make the relationship crumble. So, take the time to process your emotions, and put them in perspective. Then your emotions and feelings will have a different effect on a man. Therefore, spare some time for your emotions to settle, before you express them to a man. Also, express your emotions calmly and passionately to a man, and he’ll surely have a positive experience overall.

2. Always Expect The Best Possible Outcome
When it comes to relationships, most men and women always expect the worse outcome. Let’s talk about a situation to put this into context. Say, your man didn’t call you even after he said he would. You quickly start to wonder where he is, who is he with, what is he doing, etc., and all sorts of negative thoughts. You start imagining in your head, having fun with other women, enjoying without you, and so forth. You get upset. Eventually, this creates negative tension and distance between both of you.

How can you deal with this? First, begin by visualizing your ideal outcome; and then create a positive meaning from the result by yourself. If he doesn’t call you, it's probably he is busy with work, forgot to call you, or just making himself free to call you. You’ll notice that your man will be more interested in talking to you as he has a lot of catching up to do. If he tells you that he isn’t ready to be in a serious relationship with you, you might freak out, and this will push him away without giving the relationship a second try. Instead, think of it this way – that is he really likes you, but he wants to think about the relationship deeply as his feelings for you are intense and adamant. You can get incredible results when you spin things positively. It will make you attractive and desirable to other men who are committed to being in a relationship, if not to him.

In dating and relationship, if you keep a positive mindset and have fun, it will create positive and intimate experiences in the relationship. Your partner will soon see you as positive and significant part of his or her life.

6 Signs That Shows You Are Dating The Wrong Person

Searching for everlasting love can be depressing, frustrating and a daunting experience. The world is rife with social media, dating shows, sky rocking divorce and infidelity rates; making us question ourselves does true love really exist? The truth is yes, true love does exist. That’s why we want to be in love. We want to feel that emotional connection and safety with the other person. However, finding the right person and making smart decisions is the key to finding everlasting love.

Here are six signs for the ladies to for in a man, which indicates he isn’t right for you:

1. Mr. Unavailable. There is something wrong with your man if you find it hard to reach him, despite both of you living in the same city. If you call him and if he sounds irritated or annoyed, and he returns or responds to your calls or messages sometimes, maybe this man isn’t right for you.

2. Mr. No Compliment Guy. Giving compliments to each other is natural when two people are in love. If the last time your partner praised you was the first time he met you, then it points that this guy doesn’t value you enough. We understand a man should go overboard while giving compliments, but he should be happy and feel proud to be in a relationship with you. Appreciating and making the other person feel good is the building block of a healthy relationship.

3. Mr. I Want You To Be My Mom. If you find that your man is always low on cash, struggling to pay his bills, keep his place clean or fridge filled with food, it’s clear that this man is looking for a mama. Or at least, he wants to date someone who will take care of him. These types of guys will assume that you take care of them; in return, they give you less value and time. It is evident he cannot take care of himself. Don’t look back and run.

4. Mr. Quitter. If you’ve argument with your man, he lets you win or allows you to walk away without a fight. This means that he’s not interested in you or thinks that you’re too good for him. It seems like he expects you to nurture or fix all the problems in the relationship. Otherwise, he quits quickly. This man certainly doesn’t value himself or anyone else for that matter.

5. Mr. Only Good For A While. You’re confused if your partner is having fun or enjoying spending time with you. You also notice that he doesn’t make much effort to spend time with you, and not having much fun, even if he says otherwise. If you think that when you’re away, he won’t think about you, and he won’t make an effort to see you, it’s time you walk from him. He’s isn’t in love with you, and if a man loves a woman, he’ll make an effort to be with her.

6. Mr. Inflexible. The guy you’re dating is inflexible. It’s his way or the highway. He indicates that if you want to have a relationship with him, things must be established the wants it to be. If you contradict him, he gets angry and doesn’t agree with you. If this is the case, pack your bags and leave. Healthy relationships are flexible, and both partners try to meet each other’s needs.

The above signs not only apply to men but women too. So, if you were dating someone new, and see one or a combination of these deal-breakers in him or her, it is best you leave the relationship.

Will Your Relationship Suffer If You Snoop on the Person Your Dating?

Being curious about someone you just met and interested to have a relationship with is natural. We use all means at our disposal including the internet to know more about the person we are seeing. But, all these snooping without our partners’ knowledge affect our chances of developing a loving and healthy relationship?

Well, here are some questions you need to think long and hard before you decide to snoop on your partner:

1. Why do I feel the need to snoop? You can reveal a lot about yourself and the other person by your intentions and motivations. We understand that you want to be extra cautious about not getting hurt again like you did in the past because of your partner’s dishonesty and disloyalty. Or it might be that your intuition is nagging you that the person you’re currently seeing is exactly the person he/she purports to be. Or, it’s maybe that you’re simply nosy. Answering all ‘why’ questions will give you an insight about yourself and your intentions regarding the relationship.

2. Will I accept the fact if someone snooped on me? You most likely won’t care if your new love interest looks into your life in a certain way. It’s none of his or her business, at least not at this stage of the relationship. Don’t snoop on other people the same way you won’t like someone to be snooping on you.

3. Does my investigation break any boundaries? If you want to have a loving, healthy relationship, boundaries must be maintained, respect should be given, and honesty should be present. You should understand where the boundaries are between suspicious prying and sensible collection of information about the person you’re currently dating. Now, honor the boundaries.

4. Can I spend my energy on something more productive than snooping? If you’re snooping on your partner just because of the sheer thrill you get from it, remember that it takes a lot of effort to keep your secretive action concealed from your spouse. What’s more important is that energy could be better utilized and enjoyed if you just have an open and honest conversation with your partner to know more about them.

5. Am I snooping on my partner because I want to avoid starting a potentially uncomfortable conversation and feeling vulnerable? If you’re unsure and suspicious about something, you ought to investigate to find more information. But, ask yourself, wouldn’t things be much helpful if you just brought up the topics in an open and gentle way and have a dialogue with your partner? It’s true that snooping is a simple solution to find more about your spouse, rather than doing all the hard work to have an honest conversation with him or her. If you realize that him spending long hours in the office at night, or her having dinner with her ex, makes you feel vulnerable, then you should have to address these issues. They are necessary discussions you need to have together to build trust, loyalty and diffuse any threats in your relationship.

A healthy relationship is built on commitment, honesty, openness, trust and emotional intimacy. If you’re looking for someone or dating someone new, it’s difficult to control these qualities in the other person, but you can do your best to maintain these essential qualities.

Are You Accidentally Draining The Love And Excitement From Your Dates?

The world of dating is unpredictable. Many of us well aware of the fact that a promising and loving relationship all of sudden fizzles out without any explanation whatsoever. But, if this trend keeps on happening frequently and you feel disappointed about it, maybe it’s time for you to realize that dating you isn’t as easy you might think. Maybe some of your not-so-pretty personality traits are to blame, which you can’t seem to figure out.

Here are characteristics that might describe why you’re difficult to date:

1. You’re very talkative. Many people find it unattractive when one person keeps on talking about himself or herself without giving the other person any chance to talk while on dates. The purpose of dating is to get to know about each other. If you do all the talking, the other person will miss the opportunity to be heard. You’ll miss the chance to know him/her. So, don’t be that person.

2. You’re highly opinionated. It’s perfectly fine if you’re fired up or enthusiastic about issues that interest you. It shows that you’ve passion and depth. But, if it turns into a rant on every date, there is a risk you may empty your date’s batteries really quick. Potential romantic partners hope to feel that you’re open and accepting of other points of views and opinions as well, not just of your own.

3. You’re hard to please. Some people are so protective of their comfort zone that they won’t like to see or do anything or even eat something; they don’t like or acquainted with. If you’re one of them, say yes to something new and different than you’re used to. Who knows, you might have a really good time for yourself and your partner, too.

4. You’re too rushed. If you start having a conversation about the future of your relationship like marriage, having kids, etc., after a few dates, maybe you’re taking things too fast. Doing this will drain the energy from your relationship. Romantic relationships work best and last longest, if you don’t take it very seriously. So relax, and enjoy the moments.

5. You’ve too much emotional baggage. Nobody wants to have a relationship with someone who won’t stop talking about his exes and past relationship. Your new date isn’t responsible for clearing away your emotional baggage. Therefore, deal with your relationships and heartbreaks, before you begin dating someone new again.

6. You’re very needy or clingy. Being overly desperate, needy or clingy is a very unattractive trait in a romantic relationship. Always asking your partner questions such as, ‘why were you late, or what are you doing,’ etc., is sure to annoy him or her. The less clingy you are, the more confident you’ll be, and the longer your partner will be around you.

7. You’re too demanding. Don’t strike a fight with your girlfriend when she’s 15 minutes late for the date, or don’t get annoyed with your boyfriend simply because he sometimes forgets to reserve a table at the restaurant. Don’t be too demanding or judgmental about each other’s lifestyle or personality.

The bottom line is nobody’s perfect. If you’re looking for a date, or in a relationship, and some of these qualities resonate with you, don’t despair. These conditions can be easily cured. But, you should be committed to keeping them in check after you address them.

Is Dating a Co-Worker Good or A Disaster Waiting to Happen?

There is nothing unusual people telling that they’ve fallen in love with that cute lady or that handsome guy at work. But is dating a coworker a lucky thing or just a call for disaster? Consider the pros and cons of such relationships before you make such a decision.

Dating someone from work has some benefits. As both of you are working in the same, you most likely know about his/her strengths and weaknesses. You have seen how he/she handles stress and treats her peers and colleagues. Even better, as you both work for the same employer, you two will have the working hours, days and holidays. Both of you’ll have the same values, friends and coworkers. But, all isn’t rosy here. Think whether your relationship will become a topic of office gossip? Will your other co-workers conspire with you? Will they become resentful and jealous towards you? Will you be treated differently by your boss, supervisors or coworkers after they come to know that you’re dating someone at work?

Then there’s the question whether your office romance will affect your productivity at work? There is a chance that you’ll get distracted by your new love interest, at least during the initial stages, and if the relationship breaks down, will you become less efficient in carrying out your job duties? After all, you’re responsible for accomplishing certain tasks by your company. If you think that dating a coworker, will make it harder for you to keep your love life and professional life separate, or it might make you less productive, then having a relationship with a coworker isn’t a right decision.

You should also take into account the financial impacts if the relationship ends. Would you feel comfortable working with him/her at proximity post-breakup? If not, is there any option that you’ll be relocated to another department or location? Or, will you need to look for a new job somewhere else?

Nonetheless, if you’re still interested to date someone at work, the following guidelines will make the whole experience a lot smoother.

Follow the rules of your company or organization. If your company forbids you from dating your coworkers, follow it. Some companies allow it after disclosing it to your boss or supervisors. Don’t date someone who directly answers to you or you answer to them, such your boss or supervisors. You must need to avoid any chances of favoritism, abuse of power, conflicts of interests or gossips from your coworkers.

Maintain clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives. While on the job, focus on it 100 percent. What you do at your workplace is your employer’s business, and what you do outside of work is your personal business.

Keep your romantic behavior discreet. Don’t make your colleagues feel uncomfortable by showing affection to your coworker when things are good, or grief when things go awry. Besides, don’t use any office phone or emails for personal communication as it can interfere with your privacy.

Love can find you anytime, anywhere. Despite all the problems, it’s still possible for singles to date their co-workers and have loving, lasting relationships with them. After all, this is where most people spend almost half of their days.

Are Your Date Confused Over The Relationship Status?

So you guys have been dating for a while, then one day all of a sudden your date tells you that, ‘he/she don’t know what they want in the relationship’. You aren’t exactly sure what he or she is trying to tell you, and you’re confused about it and where the relationship is heading. But, statements like this are never good for the relationship.

Anyways, if you’re still scrambling to figure out what he/she meant by that, below are a few assumptions that will help you to make sense of it:

1. I don’t want to be with you – now or never. It is the most commonly used meaning of, ‘I don’t know what I want.’ The person you’re dating might or might not know why the relationship isn’t working or whom he/she would rather be dating. But, one thing is clear that your date isn’t interested in being in a relationship with your anymore. It’s sad but true. Consider this the end of your relationship.

2. I don’t know what I want. Dating isn’t easy for some people. They get confused, and that’s fine. But, the man or the woman you’re currently with tells you that he/she doesn’t fully know what they want in the relationship, he/she isn’t mentally and emotionally prepared to commit to a relationship. Don’t break up with him/her, rather give them some space. Maybe if they know what they want, he/she will return to you.

3. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, your date says these words, ‘I don’t know what I want’, to break up or end the relationship with you in a gentle and subtle manner. The reason why do it this is because they’re afraid and feel uncomfortable to hurt your feelings and emotions.

4. Something doesn’t feel right to me. There comes a moment when you just need to go with your instincts. Maybe your date is trying to express that, even after the fact that both of you’re enjoying each other’s company very much. Your partner doesn’t feel entirely comfortable or settled with the existing relationship, but he/she doesn’t know how to communicate that. If you think that your partner needs to tell you something about the relationship, encourage him/her to do it. But, don’t force anyone to stay with if they don’t want to.

5. I can’t take the pressure to make a decision about our relationship. A point arrives in a relationship where decisions about commitment and marriage need to be made, and this line refers to that. Sometimes, one of the partners doesn’t feel ready to make such life-changing decisions. They feel panicked and overwhelmed. However, the reactions can be managed by taking things slower, giving more time to your spouse to know you better, and by asking hard questions about what you both are looking for in a relationship.

6. I’m emotionally unavailable. If your partners tell you, they don’t know what they want; it implies that they aren’t emotionally ready to be in a long-term relationship. It is a deal-breaker in any relationship. If you come to realize that your partner is emotionally unavailable, it’s better to end the relationship.

If you’ve just dating someone or in a relationship, if the other person tells you they are unsure about the direction the relationship is heading, give them space to figure things out. It’s better that breaking up immediately.

How to Deal With Anxiety on Dates is Easier Than You Think

Many men and women said that they feel anxious and worried on their dates; especially the first dates are pretty precarious. Some might feel the urge to skip or avoid dating altogether and settle with someone who isn’t right for them. But, there is a silver lining here. If you push yourself to go as many dates as possible, and learn from the experiences, manage expectations and deal with a few bad dates to meet your Mr. or Ms. Perfect, it’s highly likely that you’ll become less nervous and more confident dater.

There’s even more good news. Many people said that they feel the most anxious on first dates right before the moments of meeting their dates. It’s very likely you’re feeling this way because you’re rife with panic or worry, but when you meet your date and start having a conversation, most of these feelings will diminish. Also, think of the fact, the frequently you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll get, and your worries will dissipate too. Your excitement to find love and fall in love with one of your dates will make you more comfortable with dating.

Here five healthy ways that will be helpful to manage your anxiety on first dates, or any dates, and create a genuine connection in spite of your nervousness:

1. Remind yourself that you’re overcoming your fears and worries while on your date. Despite your mind telling to skip it, you eventually made it to the date anyways. Think of this feat as an achievement, and an example for yourself that you can accomplish anything if you just let go of your fears and anxiety. When you think an anxious thought has popped into your head and is holding you back, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths. Then tell yourself, ‘I am not afraid, nothing can hold me back, and I am going to the date’.

2. Maintain an open attitude and right level of curiosity about your date the whole the dating experience. Focus on learning more about the other persons by asking questions and being attentive. Curiosity spurs excitement into new experiences and makes it rewarding while freeing yours from negative and anxious thoughts.

3. Humor and laughter lighten and boosts people’s moods. It can quickly dismiss anxiety and awkward silence from any dates. This is particularly handy if your date is nervous too.

4. Stay in the present, and don’t worry too much about what will happen next. Let pass of all the assumptions, fears and judgments that are on your mind. Just focus what is going on now, what your date is saying and how you feel about the whole experience, instead of what going on your head.

5. Don’t be perfect. Don’t even attempt to be. Striving for perfection will only make your more anxious. It’s futile to attempt for humans to attain perfection. Return to the reality and aim to be successful and be the best of yourself.

The bottom line is the more you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll be on your future encounters, and better the chance of you meeting the right partner.

How to Spot a Toxic Person in a Relationship

Let’s begin with the good news; there are plenty of kind-hearted, generous, well-balanced and honest individuals in this world. Now, here’s the bad news; there are a lot of folks who are less emotionally capable, healthy, manipulative, dishonest, cheat and selfish. While searching for a man or woman, you should stay far away from these people.

So, how can you spot a person, who won’t be toxic for the relationship? Here are twelve signs you need to keep an eye on:

1. He/she talks more than necessary and listens way too little. He/she dominates the conversation, which is mostly a sign of self-centeredness, insecurity, and narcissism.

2. He/she always needs to be right all the time, no matter what. It doesn’t if the topic is small or big, this baneful person will downright discard any different opinions, and will turn a light weighted discussion into a serious debate in which they must win.

3. These people don’t seem to embrace the concept of being truthful and honest is the best policy. It’s not a high priority for them. Be careful getting involved romantically with people, who sugarcoat utter lies with little specs of truth or real facts.

4. He/she shows signs of being dependent or addiction. If left unaddressed, their compulsive behaviors including drugs, gambling, pornography, alcoholism, and other issues will engulf them fully and in the process will destroy many aspects of their life, including your relationship.

5. He/she shows signs of desperation. Emotionally healthy men and women will be eager and excited to meet you and get to know you as an individual. He/she will not be overly anxious about getting into a romantic relationship because of loneliness.

6. His/her conversation is coated with sarcasm. No matter what you do, most of the times you’re the target of derogatory comments combined with crude humor. Even if you aren’t the target, he/she lacks empathy and needs to prove his superiority in the relationship.

7. He/she treats ‘common or everyday folks’ poorly. They are rude and sensitive towards maids, dry-cleaners, waiters, taxi drivers, etc. This type of behavior exposes their arrogance.

8. He/she loves to gossip. Talking ill or bashing other people reputation and honor serves no purpose other than burnishing your own.

9. He/she gives mixed answers to straight questions. You get evasive responses or contradictions, and it’s like straight answers are in short supply. These people also have secrets and always hesitant to share their inner feelings, thoughts and secrets.

10. He/she always bashes the ex. No one is interested in listening to all of your endless details about exes and your past relationships. Dwelling in the past is a deal breaker in dates. So, get over it and move on.

11. The person is controlling. He/she likes to be in control and wants to control you. If anyone forces you to think and act to someone else’s wishes, instead of your own, pack your bags and leave.

12. The person doesn’t like to take responsibility. Whenever any problem arises in the relationship; it’s someone else’s fault. He/she blames their partners, parents, friends, and even the government. This behavior reveals a lack of personal responsibility and accountability.

If you’re dating someone or looking for someone to be your romantic partner, keep an eye for these above red flags, as it can be detrimental to the relationship.

How to Deal If Someone Gives Mixed Messages

One of the most common complaints couples have to deal with their partners is when one of the potential partners sending out mixed signals. For example, you had a great date, and he said he would call you soon, but it turned out that he didn’t. You had a growing relationship, but all of a sudden, it turned cold, and he started to act distant. Sound familiar?

Here are eleven ways to deal with your potential partner, when he or she begins to send mixed signals. So, the next time you see yourself in a situation like this, try to recall the following:

1. Don’t predict anything or reach to conclusions. We, as humans, try to find out or read into anything that we find concerning or curious about. But, we can’t be sure what going on a person’s head or what he or she is thinking about. Therefore, don’t waste too much energy on wondering what is happening on other person’s head. When the time is right, you’ll know.

2. Don’t take mixed signals personally. Your date sending out mixed signals has nothing to do at a personal level. So, try to resist the urge to blame yourself when things do go as expected.

3. Don’t force or keep nagging your date when he or she gives out mixed signals. Back off and give some breathing space.

4. Believe what you’re told. Unless your intuition tells you something else, believe what your potential partner said. Allow your partner to experience the doubt and show trust – until the trust is no longer there.

5. Realize that the other person may have some personal issues to deal with. Your partner is confused because he or she might be dealing with pains from past relationships, fears, insecurities, or other life circumstances.

6. Don’t be demanding. It’s one of the bad habits you need manage if you want your relationship to last. So, when your partner didn’t call you, don’t call him back angrily and asking him questions like, ‘why did you call or what took you so long to text,' etc. This can contribute to the push-pull phenomenon, which is common in relationships; the more your partner for answers, the far he or she will go away.

7. Try to get a second opinion. If your date is sending out mixed signals, ask your friend to see what’s actually going on might be helpful.

8. Ensure your confusions aren’t contributing to the problem. If you feel vulnerable, it’s likely that you too may be sending out mixed signals. It’s this is the case; things can get even more complicated.

9. Be direct. Ask straightforward questions and don’t be pushy. If you’ve doubts, a few right questions may clear things quickly.

10. Remember, you’re responsible for you. Sure, you can’t control what your partner conveys to you, but you can control the way you react to them.

11. Boost your self-confidence. A high sense of self-assurance and confidence will help you to navigate all the ups and downs of your life. It will also make you look attractive and desirable to your future potential dates, in case your current one breaks up with you.

The bottom line is if you’re seeing someone new, and your date gives out mixed signals, try to talk about it. If the mixed messages persist, think if you can live with them, and decide when to walk away.