Did you ever found yourself arguing or complaining about something you and your partner disagree about? Do you and your girlfriend have different opinions about what defines a good time and complain about it all the time? If yes, then you’re not alone.
In most relationships, often, we see that one person is more extroverted than the other. He or she is more excited about going to bars, parties, meeting new people, making new friends, inviting people to dinner, and so on. Meanwhile, the other person in the relationship is more introverted. He or she might be happier or comfortable to stay home, have a nice and quiet dinner date with his or her partner, and only hang out and spend time with a close group of friends. The introverted partner doesn’t like to meet new people or be friends with them. This can be a frustrating experience for both. The more extroverted person often feels their social life is being shorted because their spouses won’t accompany them in the things or activities they want to do. On the hand, the introvert feels pressured and blames themselves just for being who they are.
Of course, if you pause and think about it, you’ll see there are a lot of qualities and behaviors that make you both different from each other, and it’s totally normal.
Your partner loves cats, but you’re a dog loves. You like to play sports; your girlfriend doesn’t. The point it that the two of most likely figured out ways to make your relationships despite the differences, so why make this one a deal breaker? To manage or make your “sociability gap” more tolerable, the best approach you can take it to try and neutralize the conversation, whenever this “sociability gap” gets surfaced. Imagine you want to attend a big dinner party your friend is having, and your girlfriend being an introvert, would not like to go. No one is right or wrong here. So, don’t get upset or angry or let this escalate into something bigger.
Avoid saying over-generalized and counterproductive statements like, “You never want to do anything with me!” or “Your friends are so annoying, that why I don’t want to go!” Statements like that will only make both of you fight with each other and create resentment and tension in the relationship.
Instead, stay positive and focus on the issue at hand. There are other options than you can consider:
- You could show up at the party by yourself. Simply enjoy with your friends without resentment, while your spouse does something they would enjoy such as calling a close friend for a drink at the local bar, go shopping or stay home and watch a good movie.
- The two of you could go the party together but decides to leave when your partner is ready probably after dinner or maybe before the host pops up the champagne bottles.
- When everything fails, check the guest list. See whether if there is someone in the list your partner would enjoy seeing, a friend may be. It might make her go the party.
If you’re dating someone or in a relationship, both of you want to be heard and respected. So, whatever compromises you make, ensure that it is fair to both.