Category Archives: Breakups

4 Intuitive Ways to Help You Move On After a Breakup

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Breakups are messy and painful, even if you want to end the relationship. They are upsetting for both persons in a relationship, whereas most people say breakup are harder for the one who got dumped. That’s not true as the person who ended the relationship has seriously hurt the feelings of someone else. It's common sense; we have to move on after a breakup just like everything else in life. Most people say to move on from a breakup; you should begin a new relationship. Well, that’s counterintuitive and doesn’t help most people.

So, whether you wanted this relationship to end or simply lost interest in it, here are four simple and effective ways you can follow to help you move on.

Take a break from your Exes-friends

One of the counterintuitive things most people do after a break up is spending time with people who are friends of your ex-partner. It may be tempting, but it’s going to hurt you when someone from the group shares about the details your ex is doing lately. This will not help you move on. So, take a few months hiatus from your friends and this will make your life simpler and stress-free.

Focus on your profession

When you’re in a warm and stable relationship, usually you aren’t very focused on meeting a deadline, finding a new job, or get a promotion, or learning anything to enhance your professional skills. Now, you have newly single again; you can now channel all your positive energy into something that will improve your life. Think about what do to make your happier professionally and write instructions how to achieve it and follow it to take your career to the next level.

Reunite with a family member or an old friend

Breakups are awful, and you can feel upset and lost after the event. Things get more upsetting when you realize that your ex-lover has also become your best friend, even if the relationship was already halfway through. Now, that you can’t rely on care and support from your ex, non-romantic relationships can help you significantly to move on and appreciate the little things in life. Consider reaching out to all the friends and call one of them just to say “hello.” Also, don’t forget to call your family members too. Being connected to someone who cares about will help not to feel lonely and reestablish the bonds long lost over the years.

Work on a momentous home project

Take on a momentous project you could do at your home that will help you move on and start your life afresh. After breaking up, consider changing the look of your home. Begin by painting some walls, rearrange all your furniture or books, or plant some new flowers. If you didn't organize your closet for a while, now it’s the perfect time to do it. Dig through your closets and get rid of all the clothes and other stuff you haven’t worn or used for a while. Plant some new plants and make space for a table and some chairs, if you have a garden. The main purpose here is to seek a fresh beginning emotionally by making a fresh start in your physical surroundings.

Breakups are painful, and none of the above advice suggests you move on and begin a new relationship. Rather this will help you focus on other parts of your life and restoring balance which is the key to healing and moving on at the demise of a relationship.


Why Rejection Isn’t Always Your Fault

egg-583163_960_720When you are in a relationship, there is always a possibility that the relationship can end at any point. If that happens, your feelings get crushed, a sense of despair and disbelief sets in, and many questions keep popping up in your mind like, “why did this happen?” or “Is it because of me?” The same thing can happen with the person you like to have a relationship but he/she isn’t interested in you. It can happen to anyone, and if that happens, the rejection can be devastating at an emotional level. If remained unchecked, it can create barriers that will make it harder for you to find lasting happiness and true love in the future.

So, when you find someone attractive and start a relationship, and it ends abruptly, it’s necessary to develop a positive perspective about what has just occurred, instead of blaming yourself for it. Here are three scenarios that can help you to cope:

Sticks to the Facts

Instead of coming up with self-deprecating opinions such as, “I am not worthy of love,” or “Nobody likes me ‘coz I am not pretty,” or “I will never find love again,” try to understand the facts why this relationship has ended. These self-condemnation type messages are not only untrue; they can also be very distressful to you, even worse than the pain of ending the relationship with the person you once loved. In fact, if you are more upset about yourself than the person you broke up with, then perhaps it’s time that to seek help from a therapist so that you can redeem your self-esteem and gain a positive perception of love.

Accept the Fact That Your Relationship Has Ran Its Course

When a breakup happens, it just happened because there wasn’t any love in it. There is no reason to conclude that the relationship ended because there was something wrong with you or your partner, or you both lacked commitment in the relationship. This usually happens at the early stages of a relationship, and it’s better to discover it while you are still getting to know each other before you take a big decision like being in a long-term relationship or even worse getting married. So we advise that couples shouldn’t commit themselves to a long-term relationship within a few weeks of falling in love, as the infatuation may dissipate quickly.

Breakups Happen Due to Mismatch of Expectations

Typically, relationships end because one partner has found that something isn’t in sync with his or her expectations about the future with the other partner. All of us have dreams and expectations, and we want to realize them when we embark in a long term relationship and sometimes things always don’t work out in the end. When that takes place, it doesn’t mean you are inadequate or lack something; it only means that you and your partner don’t have the right ingredients for a lasting relationship.

So, now you know that when someone decides to end a relationship or don’t want to have one with you, in the beginning, don’t get hurt as this isn’t all about you.


How To Find Success While Handling A Complicated Relationship?

Relationships become difficult for so many reasons. There can be issues like trust, commitment, long distance or even abusive. The situation uses to worsen day by day and people just do not know how to figure out the problems and lead a happy and fruitful life.

Most people believe that if the relationship is not working out well, then it is better to be separated. However, sometimes our heart doesn't seem to accept this. Why is this so? This is because the love and care we hold for that person are unconditional and blind. We do not realize that the person we truly love does not deserve our love. Moreover, sometimes we stay in the hope of getting things better someday.

Handling a complicated relationship and finding success in it

Complications need to be worked out. It is not necessary that complications must lead you to the failure, it can be sorted out, and the relationships are saved for good. Here are a few tips to help you work out your complications:

Finding out the main cause

The foremost step while handling a complicated relationship is to find out what is the cause of all the difficulties. Where does the central problem lie? Is it the trust or the commitment issues that are creating problems or is it being abusive? Figuring out and then solving the problems is the first step for a healthy long term relationship.

Open your communication

Mostly challenges and complications occur and prolonged due to the lack of communication. If anything is disturbing you, be open to talking to your partner rather than piling it inside which will build up only misunderstandings between you and your partner. Discussing, giving each other your pieces of mind and clearing things up forms the basis of a healthy relationship.

Make your unhappiness known to your partner

Sometimes you may think that your relationship is not working out properly and that you are unhappy, but your partner does not feel the same. According to him, everything is going just smooth and fine. In such a situation you need to talk to your partner and say your heart out. Tell him what makes you feel bad. Fix what you think is not going well to live a joyful and healthy life.

Get help from your support system

When life seems full of complications, then definitely you need someone with whom you can share your problems. Give them a true picture of what is going on in your life. They can suggest ways overcome difficulties in your life. They can even support and give you the courage to talk to your partner about everything that is upsetting you to clear all the matters for a flourishing life.

Get rid of the obstacles that are complicating your relationship

Are the long, tough working hours and tight schedules are setting you two apart? Well, there is a need to discuss this matter. No need to leave your jobs, but at least you two can sit and spend a quality time together.

Relationships are tricky, and sometimes they end up being a complete mess. Little efforts can help you survive your complicated relationships and make them successful.

 

 


Three Ways on How to Cope from Rejection

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Anyone who has been dating is bound to come across the word rejection. Rejection can come if you see your online messages aren’t being answered, or while on a first date the another person hasn’t returned your calls, or you got dumped the moment you were just started going out, all rejections have one thing in common — they hurt real bad. What’s more upsetting about rejections is – our inability to understand what went wrong, which might easily lead us to self-criticism. All this self-inflicted punishment makes us feel utterly miserable and can lose confidence, desperate and emotionally weak.

However, there is a way to rebound from rejection, find your happiness back, move on and return to the dating world. Below are three steps to help you cope with the emotional pain inflicted after being rejected:

Stop Self-Criticism

Although it’s understandable to self-criticize after a rejection, there is a little benefit in that. Most rejections have nothing particular to do with any personal flaws or shortcomings. Instead, they have much to do with chemistry and compatibility. You might think the other person is interested in you, but in reality, he or she isn’t interested enough. And if they felt compatible with you, it’s very likely you too will feel it at some point. Thus, stop blaming yourself or think that you have some perceived flaws after being rejected.

Reinvigorate Your Self-Esteem

Now that you have spared yourself from the evil clutches of self-criticism, it’s time to revive your self-esteem. And the right way to do that is to remind you again and again about your qualities and attributes you possess which you believe makes you great. Make a list of qualities you have and think are invaluable for dating and maintain a relationship. Say you are loyal, caring, lovable, supportive, passionate, considerate, a good cook, a great listener, a good kisser, and so on.

Now, choose anyone of those attributes and write a short essay, and explain why this quality is important to you, why your future spouse will find it indispensable, how this has helped you with dating and being in relationships before, and so on. Try to write one or two brief paragraphs until you start to feel better about yourself. Remember that this exercise will have a positive impact on your self-esteem, only if you write.

Regain Your Sense of Belonging

The reason why rejection has sharp emotional pain is that we feel to lose our sense of belonging. We, humans always wanted to be “loved” and “need to belong” to someone or a group, it is this sense of we have become every sensitive to rejection. So, to regain your sense of belonging, reach out to your friends and family members for support if you happen to be a victim of rejection.

Rejections are very common forms emotional pain that unfortunately doesn't go away soon. However, by taking these three steps will make your healing process easier, boost up your confidence, and get you back on the dating scene again stronger than ever.


How to End a Relationship in Your 30’s

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When you are in your 30s, you begin to realize your expectations about dating had changed when you were in your 20s. During this time, you’ve been in many relationships, probably some serious ones too, and now you know what you and don’t want in a partnership. Relationships can end for many reasons, and breakups in your 30s can be quite distressful than in your 20s, given that you were more committed to that relationship.

But there is a way to do it without inflicting too much pain on either side and also end a loveless relationship with honesty, care and your honor intact.

Be Honest About the Issue

Breakup just doesn’t happen all of a sudden. Breakups occur because you and your partner might be arguing or fighting more than getting along or knowing each other, or there are problems with your job or finances, addictions or just not trusting or respecting each other.
You’re in your 30s, and you realize that you don’t have the time and effort to invest in this relationship hoping things would get better.

Find Out Who Is Responsible

Being in a relationship in your 30s is much realistic and intertwined than in your 20s. If you guys are living together, figure out who will be moving out, who will take custody of the pets (if you have any), or who will be paying off the debts, or any outstanding obligations like rent, car insurance, upcoming vacations and so on. You have to settle these issues as you, and your significant other won’t like to deal with it after the breakup.

Do It for Your Best Interest

Breakups are difficult to cope with as they leave lasting pain and emotional scars in you and your partners’ lives. So, try to control your emotions and don’t let your anger and bitterness take over, at least, not to the extent of damaging bonds you have created while you were in the relationship. We won't deny it takes courage and emotional maturity to have these conversations, but most couples just end the relationship because they don’t even try to do something about, which they regret later.

Take Some Time to Grieve

Breakups are agonizing and difficult to cope, but you will get over a breakup. So, take some time to grieve, focus on yourself and contemplate about the situation. Don’t hesitate to experience anger, sadness, regret about the loss of your partner, and the fear that you won’t find love again. However, don’t exert too much pressure on yourself as it will delay the healing process. Instead, try to figure out what attracted you to start a relationship with this person, why the relationship failed and what part did you play that lead to it. It will help you move forward and start a new relationship.

Take accountability For Your Decisions

Be accountable for your part about why this relationship didn’t meet your expectations. It is important because if you aren’t honest about it, you will end another relationship and blame the other person for it. The grieving process after the breakup is a major step in rebuilding your life, maintaining the best qualities of yourself and using it to search a new person to start a new relationship.


7 Things You Should Avoid After A Breakup

images (1)Breakup – the most unwanted word for any individuals. Sometimes, there is no way you can avoid it. So, it’s better to know how you can deal with it. There are effective ways to deal with your grief that works perfectly and few other things can trigger your sorrow and postpone healing. Never lose heart; time will shallow all of your bitterness from life. You just need to move on, and there will be someone who will respect your feelings and emotions. All of this will be a memory someday.

In this transition period, while dip into sadness, be sure you avoid these DON’T’s. Otherwise, you can end up harming you more.

1) Pretend you’re fine

Let your pain burn you. Cry or punch the pillow, throw away the journal or whatever reliefs you. Spend more time with your friends who care your emotions. You might want to show others that it’s not a matter for you while it is breaking you apart from inside. Be honest with yourself. It’s completely fine to be hurt, angry or humiliated. It’s not always obviously that you are guilty of a punishment.

2) Attached to ex as “Just Friend”

It’s very rare where a breakup lead to a solid friendship unless you’re comfortable when your ex dating someone else or vice versa. If the answer is no; you are not ready to be friend with your ex.
Very rarely can a breakup turned into a solid friendship. If you’re not comfortable with the idea when your ex dating with someone else and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals. So, keep distance and stand your ground if ex pushing for a friendship.

3) Revenge? Not a solution

Revenge is not an ultimate solution and only lead to bitterness and hatred. Don’t destroy his stuff, kidnap mutual pet or anything that could lead you to any legal trouble. The best thing is to forgive and leave. Spend your valuable energy on individual who deserves it.

4) Continue Communication

However, you broke up in few days, you still want to share thoughts with your ex by calling and texting. You come across any incident that makes you laugh and the first thing you did was texting him/her. Don’t do it now.

But in some cases, it might essential to contact to return any stuff. Make it short and to the point and avoid any conversation that you used to convey in the relationship.

5) Beg for Settlement

Don’t beg him to return. Think deeply, you never wanted a relationship in which you need to beg someone to stay with you. The extra risk is, if your ex rejects you again, it will not just hurts, it will let you even down with more regret and humiliation.

6) Share bed

Never let it happen. Even on her deathbed, no woman will never wish to sleep with her ex-husband for one last time. Be logical and make it clean when you break up.

7) Give up

Don’t let a breakup bogged down you and lose your hope. She or He wasn’t the one and Love is not the experience that comes single time in life. There must be someone who really cares about you and your feelings. Take your time to find out what makes you happy. That could be any social work, spending time with children, any art that you really love. Reading motivational books can also help. Most of all, be confident and believe in you.

It’s very important that you learn from the belated relationship and move forward. Don’t lose hope finding the right match for you and be thankful that you are now free from a bad relationship.


Signs Your Lover Is Messing With Your Mind

Have you ever been head over heels in love with someone? You are simply crazy about this one guy that everything seems so perfect about him. Wake up girls!!! This is not the case each time. You need to look into the relationship very sensibly and maturely. There might be certain red flags which you must be ignoring or may be having no idea until it ultimately makes you go insane.

Getting confuse already? No need to get confused and just read out the following checkpoints to assess your guy’ behavior:

Mixed Messages

One of the ways that guys used to mess around with your head is by sending confused messages. The words do not clearly say whether he loves you or not. It simply shows that he is just playing around and messing up your mind.

It could also be a sign that it might be possible he does not love you as much as you do. Talk to him about this and make yourself clear before it gets too late.

They question your decision

Does your guy question you each time regarding your decisions and make you feel incapable of it? Does he make you frustrated by asking each time to give the explanation about your choice?  Such kind of situations may make you feel like questioning your abilities and eventually doubt your accomplishments.

You have started questioning your perceptions

If your guy twists things around so much that you become confused, then you need to be extra careful about it. If for example, you have a plan for going out with your friend and he openly disapproves it by saying that this friend of yours is not what you think about her. Such disapprovals make you start thinking about it over and over again until you start believing it yourself.

Your guy ignores you

This is another sign that if your guy ignores you for hours and instantly comes back when he needs you, and then he is messing up with your head. Such a guy should be ignored back right away. This, in turn, drives him crazy and his messes up with his head.

Flirting around

Some guys start flirting with your best friend or maybe other friends of your group then this is not a good sign. If you see that he is flirting around with your friends in front of you then he can flirt around with any other in your absence; you deserve a better one!!

You have started to give up expressing yourself

If there comes a time, you feel like that there is no point of expressing yourself. You will only be ridiculed, humiliated or be upset after that then this is the time you need to think about your relationship. How can a relationship last without any communication and expressing yourself? Your guy has messed up your mind, and you need help.

You have started to believe that you are the crazy one

Your man manipulates you in such a way that you start believing his words that you are the insane one. You start thinking that there is something wrong with you which make your life even more miserable.

Bottom Line

Everyone has the right to express thoughts without being ridiculed, questioned and disrespected. No one deserves to be treated in a manner that they lose their sense of reality.

 

 


How To Stop Liking A Guy You Know You Can’t Have?

Falling in love is irresistible. It just happens. It never asks a person before falling for the person you are attracted to. Moreover, it never takes into accounts the real situation that whether that person can be a part of your love life or not. If it had been that sensible then, this world would be a perfect place to live in. There would be no such feeling like rejection which is one of the most painful emotions. It simply shatters your confidence. It hurts you intensely, and you lost faith in yourself.

Lingering on to the situation and being stuck for a long time will only make your condition worse. Undoubtedly it is a quite difficult to move on but accepting the reality is the only choice you are left behind with. You need to put in a lot of efforts, the sooner, the better. This article is all about that how you can stop liking the guy you know that you cannot have.

Accept that you cannot have him

Certain things can never be changed. You have to accept it and accepting it at the earliest is better for you. You cannot everything in life which you wish for.

If you keep on sticking to the situation, then your love will start to grow more deeply and eventually you will be completely crushed. So accept the truth and move on for the betterment.

Stay busy with your friends

One of the best things which you can do is to surround yourself with your buddies. Have a time out. Hang out at shopping malls and restaurants. Keep your mind off from that person. Time spent with friends will give you a break and will freshen up your mind.

Keep Distance

It’s human nature that you look for the opportunities to bump into the person you are attracted to accidently. Or your eyes keep on wandering just to have a slight glance of him. Avoid doing this. This will only make you suffer more. When you know, you cannot have him then what is the point of doing all this.

Buy yourself a new book

Books are man’s best friend. I suggest you buy the new book for yourself and completely get lost in it. It will make you focus on the characters and their problems. This will be helpful in forgetting about your life’s reality for sometimes.

Avoid watching Romantic movies and soaps

The worst thing to be done during this period is to watch romantic stuff on the television. These films and soaps show all the fake promises and romance which will just make you more insane. The reality is quite different. It will just give false hope and heartache.

It is better to stay away from such movies and television shows and be more practical.

Start meeting new guy

You cannot get over with this until you start meeting a new guy. I know this sounds quite weird at the moment, but you have to start meeting a new guy so as to draw your attention away from the person you like.

It is not at all easy to stop liking the guy right away the moment you realize that you cannot have him but following the above mentioned will help you to come out of this phase and start looking for the person you can be with.


Thinking Of Breaking Up With A Girl – Tips That Can Help

Breaking up with a girl is not an easy job because you have spent lot of time with her. Girls are more emotional than boys and hence you need to figure out a plan to break up. So, it is your duty that if you are breaking up with a girl then you must do it respectfully and truthfully because it will not harm her that much. There are many things that have to be kept in mind while doing this. If you will say the truth to the girl then she will understand it and will respect your words and the worse can be she will slap you or will use abusing words.

Tips for breaking with girl

You should do this patiently and with cool mind. Most of the times, guys do not know what to do in order to come out of the relationship. If you are also among those boys then here are some tips at your disposal that will help you in breaking up with a girl:

Do not text or call for break up: You should keep one thing in mind that you should never do any message or call for breaking up. You should meet with the girl and then say what you want to. This will enhance your image in front of the girl and the girl will think that you still really care for her.

Start drinking: Another tip that you can use for breaking up with a girl is start drinking. Drink as much as you can in front of her, make yourself embarrassed in front of others and especially in front of her friends. She will not like all these things as girls do not want that their boyfriends to embarrass them. Even you can also blench in key or special moments as it will spoil her mood and you can use this trick several times. So, in this way the girl will herself dumped and you need not to do anything.

Start doing the things that she does not like: You can break up by doing all those things that she does not like such as start flirting with other girls, not listening to what she is saying and many more. This is the most proven way that must be followed for breaking up. Even if you are living in live in relationship then do such things that can annoy her such as start snoring during nights, by not allowing her to come in your room or you can also hide such things that you never hide. This will put a question mark on the rust in the relationship and she will surely think of breaking up with you.

Avoid her: The most proven and useful tip for breaking up with a girl is to start avoiding her. Avoid her as much as you can. Many girls are attention seeker and they want that their boyfriends should pay attention on them. So, this can be the best way of breaking up. Avoid her by not listening to small things or by not paying attention on what she is wearing or do not smile back when she smiles. All these things will indicate the girl that you are no longer interested in her and want to break up with her.

Say directly: It is said that honesty is the best policy so keeping this in mind say everything directly to the girl. You can even give the reason that why you want to break up such as you want focus on studies or you want to build your career first. These words do not sound weird in fact they sound good. This will help the girl in thinking that you are career oriented and want to become something first. Even it will have a positive impact on the girl and it will become easier for you to break up with her. On the other hand she will appreciate your feelings and will not feel bad for break up.

Introduce her with other person: If you want to break up without hurting her, then you can introduce her with your friend or colleague. Try to introduce with such friend who is single and has same areas of interest as that of your partner. One more thing that you can do is to try to build a bond between them and instead of sitting with them stay away from the girl and do something else. But sometimes it is not possible for you to hand your love to someone else. Even you can also arrange parties and can invite both of them and ask her to dance with your friend. This will highlight that you are not interested in the girl now and want to go away from her by giving her a gift.

 Be unattractive: If you are handsome and attractive and the girl was attracted because of your looks only, then start being unattractive as it will lead her down and she will not feel good. Start wearing lose and awful clothes that do not suit you. There are many girls that want their boyfriends to look best but if you will do such things surely she will not like it and will herself dump you.

Stop giving gifts: If your lady love is fond of beautiful flowers and gifts and you give all these things to her then you must stop this activity. The best way is not to give gift even on her birthdays or any special occasions. This will spoil her mood and she will feel very bad. In fact do not even wish her or do a single message. You can also show that you are no longer rich and cannot afford her expensive clothes, shoes and accessories. In you will do these things on her birthdays then she will surely be disappointed by you and will make the best effort to dump you.

So, if you are tired and want to try something new, then you can follow these tips for breaking up with a girl. They are the proven and most effective tips.

 

 

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Signs It Is Time The Relationship has Run its Course

Relationships are precious. It is all about taking care of the people around us. They are your family, friends, relatives and most importantly that special one who enters into your life and surrounds you with complete love and care.

Relationships meant to bring happiness to your life, but on the other hand, they can become quite challenging for you. Sometimes they are valuable and everlasting but sometimes they screw you up so well that you are left with a lesson for good.

There comes a time in everyone’s life, where you take an important decision. A decision of your life partner!! With whom you wish to share your complete life, your thoughts and ideas, your happiness and distress, your fears and calmness, in fact, every part and every minute of your life. But sometimes things do not work out well. The path you chose to walk along with your partner seems to be destructed. You are badly hurt but still do not know what to do? Still confused whether to let go or to hold on to the relationship. If you are still stuck in the situation, check out the following list which will help you to in making the right choice.

A major flaw in the character

If your partner has a drug addiction, has an alcoholic problem, has been into multiple affairs or is habitual of telling lies, then I guess the decision to take is not going to be the tough one. You need a life. You need to move away from such a person unless and until he not only promises but changes himself for you. After this, you can reconsider your decision.

Jealousy and mistrust for no reason

The base of every relationship has always been on trust. Without trust, the relationship cannot exist. On the other hand, the element of jealousy creates a lot of misunderstandings and complications.

If your partner gets jealous on talking to someone else, if he cuts down your friendships, your time is always monitored when you are out of the house, and you have no privacy at all then these are the signs of a height of distrust.

Abusive relationship

If your partner is abusive to you, then it is not OK!! No one has the right to treat you this way no matter what it takes. You might be wrong, or maybe it is your entire fault but him being abusive by calling names, hitting, manipulating or anything like this is not at all acceptable. You have all the rights to stand against it.

“Fixing” something about your partner

Here in life, the only person that you can change is “you.” If you believe that you are going to change your partner, then this cannot be the case until he agrees to it and respects your feelings. If only he wants to change then, this is possible otherwise it is of no use especially if there is something that requires a significant amount of fixing. The relationship is not worth keeping, move forward.

Time reveals the mismatch of values

We all have our family value. Values like freedom, liberal family, conservative family, security, etc. At some point, you feel that you share different values and are uncomfortable while moving along then it is better to get apart.

Sometimes situations do take over and start dictating us. But if you are being mistreated and cheated by your partner, then it is better to say goodbye and move on.