Category Archives: Breakups

9 Big Reasons Your Partner Breakups With You

You’re dating; everything feels wonderful. And then the bad news comes along. He breaks up with you. The beautiful world you created around you starts to fall apart. You’re stunned and puzzled to why did he or she break up with you.

Here are the nine biggest reasons why relationships end:

1. You want to get married, but he doesn't. You want to get married soon, but your man isn’t enthusiastic about it. It feels like a lot of pressure for him, so he opted out, no surprises there. He might love you, but it’s clear that his relationship goals are entirely different than yours. You’re lucky here. It’s time you date someone who is ready for marriage.

2. Long distance relationships. Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder for people. Long-distance relationships might work for some people, but for most, it doesn’t. Most of us need to spend a lot of time and effort with our partners to make our feelings strong for each other.

3. Financial problems. The harsh reality is when it comes to relationships, money matters. It’s hard to make it work if one of is unemployed, ridden with debt, struggling to pay bills, or working two jobs to ends meet. It can create a lot of stress in the relationship. However, communication can help to minimize it to some extent.

4. Emotional issues. If you’ve been dating someone for some time, you get to know whether he or she has serious emotional problems like anger, jealousy, depression, etc. Many will leave the relationship if they found that one of their partners has some serious emotional baggage.

5. You keep secrets. Relationships end if one of the partners haven’t been honest or lied to the other person about something specific in their life. So, if you have a drinking problem, don’t keep it a secret from your date or partner.

6. Jealousy. Do you feel paranoiac or threatened when your girlfriend/boyfriend hangouts with their opposite-sex friends? If yes, then it might be your jealousy. Even if you don’t tell it to your partner openly, your behavior will make it apparent. Unless you can address it, it’s time you break up with him or her.

7. Religious beliefs. For some men and women, their spirituality or religious beliefs are very much a part of their identity and play a significant role in their daily lives. So, if their partners aren’t religious or their religious beliefs don’t align with each other, it can be a deal-breaker.

8. The family gets in the way. Family plays a critical role when it comes to choosing which person you can or marry. So, if your family is dominating, intrusive, or belittles your partner, there is a high possibility that he or she will leave the relationship.

9. The love runs out, or they are in love with someone else. Sometimes breakups take place because the love simply isn’t there for the relationship to continue. The chemistry and the spark that was present in the initial days of the relationship fizzled out. Or, maybe the whole thing was an infatuation. Breakups also happen if one of the partners is in love with someone else. This one is the most painful. You both have a loving relationship, and suddenly your partner decides to end the relationship as they found someone else to love. What’s more painful is that your partner has found someone who is better than you.

4 Things To Look At After Your Relationship Ends

Just like that and you’re no longer in a relationship. You feel dejected, sad, frustrated and hopeless. The firm foundations of respect, communication, trust and ever-lasting love has been shaken, and you feel destroyed. Breakups hit us hard. We get very upset; we don’t get enough sleep or eat right, and constantly worried about the future. You begin to blame yourself for the collapse of the relationship and also feel justified that it ended.

So, how it goes from here? Try these four things when your relationship has fallen apart.

1. Acknowledge and be honest about what just happened
The first thing we suggest after the demise of a relationship is to access your current situation. Stop thinking for the time being, what the future holds for you or what your ex will do next. Also, stop over thinking what could have happened if you or your partner acted differently. Instead, be in the present and get a clear idea what took place between the two of you. Think about what was said and the actions that really occurred. Recall what was said, what happened and how you feel about it.

2. Be truthful to yourself and do what is best for you
You should never end or leave a relationship just because one of the partners made some mistakes and there were heated arguments. But, we advise that you think very careful and conscious while making important life decisions like staying or leaving a relationship. Always put yourself first in the equation and do what’s best for you and your future. Remind yourself that you’ve every right to be in a happy relationship and leave one if it’s not meeting your expectations. Before you leave a relationship; it’s crucial that you know about your partner’s actions and actual intentions. For example, if your partner has been cheating on you and if you’re ending the relationship because of it make sure about whether the affair has ended or not.

3. Take responsibility for your role.
It takes two hands to make a clap. It’s fine that you ended your relationship because your partner has cheated on you or said some really mean and hurtful things to you. But, don’t put all the blame on your spouse. Maybe you too had played a part in it. Try to determine what your role is and was that forced both of you to break up. We aren’t saying that you’re to be blamed for what actually happened. We are just asking you to be responsible for the part in your relationship that caused it to collapse.

4. Take your next best step.
For some couples, the next best step for them is to end their relationship and get reunited again. Again, they have the same argument again and break up for the next time. Actions like these will only bring more pain and build up more hostility against each other. So, go through the above steps we’ve recommended, and you can know what to do for your best interest. Some of the actions won’t make sense to you, but it will certainly be right for you.

Whether you’re dating or having some problems in your relationship, keep checking in with yourself before you make big decisions like breaking up, getting married, or looking for a new relationship.

5 Ways To Break Up With Someone Gracefully

That terrible moment has arrived. You’ve finally decided to end the relationship. She isn’t the right person for you, and you know very well that you’re going to break her heart. She has been crazy in love with you, and she likes hanging out with you just like you do. But, at the end, you realize the love, the excitement, and the chemistry aren't there anymore. That raging fire in the relationship extinguished a long time ago. She has been pressuring you to spend more time with her, to commit more, and to take the next important step in the relationship, but you simply resist. You feel overwhelmed and reached to the point that you started to ignore her calls and texts, and get annoyed quickly by her anxious requests.

Breaking up with someone you love isn’t easy, and no matter how hard you try to make it easy or pleasant, the other person will get hurt tremendously. However, there are ways to end a relationship that will minimize the pain while keeping all the necessary boundaries intact. Read on to find more:

1. Don’t make it about her. When you bash or talk ill about your partner to someone, two things can happen. One, she can get defensive and attack you back. Things can get ugly really quick. And two, it will give her the opportunity to be of the person you like her to see and quit her unwanted tendencies. Besides, you’ll have to deal with a conversation that’s already uncomfortable where she pleads to give her another chance to make things better.

2. Make it about you. This is no brainer. It’s has been all about you anyway. Be honest and tell the truth that the reason you’re breaking up with her is that some things didn’t work out. Also, tell her that you don’t want the same things she wants, or you can’t meet her wants and needs.

3. Don’t give any false hope you might change your decision in the future. It’s unwise to give your ex false hope that you might feel different about the decision and can reconcile. Make the ending final. Be kind and respectful, but adamant. Set her free, let go of her, so she can find someone new and move on with her life.

4. Don’t talk or see her after the end of the conversation. After having the breakup talk, don’t agree if she wants or begs to see or speak to you for the last time. Even if you miss her sometimes, don’t think of reaching out to her. Make the break up as clean as you can. If you call or text her, it will just give out the wrong message, and your ex will think that you miss and be together again.

5. Take some time out and reflect on your past relationship. After ending a romantic relationship, don’t start dating someone quickly to compensate for your loneliness. Rather take some time out of your busy schedule and reflect on what just happened, what this relationship has taught you, what you have learned about yourself, your needs, your desires, etc.

Use these learning and apply it to your next relationship. Appreciate the lessons, love, gratitude and gifts that your ex has given to you.

Learn How to Get Over Someone Who Was Never Meant for You

Breaking up with someone is always hurtful, and it’s even worse if it happens on the first date. The more we keep thinking about the person who got away, the more attached we get to them, and the greater our disappointment and frustration may become.

It’s in our nature to think about the heartbreaking breakups so that we can make sense of  them. We persistently think about why things didn’t work between us – did we make any mistakes? Is there anything we could have tried doing differently? We may make assumptions and excuses at times as well.

Some men and women try to achieve closure by believing that the breakup was inevitable because one person attempted to take things fast despite repeated request by the other person to take things more slowly. This is one mistake individuals who are looking for relationships definitely should avoid.

However, sometimes we may face difficulty while moving on. This is not uncommon. You may be constantly keep replaying the moments of the breakup and the conversation we had. You could feel outraged, frustrated and get hurt every time it is replayed. We continuously keep rehearsing all the things we could have said and done to make things right, despite that fact that we already know it’s never going to work. The biggest problem with this type of self-reflection is that by replaying the same thoughts, conversations and scenes over and over again in our minds, will give no positive outcome. There won’t be any new ideas, understandings, insights, views, or anything worthy to learn. In fact, doing this could increase feelings of depression and anger.

Moreover, grieving in this way for a long period will only increase the frequency and desperation, which will make us think the same memories and scenes even more. Stress levels may see an immediate increase and stress hormones could reach critical levels. Besides, spending too much time brooding about the past, rather than doing something that’s actually productive, may also increase feelings of helplessness. In turn, you can become even more depressed or remain depressed for an extended period. You may become disinterested in having new relationships or getting back out there.

The takeaway here is to remain productive and active, even after thinking about the one who was never meant to be our partners. It is perfectly fine to brood over someone you liked despite the rejection, but you also have to be practical. If you find yourself stuck in the sulking process, you may have to be aggressive to break from this unproductive habit and distract yourself by doing something else. The sooner you heal psychologically and emotionally, the sooner you can get out from this vicious circle, and move on and find someone new who will be interested in having a relationship.

5 Ways You Can Overcome Your Pain Of A Breakup

People tell you that you’re in a happy relationship. Why? Simple. Because you’ve been dating for several weeks, months or even years. Now that your relationship has ended, it feels like everything you’ve ever known is falling apart. Even worse, you can’t figure out the reason why the relationship ended. So, how do you deal with a breakup that came out of the blue?

Below are five things that may help you cope with this:

It’s perfectly natural to obsess over something we don’t have enough information about. Your partner breaking up with you without giving much information is a perfect example. You keep thinking about the relationship and try to find out what happened and why it ended. Talking with a close friend about it can be helpful. It’s a part of grieving, and that’s exactly what you’re doing here. Though it is fine for you to be obsessive about the demise of your relationship, keep in mind, not to get stuck in it.

Just because you lost your significant another, doesn’t mean that no one loves you. Reconnect with your friends and family members. You need them during this crucial time. You need your friends with who you can laugh, talk, cry and they can ultimately cheer you on and support you to get over your ex and move on from this unfortunate chapter of your life.

Write About It
If you recently experienced a breakup, writing about it can help you ease the pain. When we write about something that makes little sense, particularly about our bad events and other things in life like our childhood, our health, etc., and we feel less haunted. If we desensitize our pain using some of the perspectives, it doesn’t affect our lives like it did before, which is a significant development in the healing process.

Pursue Your Goals
Distracting yourself from the grief and the negativity of your past relationship is a great approach in the healing process. Get active. Do something that you like and wanted to do for a long time but didn’t have the time to do it. Buy a bicycle. Learn how to cook. Go for a hike in the woods. Train for a marathon. Get involved in an activity that is unrelated to your previous relationship. Pursuing a new skill, goal or interest will not only distract you from obsessing about your past relationship, but it will also make you aware of the fact there is more to life than your breakup.

Let Go Of The Need To Know
Are you still thinking about all the excuses your partner gave you why he or she decided to end the relationship? Are you driving yourself crazy over the fact that maybe there is a much deeper and darker reason why this person broke up with you? Do you overly think that if you’ve known it, you and your partner could have done something about it and saved the relationship? You may never know the true intentions and the reasons it did not work out and to speak honestly, it doesn’t matter. So, let go of it.

Sometimes love ends, and it ends without any explanation or reason. So, let go of it and move forward, and find someone new, who sees you as loving and beautiful, both inside and out.

6 Reasons Why You Should Break Up With Your Partner

We all hate breakups. But when someone has been in a relationship for a while, sometimes one or both partners start questioning whether this relationship is better for them and if they are meant for each other. Some men and women realize that they aren’t happy in their relationship, and may think of ending it, but aren’t sure if it’s the right decision.

Luckily, some indications point that the relationship will be troubling in the future. Read on to find out:

1. Your partner’s emotional health isn’t great. Great emotional health is the key to a successful, long-lasting relationship. If you find that your spouse is paranoid, overly defensive, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, gets angry quickly, depressed, or has anything else that shows that he or she has emotional health deficit, it may be for the best for both of you to end the relationship.

2. Your religious and spiritual values differ. If you’re an ardently religious or spiritual person, and your partner isn't, or has no interest in your religious or spiritual matters, then you two are divided by a barrier. The same can be said when you and your spouse have vastly different views, values, and opinions about various matters. You and your spouse may have divergent views on values like compassion toward the poor, honesty, generosity, animal rights, etc. When this happens, you may experience immense disappointment, frustration and conflict is inevitable. So, it's better you move on from this relationship before things get out of control.

3. Your partner has questionable character. If your partner isn’t steadfast on qualities like honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, reliability, loyalty, and responsibility, then it demonstrates that he or she doesn’t possess a strong character.

4. You can’t resolve conflicts and arguments. If two people in an exclusive relationship can’t settle their arguments and disputes efficiently and respectfully, there is a chance that this relationship will not last. Relationships get dismissed when fights and conflicts show up regularly, and even worse if they don’t get resolved.

5. You can’t communicate at a deep level. Communication is the key to a successful relationship and marriage. Intimate communication between you and your partner is required to share each others deepest feelings, desires, dreams, insecurities, thoughts, and fears. If you and your partner find it tough to have a heartfelt conversation, you’ll face problems in your relationship in the future. Besides, if you and your partner face difficulty in expressing who you really are, the relationship will most likely fail to reach its full potential.

6. You and your partner’s interests don’t complement each other. When you realize that you and your partner have little to no interests in each other’s hobbies and activities, it’s easy to say that your relationship won’t last very long. When looking for a partner, find someone who shares two or three of your interests, in case you have five or six interests and things you like to do and enjoy. The more matches, the stronger and long-lasting your relationship will be.

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things to do. If you’re in a relationship, we hope that you haven’t found any of the listed deal breakers. And if you’ve found some of them, have a deep conversation with your partner about it before you make a final decision. If that doesn’t work, read out this informative tips on approaching girls for the first time before you start a new relationship.

8 Things You Should Avoid During a Breakup

Breakups are hard and dealing with them is even more challenging. When you’ve dated someone for a while, and all of a sudden he or she decides to end things with you, it may feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. You could feel angry, disappointed and resentful towards your ex. Some men and women blame themselves for the demise of their relationship, despite that it’s nobody’s fault. Maybe he or she didn’t feel attracted or interested towards you any longer or the love wasn’t there in the first place.

Having said that, if you’ve recently experienced a breakup, regardless of whether you’re the dumper or the one who got dumped, here are some things you should avoid saying or doing during a breakup. Read on to find out:

1. Don’t say to your ex that you never loved him or her. Be honest with yourself and don’t be overly dramatic. Breakups are painful. Deep down you’re hurt because you did love him or her.

2. Don’t say to your ex that you both can be friends. Just ask yourself why you want to be friends with someone who broke your heart? It may be awkward initially after the breakup and will take time for this to happen. Besides, most men and women want to be friends with exes in the hope that they might reconcile. However, this isn't always the case.

3. Don’t curse or give threats like wishing him or her to die alone, and so on. It’s wrong and speaks poorly about your character. So, forgive, and take the high road. Rather, keep these toxic thoughts to yourself.

4. Don’t say or do things like, ‘if there’s anything that I can do or say to give this relationship a second chance.’ Statements like these make you feel desperate. If someone made his or her decision to end the relationship, the most sensible and respectful thing for you to do now is to accept it. Besides, never ask him or her to marry you. It will look like you’re begging for love.

5. Don’t utter hurtful comments and insults like, ‘my friends hated you; you’re a bad kisser,' to your ex after breaking up with you. It appears immature. Be kind and classy.

6. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and living together, don’t ask your partner if you can still live with him or her, until you can find a new place to live. And trust me you too don’t want to be that close to him or her after the breakup.

7. Don’t blame yourself in front of your ex for the breakup. Self-deprecation in most circumstances is insincere and staged.

8. Don’t confuse your partner by telling him or her that you need space. Most men and women initiate a breakup by saying that they need some space. If you want to terminate the relationship, be clear about it, and let your partner know.

It’s for your psychological and physical well-being that you don’t obsess about the breakup and try to move on. Forgive you ex and don’t hold any grudge or negativity against the one who got away, find someone new to love and focus on the future.

Don’t Breakup Unless You Have These 8 Solid Reasons

It’s pretty straight forward that breaking up with someone you like and been in a relationship with, is one of the hardest things to do. Besides, coping and moving on after a breakup is extremely difficult, and for some men and women, it can be so devastating that they never get over it. It could makes someone abandon dating altogether and accept the fact that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. But sometimes breaking up with someone becomes inevitable and may be the right thing to do.

Here are 8 top reasons to break up with your partner:

1. You start to realize that the relationship has no future. After dating for some time, you notice that the relationship has already run its course, and ending it will be for the better optionfor both of you.

2. There is no love left in the relationship. You realize that the relationship ran out of love and excitement, and there is no chance this relationship will result in a marriage or long term commitment. You even may start regretting not ending the relationship earlier. Anyway, it’s still not too late. Don’t cling to it any longer.

3. You’ve been physically, mentally and emotionally abused in the relationship. Some damages don't heal, and it will only get even worse if you stay in an abusive relationship. So, get out and move on.

4. You partner has cheated on you in the relationship. Relationships hardly get better after a cheating scandal. So, let him or her go. Besides, you may not feel attracted to your partner any longer. If you feel like you've lost interest, take the high road and end the relationship.

5. Your family, your friends and all the people you know are disapproving your relationship. Your friends and family are the most supportive and trustworthy to you. If they dislike your partner, they may see something you don't.

6. Your values, opinions, and interests don’t align with each other. It’s fine if you have a few different values, opinions and interests, but if there is little or none, your relationship will have problems. Also, if you see that you and your spouse don’t agree on things like family and finances, it’s okay to end things nicely and find someone new who has similar interests and priorities.

7. The relationship doesn’t bring out the best of each other. You don’t feel good about yourself when you’re with your partner. You feel uncomfortable about the relationship. The relationship isn’t making you grow personally. Your intuition also tells you that the relationship is unhealthy. If that the case, end it quickly.

8. You’re unhappy to be in the relationship. We understand that every relationship has its ups and downs. But, you may find yourself always depressed and frustrated about being the relationship. You can’t recall the last time you felt happy or had a good time with your significant other.

If most of the points covered above are the current state of your relationship, then maybe it’s time to leave this relationship. Find someone new and be in a relationship where you can be happy and fulfilled.

How to End a Bad Date Nicely

Let’s be clear, bad dates happen, and sometimes they must be intervened and stopped in the middle – straightaway. If you can simply no longer tolerate your date, and you can’t control your date’s behavior, there is a way where you can end gracefully and humanely, without both parties feeling bad for themselves. So, how do you end a bad date in the middle without being rude or harsh?

First, remember anyone can have a bad day. Sometimes your date isn’t acting nice because he or she is having a bad day or in a bad mood. People also act badly when they’re having personal problems that are causing them a lot of stress. So, instead of investigating why your date is not acting the way you wanted or being rude, just start the process to dismiss the date. Well, if you two click somehow, you can reschedule and give your date a second chance. But, for now, just end it.

Second, when you end a date in the middle, do it gracefully, even if he or she has been rude to you. If your date has said something that is straightforward ugly, abusive or hurtful, in those rare situations you don’t need to be nice and graceful. In these rare occasions, just say your date that you’re sorry and not interested at the date, and need to leave. Don’t worry too much about hurting your date’s feelings as you can clearly see he or she hasn’t been kind to your feelings either. However, try to end as much as gracefully, and don’t say something like “Go To Hell!” and so on.

Third, don’t end your date quickly, after you’ve decided to end it in the middle. When you realize that the moment has arrived that you can’t tolerate being with your date even for a minute, don’t end it immediately. It might seem uncomfortable to you but wait for ten to fifteen minutes before you leave. Say, you’re in the middle of a meal, finish it first or wait till your finishes it. If you and your date are having a drink, wait until you or both of you finishes. Once they do that, say something like you’re sorry, something just came up and that you’ve to leave. In such a situation, either your date will feel confused or will know that you probably are not interested. Another thing you can do to end the date gracefully is to pay half of all the expenses, whether it’s meal, drink, etc. This is a graceful and respectable gesture on your part, even if your date hasn’t been very friendly and kind to you throughout the date.

Fourth, at the end of the date, don’t say or do anything you don’t want to do. If you happen to leave a date in the middle, it’s downright awkward to say something like, “Goodbye,” let alone share a light kiss or a hug. Once you ended a date in the middle, walk out together, and only say, “Wish you all the best”or“It was nice meeting you,” or “Have a nice day or night.” Saying this implies that your date knows very well that you will never see him or her again. But the good thing is you both have ended the date with a nice note.

When you’re looking for someone, you might come across a few bad dates. It’s nothing serious as bad dates are a part of the dating process. The key is ending the date kindly, gracefully and without holding any grudges against each other.

5 Don’ts of Breakup Etiquette

A relationship binds two people with the same thread that is expected to remain as it is for eternity. But, life is not like raindrops on the roses all the time, isn’t it? It has got some crucial stages and dealing with them is a part of being alive.

When you and your partner seem to disagree on staying threaded up anymore, it shows the sure sign of a breakup. Though it’s the most pathetic part of a relationship, you should not fall short of your conscience. Who knows if something better is on your way? Let me introduce you with 5 don’ts of breakup etiquette that you should follow in your life-

1. Letting others know that you’re doing great
Don’t you think it’s too normal to be upset after a breakup? Of course, it is! Pretending to be alright in front of the people is certainly not going to make you feel better. So, let others know that you’re at the worst stage of your life, upset, helpless. It is not going to make you a laughing stock rather your true friends will then find a valid reason to comfort you by discussing your problems and finding the best solutions to heal your pain.

2. Planning to take a revenge
Taking revenge on the person you used to love yesterday is the worst possible thing you can do. Never plan to harm your ex even if they have done a lot to you. If you owe something from them, arrange a formal discussion and sort things out as if you nothing happened between you two. An act of revenge only breeds hatred and bitterness which will make it tough to heal the wounds.

3. Begging to forgive you
Though it’s nothing wrong to seek forgiveness but begging is highly inappropriate! Remember, your personality is your asset. Begging will do nothing but belittle you in front of your loved one. It will eventually end up in creating a poor image of yourself. So, take your steps wisely because getting a rejection upon seeking forgiveness is not only regretful but also a great sign of humiliation.

4. Stalking your ex at the social platforms
Using social platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, or Instagram is very common these days. Your ex might love to put his/her updates or uploading photos on these platforms to share with their friends. You should not stalk them and keep a watchful eye on their updates. Let them live their life! Unfriending or unfollowing them will help you forget them quite faster.

5. Living with loneliness
You may consider it a good idea to isolate yourself from your friends so that you can avoid their awkward questions. But the reality is – your best friends are always ready to walk an extra mile for your happiness. Break the discomfort and stay with them as much as possible.

Above all, don’t take too much pressure on you. Avoid being crazy and going out of control. Since you cannot change the consequences, go through it. Time heals everything!