Category Archives: Breakups

What To Do When You Start Liking Someone Else?

We come across many people in our routine life that we appreciate or like. Up till this point, it is fine. But what if you start getting deeply attracted to another person when you already in a relationship? Does this new guy make your heart skip a beat? If this is so, then the situation, as well as the feeling you start holding for this new person in your life, is inevitable. But the question now arise is that what are you going to do about it?

A bit of flirting is harmless but what if your infatuation grows with the passage of time and is converted into an obsession and deep love? Well, it is quite reasonable to get attracted to someone but deciding what to do about it is never easy. Falling for another person when you are already in love with somebody else is quite confusing, and you need to ask yourself that why is this so?

The first thing that you should do is to evaluate your relationship with your partner. Do you find that magical bond missing which you two use to share? How do you see your relationship three years from now? If you do not get the positive answers, then there is something wrong with your relationship.

Other than finding something wrong about your relationship, perhaps you are becoming fickle, and you think that you deserve a better person than your partner. Watch out for all the signs first before jumping onto the new path.

The Old Long Term Relationship and your New Crush

Every long term relationship is super exciting and romantic at the start but with the passage of time couple settles down back to their routine life. This doesn’t mean that the love or the romance is missed out; it is that the relationship matures in a way that it becomes more than wooing and sleepless nights where long term relationship is kept alive through compatibility, active communication, and emotional maturity.

So, if you start liking somebody else when you are already in a relationship, then this may be because of that fluttering experience of the early times that you had with your partner. Remember this time will get over in a year even with your new partner. So, what are you going to do then? Are you going to keep on switching your partner your whole life one after the other?

What should you do?

It can be a possibility that the new person you have fallen for does not like you in the same way that you do. Or maybe this new relationship is not going to hold the intensity after some time that the long-term relationships should hold.

If you are euphoric with your current partner, then there is no point of getting yourself confused over just a mere crush or infatuation. It is not worth it. But if you think that you do not see a healthy future with your current partner then you may consider taking into account the new relationship, even then it is not fair to your partner who may go to confront you anytime soon. And what I would suggest that before indulging yourself into a new relationship give the old one a shot and have an open discussion with you, partner. But even after several tries, you find out that the relationship is still not working then you can end it. But never end your long-term, trusted relationship just because you have found someone new.


An Introvert’s Guide to Dealing With a Breakup

Breakups are hard on everyone. Whether you are a girl or a guy, that time after a breakup is going to take you into someone of your life’s worse days. It is at those time you are in dire need of some close friends or family that can help you get through it and who can make you get back to normal life as soon as possible. What about the introverts, though? We all know what life of an introvert is and how their social circle is limited to just a handful of people. Dealing with breakups for introverts, therefore, is much difficult than how we would have it. This article is going to give a few ways introverts can overcome the sadness of breakups.

#1 Take a deep breath and chill out

A breakup is a sad thing, but it shouldn’t be made a matter of life and death. You need to calm yourself and understand that it is not the end of the world. You have your whole life ahead of you, and a million things are waiting for you. This one sad incident should not put you down in any case. Your sadness and low feelings are all a product of your mind. If your mind is positive, then you will not at all go through a sad phase after a breakup.

#2 Tell your friends to chill out

If you have a bunch of extrovert friends, then you are going to facing a hard time with them at this point. They love you of course, but their ways of fixing you are just not the right one. They will immediately put you on new dating websites and take you to parties to meet new people. They will be trying their best to hook you up with someone or get to flirt at least. Well, you are an introvert, and it’s your nature to be into hat shell. You need to tell your friends that you are comfortable being that way and that they need to calm themselves. All you probably need to know is that they are there for you and that belief alone will be enough.

#3 You have to process and grieve

As much as it is healthy not to take a breakup too seriously, it is equally important to analyze the situation and know what went wrong. It isn’t easy for an introvert to give someone that much love and importance, so they definitely have to grieve over it now that they have left. At the same time, you should process the situation where you made a mistake or where the other person was lacking. This will ensure that the next time it doesn’t get repeated.

#4 Get over it

After you are done with all the steps from 1 till 3, it is now time to let it go. You have lost a loved one, but it wasn’t all on you, you still have it for you to love someone else. Know that fate has chosen someone better for you and it is only sometimes that you find him/her.

 


When to Know the Relationship Has Run It’s Course

Life is a lot about making compromises and settling for things against our will. For instance, we may agree to eat a certain place not because we want but because someone we love like their food. We agree to meet certain people despite our dislike for them just because someone close wanted us to attend that gathering. Our compromises are usually for people who matter a lot, and those who we know are worth it. However, there are some things which should never be compromised on. Relationships are one of them. The relationship is long term and affects each and every part of our life so that a toxic relationship can bring a lot of difficulties. There are some traits in a person that immediately signal you that the relationship is not worth making an effort for and this article will talk about those traits.

#1 Partner who doesn’t give 100 percent

A successful relationship is all about the keen interest shown by both of the partners. If one of them doesn’t show an equal level of interest or seems to be lost most of the time, then it is the time to give that relationship a second thought. Involvement as well should be equal from both sides, and not one person should be left to support the relationship.

#2 Partner who is full of ego

There is no ego when two people love each other. They should both be open to each other where both are willing to accept their mistakes whenever they do something wrong. This is what actually builds trust and strengthens a relationship. If one out of the two displays ego all the time and refuses to accept his/her mistakes, then that is totally unacceptable.

#3 Someone who cannot take a good sense of humor

One way to lessen the tensions of life and to make it easy to bear is to know how to laugh some of it off. A good sense of humor is like a blessing if one person in the relationship has it. Some, however, get too serious and instead shut the other one up when they try to lighten the mood. Such people are bad energy and should be left alone.

#4 Someone who won’t grow with you

Your life partner needs to bring out the positivity in you and encourage you to pursue your dreams. If at any point you feel as if he/she is putting you down and becoming rather a hurdle in your way of success then that is a sign that he/she is not the right person.

#5 A partner who is not compassionate

There is a reason why two people come in a relationship because they want someone to share their life with. If the other person shows a careless attitude where he/she is too busy to listen to whatever you have to say or who doesn’t have time to make you realize how much you mean to them then that person is certainly not worth all that effort.

After this, it is time you take a break and sort that relationship out for once.

 


Signs Your Partner Is Too Selfish To Deal With

It all starts with infatuation, feelings develop soon after and then you tell your heart that the person is perfect to be your life partner. As much as we like the other person or are impressed by their personality and appearance, there are some things which we should be careful for before deciding as to if he/she is worth spending the life with. This article will warn you about those few signs which show that the other person is too self-centered to be your better half.

#1 They are more into your career than your character

There are people who are least bothered about what their partner’s personality is like. They will not at all be concerned about the things which he/she like or dislikes, because as long as they are good in their career and making money, then no such thing really matters to them. These are the materialistic freaks that care more about money than you.

#2 You feel controlled by their many rules

The relationship should never be suffocating for anyone. Both of them are grown enough to handle their own lives and to decide what exactly is best for them. When one of them is putting too many regulations and keeping unnecessary checks on the other person, then it gets really irritating after some time. It may have been manageable if he/she himself was applying those as well but seems like they just want an upper hand for no reason.

#3 Your partner values “me” over “we”

If your partner is too self-centered and loves him/her more than anything, then that would show in his/her attitude towards you as well. They will give more value to their own opinions and will be least bothered about all that you have to say.  In every situation, they will try to influence the decision with all that they prefer. This obviously makes it an unhealthy relationship.

#4 They never ask about your day

These people are inconsiderate and with zero feelings. They will never try to make you feel loved nor will ever show concern for you. You will never find them asking you about how your day went or them being concerned if you’re a little sad sometimes. This cold attitude is hard to deal with and therefore must not be compromised on.

#5 They talk over you

These people only care about themselves which is why in every argument they will be more than eager to shout at their highest pitch to make sure that your statements are shut off. They will never be ready to hear your side of the story, all they will do is give their opinion and walk away.

#6 You have to beg them for everything literally

As said before, there is not an ounce of consideration in this kind of people. They will only do the things they like and avoid all those they dislike. Your existence will not make any difference in their lives. If you do want to do something, then it will get as bad as you begging them for it every time and such a relationship only hurts your self-respect and nothing else.


Why is a Women’s Love so Fickle

Women love to create their fantasy world in which there is only romance everywhere. They simply love fairy tales and this is what they want in their real lives. But yet they tie up such messy knots in their relationship that either they get hurt or left their partner feeling dejected and helpless.

So, the question arises why woman are so fickle in love? Why do they make their love lives so confusing?  Or is it we men who do unjustly to them?

Looking into a man’s mind, they do not really ask for much. Spending evenings or weekends together with their girlfriend is all that makes them happy, and this is just perfect for them.

Men cheat in two cases; either when they are frustrated, or their girlfriend gets on their nerves all the time for one reason or the other or maybe for no reason at all and secondly if they gets attracted to another woman and the chemistry between the two becomes intense.

A man’s mind is quite simple, and they are easy to understand as compared to the women who are blessed with complex creative love dimensions which can take a height anytime during the relationship. But do keep it in mind that men are pretty content with what comes and go on in their minds.

Women are unpredictable. They are very hard to understand. Sometimes their state of mind and feelings complicates relationships to the extent that it spoils everything. A woman can be easily convinced that she is in a bad relationship than a man. Men listen to their feelings, while women listen to everybody else except their emotions.

As per my perspective, women crave for love, and they like the attention and care which is given to them by their boyfriend or partner. But with the years passing by, they find another charming guy who is more affectionate and gives a little more attention or makes long phone calls; they simply can’t help it and falls for this new guy who makes them feel happy inside.

But the story does not end up here. A woman wants to stay with her steady boyfriend, but at the same time, they do not want to let go of this new charming guy. Some women are going to negate this point, but put them in the similar situation and see how they surprise themselves.

Women are suckers of affection and if any smooth guy knows when to strike the hot iron, they will never resist this new charm in their lives.

Women do not realize this that they cannot have both the guys at the same time. Even she tries to keep it secretive and tries to resist for some time, but time may come when she will start comparing the two. This is the point from where the real confusion and pain starts. This pain does not only make you suffer but also your partner who is unable to understand about your changing moods.

Now can we put the entire blame on women? What I believe it is a trait that cannot be changed. Women do think that they deserve a better guy than she is with right now at any point in their lives. So, they fickle because woman love dramas in their lives and this is just being a part of their drama which they crave for off and on to ensure disturbance and sleepless nights.


When Does Divorce Become A Better Option?

People always have a negative view regarding divorce. Whenever someone considers getting a divorce, he/she would instantly think about all the negatives that it would bring to their life and the social criticism. This, however, should be kept in mind that mental health of both the wife and husband should be paramount in any relationship when it becomes difficult to maintain that then divorce should be considered. Divorce is not totally a bad thing, in some cases, it may turn out to be the most feasible option. This article will talk about all the reasons why divorce becomes a better option.

#1 Divorce gives you hope

Staying in a bad marriage may be satisfying at one point because you will be sure of what the life holds for them, even if it is constant mental torture every day. Divorce, despite its uncertainty, will give both of them a new hope and opportunity to experience love with someone else, who deserves it.

#2 It is better for the kids

If you have children, then you surely don’t want them to be growing up in the tense air where there are only fights for them to see. It will be much better if they are given a separate lifestyle where they are able to build on their strengths and work on weaknesses.

#3 You get to focus on yourself

Somehow somewhere in the bad marriage, you stop taking care of yourself. Every day there is a new issue to deal with. After a divorce, you can spare that time for yourself and think about ways to bring improvements in your nature and to some extent physical well-being. Once again, you will start living for yourself.

#4 You both might be suffocating each other from growing

Staying in a bad marriage not only gives you mental torture but at the same time, it limits the growth opportunities for the two involved. They will not be able to concentrate on their careers and thus every side of life will be facing a dark age. Divorce will give both of them some time off the hectic routine where they will be able to think about themselves and also how they have to bring positive changes in their professional lives.

#5 Better parenting

Whoever gets the children after divorce, whether it is the mom or dad, they will better be able to ensure a healthy living for them. They themselves will be mentally satisfied and content so as a result, their parenting will be effective as well.

#6 You lose a spouse, but you gain happiness

Divorce sure is a significant setback to your life in a way that you lose your spouse, someone, you have spent a good time in your life with and invested a lot of love as well. The loss is great, but if you look at the bright side, then it is the start of a new life for you. You will regain all the lost happiness in your life and build yourself where you actually deserve.


Toxic Habits That Are Slowly Eating Your Relationship

We all understand the importance of relationships and the place they have in our lives. For some of us, it is like the constant support system that helps us get through even the toughest of times. For two people who are in love with each other and have mutually agreed to spend their lives together, for them, it is important that they respect the relationship and ensure it is a healthy one. There are some things which we may not do intentionally, but there is a possibility that in the near future they become the reason behind the failure of that relationship. These few habits are mentioned below and must always be avoided.

#1- Not resolving conflicts

There is no relationship where there are no fights. Fighting or arguing is a part of life and in fact, helps to build even stronger bonds. It shows how much the other person is ready to compromise. Whatever the case may be, whenever conflicts arise they should not be left unattended. Leaving them unsolved will do no good, and it will actually create bad feelings regarding the other person which may erupt sometime later.

#2- Not hesitating to hurt the other person’s feelings

Sometimes words can be more hurtful than physical aggression. This is true by all means; physical wounds can be healed but what we say to the other person stays in their mind for a long time. In relationships where both the guy and girl are emotionally invested, in that situation both should take great care that they don’t say anything which hurts his/her feelings. If there is an issue then fighting is a healthy option, taking the anger out is recommended but with one thing in mind that none of those words hurt the feelings. And this is usually when someone starts to taunts or gives third person references. This should always be avoided.

#3- Being willing to end it

Every relationship has its bad time, but both should know that it is temporary and not for a long time. In any case, neither of them should initiate the talk of ending it. If anyone of them does think such a thing and brings it up, then it would literally destroy the whole essence of their bond. This will be the time when the purity of that relationship will be long gone, and somehow it would just feel like a formality. No one should ever even think of ending a relationship.

#4- Not accepting your partner’s flaws

No one is perfect, and perfection in itself is a questionable thing. Love means that you are ready to accept the other person with all their imperfections and flaws because their presence alone is enough to keep you going. In relationships, therefore, you should learn to accept your partner’s flaws and all that they are not good at. In fact, they should try to help them overcome that weakness instead of pointing it out.

These are some of the basic things that should always be avoided to ensure a healthy relationship otherwise you might lose your love.


Two Sides To A Breakup

The reasons for a breakup could be plenty, but primarily there are just two situations; either you have initiated the breakup or the other person has broken up. These two sides of a breakup have different ways of dealing with it, explained below.

When you break up with someone!

  • Understand; before you jump to any conclusions, it is important that you first analyze the situation and see how you have acted in all of it. You should carry out a little self-reflection of yourself where you know exactly why you did that and what triggered it and also if you were right or not.
  • Be Honest; you have, to be honest throughout the course. There is no use in lying about events or making false statements about the other person. If there is anything that can help, then that is if you deal with everything the honest way and accept even if you have made some mistakes. Also, even after a breakup, you should remain honest, and not continue with the “just friends” phase when you cannot actually handle it.
  • Never drag; it sure is difficult to break it, someone, that you no longer want to continue the relationship or that they don’t mean that special to you anymore but despite the difficulty, you should never drag it. The sooner you inform the other person, the better it will be; otherwise, you will just be ruining each other’s time.
  • Be kind but sure; breakups are not supposed to be full of anger and hatred. They can be dealt in a mature and kind way but then again, in that kindness too you must convey the real message.

When someone breaks up with you!

  • Dignity first; dealing with a breakup news is surely sad and heartbreaking, but you need to learn how to put yourself together at that time. You should control yourself not to scream or attack anyone/anything.
  • Get support; the best way to deal with the news is to go to a close friend or family member. Going to them and sharing your feelings or even crying will help you get over the initial stress of a breakup. This is also safe for you compared to if you were all alone and at the risk of doing something bad to yourself.
  • Don’t blame yourself; blaming yourself is not healthy at all because it is them who broke up not you. Blaming yourself the whole life will always be toxic to our emotional health. You need to tell yourself that you gave your best to the relationship and that it was the other person who was not competent enough to handle it.
  • Learn from it; as much as you tell yourself that it was the other person’s fault, but still you should have an attitude where you are ready to accept that you’re not perfect either. In fact, a self-evaluation would work best here.

How to Deal With Breakup The Mature Way

The breakup should not be taken as an end to life; instead, it is that powerful time of your life when you can actually build all the positive energy to reboot your life. Women are thought to deal with breakups like a kid lying in bed and crying over and over. But, no! Time has changed, and there are plenty ways women can deal with the breakup in a mature and grown up way. Few of them are listed below;

#1- Immediately block him

You might think that this is an unimportant thing, but actually, when you see all his pictures and memories online it will really put you back in the past where getting back will become difficult than ever. So, it is only wise to make sure that he is far away from your social group where there is now way he can contact you or for you to see his face in any way.

#2- Avoid the “just friends” tag

There is a pretty high chance that the guy proposes to continue the relationship but staying friends only. The moment he brings it up, be sure to counter it with a clear no. Guys are emotionally stable and can handle the all friends situation with an ex pretty well, but for women, it is difficult as ever because every time they will talk to that guy or meet him, it will remind them of all the good memories that they had.

#3- Take your friends’ support

We all have our bad times, and we all get sad at some point in life. After a breakup too there will be urges where you would just want to get drunk and cry alone in your room. At those times it is better if you call one or two of your closest friends to share the pain with. Friends know how to make you feel normal, and they will only make that time better.

#4- Keep your phone away when you’re drunk

We are the most vulnerable when drunk. You never know when you might want to get all mushy and send a stupid text to your ex. So, if you want to deal with all the mature way, make sure that your phone is a little out of your reach while you are drunk.

#5- Get your workout game strong

Working out or indulging in some intense work routine will really help to direct all your aggression to the positive output. In addition to that, your body will feel nice and everything will feel fresh overall. Yoga, for instance, can be a lifesaver in such dramatic situations.

#6- Stay a free bird

Going out and meeting new people is always a fun experience to have. The more you busy yourself with recreations and outings, the less you will think about your breakup. If not much, then even 3 or 4 hours spent solely outside for fun will be of great help.

#7- Take it as a phase

This will perhaps be the most helpful mentally because you will be telling yourself that it was not something big and that things like these are bound to happen in everyone’s life. Think of it as a bad phase that has passed, and now you’re not supposed to think about it that much.

These seven ways will surely take you out from this bad breakup time and at the same time make you feel proud of yourself that you dealt it in a mature way.

 


Six Reasons Women Fall Out of Love

You need work on your relationship if you want it to last long. Relationships need love, nurturing and appreciation to grow. No one intends to be in a relationship where they are taken for granted, misunderstood and betrayed. Love requires trust, commitment, and respect. It’s easy to fall in love, but remaining in love and being committed to your partner forever, that’s hard.

Sometimes, love doesn’t last and gets lost. Here are six reasons why women fall out of love, and you can prevent yourself from being that “guy”.

1. The honeymoon phase is over. Some ladies have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships and marriage. They expect their life to be all sunshine and roses. However, when reality sets in, the newness of their love starts to fade away; they focus on their jobs, paying bills and other responsibilities. This makes them overwhelmed; they lose interest in the relationship, and they fall out.

2. They aren’t adored like before. For women, they like to be appreciated, acknowledged, and cherished, when they’re in a relationship. Women now become mothers, teachers, cooks, doctors, housekeepers and so on. They have to juggle and balance so many things in life. Women don’t complain about it, but if they’re adored and appreciated by their partners, it’s all worth it for them. Men do this at the beginning of the relationship, but over time they forget to express their feelings and gratitude towards them.

3. Their relationship becomes boring. When two people have been in a relationship for a long time, some men may seem to be less interested and lack passion in the relationship. We have heard a lot of ladies complaining about this. If you want your relationship to be thriving and exciting, you have got to keep it interesting and invest some time and effort in it.

4. The chemistry has been lost. During the initial stages of the dating, the chemistry between the two people is addicting. The only thing they can think about all the time is to be together and spend time with each other. As the relationship matures, the chemistry starts to fade away, and sparks aren’t there anymore. This isn’t always bad, but for women, it means that they should move on. This isn’t a mature thing to do, but for some women, that’s the only option they have to go forward.

5. She’s tired of being criticized. Nobody likes being criticized all the time. For a woman, it will destroy any warmth, respect and loving feelings they might have for their man. Some men just like to criticize and nit-pick for every little thing or “mistake”, they have done, until she feels depleted. So, now she’ll be less caring towards you and stop putting any effort into the relationship. What’s worse, to uphold her self-esteem and her respect and herself, she will end the relationship and head towards the door.

6. There is no communication and emotional connection in the marriage. Kind and loving communication between couples is a must for long-term relationships. It’s that or none. It’s vital that partners’ remains emotionally connected and be each other’s priority. It’s true we can distract in life, but one should avoid the things that distract them for what matters the most—love between two individuals. We all wanted to be loved and desired, and if that doesn’t happen, then someone will shut down and eventually, love gets lost.

Relationships aren’t perfect. If you’re feeling down with your relationship, talk with your therapist, close friends and family for support. Remember why loved this person and recall the moments he or she made feel loved and happy. Focus on that and reignite your romance and try to find happiness.