All posts by Dating Guru

Is Your Girlfriend Cheating? Look Out For These Signs To be Sure!

No matter how discreet you’re, when it comes to cheating, there will be signs. How can you be sure that your new love interest isn’t cheating on you? How can you identify the signs? Well, there aren’t any simple answers. But, we can tell you one thing if you’ve been dating someone for five months or more, we can safely say that you know that person pretty good. You can tell whether she’s faithful to you or not.

But unfortunately, some people despite being suspicious that their partners are cheating on them continue with their relationships. The reasons why they do this is because they feel insecure, scared of being alone, or thinking that they won’t be able to find love again. Then there is the emotional pain. So, if you don't want to get scarred emotionally, look out for these three signs.

1. Your Girlfriend Has Cheated In The Past
A simple way to find out if your girlfriend will cheat on you or not, is by checking her past relationships. If she has cheated in the past, there is a chance will be unfaithful in this relationships. But, it’s not absolute, as people change themselves after committing a mistake. Anyways, you won't find this during the first few dates, but the information will eventually come out. As we said, some people who have cheated in their previous relationship won’t do it again. But, some will do it again if they get the opportunity. Therefore, before you decide to take your relationship to the next level, have a serious conversation about it with your new partner, after you learn that she’s cheated in the past.

2. Your Girlfriend Flirts Uncontrollably, Even In Front of You!
This is a common one, as millions of men and women do it. There isn’t harm if your woman checks out other attractive men outside, but if she flirts with them, with you on her side, then you got a problem. It shows that this person craves for attention, and it’s very likely that your girlfriend might indulge in a sexual tryst with someone in your absence. To be in a monogamous and long-term relationship, it’s imperative that you and your partner not to flirt with anyone in front of each other. If your girlfriend can’t honor this simple rule, it’s time you date someone else.

3. Your Girlfriend Is Unavailable or Unreachable
If you notice your new girlfriend becomes unavailable or unreachable during the day or evening all of sudden without telling you anything about it, it can she might be cheating. If someone can’t be reached for a couple of hours, may he/she is busy shopping or working out in the gym. But if that person can’t be contacted for a few hours, mainly at night, we can assume something else might be happening like cheating. Talk your new date and tell her that her suddenly disappearing or absence makes you feel vulnerable and anxious. And, if she still continues it, even after having the conversation, it’s obvious that she’s isn’t interested in this relationship. So, cut your losses and let her go.

Lies About Dating People Tell Us All The Time

Nobody likes a liar, which is why trust and honesty are the most important traits people look for while choosing a partner. Though not all lies are harmful; there are some lies that most of us keep telling ourselves that might actually prevent us from being in a loving relationship.

Below are five common lies we tell ourselves about dating.

I Won’t Fall In Love Again
Even if you don’t believe these words, these words project fear. Mainly men and women who have failed to have a long-lasting relationship say this and believe it too. But, it’s a lie. Don’t mix up the lie with facts and fear, as both are distinct from each other. It’s a fact when you still didn’t found anyone to be in a loving relationship, but if you keep telling yourself that you’ll never find love in the future, it’s all fear.

I Don’t Deserve More
This is by far a vicious lie. Men and women who believe in this stay in relationships not right for them, and also prevent them from exploring a new relationship. This myth is dangerous that it makes individuals too scared to get out from a dysfunctional or even an abusive relationship. We suggest talking with a therapist if someone believes in this absurd notion.

It’s Better To Be In Dysfunctional Or Bad Relationships Than Being Alone
Some people assume that it’s okay to be in a relationship with the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend than being single or if they can’t find their match. This lie acknowledges that fact it’s perfectly okay for men and women to be accepting and comfortable in being relationships with the wrong person. We can safely tell that no good will come from such a lifeless and mediocre relationship. Even if both of them got married, it’s just a matter of time that the marriage will end up in a divorce.

Love At First Sight Is True
Most people just don’t give enough to know about themselves or understand the importance of the essential qualities a man or a woman must have to be in a fruitful and lasting relationship. These individuals often evaluate their first dates based on delusional criteria like physical attractiveness or whether they had any chemistry with their dates. Some of these men and women will dismiss a good match only because they thought they didn’t feel any chemistry immediately, or they weren’t satisfied by their physical attraction.

Ignoring Bad Things Will Make It Go Away
Some folks think if they find any flaws in the person they’re dating, ignoring it will make them forget about it or it just simply goes away! Things just don’t go away, and people don’t change. If your instincts tell you this person isn’t right for you, but you’re too afraid to say him or her because they’ll leave you, it’s a short-term solution. As the relationship matures over time, these flaws will be the main reasons for the demise of your relationship.

If you’re ready for a relationship, the first important step for you to take is to recognize and reject the lies that will prevent you from having a healthy, committed relationship. So, embrace the truth, and you’ll be in a happy and long-term relationship.

Why Do Men Stay in Loveless Relationships?

When you’re in a relationship, a situation may come in your life where you find yourself in a sad and loveless relationship, and doing everything you can to end it and move on. But, you decided to stay even its severe affecting your personal, social and professional life. Your friends, family, and people acquainted with are asking why you are still in the relationship despite the fact that it’s causing you so much pain.

Here are five reasons most men stay in dysfunctional relationships and not trying to get out of it:

1. Emotional Inertia
Some men don’t want to get out of loveless relationships because they’ve invested a lot of their time and energy in this relationship, and don’t want start all over again. They don’t want to waste any more time and effort figuring out what you need and don’t need, establishing boundaries and defending them. It’s their bad habits and laziness that have prevented from moving forward and finding new love again.

2. Worried About Conflict
Breaking up with your girlfriend you’ve been in a relationship for some time can rife with conflicts and tumultuous. It’s one of the most unfortunate and painful chapters in one’s life. A lot of men and women, who are in unhappy relationships for months and years, won’t break up, as they’re too afraid of the pain involved in ending the relationship, coping with it and moving on.

3. Fear of Being Alone
Some men are so are frightened of being alone after a breakup; they believe it’s better to be unfulfilling relationships than being spending alone time in their homes watching TV. They would give up finding someone new and have a happy and fulfilling relationship, simply for the fact that they won't find love again. Therefore, spending time with a woman is preferable for them rather than having no one to be with.

4. They’re Fearful of Change
We all fear change. Fear of the unknown can put our lives into uncertainty. But, nothing stays forever, not even mountains and the rivers. So, you’ll find love again, no matter how many bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Don’t allow the fear of change to keep you away from good things, and move on when the time comes.

5. Fear of Dating
A Lot of guys find dating to be very stressful. This is especially true if they’ve out of the dating scene for a while. Sure, meeting new people is exciting, but when it comes to dating, you’ve to meet someone else’s expectations. On the flip side, you also realize that the new woman you’re dating is also finding it difficult to meet your expectations.

Thinking of all these possible scenarios is stressful, uncomfortable and might discourage many guys to stay out of dating. But, it’s possible that you can meet someone new that’s right for you. But, you can find anyone if you don’t try.

If you’re in a loveless relationship and thinking that it’s time to make a change in your romantic life and start anew, then don’t allow apathy, and fear to prevent you from finding love again.

What You Should Do Immediately After a Breakup

There is one common thing in couples, who are coming out of bad relationships. It appears that most of them are blaming themselves for the end of their relationship. They’re also criticizing themselves for not doing enough to fix it. Many acknowledged that they stayed in relationships not right for them for a long time, and always knew there was one thing they were doing all wrong. They said that if they could have figured it, their relationship would have been in a much better state. But, the relationship had to be ended as none of the partners realized there is no such thing.

The thing is they’ve their own well-being a priority. So, if anything went wrong in the relationship, they deliberately mistreated their boyfriends or girlfriends, and also pardoned their partners for their mistakes. And when something even bad happens, and the relationship ends for it, they’ve no one to blame but themselves.

So, what is the most compelling thing you should do after a breakup?

Apart from starting a new relationship to get over the pain of the past relationship, which doesn’t work all the time, there is one important thing for you need to understand. You must know that you’re important. Your views and opinions matter just like your standards and values. The best way to be in a successful relationship is to know how to spend time with yourself and assessing your well-being.

Before finding someone new to date again, do something that you always wanted to do or like to do. Get in touch with your hobbies, and if you don’t have one, do the things that interest you. Reunite with your friends; visit your family members and find meaningful and fun activities that you can call your own.

Dating is exciting and intoxicating. You can easily be attracted to someone you like, and things get even better if he or she likes you in return. But, if you’re just coming out from a breakup, then things can get a little tricky. You’ll realize that anyone who is kind or likes you, you find him or her to be very attractive and exciting. Sometimes, the experiences of meeting and dating new people can get so intoxicating that you see yourself always thinking about that person or talking to him or her when you’re all alone.

Nonetheless, if you believe in valuing yourself as an individual, you should stay away from the dating scene for a while, and focus on what important to you. Stay true to yourself and your life. Spend quality time with old friends and closest family members. It’s the healthy relationships that enhance and enriches a person’s life, while bad relationships make you feel miserable.

Embarking on a new relationship is all about maintaining the balance with yourself, your family and friends, your hobbies, your interests and your new love interest. While dating someone new, put your happiness first. Always take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. If you want to be in a happy, long-lasting relationship, the first thing you need to do is to enjoy being in a relationship with yourself, and love yourself. A good boyfriend or a girlfriend just complements it.

7 Biggest Complaints Women Have About Men

Women adore men. It’s just that certain behaviors actually make them insane. Some of these are so bad that if you don’t do anything about them, you’ll have a hard time landing a date! Anyways, here are some of the major complaints women have about the men they love.

1. Doesn’t Dress or Act Like A MAN
We all have to grow up at some point. So, ditch your cartoon t-shirts, please! Women absolutely hate it when they’ve to remind their boyfriends to dress and act like a mature man. There are a time and place to have fun and act like a teenager, but refusing to take responsibility and grow up can be a deal breaker for most women who are looking for a mature to be in a committed relationship.

2. Mr. Angry
A man with this trait is a difficult type to deal with when it comes to relationships. Women feel very fragile like eggshells when they’re with a guy who seems to be always angry at the world. So, guys, cool yourself down, if you don’t want your girlfriend to run away from you.

3. Mr. Possessive
Similar to angry guys, it’s also hard to date someone who treats their women like possessions. Women want men to be a part of their lives, not their possessions. Don’t check up on your girlfriend constantly, grill her if she has any friends of the opposite sex, or does she keep any contact with her exes. Also, stop telling her what she can and can’t do.

4. Everything Is About You
Women want their partners to pay attention to things they like, and take an interest in their lives and themselves. They don’t want to be with guys who are overly self-obsessed and doesn’t show any interests to their partners’ needs or wants. If you desire to have a successful relationship, then both partners should be caring and watchful of each other’s needs.

5. It’s All Talk, No Action
Women have a big problem with men whose words aren’t followed by actions. Some men say they’re going to something, but in the end, they don’t follow through. One simple would be that if a man promised his girlfriend that he would call her or take her on a dinner date, but in the end, he does none of it. Guys, be open and honest about who you are and where you are in life. If you get that right, your women will love and respect your more than ever.

6. Too Much, Too Fast
Another big complaint ladies have against men is that they rush into things too soon in the relationship. We are talking about those guys who in their second or third date start having a conversation regarding marriage, kids, family, etc. Some women may find this very invasive of their personal space. These sensitive topics can only be discussed when both parties are in an exclusive and committed relationship.

7. You’re Not Fully Honest About What You Want
This is by far one of the biggest complaints we see from women about guys. We see men tell a woman that they ready to pursue her, commit to her, but later when things start to get serious, they freak out, or in some case disappear. If men could be genuine with themselves, their partners, and what they want from the relationship, women would appreciate them more.

What Is Your Dating Type? The Physical Or The Emotional?

If you’ve been dating for a while and found that your dates aren’t turning into full-fledged relationships, it’s highly likely that you aren’t dating someone who is your type. Maybe you’re confused about your dating type. Either you’re going for the wrong physical type or the wrong emotional type.

Read on to find out more:

Your Physical Type
When you’re out dating people, do they have a particular physical type? Are you dating men or women who have specific physical attributes that you like? For example, do you see people with particular hair color or physique? Is the age of your date important to you? We mean that do you like dating someone older or younger than you? Do you date people who have tattoos or piercings? Do you date people who dress differently like a “Goth”? Do you like your men to be clean shaved, goatee or with a full beard? When you’re dating, think about all the physical traits that get you feel attracted to someone as it might help you assess what kind of people you like.

Your Emotional Type
Think for some time and describe the emotional type of individuals you feel attracted to? For example, are you attracted to people who are narcissists or selfless? Ask yourself if you’re attracted to passive types who do what you want, sarcastic types, alpha types who take command, depressive types, serious types, introvert types, extrovert types, “life of the party types,” etc. To make it easy recall your past relationship and the type of your person your date was at that time.

How To Figure Out you’re dating either the wrong physical type or the wrong emotional type?
When you’re dating someone not right for you, whether the wrong physical type or emotional type, you’ll realize that there is a pattern that your dates aren’t turning into full-blown relationships. Sure, you’ve second and even a third dates, but nothing happens beyond that. Also, if you happen to turn your dates into relationships, it fizzles out within a month or two. In short, no matter what you do, your dates don’t turn into long-term relationships. You can also tell that you’re dating the wrong type is when your friends or family tell your straightaway that the person you’re dating isn’t your kind.

So, what can you do to turn your dates into committed, long-term relationships? Plain and simple, consider dating people whom you would ever think of dating before. But, make sure that they’re good, decent and outstanding folks. Ask out the woman who has a different ethnicity or cultural background than yours, or date the guy who is bald or a little weight.

Remember, flexibility and openness to accept different things are essential in finding a great relationship. People may be different when it comes to a physical feature, or how much money he or she has, or how emotional or angry he or she is, but deep down inside we all want the same thing. That is a having an emotional and intimate connection with someone who loves us consistently, and someone we can trust to be there for us, support us, and comfort us in the future.

Want Some Incredible Insights About Relationships? Read On!

Relationships go down mainly when communication breaks down, blaming each other instead of taking accountability, trust is destroyed, and failure to show appreciation for each other. So, what can you do not to allow these problems creep into your existing relationships? Here are some surprising insights.

• We make our own choices. We make them every day. We have the choice of being in relationships with the people we meet. We have the option to make a person smile, laugh, change or motivate him or her, etc. We have the choice to treat people around us better. Think about how many times you failed to connect with someone when you met him or her, or making a good friend because you failed to smile, or to say ‘hello,’ or do something nice for them. Remember, proactive choices always bring in good results.

• Trust people. Things would have been much better if we started to treat people with good intentions and trusted them more. Trust is essential if you want to have a healthy and long-term relationship. If you trusted your partner more, suspicion disappears, and the possibilities of misinterpreting your partner’s opinions, behavior and action decrease. Trust people more, unless you have a good reason not to trust.

• Don’t have expectations of other people. You’re the controller of your life. Don’t put expectations on other people or your boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you want to see yourself set for disappointment and failure. We can encourage others, challenge them, and hold them responsible for their actions, but eventually, we will get disappointed or discouraged if we keep expecting things from them. Instead, we need to focus on your own qualities, time, energy, and our own impact on our relationships. Now, see the results unfold for itself.

• Be thankful. Be thankful and appreciate all the good things that have happened to in your relationship. When we realize how much we have to be thankful for, and actively and compassionate understand and recognize those things, we become happier.

• Living life to the fullest doesn’t exist. Most people always like to relish only the pain and the agony in their relationships excluding all the good things their relationships have given them. They like to talk about all the bad things that have happened to them or how their partners are making them feel miserable. Then there are the usual banters about finances, why the other partner is less responsible in the relationship, and so on. The truth is we all can have happy and fulfilling lives if we choose to, despite all the chaos or how pessimistic things are around us. Don’t be the victim. It's impossible to control what will happen to you, but you can control how you react to it.

• People are beautiful. It’s your responsibility to find the beauty in them. Many men and women looking for a relationship approach their dates with an expectation and to prove themselves how great they are. They only tell about themselves, and after the date, you start wondering that the other person didn’t ask anything about you, your life, or your interests. It’s upsetting and exhausting. Instead, you’ll feel better about yourself if you be curious and have the desire to learn more about other people.

Should You Settle For A Man or Woman You Haven’t Met in Person?

When it comes to online dating, some men and women become so obsessed with someone they’ve met online that they can’t let them go or forget about them. In spite their matches told them they don’t like them, don’t treat you well and even has refused to meet them in person, they still have love and affection for him or her. This is preposterous, but it happens.

They know that this isn’t right, and want to move on. But, how? Here are some helpful tips to help you to get past this phase.

First things, first. If your online partner has made it clear that he or she won’t meet you, and they would be a terrible partner for you, believe it. Stop thinking about him or her, and don’t try to meet or win them again. Now, let’s talk about the feelings for him or her. We understand they might be significant, but if you haven’t even met them even once, then they’re simply feelings and emotions you’ve about them. They aren’t about them; it’s all about your desperate desire to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So, the primary concern here is – you. You’ve decided to be in a relationship with someone who treats you isn’t worthy of your love. He or she hasn’t even been caring or kind enough to meet you. It shows that you’re very needy and insecure, and you might be easily be mistreated by others.

Therefore, the best course of action here would be is to raise your standards. Finding a person who is right for can be very, very hard. But, settling for a man or woman who isn’t right for you is wrong. Tell yourself that you deserve a better partner. Tell yourself you want to be with someone who will treat you with kindness and respect. Sometimes, you’ll find it difficult to say, believe or even relate to it, but say it anyways. Write it in your journal. Tell it all aloud when you wake up in the morning. At first, they won’t mean much to you, but as you continue repeating them, it will help you to set up a standard and will remind you to stay away from someone who is the right partner for you.

Also, raise your standards for how you’re treated, not just in romantic relationships. If someone says something demeaning or offensive to you, don’t reply back. Instead, give them a confused look and get away from it. Fight or arguing here is futile. Walk away from anyone who tries to put you down. Stand up for yourself. Keep doing it for a while, and notice how you gain strength from within. A significant advantage of this process is that it will help you to reject all the negative ideas and thoughts others are projecting onto you.

Go to people who will offer you the care, respect and the kindness you deserve. Join a local support group, meet your close friends and family members, and if you can afford it, visit a therapist. Surrounding yourself with kind, compassionate people will help to with the difficulties of finding a partner. There won’t be instant results, but surrounding yourself with good people friends and family will make the pain of loneliness more manageable, and continue with your life, with or without a partner.

Are You Being Stigmatized Because You Don’t Have A Boyfriend?

There are no relationships without issues. There are fights, arguments, and misunderstandings among the partners and some relationships are so problematic that there isn’t anything to do other than ending it. That’s not all. Couples tend to blame each other for the demise of their relationship, while some men and women held themselves fully accountable for it.

Sometimes, things get out of control so much that these people, particularly women, are stigmatized or frowned upon, which makes it tough for them to find someone new, and start anew. These women begin to believe that there is something wrong with them, and that’s why no man would like to date them or don’t want to be in a committed and long-term relationship with them.

So, what can you do about this sad incident?

First, forgive yourself. You apparently loved your ex in your previous relationships, and you had to get out the relationship because you and your boyfriend weren’t compatible with each other, or the relationship ran out love. Therefore, forgive yourself. It wasn’t your fault.

Now, let’s talk what other people think of you. The truth is you can’t control what other folks think about you. You can only control yourself. It’s slow, but it works. Most people talk about improving their self-esteem after a breakup or when they can’t find someone. But, we never found that very helpful.

How are you supposed to improve your self-esteem when you feel depressed and worn out? So instead, of working on your self-esteem, we believe working on your self-respect will be more fruitful. It’s a lot simpler to gain self-respect. Only behave in a way that you find respectful. Think about the people you respect. Notice how they act. What behaviors do you see in them that make you think highly of them? Do their kindness and courtesy attract you? Is it that they don’t like someone who gets dragged down? Do you like how they support someone who needs it? Do you like someone who is confident and humble at the same time?

Now, ask yourself, are you that person? If not can you be that person? Even if you be that person, it won’t immediately change the way others see you. But, it surely will reduce the influence they’ve over you. When you’ve self-respect, you’ll realize that something funny will happen, when people around you try to make you feel about yourself. That is it won’t like it used to. Having self-respect also helps you to develop good taste in people. You can evaluate which kinds of people treat others, good or bad. Also, those people will see it in you. It’s like a magical power, and we all know these magical powers don’t come overnight.

Self-respect also instills self-compassion in you. If you say something wrong or bad-mouthing someone, or even self-deprecating yourself – don’t make this all about yourself. Don’t beat yourself for it. Don’t tell yourself that you behaved badly. Don’t think your honesty and compassion is running low. Changes come slowly. So, the next time, you’re looking for someone, and they didn’t find you attractive, remind yourself that everything is fine, and you’ll do better next time.

3 Reasons You’re Always Attracting Men Who Won’t Commit

We keep hearing the same thing over and over again from women looking for a committed relationship. What’s wrong with men today? No matter how hard they try or confident they tend to feel, most of them happen to date guys who just don’t want a commitment. Then there are the men want to get married labeled as boring and the ones who don’t are hot and sexy but are eccentric when it comes to settling for an exclusive and long-term relationship.

If you’re one of those people having a hard time meeting committal men or women, then the actual problem isn’t with the selection out there. It’s within your own mind. You can keep blaming all the singles in your age group, the quality of men and women looking for dates online, or the lack of people you like to have a committed relationship out there. This is, in fact, a trick played by your subconscious mind to shift the responsibility to some external circumstances, and distract you from the real truth or what is actually happening. You will change your results when you find the truth. You see everything around us is driven by a cause.

In other words, for every effect, there is a cause. To get this into perspective, at first, you need to look at your results. For example, an effect will be if you’re persistently attracting non-committal men and women. Next, you’ve to understand what is causing the effect you’re experiencing at the moment. When you look at things outside of yourself for the cause, you lack the power that is needed to change it. If you for the cause within yourself, you can be empowered in transforming your experiences and attracting the kind of love you desire.

Now, if you are sure about what you were feeling or thinking to cause it, it’s very likely that you would have changed it that is if you really don’t want to have any love. Anyways, here are the main reasons why you may be attracting partners who won’t commit to a long-term relationship.

1. You aren’t committed to having a boyfriend or a girlfriend and are unaware of it. There is high chance that your subconscious mind is telling you to remain single. The solution here is to ask yourself what benefits are you receiving from staying single and is it worth abandoning these benefits to be in a committed relationship.

2. You’re looking for a quick fix for love. People who are looking for fast love usually say all the right things, and do all the right things to create an instant relationship. However, these instant relationships end as quickly as they conceive. The solution here is to address the root causes of why you want to have a quick fix for love. If you tackle this issue, you’ll stop attracting men and women who are into short-term relationships.

3. You’re scared of emotional intimacy with someone you love. It’s not only that emotional intimacy makes you worried, but you also don’t want to deal with emotional intimacy. All you want is physical or sexual intimacy with him or her, as it’s much easier than emotional intimacy. The solution here is to deal with tragedies of your past relationship that has made you feel afraid of fully opening up to a partner. If you’re scared of getting too intimate physically or emotionally, you’ll also be less confident and afraid to do the deep work required to heal this problem.