Category Archives: Breakups

5 Ways You Can Overcome Your Pain Of A Breakup

People tell you that you’re in a happy relationship. Why? Simple. Because you’ve been dating for several weeks, months or even years. Now that your relationship has ended, it feels like everything you’ve ever known is falling apart. Even worse, you can’t figure out the reason why the relationship ended. So, how do you deal with a breakup that came out of the blue?

Below are five things that may help you cope with this:

Obsess
It’s perfectly natural to obsess over something we don’t have enough information about. Your partner breaking up with you without giving much information is a perfect example. You keep thinking about the relationship and try to find out what happened and why it ended. Talking with a close friend about it can be helpful. It’s a part of grieving, and that’s exactly what you’re doing here. Though it is fine for you to be obsessive about the demise of your relationship, keep in mind, not to get stuck in it.

Reconnect
Just because you lost your significant another, doesn’t mean that no one loves you. Reconnect with your friends and family members. You need them during this crucial time. You need your friends with who you can laugh, talk, cry and they can ultimately cheer you on and support you to get over your ex and move on from this unfortunate chapter of your life.

Write About It
If you recently experienced a breakup, writing about it can help you ease the pain. When we write about something that makes little sense, particularly about our bad events and other things in life like our childhood, our health, etc., and we feel less haunted. If we desensitize our pain using some of the perspectives, it doesn’t affect our lives like it did before, which is a significant development in the healing process.

Pursue Your Goals
Distracting yourself from the grief and the negativity of your past relationship is a great approach in the healing process. Get active. Do something that you like and wanted to do for a long time but didn’t have the time to do it. Buy a bicycle. Learn how to cook. Go for a hike in the woods. Train for a marathon. Get involved in an activity that is unrelated to your previous relationship. Pursuing a new skill, goal or interest will not only distract you from obsessing about your past relationship, but it will also make you aware of the fact there is more to life than your breakup.

Let Go Of The Need To Know
Are you still thinking about all the excuses your partner gave you why he or she decided to end the relationship? Are you driving yourself crazy over the fact that maybe there is a much deeper and darker reason why this person broke up with you? Do you overly think that if you’ve known it, you and your partner could have done something about it and saved the relationship? You may never know the true intentions and the reasons it did not work out and to speak honestly, it doesn’t matter. So, let go of it.

Sometimes love ends, and it ends without any explanation or reason. So, let go of it and move forward, and find someone new, who sees you as loving and beautiful, both inside and out.


6 Reasons Why You Should Break Up With Your Partner

We all hate breakups. But when someone has been in a relationship for a while, sometimes one or both partners start questioning whether this relationship is better for them and if they are meant for each other. Some men and women realize that they aren’t happy in their relationship, and may think of ending it, but aren’t sure if it’s the right decision.

Luckily, some indications point that the relationship will be troubling in the future. Read on to find out:

1. Your partner’s emotional health isn’t great. Great emotional health is the key to a successful, long-lasting relationship. If you find that your spouse is paranoid, overly defensive, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, gets angry quickly, depressed, or has anything else that shows that he or she has emotional health deficit, it may be for the best for both of you to end the relationship.

2. Your religious and spiritual values differ. If you’re an ardently religious or spiritual person, and your partner isn't, or has no interest in your religious or spiritual matters, then you two are divided by a barrier. The same can be said when you and your spouse have vastly different views, values, and opinions about various matters. You and your spouse may have divergent views on values like compassion toward the poor, honesty, generosity, animal rights, etc. When this happens, you may experience immense disappointment, frustration and conflict is inevitable. So, it's better you move on from this relationship before things get out of control.

3. Your partner has questionable character. If your partner isn’t steadfast on qualities like honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, reliability, loyalty, and responsibility, then it demonstrates that he or she doesn’t possess a strong character.

4. You can’t resolve conflicts and arguments. If two people in an exclusive relationship can’t settle their arguments and disputes efficiently and respectfully, there is a chance that this relationship will not last. Relationships get dismissed when fights and conflicts show up regularly, and even worse if they don’t get resolved.

5. You can’t communicate at a deep level. Communication is the key to a successful relationship and marriage. Intimate communication between you and your partner is required to share each others deepest feelings, desires, dreams, insecurities, thoughts, and fears. If you and your partner find it tough to have a heartfelt conversation, you’ll face problems in your relationship in the future. Besides, if you and your partner face difficulty in expressing who you really are, the relationship will most likely fail to reach its full potential.

6. You and your partner’s interests don’t complement each other. When you realize that you and your partner have little to no interests in each other’s hobbies and activities, it’s easy to say that your relationship won’t last very long. When looking for a partner, find someone who shares two or three of your interests, in case you have five or six interests and things you like to do and enjoy. The more matches, the stronger and long-lasting your relationship will be.

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things to do. If you’re in a relationship, we hope that you haven’t found any of the listed deal breakers. And if you’ve found some of them, have a deep conversation with your partner about it before you make a final decision. If that doesn’t work, read out this informative tips on approaching girls for the first time before you start a new relationship.


8 Things You Should Avoid During a Breakup

Breakups are hard and dealing with them is even more challenging. When you’ve dated someone for a while, and all of a sudden he or she decides to end things with you, it may feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. You could feel angry, disappointed and resentful towards your ex. Some men and women blame themselves for the demise of their relationship, despite that it’s nobody’s fault. Maybe he or she didn’t feel attracted or interested towards you any longer or the love wasn’t there in the first place.

Having said that, if you’ve recently experienced a breakup, regardless of whether you’re the dumper or the one who got dumped, here are some things you should avoid saying or doing during a breakup. Read on to find out:

1. Don’t say to your ex that you never loved him or her. Be honest with yourself and don’t be overly dramatic. Breakups are painful. Deep down you’re hurt because you did love him or her.

2. Don’t say to your ex that you both can be friends. Just ask yourself why you want to be friends with someone who broke your heart? It may be awkward initially after the breakup and will take time for this to happen. Besides, most men and women want to be friends with exes in the hope that they might reconcile. However, this isn't always the case.

3. Don’t curse or give threats like wishing him or her to die alone, and so on. It’s wrong and speaks poorly about your character. So, forgive, and take the high road. Rather, keep these toxic thoughts to yourself.

4. Don’t say or do things like, ‘if there’s anything that I can do or say to give this relationship a second chance.’ Statements like these make you feel desperate. If someone made his or her decision to end the relationship, the most sensible and respectful thing for you to do now is to accept it. Besides, never ask him or her to marry you. It will look like you’re begging for love.

5. Don’t utter hurtful comments and insults like, ‘my friends hated you; you’re a bad kisser,' to your ex after breaking up with you. It appears immature. Be kind and classy.

6. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and living together, don’t ask your partner if you can still live with him or her, until you can find a new place to live. And trust me you too don’t want to be that close to him or her after the breakup.

7. Don’t blame yourself in front of your ex for the breakup. Self-deprecation in most circumstances is insincere and staged.

8. Don’t confuse your partner by telling him or her that you need space. Most men and women initiate a breakup by saying that they need some space. If you want to terminate the relationship, be clear about it, and let your partner know.

It’s for your psychological and physical well-being that you don’t obsess about the breakup and try to move on. Forgive you ex and don’t hold any grudge or negativity against the one who got away, find someone new to love and focus on the future.


Don’t Breakup Unless You Have These 8 Solid Reasons

It’s pretty straight forward that breaking up with someone you like and been in a relationship with, is one of the hardest things to do. Besides, coping and moving on after a breakup is extremely difficult, and for some men and women, it can be so devastating that they never get over it. It could makes someone abandon dating altogether and accept the fact that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. But sometimes breaking up with someone becomes inevitable and may be the right thing to do.

Here are 8 top reasons to break up with your partner:

1. You start to realize that the relationship has no future. After dating for some time, you notice that the relationship has already run its course, and ending it will be for the better optionfor both of you.

2. There is no love left in the relationship. You realize that the relationship ran out of love and excitement, and there is no chance this relationship will result in a marriage or long term commitment. You even may start regretting not ending the relationship earlier. Anyway, it’s still not too late. Don’t cling to it any longer.

3. You’ve been physically, mentally and emotionally abused in the relationship. Some damages don't heal, and it will only get even worse if you stay in an abusive relationship. So, get out and move on.

4. You partner has cheated on you in the relationship. Relationships hardly get better after a cheating scandal. So, let him or her go. Besides, you may not feel attracted to your partner any longer. If you feel like you've lost interest, take the high road and end the relationship.

5. Your family, your friends and all the people you know are disapproving your relationship. Your friends and family are the most supportive and trustworthy to you. If they dislike your partner, they may see something you don't.

6. Your values, opinions, and interests don’t align with each other. It’s fine if you have a few different values, opinions and interests, but if there is little or none, your relationship will have problems. Also, if you see that you and your spouse don’t agree on things like family and finances, it’s okay to end things nicely and find someone new who has similar interests and priorities.

7. The relationship doesn’t bring out the best of each other. You don’t feel good about yourself when you’re with your partner. You feel uncomfortable about the relationship. The relationship isn’t making you grow personally. Your intuition also tells you that the relationship is unhealthy. If that the case, end it quickly.

8. You’re unhappy to be in the relationship. We understand that every relationship has its ups and downs. But, you may find yourself always depressed and frustrated about being the relationship. You can’t recall the last time you felt happy or had a good time with your significant other.

If most of the points covered above are the current state of your relationship, then maybe it’s time to leave this relationship. Find someone new and be in a relationship where you can be happy and fulfilled.


How to End a Bad Date Nicely

Let’s be clear, bad dates happen, and sometimes they must be intervened and stopped in the middle – straightaway. If you can simply no longer tolerate your date, and you can’t control your date’s behavior, there is a way where you can end gracefully and humanely, without both parties feeling bad for themselves. So, how do you end a bad date in the middle without being rude or harsh?

First, remember anyone can have a bad day. Sometimes your date isn’t acting nice because he or she is having a bad day or in a bad mood. People also act badly when they’re having personal problems that are causing them a lot of stress. So, instead of investigating why your date is not acting the way you wanted or being rude, just start the process to dismiss the date. Well, if you two click somehow, you can reschedule and give your date a second chance. But, for now, just end it.

Second, when you end a date in the middle, do it gracefully, even if he or she has been rude to you. If your date has said something that is straightforward ugly, abusive or hurtful, in those rare situations you don’t need to be nice and graceful. In these rare occasions, just say your date that you’re sorry and not interested at the date, and need to leave. Don’t worry too much about hurting your date’s feelings as you can clearly see he or she hasn’t been kind to your feelings either. However, try to end as much as gracefully, and don’t say something like “Go To Hell!” and so on.

Third, don’t end your date quickly, after you’ve decided to end it in the middle. When you realize that the moment has arrived that you can’t tolerate being with your date even for a minute, don’t end it immediately. It might seem uncomfortable to you but wait for ten to fifteen minutes before you leave. Say, you’re in the middle of a meal, finish it first or wait till your finishes it. If you and your date are having a drink, wait until you or both of you finishes. Once they do that, say something like you’re sorry, something just came up and that you’ve to leave. In such a situation, either your date will feel confused or will know that you probably are not interested. Another thing you can do to end the date gracefully is to pay half of all the expenses, whether it’s meal, drink, etc. This is a graceful and respectable gesture on your part, even if your date hasn’t been very friendly and kind to you throughout the date.

Fourth, at the end of the date, don’t say or do anything you don’t want to do. If you happen to leave a date in the middle, it’s downright awkward to say something like, “Goodbye,” let alone share a light kiss or a hug. Once you ended a date in the middle, walk out together, and only say, “Wish you all the best”or“It was nice meeting you,” or “Have a nice day or night.” Saying this implies that your date knows very well that you will never see him or her again. But the good thing is you both have ended the date with a nice note.

When you’re looking for someone, you might come across a few bad dates. It’s nothing serious as bad dates are a part of the dating process. The key is ending the date kindly, gracefully and without holding any grudges against each other.


5 Don’ts of Breakup Etiquette

A relationship binds two people with the same thread that is expected to remain as it is for eternity. But, life is not like raindrops on the roses all the time, isn’t it? It has got some crucial stages and dealing with them is a part of being alive.

When you and your partner seem to disagree on staying threaded up anymore, it shows the sure sign of a breakup. Though it’s the most pathetic part of a relationship, you should not fall short of your conscience. Who knows if something better is on your way? Let me introduce you with 5 don’ts of breakup etiquette that you should follow in your life-

1. Letting others know that you’re doing great
Don’t you think it’s too normal to be upset after a breakup? Of course, it is! Pretending to be alright in front of the people is certainly not going to make you feel better. So, let others know that you’re at the worst stage of your life, upset, helpless. It is not going to make you a laughing stock rather your true friends will then find a valid reason to comfort you by discussing your problems and finding the best solutions to heal your pain.

2. Planning to take a revenge
Taking revenge on the person you used to love yesterday is the worst possible thing you can do. Never plan to harm your ex even if they have done a lot to you. If you owe something from them, arrange a formal discussion and sort things out as if you nothing happened between you two. An act of revenge only breeds hatred and bitterness which will make it tough to heal the wounds.

3. Begging to forgive you
Though it’s nothing wrong to seek forgiveness but begging is highly inappropriate! Remember, your personality is your asset. Begging will do nothing but belittle you in front of your loved one. It will eventually end up in creating a poor image of yourself. So, take your steps wisely because getting a rejection upon seeking forgiveness is not only regretful but also a great sign of humiliation.

4. Stalking your ex at the social platforms
Using social platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, or Instagram is very common these days. Your ex might love to put his/her updates or uploading photos on these platforms to share with their friends. You should not stalk them and keep a watchful eye on their updates. Let them live their life! Unfriending or unfollowing them will help you forget them quite faster.

5. Living with loneliness
You may consider it a good idea to isolate yourself from your friends so that you can avoid their awkward questions. But the reality is – your best friends are always ready to walk an extra mile for your happiness. Break the discomfort and stay with them as much as possible.

Above all, don’t take too much pressure on you. Avoid being crazy and going out of control. Since you cannot change the consequences, go through it. Time heals everything!


Want To Destroy Your Relationship? Then Read This!

Relationships are meant to last a lifetime, but some men and women do their best to ruin almost every one of their relationships completely. It may sound preposterous, but here is how you can completely destroy your relationships. Read on:

1. Don’t take any responsibility for your feelings. Pay no attention to your feelings, your sense of safety and security. Be sure that your neglect your feelings up to the point that a hole will be created in your soul, which can only be filled by sex, material things, or someone else’s affection and love.

2. Find someone else to fill your emptiness, shallowness within yourself, make you feel happy, love and feel secure. The best way to do it is to date someone who will promise and sacrifice his or her happiness and love for you.

3. Once you found the right person, be sure to give yourself up completely. Focus all your attention on the other person’s needs and feelings. Make sure to ignore your feelings and needs entirely. Keeping on hoping that if you be kind and sacrifice all of your happiness for the other person, the other person will do it for you, too. Next, demand that your partner lives up to your expectations, and gradually be more and more demanding of that person. If he or she fails, don’t forget to blame, berate, criticize, yell, disrespect, lecture, and fight with your partner.

4. Now, your relationship goal is to gain complete control on your partner by completely giving up his or her feelings and needs, and focusing only on your emptiness and needs exclusively. By doing so, you now have the opportunity to make your partner feel guilty and responsible for your feelings as now you have low self-esteem and vulnerable. Think of being the victim here. As you notice by now, your relationship is already started to decline, and there are more arguments, fights, lack of intimacy and passion, and poor communication between you and your partner. You have withdrawn from your spouse, spend less and less time with your spouse, and spend most of your time alone or with other people. All good indications that it’s just matter of time your relationship gets dismissed.

5. You’re almost there! Your relationship is on the brink of ruin, but for some reason, you want to give your relationship a second chance. You get your partner into relationship counseling. You think counseling will help your spouse to change. But there’s a catch here. Instead, of taking accountability and responsibility of both of your actions for all the problems in your relationship, you do the opposite.

6. You tell the therapist that everything your partner does is wrong, and be sure to prove that your partner is wrong and you’re always right. Don’t also forget to tell you are the good one and your partner is the bad one in the relationship.

Congratulations! You have managed to make your relationship terrible and end it! Now, you be miserable and alone again and leave your partner believing that it’s his or her fault that the relationship broke up. Now, you can find someone new, and repeat the whole thing again!


Four Reasons Talking to Your Ex Partner is A Bad Idea

There’s an explanation why most men and women reject the idea to be friends or maintain a connection with their exes after the relationship ends. It’s because trying to maintain the connection barely works and can harm you. Here are four reasons why maintain a connection with your ex is not good for you:

Talking with your former partner creates a false hope that you both will be reconciled and be couples again. You know that your ex isn’t right for you, which is the first reason you broke up with him or her. Communicating with your ex can create major issues. After a breakup; anger, sadness, and confusion creep into your life. After the previous relationship has ended, you might feel insecure. This will make you vulnerable to get you into an emotional and sexual connection with your ex to make you feel better and find some mental happiness. The problem here is that the more you keep maintain connections with your exes, you’ll find it even harder to get over your ex. It will also diminish all the progress you made during the healing process.

You might compare your new partner with your ex. Regardless how mentally restrained you are, time will come when you’ll begin to compare your new love interest with your ex. And it will come much sooner if you keep regular contact with your former lover. Give your new relationship a chance to thrive and develop. You and your ex tried your best to be in your past relationship, and it didn’t work out. So, stop it now and move on.

You may start thinking romantically about the previous relationship with your ex. This is very common with newly single men and women. And the bad thing is that they always romanticize only the good times they had with exes, not the bad times. This is all too obvious, and your mind is playing these mental tricks on you. So, stop thinking about all the good times and instead focus on the bad stuff that ended your relationship. You can leave a negative message on your fridge door or diary, or just ask a friend to remind you of all the wrong sides of your previous relationship, whenever you start missing your ex or reminisce the good moments you had together.

You new partner will most likely feel uncomfortable and awkward while talking to your ex. Let’s be honest; dating is stressful. There are so many unknown things when you meet someone new, whether it’s online dating, a blind date, someone your friend recommended, etc. We don’t know their real qualities, character and their level of honesty and integrity. So, don’t make things even more complicated than they already are, by asking your new partner to have a conversation with your ex. This may compel your new love interest that you still have feelings for him or her, and chances are there that your new partner might not want to date you anymore.

The bottom line is, after a breakup, it’s best for you and your partner to avoid having any communication with your ex. It will help you with your healing process, get over your ex, move on and position yourself to establish a new and loving relationship with someone better for you. To help you finding a deserving partner, we have created this awesome blog post on getting a new girlfriend. Check this out.


How To Deal With Dead-End Relationships

In relationships, if we don’t have a strong sense of ourselves, we end up being in relationships with someone who precisely fit the traits we’ve rejected, disowned and abated. For example, if you happened to be someone coming from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that you’ll have a partner who too, has a dysfunctional family.

When you meet a man and have a strong chemistry, you start that to feel that you can’t live with him. Give it a few months to a few years; you’ll realize that he is making you mad – but in a bad way. He seems not to notice your needs, let alone fulfill them. You want him to give you attention, gifts and to adore you. Instead, he takes you for the usual dinner date every weekend.

So, you try everything to make him pay more attention to you. You cook him nice dinner, lose some weight, dress sexy, and suggest that you both visit a therapist. Nothing drastic happens that will bring the love back when you first met each other. So, you do more, and doing it makes him move even farther away from you. The fire in the relationship dies, and you’re back to square one.

The only thing that will make you love you back is to love yourself back. It’s self-love that will bring back the spark in your relationship. To achieve self-love, it is necessary you develop the ability to receive love, help, and support. You should be accepting to receiving compliments. Here are five techniques that will be helpful to receive love from your partner:

1. Note down your intention for the relationship. How do you want to be treated? How do you want to feel? What spiritual goal do you want to achieve in this relationship? How does your partner lead his life?

2. We have good, bad and the ugly part of our life. Create a list of the all the behaviors and traits that your ex-partners had in common – good, bad or unmentionable. Then put down a note beside of each item. The note will have a reminder of all the things that you’ve have seen in one or both of your parents.

3. Now, make a list of critical things that you wanted to receive from the relationship. If you have a partner or dating, someone, ask them to do the same like you did including the traits list. Try to understand in which way you wanted to be loved by your partner or in the way you want to love your partner.

4. Track the amount of time you spend doing all the activities you did in a month. Now, separately highlight all the things you don’t like to do. Do you want to get rid or redesign the activities you like to do and don’t like do? Find out which tasks will be helpful to self-love.

5. Make a dreamy collage of pictures that depict your genuine and honest feelings about love, intimacy, relationship, marriage, and family. Place it in place that you can always see when you wake up in the morning and go to sleep in the night. It will help you program your subconscious and help you focus on what you truly desire in a relationship. Get rid of any physical things that aren’t beautiful, meaningful or useful in life.

Dealing with a dead-end relationship isn’t easy. But these tips will help to put the all things essential in your eyes and hands that will bring back the love in your heart.


Is Your Relationship Affecting You Too Much?

Relationships aren’t easy. Many men and women have been persistently complaining that they’re giving too much in their relationships. They say that their relationships are taking a toll on them; they started to resent it and feel that they aren’t appreciated enough for their efforts. Even more unfortunate is the man that you gave so much of you has now broken up with you and moved on with someone else. It feels like the other woman is getting the benefits what you actually deserved in the first place.

Thinking about all the efforts you sacrificed for the relationship, in which you got little or no returns – keep us awake at night, and you keep punishing yourself for being too naive and foolish.

But did you ask yourself why did you allow yourself to give so much in the relationship and why did you receive so little in return? Ask yourself why you were content by getting only the crumbs of the whole bread? The truth is you were in an “on demand” relationship.

So, how did it get here? During the early days of the relationship, things were better and strong, the romance was alive, and it appeared like your man really cared and loved you. But as the relationship matures over time, love begins to fizzle, the spark isn’t there anymore, and it is at this point that most women gets scared and start to feel insecure. They start to believe that it is their sole duty to reignite the romance in the relationship and make it loving and exciting again.

Most women realize that their man isn’t their soulmate they always dreamed. But, the fear of loneliness and to start the whole thing to find love again makes them stressed out. So they give their relationship another chance and try to make it work. Many women wrongly assume that if they showed their partners how much they loved them, how good and caring they can be to them, they’ll naturally love them back. Their men will be kind, caring and love them back. But the harsh reality is that things don't always work out as we expect it to be.

So, what’s the best approach to show our partners how we feel? We start by catering to their needs. We do the laundry, cook, shop, clean the house, organize things, buy gifts, donate money, etc., and so forth. We do stuff that they like, and we do it without questioning it. We aren’t telling that these actions are useless, but it’s the intention behind these actions that needs to be noticed and appreciated. You have invested your energy, time and money to make a man love you back, while you’ve destroyed yourself from within. You do and do, and get little to nothing in return.

Both partners need to contribute equally in a committed and healthy relationship. If you’re in an “on demand” relationship, question yourself if you resent your relationship because you owe it something. If you feel it that, then it’s safe to conclude that feelings between you and your partner aren’t mutual anymore. It’s indication that the relationship doesn’t have what it takes to grow and thrive in the future. If you stop giving any more, and your partner steps in and starts giving, then maybe the relationship does have a chance. And if nothing happens, it’s time you abandon the relationship and walk away.