All posts by Dating Guru

3 Sinister Issues That Can Destroy Your Marriage And It’s Not Cheating!

Whenever we hear about a breakup or a divorce, most people assume that it happened because of infidelity. Infidelity is the betrayal that’s main focused in our society for the demise of a relationship or marriage. But that’s not the whole story. Relationships are all about mutual trust, respect, and commitment. Anything that violates these elements, then the relationship is in serious trouble. Partners don’t pay much attention to these when there are issues in the relationship as they dismiss them not as bad as cheating.

Below are three betrayals that end relationships, other that infidelity.

1. Emotional Infidelity

Friendships made at work, gym and even coffee shops can threaten your relationship at home, regardless how platonic you’re with your friends and coworkers. These non-sexual relationships, sooner or later, will encourage both parties to share personal and intimate details about each other’s lives and relationships. So, you may ask how my partner would get betrayed by it? If your partner has come to know somehow that you have shared details about your relationship with your friends and coworkers and he or she feels upset and uncomfortable about it, then it can be labeled as an emotional betrayal. Whether he or she admits it or not, it appears that their partner is cheating.

2. Conditional Love

A relationship won’t last if couples don’t support each other or one person puts a lot of effort than the other. If this happens, they feel like their partner doesn’t have their best intentions at heart. A situation like this often triggers the lack of commitment betrayal bullet to the other partner. Sometimes, one partner may force the other partner to move in or marry, in a hope of elevating their relationship to the next level, but if couples get married believing in this, then instead of creating a lasting bond, then eventually, it will be the reason for the marriage to fail. When couples ignore to discuss difficult issues, the commitment level in the relationship diminishes gradually.

3. Emotional Withdrawal

Emotional withdrawal can be big or small, depending on the context. It can be big like deciding to go on vacation instead of attending a family wedding, or it can be as insignificant as ignoring your partner when he or she need emotional support. In a committed relationship, both partners are there to support each other for all the good times and bad moments. No two people express their feelings in the same way. In a committed relationship, both partners are responsible for disclosing their preferences to understand what the other person needs to feel supported, protected, appreciated, respected and overall loved. Neglecting it will lead to emotional withdrawal.

Betrayals thrive on two things: deception – not expressing your true needs to avoid confrontation, and longing for emotional connection beyond the relationship. These three betrayals can ruin relationships, and the only way couples can reestablish their trust in each other is by facing them and taking responsibility for them. Improve your emotional understanding and connection, focus on rebuilding your romance, cultivate love and fondness and reestablish their trust and commitment in each other.

Don’t Sabotage Your Chance For Love With This Disparaging Habit

When it comes to protecting ourselves from dating the wrong person, we mostly focus on a person’s flaws. But, did you even think that our thoughts of ourselves can be more powerful that we can realize to determine the quality of the person we are with. We are talking about not thinking highly about out self-worth. For example, we often hear rants from even the most confident daters like, “I am not right or successful enough, or “I am not attractive or pretty enough for him,” and that sort of things.

Remember, a simple truth, what we feel about ourselves determines what kind of people we attract in our lives. It doesn’t matter how much we pretend to have a glimmering self-esteem, if we can’t project it skillfully, it’s a total waste.

So, what can you do to get good with yourself?

Narrate Your Own Heroism

Humans are strivers. Our lives aren't static. We’re always striving to overcome obstacles or something to improve ourselves. Search for a story that will give meaning to your own struggles and life journeys. Feeling upset that your relationship didn’t last? Thank yourself and tell yourself that the breakup happened because that relationship wasn’t meant for you and now you a second chance to find someone new that will meet your needs.

Not happy about your finances, career, health, relationships with friends and family? Don’t sulk about it, and instead, work on it to make it better. Try saving and stop reckless spending to boost your finances. Get that promotion that you want badly to advance your career or find a new job. Join a gym or run a 5K marathon to lose some weight, get active by playing sports to improve your health and fitness level. Spend more of your free time with your family or hang out during the weekends with close friends to make those bonds even stronger. These small shifts will shape how we feel about ourselves and communicate to others in a way that we feel at ease and be the captain of our lives. All these will help you to form a positive personal story that is good for our mental health and boosting our self-esteem and confidence level as well.

Trust Yourself That The Things You’re Doing Is Right

We all have seen some people who are always complaining about the lack of love and passion in their relationships, yet they still don’t do anything on their own. Instead, they keep on bashing the other person for doing nothing about it.

Praise everything you do. You spent the time and effort to write the profile. You respond to the texts, emails, and scheduling dates. You showed up for dates and went through boring conversations. You spent money, wore the best dress or suit and put on expensive perfumes. You risked being rejected by asking for a second date or tried for a kiss. You thought your first date was great but got a text from the other person that he or she liked you, but they felt any chemistry. You don’t get sad, you get over it and move on and do it all over again.

Treasure yourself, be nice to yourself, take nicely to yourself and most importantly be okay with yourself. If you do that, you’ll find someone who will be kind to you and treasure you.

9 Signs That He’s Definitely NOT Interested In You

How do you know that the guy you love is into you? Love is an amazing and beautiful feeling, but it can also be distracting. Sometimes our hearts are so much fixed to make it happen with someone, we almost get blindsided to visible signs that our love interest isn’t quite feeling the same way. You probably have seen your friends and family members go through strained relationships with someone where it's crystal clear that the person that they loved so much wasn't really in love with them. You’ve noticed their partners not looking at them, ignoring them, getting distracted or flirting with someone else in front of them, busy calling or texting someone else, and so forth.

You get bewildered with an untold sense of sadness and keep wondering how come this bright, intelligent person became so obvious of the fact that their current partner isn’t interested in them and not loving them back in return. The simple reason; they’re in love!

How can you tell them that they will have their hearts broken further down the path and they will be drowned in despair when that happens? How can you tell that the love they’re now feeling will be over soon and they will have to walk a very long and lonely way to nowhere? It’s not true that they don’t see the flaws in their partners while dating; it’s just that they assumed that they could change them and transform those flaws into qualities. But the fact is people don’t change.

Anyways, here are nine obvious red flags that show that your partner is just not into you and doesn’t love you.

1. They don’t post photos of you on their Facebook pages or on social media pages. But, they never forget to share pictures of their friends.

2. When they’re with you, they check or flirt with the opposite sex as they walk by or sit in the park. When you’re together, they spend most of the time texting, talking or chatting with other people. They totally forget you’re with him or her.

3. They only love and care for you, only when they expect something specific from you. They would stay with you as long as you have money to spend on them. When you get assertive, they threaten to leave you and out they go.

4. They don’t really care about their appearances while they’re with you, but up their jam and glam when they hang out without you.

5. They don’t do anything for you, but they expect to do a lot for them

6. They always treat as something like a last resort. That is if they can’t find any of their friends to go out with them, then they hang with you. Moreover, they act like they’re doing you a favor of going out with you as no one else would want to. They don’t treat you as close friend because you never were to them anytime and they don’t plan on staying with you.

7. They never compliment or appreciate you, but always criticize or bash you, even for the most insignificant things.

8. They never call you cute and endearing names like honey, babe, bae, sweetheart etc.

9. They don’t like to have a conversation about a future with you like relationship goals, marriage, etc. as there won’t be one.

The takeaway here if your date has few or most of these signs and doesn’t make an effort to change, then its time you end the relationship and move on before it’s too late.

3 Tendencies That Will Ruin Your Relationship

Though no couple is free from the risks associated with new love, some acts will doom the relationship even before it got the chance to prosper. If you’re looking and dating the right partner, abiding with some ground rules will make the scouring action a lot easier. Here are three relationship dynamics that are bounded to end the relationship from the start – regardless what everybody else says or do.

1. Are You Looking To Date Casually Or Want To Be In An Exclusive Relationship?

This relationship dynamic is the most ill-fated. No doubt. Before starting to get on the dating bandwagon, ask yourself – what kind of relationship do you want? Do you want to date casually or looking for a steady and exclusive relationship? Unless you come to a decision on which one of these two choices you’re looking for – you aren’t ready for dating. Secondly, at some point of the relationship, you need to discuss your relationship goals at the early stages of dating. Instead of asking your partner what they want from this relationship, first tell him or her, what you really want.

If your approach is something more casual, then there’s always a sense of weirdness in dating where you don’t really know what the other person want. You can tell your partner that you aren’t looking to commit at the moment, but for the time being you want to keep things casual and light. In response, if the other person asks you if they can date other people at the same time, make sure you give an honest answer. It’s a fair question at this point. Make it clear to them if they’re comfortable with the act and whether if you can handle it.

Now, if your approach is something more casual, then there’s always a sense of weirdness in dating where you don’t really know what the other person want. Tell them for the time being you’re dating casually, but if you find the right person, you’re ready to be in a committed and long-term relationship.

2. One Person Is Highly Insecure, While The Other One Doesn’t

It’s a common misconception that women have more insecurities than men. Though women feel vulnerable about many things, a man’s insecurity can doom a relationship just like a woman. People usually feel insecure about their finances, appearances, education, intellect, or rejection. If you happen to date someone who has most or all of these insecurities, then the relationship won’t last long.

3. Dating A Player

Let’s admit it; some players can be damn physically attractive. They know exactly what to say, how to say it and when to say. They will also make you feel important and feel noticed. The drawback is they won’t keep you on their radar for long. Players like to initiate contact with people they like when their admirers expect something back from them, they forget them. If you have ever met a player, be honest and straightforward with them. Tell them you know that he or she is a player, but you aren’t comfortable with it, and you won’t miss them if you can’t see them again in the future.

Ultimately, all these three relationship agitations don't have a happy ending and are destined for an unfortunate demise. However, they are entirely preventable. The single most important advice for you to remember is to stop trying to change yourself, a player or anyone else for that matter. All of them are special in their own selves.

How to Make Your Date Feel Comfortable

We all feel uneasy and awkward while dating someone new. That’s okay, and the awkwardness will pass over time. The thing to remember here is if you want to put your date ease, both of you should stop thinking too much about what each other is thinking. To make your date feel comfortable, here are five elements for you, and trying each one of them will surely make you dating life as smooth as silk.

1. Play Games

Playing silly and nonsense games are the best way for both of you to get distracted and make yourselves comfortable and not feel awkward. Have your first or second date at the restaurant, doesn’t matter if it’s for lunch or dinner. It’s the perfect context. For example, you can ask your date who is the best dressed or worst dressed person in the restaurant, or which waiter won’t receive the “Employee of the Year” prize and so forth. You get the idea.

2. Compliment Each Other

Shoot out a quick compliment the moment you see your date and again toss another one before your date is over. Keep in mind; we are talking about compliments here, not praising speeches. One or two compliments are great, and anything more than that will single to your date that you feel insecure or overly anxious.

3. Tell Stories

It’s the first five minutes of the date that feels very awkward. After complimenting your date, and try to find a topic to start a conversation or try to remember any funny or interesting story. It can be anything. It doesn't if the topic or story is good or boring, all you need to do is to give your date something to focus and create a friendly atmosphere to start the date. For example, you can start about that overhyped movie everyone was talking about last weekend, but it wasn’t that good in the end, etc.

4. Humor

Having a good sense of is one of the important qualities in a person that makes him or her a great date. Humor can actually make a difference between a good date and a bad date. So, don’t be shy and show your sense of humor. Humor will make your feel comfortable. Tell jokes you think are funny. Besides, humor also has another advantage – by showing your sense of humor, your date will also show his or her humorous sense too, and you both can judge if your senses of humor are a match or not.

5. Touch

No, we aren’t talking about anything crazy here. Instead, we’re talking about only a slightest physical gesture. Most people on their dates like to be touched, and they will allow a little bit. This small physical gesture adds warmth in the date, particularly in the first or second date. For instance, you can touch your date’s shoulder for a few seconds, or pat your date’s arm and say something. The goal here is to convey emotional warmth. Flirting or anything sexual is a total no-no here. There’s a plenty of time to do that later in the relationship.

Keep things simple and easy if you wish to have a successful date. If you follow these suggestions for your next dating routine, your date will appreciate about how made them feel at ease with you.

4 Important Things To Look For In A New Date

Love and relationships are some of the beautiful things in life. When we get attracted to someone, it’s crucial to actually look past the infatuation phase at the beginning of the relationship, to find out if there is a chance for a loving and long-lasting relationship. Some people tend to date multiple people to find out which person matches with them.

Some say that it’s similar to cheating or immoral, but it is, in fact, a commendable act for most people in their quest to find the perfect mate. You see there’s some wisdom in it. For example, you have been dating someone for a few weeks or probably months, but later found out that you both are incompatible. You have lost time and effort in it, which you could put to good use by going on multiple dates at the same time. Now, if you’ve dated a few people at the same time, it’s highly likely you’ve come across someone who matches most of the qualities you want to have in your mate.

Nonetheless, if you’re dating a single person or multiple people, here are four important things you need to look for in a potential partner.

1. Integrity and Authenticity

Trust and integrity are the bedrock for a long-term relationship. No doubt about that. Does he or she do what she says? Do their actions match their words? Are they trustworthy and do you trust him or her? If they mess things up, do they take responsibility for it and amend it later? Does he or she have integrity? Is he or she honest and open about who they are as an individual? Being honest and authentic works only it’s full. In other words, it’s whole or nothing. No place for some integrity.

2. Time

Time is an essential element in any date or a relationship. The amount of time you spend with you partner defines what status and situation your relationship is in at the moment. If your partner really loves you, then no distance or situation can keep you both apart. He or she will fly, drive, won’t sleep or even be hungry to see you and be with you. Can you notice this trait in him or her? If yes, then he or she is a keeper.

3. Balance

It’s important to date someone who is well-balanced in personality, character, and lifestyle. Some people can be somber, anxious and intense, while some are laid-back and relaxed. Does your partner have them both? Can he or she make you laugh? Does he or she have hobbies and spend time outside of the relationship like hanging out with friends and family? Does your date share his or her feelings with you? Is your date emotionally stable? If most of these are no – then it's better you skip this person.

4. Commitment

A relationship without dedication and commitment is bound to fail. How was he or she committed in their past relationships? Is he or she dedicated to their careers, kids (if any), or family? Is he or she determined to be in this relationship and wants to in the future?

Commitment, trust, and integrity are some of the most important traits to look for in a date if you’re willing to be in a long-term relationship. If your date or partner lacks any of these factors, then it’s very likely that your date or relationship will be a disaster.

Dating Advice for Shy People – Things You Shouldn’t Do

Dating is a social activity, and while dating, shy men and women have a slight disadvantage because of it. Shy people aren’t at ease and feel discomfort while meeting new people. But, there is good news that if you make an effort, these behaviors can be changed. However, if left untouched, you’ll find it hard to be successful in the search for a date. Here are some traits common in shy men and women and see if any one of them related to you.

Shy people give too much importance to rejection. While dating, don’t take the whole affair too seriously. It’s a known fact that shy men and women tend to more observational and introverted, so not taking things in a serious way goes against their personality. However, it’s all about the perspective. After all, it’s really impossible to care about someone you’ve just met once. So, keep in mind that the new someone you’re dating doesn't have much influence over your mood, intentions, and feelings. Instead, try to relax and stop thinking about getting rejected.

Shy men and women are people pleasers. Shy people often try to figure out how to make others happy by letting their guards down. Shy people are apathetic, especially when it comes to planning a date with someone new. Instead, of waiting to hear your dates suggestions, try to come up with a few ideas of your own while going out for a date with him or her. By being active, your shy traits will be suppressed quickly. For example, if you date tells you to somewhere he, or she likes, tell them that you would prefer them to accompany you to the museum or the movies.

Shy men and women rarely flirt. Over-flirting can be unpleasant to some, but a little bit of playful flirting will do wonders to your date. Shy individuals often don’t want to be flirtatious and always looks for reasons to relax. So, try to relax and flirt, as while dating you need both of them for a great experience.

Shy people wait for the other person to initiate a conversation topic or make the first move. You can have a great conversation with shy men and women that is if you only ask them. But, getting cozy and have a hearty conversation with someone new can a daunting task for shy folks. However, but having a few dates and setting yourself a time limit like 30 minutes of your date, you can easily overcome you shy behavior and can start a conversation. Meanwhile, shy people also feel uncomfortable while making a move in a date like say kissing. Their minds get stuck about wondering what the other person will think of their advances unless their dates ask or give a hint.

Shy men and women sometimes don’t ask someone for a date – even if they like them or are still interested. For confident folks, it’s preposterous if they ask someone they like for a second date, but for shy people, they simply feel very uncomfortable and anxious about it.

Overall, don’t let your shyness to stop you from asking someone you like for a first date or even second date. If you like someone, ask them. Shy people make this more interesting, and they do have some of the best senses of humor. So, go ask one out for your next date.

What Do You Do When You’re Frustrated with Your Date

It’s natural for people to get angry if we don’t have something we want badly. And it’s even worse when it comes to dating. We understand if you’re becoming angry when you can’t find the perfect mate, even after having dates after dates. Take it as like a job interview, when you can’t land a job even giving a lot of them. Similar, going on many dates, and still failing to find someone to have a lasting relationship can make even the happiest and nicest men and women bitter. It makes perfect sense.

If you think you’re angry about the whole dating process, there are two things you have do. First, honestly admit that the dating process had made you miserable; second, develop a plan that will improve your mood about dating. It will make you attractive to people who are compatible with you.

1. Be clear what kind of relationship you want to have. Ask yourself if you want to date casually or will settle down the moment you meet the right person. Plus, make sure if you’re too strict or relaxed about the qualities and traits you want to see in a partner. Usually, men and women become angry if they can’t find someone who exactly meets their requirements. These folks can’t see the bigger picture. Ask yourself if you have met someone who rigidly fits your traits for the past few months. If you’ve met people who at least met some at least few of your criteria, then go back and see what’s wrong.

2. Besides, ask yourself are you too desperate? Are you anxious and scare people away when you take things too fast too soon? Is that you aren’t trying hard or just want the other person to do all the work? Or are you just bad at communicating your desires and feelings to another person?

3. Be vulnerable with your closest friend. This goes for both men and women. Ask your friend if you’re bad at dating or you just happen to have a bad luck finding good dates. Remember; don’t get defensive when your friend expressed his or her opinion. Instead, take some time off and think about it. You might find some wisdom in it.

4. Try a different dating scene. If online dating is making you frustrated, perhaps it’s time you try other alternatives to meet new people. Visit restaurants, bars, parties, sporting events, or local events and activities with friends. If you keep going to the same places, again and again, it’s very likely that you’ll get bored or angry because you have failed in bringing enough diversity in your social life.

5. Take some time off, relax and soothe your mind when your mood is down. Try getting involved in activities that will make you calm and comfortable. No rigorous exercise routines or screaming allowed. There a lot of ways you can do that; like taking several showers over the week, reading a good book or magazine, write a poem, have a barbecue, have a massage or a manicure, etc.

At some point, sooner or later, our emotions will hit rock bottom, while looking for a perfect mate. If you take a step back and be grateful for the positive events that happened in your life, then certainly you won’t feel bitter anymore and get back to the dating scene again. This time you won’t feel stressed or anxious about finding the right person for a lasting relationship.

8 Signs That Indicate Your Online Match Is A Fraud

If you’re thinking about having a relationship, there are lots of ways to meet people and know them. Apart from the old-fashioned way to meeting people in social events and parties, online dating is fast gaining popularity among tech-savvy young people. Even though online dating is a relatively new way to find your match, it’s no doubt an amazing avenue to meet your match. However, just like everything online, you should be careful when you want to meet and date your online match.

Here are some warning signs that indicate that your online match isn’t exactly what they seem to be and what can you do about it.

1. Fraudsters often aren’t specific what they want in a partner. Therefore, more people will look into their profile and respond to their request. When you contact them, the first they do is compliment your looks, instead of on complimenting on your achievements and knowing about your goals.

2. They say “I love you,” even before they met you in person. How can you tell if it’s real or not, unless they tell that in person? They may sound great on the phone; they make promises that are unrealistic, but when you meet them in the real world, you find them, they aren’t the person you thought they were.

3. Scammers don’t like the email service of the dating site to make contacts. They ask you to contact them directly and send emails using a different service. Remember, you are using a dating site to protect your privacy and from scammers. So, don’t fall for it.

4. They don’t like to answer the questions you asked them in the emails. Even if they respond, it looks like the email is written out by a machine rather than a real person.

5. Fraud online matches want to meet you, but not in the place where you live or your match lives. If you suggest them to meet in the place you both live, they decline it. They want to meet in a location that is not related to you or them.

6. Most of their conversation is about money. A person who makes a good living wants someone who will love them for who they are as a person, not because of their income or money. Fraudsters will brag about their salaries, bank balances, how wealthy they are and so on. Sometimes, they ask about to lend them money and invest in one their businesses or saving schemes and what not. If a person is really interested in you, why should they ask about your finances?

7. They don’t call you. Most are interested in sending texts or emails. They even don’t answer what you ask them. When they call, the conversations are short and inconclusive.

8. They don’t look like they do in the pictures. The pictures they posted in their profiles aren’t of an actual person. Besides, the backgrounds of their pictures aren’t real too in most cases. They take photos in from of a big mansion, a new boat, or swanky restaurant, etc. that shows that they’re wealthy and live an extravagant lifestyle. In real life, it’s a whole different story. So, keep an eye on it.

Finding love online can be a good solution for people who are finding it difficult to meet someone in the traditional paradigm. Just like most things, it can be abused. So, if you see signs like these, they might be a fraud. Don’t waste your time with scammers; instead, focus on finding real love.

5 Signs That Your Date Is A Disaster

When we’re dating someone new, we all look for possible flaws in a partner. Because when you’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to forget all the flaws and only focus on the feelings only. Most people, in particular men, have complained that they fell in love with someone, and after few month or even years, they found that they were dating a crazy person. Their partners have revealed their true selves, and they regretted later why they didn’t realize this earlier in the relationship so that they could end it sooner.

Most people are sympathetic towards these folks as they were blindsided with love. Some don’t feel sad for them, as they paid attention about their dates. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a person for a few months or years, sooner or later, people will show their real character. They’ll reveal they are true personalities for better or for worse. When it happens, you will know about their integrity, character, dedication, and committed in their lives and the relationships as well.

You only need to pay attention and here are five signs that will show if your date is a disaster or a keeper.

1. How does your date treat their family and friends?

Find out how you date treats their friends and family members. Are they generous and helpful to them? How often do they spend time with them? Are they kind towards their friends and family members? If they get sick does your partner shows compassion towards them and take care of them? If your date doesn't love their family and friends, shows little or no compassion towards them when they need it, the chances are that your date will do the same to you ultimately.

2. How does your date talk about their ex?

Does your date constantly talks ill or bashes their ex in front of you and their friends? Are they angry and resentful towards them? If yes, then brace yourself as your date will do the same and talk bad about you in the same fashion, in case, you break up with him or her.

3. Are they good or bad parents?

If you happen to date someone with kids, find out how they treat them. It’s a big indicator to see who they’re as an individual. Do they cater to the needs of their children? Are they active parents? Do they treat their kids like they’re the most important things in their life? Are they providing for them financially? If your date doesn’t make their kids their number one priority, you can pretty much guess what’s in store for you!

4. How often does your date argue?

Does your date freak out or gets overly emotional? Do they fight with your in public and gets very mean? If yes, then it’s time you to get out from that relationship as it’s heading for a disaster.

5. How does your date cope with adversities at life and work?

If anything goes wrong at work or if things don’t go as expected, how does your date deals with it is a great indicator of how he or she will react and handle various calamities in a relationship. Do they get overly dramatic or overreact? Do they break down quickly? It’s okay to get upset if something bad happens, but in life, we have to get over it and move on the next day. If your partner is a drama queen, then please let them go.

So there you go, pay attention to these traits while dating someone new and you’ll get to know the real personality of your partner and never get bamboozled again.