Category Archives: Breakups

Top Questions You Should Ask Yourself After A Breakup

The breakup is one of the saddest parts of someone’s life that can change an entire world of happiness to frustration and bleakness.

However, clearing up the confusions that are killing you is probably the best way to bring you some inner peace. Ask questions to yourself and think about them to find out the appropriate answers. Here are 6 questions that you should ask yourself when things are jamming up in your head and causing extreme mental disruptions-

1. Why did this breakup happen?
Finding the right answer to this question might weight off from your shoulder which had been pressed for a long. If you remain shocked thinking of why this happened to you, it will do nothing but stop you start a new life. Use your conscience to get the most rational answers. In this way, you can get a clear answer to this question.

2. Did I fully understand him/her properly?
Mutual understanding breeds mutual respect which keeps your relationship alive and going. Misunderstanding and complaining are certainly going to end up in a bad break up sooner or later. So, ask yourself if you understood your partner correctly. If the answer is negative, don’t hold onto your regrets. It was inevitable.

3. What did I expect out of that relationship?
The real life is no movie where the hero and heroine live happily ever after. Life goes through a lot of ups and downs. When someone lives in a romantic relationship, his/her expectations might go beyond reality. They daydream and expect to fulfill all of their wishes. Analyzing your expectations and the possibilities towards their fulfillment can hold a logical explanation of your breakup.

4. Did I give my 100% to my partner?
Maintaining a healthy relationship requires full dedication from both you and your partner. So, even if it’s true that your partner did not put enough efforts to save the relationship, don’t forget to turn the question mark to yourself. Be honest with the truth and admit your lacking that could have led it to the breakup!

5. Who changed and why?
You probably remember those early days of your relationship when everything seemed heavenly with your partner. If the charm that used to make you spellbound doesn’t attract you anymore, there must have been something wrong. Find out why things are not as they used to be. Why you or your partner have changed that aided the breakup.

If the toll is on you, you must suffer the consequences. But if it’s your partner’s fault, you should be happy that you’ve lost someone who was not right for you.

6. What are my plans for myself?

Since you’ve gone through a lot to endure the pain of the breakup, you should ask yourself about the next move. Make some realistic plans to restart your life and take corrective actions to turn into a better version of yourself. If you are still unsure about the reasons of Breakup, Why You can’t get a girlfriend blog post will help you get the answer.

The best thing about these questions is not only eliminating your confusions but also ensuring your personal growth. It eventually makes you a better human being with a great maturity level.


4 Scientific Facts About Breakups

Don't you think that science is everywhere? Yes, science does exist in all the occurrences around and within us. The relationship between men and women is a divine thing on earth but when two people decide to walk on different roads, breakup inevitably comes in their way.

Going through the consequences of a breakup is like living in the hell. Though time heals everything, the healing process doesn't end in a day. Here are four scientific facts about a breakup that may help you introduce with the reality and heal your wounds faster –

1. Stalking you ex on social platforms makes is tough to forget them
The rule of thumb to follow after a breakup is to create a permanent distance with your partner. Since staying separated is both of your mutual decision, respect it. Scientists have found that staying connected to your ex on Facebook or Instagram interrupts the healing and it becomes tougher to move on with life. Unfriending or unfollowing your ex can be as effective as ripping off your bandage.
2. Enduring a breakup is as hard as stopping a drug addiction

The area of the brain which is sensitive to the feeling of affection is the same area that is engaged with the feeling of drug addiction. A comparison between the brains of people in love and the people in breakup showed significant differences in cells pattern of the brain. They also studied on the brains of drug-addicted people and found similarities with that of the individuals with a breakup. It's logical why breakups are so painful.

3. Men suffer more than women in the long run
A study from the Binghamton University found that women are more hurt than men at the initial stage of a breakup but men struggle more to move on and forget everything. It happens because women are usually more dedicated to maintaining a relationship. When a woman goes through a breakup, she might be very upset, but deep inside she knows that she did her best. On the other hand, a man gradually finds out the things that he overlooked for months or years, and it mentally kills him mentally.

4. Relationships become fragile when women earn more
Though it's the right of every woman to work and earn as much as she deserves, men hardly appreciate this fact. Women are considered as the thread that binds the whole family together. The society still bothered with the fact that maintaining a happy family is the prime duty of a woman. For this reason, when a woman earns more, works extra hours till the night, or attends business parties, she fails to look after the family. It aids her man's extramarital affair, a breakup or even leads to divorce.

Some other scientific facts include suffering from identity crisis, degradation of values or going astray. People also make suicidal attempts when they fail to digest the pain of separation. However, it's found that studying on breakups and their consequences help people get over it soon.


6 Things To Consider Before the Breakup

It’s sad that you’re facing some problems in your relationship. You’ve tried your best to make things turn around, but failed miserably, again and again. Now, you're kind of sure that this relationship isn’t going anywhere. You’ve decided to break up, but before you make a final decision, we suggest you ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I just angry or resentful?
One major reason why most men and women decide to break up is that they’re exhausted or in the middle of unresolved conflicts in their relationship. Deciding to end your relationship in this way just indicates that it’s an emotional one. Wait until you feel calm and less angry and rethink about all the emotional consequences of a break up before you call it quits.

2. Can the relationship be saved?
Are you sincere in saving this relationship? Is there anything in the relationship that’s worth giving it a second chance? If there is a conflict in the relationship, try a healthy approach to resolving it. Express your concerns, make your voice heard, and be accountable for your actions. Listen to your partner and be sensitive to his or her feelings. Give your best shot in the relationship. Avoid blaming your partner for the demise of your relationship, when you haven’t given your best to the relationship. Don’t let love die without a fight.

3. Did you communicate openly what you need in the relationship?
Did you share your feelings and needs with you partner before the breakup? Always choose communication than dismissing your relationship. Improving communication with your partner will reignite the romance and understanding in your relationship. It will also contribute to an intimate understanding of what’s causing the relationship to end. If you’ve been unsuccessful in resolving the problems in your relationship, don’t jump to conclusions quickly. Don’t automatically assume that you’re unhappy because you’re in a bad relationship. Is there is any guarantee that you’ll be happy if you leave this relationship or remain single?

4. Don’t play breakup games.
If you think that giving threats of a breakup will bring you both closer together, forget about it. Don’t pay to break up games or any other games with either of your hearts. If you want to make your relationship great again, invest your time and energy in the relationship.

5. Is anyone influencing you to end the relationship?
Assess whether your friends or family members are advising or influencing you to end the relationship. Evaluate their motives, and talk with them about it. Maybe these have seen some red flags in the relationship that can’t be fixed or ignored. So, they’re coercing you toward a split. Or maybe they’ve bad, selfish and unhealthy reasons for it.

6. Will I regret leaving the relationship?
Before breaking up, think about your life change after it. Your social life will become complicated, so will your housing situation. Your daily routine will no longer be the same. There is a chance that things will get more stressful and overwhelming that the break up itself. Therefore, ask yourself if ending your relationship is something you’ll regret deep down.

Sometimes things always don’t get better as planned, and ending a romantic relationship is a good example. So, we would suggest you take all possible steps to make improvements and resolve problems in your relationship which not only include the emotional bonding but also needs to take care the physical needs as well. We prefer to hold on rather than ending it.


Is My Partner Lying To Me In The Relationship?

You and your partner know very well that if you both want to enjoy a healthy relationship, you both need to maintain trust in the relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend seems suspicious of each other, then it’s high that your relationship is facing some issues regarding faithfulness and fidelity. Or it can be that either has questions about your partner’s financial situation or job or simply it might be that he or she has something to hide in his or her past relationships.

Regardless of what the exact issue is, it feels wrong to suspect that your significant other isn’t fully being honest with you. Therefore if you assume that your fears are real, ask yourself these questions.

Has My Spouse Given Me Any Reason To Doubt Him Or Her In The Past?
If yes, then you’ve every right to be concerned about the relationship. If you see that there is a pattern of dishonesty, instead of getting all defensive and arguing about it, the best and responsible thing to do is to address it in a meaningful way. However, if your spouse has continuously earned your trust in the past, then use your trust to discard these new concerns.

Should I Communicate My Doubts To My Boyfriend Or Girlfriend?
Yes, you should. If not, these questions and fears will consistently keep on nagging you and will hold to connect to your partner in a loving, meaningful and intimate way. After all, it won’t be possible for you to fully emotionally bond with another person and move forward in your relationship, unless you get rid of all shortcomings about that person’s honesty. So, you’ll need to encourage the other person to fully explain him or her to you, find out the truth and put all of fears and insecurities to rest.

Am I Ready to Forgive My Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, and Move Forward?
Of course, there are some trusts that if they’ve been breached that you can’t and shouldn’t move past them. They’ll eventually kill your relationship, even the healthiest ones. On the other hand, there are circumstances that in spite of a tough moment between two lovers, it strengthens the romantic relationship. Having to deal with significant problems in the relationship can bring the couple closer, deepen their understanding of each other, and help them redefine the exact definition of a romantic relationship.

What Kinds Of Changes Are Imperative To Make?
If you’ve determined that you’ll stay with your partner despite everything, then it highly crucial that you communicate your wants, needs, and expectations. Discuss what changes should be made in the relationship. Be clear to your partner that you want things to you and in the relationship be based trust, integrity, and honesty. Meanwhile, if you’ve reached an understanding that there were no breaches of trust and that the whole thing was a misunderstanding, and then you can use this experience in improving the communication and trust between the two of you. The thing is when you’re in a relationship; you should both commit protecting each other and to prioritizing the relationship regardless of what has or hasn’t occurred.


When To Stop Communicating With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

We hear about it from everyone. There aren’t any relationships where there aren’t any fights or arguments. Folks say, “When you two are fighting, the best thing you should do is to communicate,” “You both have to talk it through,” and so on. Well, all those are good suggestions. But, what happens when we can through our disagreements or argument simply by good communication?

Your best approach to diffuse these situations is simply to stop talking. Here are five particular times when being quiet is best than talking more.

1. Stop Talking When Another Person Isn’t Ready To Talk
People, sometimes, aren't in a mood to have a fruitful discussion. It might be that he or she is sad, busy with something; working, or is intensely focused on something else, or is just simply uncomfortable or feels uneasy with the topic. If you’ve something on your mind and your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t ready to have a conversation about it, don’t force him or her about the issue. But, let your partner know that you want to talk, and also remind him or her to tell when they are ready to talk.

2. Stop Talking When You’ve Said It A Thousand Times
If you’ve been telling your significant other not to chew his food with his mouth open, or you both consistently arguing how long should it take to get ready, and you didn’t find any solid results, then maybe it’s time you two stop talking about it and give it a rest. At some point, you’ve got to come to the conclusion that all those talking haven’t yielded any success or a good solution. In other words, you simply have to agree to disagree and stop talking about it, say, for six months.

3. Stop Talking When One Of You Is Being Unreasonable
If you see that in an argument one of partner’s acting weird or is being unreasonable with his or her propositions, then your best move here will be just to pull back from the conversation. Many couples have irrational discussions despite knowing that one of the partners is in an irrational space. This argument won’t be solved, and it will never work. So, the next time you find yourself in an illogical argument, stop having any serious discussions and give him or her some space for sanity.

4. Stop Talking if you’re Time is Limited
You know that new movie you’re waiting to see will start in five minutes, or your friends will be at your place for dinner at any minute. You’ve only a limited amount of time, and if you initiate a conversation about something important or that you really care about, then count it as one of your worst moments. The danger is when you introduce a topic, and your partner said something about it that you can agree or don’t want to admit, you’ll have to stop the conversation before things begin to heat up emotionally.

5. Stop Talking When You’re Tired
When we are feeling tired, we get more irritated, more defensive, less tolerant, less reasonable, and our patience grows thin. All these are recipes for a wrong conversation. So, do yourself, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and your relationship a favor, and stop having any serious discussion when one or both of are unusually tired.

If you’re in a relationship, if you remain aware of whatever is occurring regarding your relationship, you’ll much better off to know when it’s imperative to talk, and it’s for the best to just remain silent.


Ask Yourself These 4 Questions If You’re Angry At Your Boyfriend

In a relationship, it’s common for two people to get into arguments about romance, commitment, intimacy, personal feelings, duties, and responsibilities. If we can’t find common ground, both parties become angry, disappointed and resentful to each other. If it goes on for a long time, and no substantial steps have been taken to address the issues, it can ruin the relationship. If you're worried about your man who has given extra responsibilities in your relationship, then before jumping into any conclusion ask yourself these few important questions.

We have seen many women who feel deprived or never get recognition for all they do in their romantic relationships. Many women tried to give extra efforts to make their relationship healthier and sacrificed so many things for a better relationship. But, at the end of the day, they wonder how they can uphold their dignity to the relationship. So, the next time you are fed up with a man, ask yourself these questions first:

1. Am I Putting In More Effort Than Him?
When you’re frustrated with your relationship or angry with your man, it often indicates you are giving more efforts than your partner. It can be defining as well as over functioning. Over functioning occurs when you are working hard to gain the affection or attention from him, or it may also happen when you’re obsessed with him. When you invest too much energy to your man, you're only putting the extra pressure in a relationship. You will be exhausted; you’ll feel less attached to each other, and the communication breaks down, which creates a distance between the two individuals. You’ll be in more frustrated with yourself, as your efforts backfire, which leads you another question.

2. Am I Treating Myself Well?
The more time you spent in making your partner happy, the less time you have for yourself to take of yourself, and yes, we are also talking about your appearance. A man wants to see her partner well-dressed, sexy, and more desirable. If you do so, he’s attraction towards you will grow as well as the will to spend more time with you. Often, women think that their partner’s are mistreating them, but it’s we are mistreating ourselves without taking proper care of ourselves. How can we expect love and respect from a man if we don’t love ourselves?

3. Are My Needs Fulfilled?
We, women, have a habit of not expressing our true feelings. We want a man to read our emotions. But we can't expect noticed without communicating what we want and need in a relationship. When you talk about your needs, you may end up making poor choices that perhaps won’t be suitable for you. If you’re a shy person or introverted, it will prevent your partner to know yourself truly. He may conceive wrong assumptions about you. If you are angry with your boyfriend for something, talk to him directly. Don't keep words to yourself; share it with your partner. Otherwise, it may lead to serious consequences.

4. Am I Trying Too Hard To Control The Outcome and My Boyfriend?
In fear of being hurt or losing their partners, most women try to manipulate the results in the hope of a better relationship, but in reality, it sours up the relationship. Be fair with you and with your relationship. Often we imagine our relationships in our heads how a relationship is “supposed to be,” and we end up feeling disappointed by the outcomes. If you waste all your time and energy to manage a man and a relationship, you lose out on finding how a man feels about you.


6 Ways To Get Over Your Heartbreak

Breakups knock us down in just about every way imaginable. We lose our relationships, our lifestyles, our self-esteem, our confidence, our happiness, our hopes, our dreams, and so on. Every loss takes us lower and lower into the depths of despair. But, you can get over it and move on with your life. Plenty of people have been through breakups and made it. You keep on wondering what they did or know about that helped them recover from heartbreak.

Well, here are six steps to help you move on and be happy again, even after a serious and painful breakup.

1. Accept The Reality That Getting Over A Breakup Won’t Be Easy
Getting over the end of your relationship isn’t by no means is easy. Some men and women have struggled for years before they got over their heartbreak and started dating again. Because this time is so difficult, we suggest that you be gentle and patient with yourself. Being compassionate with yourself will help get through it more quickly.

2. Allow Yourself To Grieve
Being compassionate with yourself after the demise of your relationship means you allow yourself to feel sad about all your losses. But, don’t overdo it, and focusing on something that is no more won’t make it come back.

3. Ask For Support From Family And Friends
Going through breakups is one of the toughest things one can go through in his or her life. We can't find any reasons why you should go through it alone. Ask your family members and close friends for help and support. Go to a therapist if possible.

4. Don’t Dwell On The Past
Stop thinking about the past like wondering why their relationship ended, what they could have to save it, blaming their partners for all the mistakes, etc. Dwelling on your past relationship will prevent your life from moving forward, and connect with someone new in the future. You can’t change anything of your past. The best thing you can do is learn from it and not make the same mistakes again. Also, forgive both yourself and your ex for everything that contributed to the end of your relationship. True forgiveness is all about you unleashing the past so it can’t control you anymore. Take the failure of your relationship as an important lesson you needed to learn to move on in the future.

5. Stop Seeing Yourself As The Victim
Most men and women view themselves as the victim when breaks up with them. That’s one of the unfavorable things you can do to yourself. Seeing yourself as a victim means that you deny the power and strength that you possess get over your breakup. Instead, change your narrative, and take responsibility for your actions that lead to the end of your relationship.

6. Boost Your Confidence
It is proven breakups can corrode your confidence. But, you still have amazing qualities that you should feel good about yourself. Find out what you really like about yourself, what things you can do perfectly, and remind yourself of these things every day. Make sure you take the time to relax, as stress wears out your confidence and self-esteem. Exercise, get enough sleep, have a healthy diet, and develop a positive and flexible mindset. All these will help to build up your self-confidence and make you look attractive so that you can find someone new to embark on a new relationship.

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What You Should Do Immediately After a Breakup

There is one common thing in couples, who are coming out of bad relationships. It appears that most of them are blaming themselves for the end of their relationship. They’re also criticizing themselves for not doing enough to fix it. Many acknowledged that they stayed in relationships not right for them for a long time, and always knew there was one thing they were doing all wrong. They said that if they could have figured it, their relationship would have been in a much better state. But, the relationship had to be ended as none of the partners realized there is no such thing.

The thing is they’ve their own well-being a priority. So, if anything went wrong in the relationship, they deliberately mistreated their boyfriends or girlfriends, and also pardoned their partners for their mistakes. And when something even bad happens, and the relationship ends for it, they’ve no one to blame but themselves.

So, what is the most compelling thing you should do after a breakup?

Apart from starting a new relationship to get over the pain of the past relationship, which doesn’t work all the time, there is one important thing for you need to understand. You must know that you’re important. Your views and opinions matter just like your standards and values. The best way to be in a successful relationship is to know how to spend time with yourself and assessing your well-being.

Before finding someone new to date again, do something that you always wanted to do or like to do. Get in touch with your hobbies, and if you don’t have one, do the things that interest you. Reunite with your friends; visit your family members and find meaningful and fun activities that you can call your own.

Dating is exciting and intoxicating. You can easily be attracted to someone you like, and things get even better if he or she likes you in return. But, if you’re just coming out from a breakup, then things can get a little tricky. You’ll realize that anyone who is kind or likes you, you find him or her to be very attractive and exciting. Sometimes, the experiences of meeting and dating new people can get so intoxicating that you see yourself always thinking about that person or talking to him or her when you’re all alone.

Nonetheless, if you believe in valuing yourself as an individual, you should stay away from the dating scene for a while, and focus on what important to you. Stay true to yourself and your life. Spend quality time with old friends and closest family members. It’s the healthy relationships that enhance and enriches a person’s life, while bad relationships make you feel miserable.

Embarking on a new relationship is all about maintaining the balance with yourself, your family and friends, your hobbies, your interests and your new love interest. While dating someone new, put your happiness first. Always take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. If you want to be in a happy, long-lasting relationship, the first thing you need to do is to enjoy being in a relationship with yourself, and love yourself. A good boyfriend or a girlfriend just complements it.


7 Biggest Complaints Women Have About Men

Women adore men. It’s just that certain behaviors actually make them insane. Some of these are so bad that if you don’t do anything about them, you’ll have a hard time landing a date! Anyways, here are some of the major complaints women have about the men they love.

1. Doesn’t Dress or Act Like A MAN
We all have to grow up at some point. So, ditch your cartoon t-shirts, please! Women absolutely hate it when they’ve to remind their boyfriends to dress and act like a mature man. There are a time and place to have fun and act like a teenager, but refusing to take responsibility and grow up can be a deal breaker for most women who are looking for a mature to be in a committed relationship.

2. Mr. Angry
A man with this trait is a difficult type to deal with when it comes to relationships. Women feel very fragile like eggshells when they’re with a guy who seems to be always angry at the world. So, guys, cool yourself down, if you don’t want your girlfriend to run away from you.

3. Mr. Possessive
Similar to angry guys, it’s also hard to date someone who treats their women like possessions. Women want men to be a part of their lives, not their possessions. Don’t check up on your girlfriend constantly, grill her if she has any friends of the opposite sex, or does she keep any contact with her exes. Also, stop telling her what she can and can’t do.

4. Everything Is About You
Women want their partners to pay attention to things they like, and take an interest in their lives and themselves. They don’t want to be with guys who are overly self-obsessed and doesn’t show any interests to their partners’ needs or wants. If you desire to have a successful relationship, then both partners should be caring and watchful of each other’s needs.

5. It’s All Talk, No Action
Women have a big problem with men whose words aren’t followed by actions. Some men say they’re going to something, but in the end, they don’t follow through. One simple would be that if a man promised his girlfriend that he would call her or take her on a dinner date, but in the end, he does none of it. Guys, be open and honest about who you are and where you are in life. If you get that right, your women will love and respect your more than ever.

6. Too Much, Too Fast
Another big complaint ladies have against men is that they rush into things too soon in the relationship. We are talking about those guys who in their second or third date start having a conversation regarding marriage, kids, family, etc. Some women may find this very invasive of their personal space. These sensitive topics can only be discussed when both parties are in an exclusive and committed relationship.

7. You’re Not Fully Honest About What You Want
This is by far one of the biggest complaints we see from women about guys. We see men tell a woman that they ready to pursue her, commit to her, but later when things start to get serious, they freak out, or in some case disappear. If men could be genuine with themselves, their partners, and what they want from the relationship, women would appreciate them more.


The Main Reasons Why Women Leave Their Boyfriends

You meet someone you like. You make a connection with them. Things seem to go nicely, and then all of a sudden your girlfriend just goes ‘poof’. Your girlfriend just disappears, never to hear from her again. This type of occurrence is pretty common when dating, and can be really frustrating at times. You keep wondering what actually happened, you have no clues, and you’re left with no closure. Well, here we have listed some of the main reasons why women abandon their boyfriends without giving them any explanations:

1. She found someone better. This is a tough pill to swallow, but very common. Sometimes you meet someone you like, go on a few dates with her, and in the meantime, she meets a man who is better than you. If she stops responding to your calls and texts, it means that she met someone better and isn’t interested in you anymore.

2. She thinks you’re boring. This is subject. Some women, who find someone fun or exciting, might be boring or bland to others. If your girlfriend has gone ‘poof’ after having a few dates with you, it might You're too boring for her personality.

3. She thinks you’re a space invader. Women don’t like their dates or new boyfriends who invaded their personal space way too early in the relationship. If you’ve have been dating your new girlfriend for a few days, and begin asking or give hints that you want to be physically intimate with her, we won’t be surprised if never calls you again.

4. She’s scared that you’ll ask her why she left. After going on a few dates, a woman decides that her date isn’t right for her. She ponders telling him why she isn’t into him, but at the same time, she feels afraid that the guy would ask her to give an explanation. So, she disappears. A lot of women agree that they would abandon their boyfriends, then tell them why that they left him because, he was short, too angry or a bad kisser.

5. She thinks you’re clueless about certain things. For some women, it’s easy for them to poof that spend days or hours explaining their boyfriends why the date isn’t working out or will never work out in the future. They don’t want to be involved in a dramatic conversation. So, they fade away instead.

6. She can’t deal with conflicts or arguments. It’s not a good reason, but a real one, nonetheless. Many women admitted that they rather disappear than deal with awkward conversations or conflicts with their boyfriends.

7. The date was bad. If you’re met someone new and went on a date with her, and the date went terribly bad. Don’t be astonished if she doesn’t return your calls or messages. Many ladies told that they severed all connections with their respective dates because of bad dates and lack of chemistry.

The bottom line is when you found someone new and went on dates with her on a few dates, and then leaves you without telling you anything; remember that this can happen to anyone. She left you not because there is something wrong with you; she left because her intuition told her that you aren’t the right man for her.