Category Archives: Breakups

8 Top Signs You Should Not Marry Him

You think you love your man. You both have been in a relationship; now you have decided to get married. You believe your man wants to get married. He says all and does all the right things, yet you begin to find that there is no match between his words and actions. You boyfriend tells that he respects you, but most of the time dismisses your opinions.

Now, you begin to doubt that if this is the man you want to marry! Some women say they can change their boyfriends after getting married, but the truth is personalities cannot be changed. Here are eight behavioral traits you cannot change or fix in a man:

1. You find him to be very controlling. He wants to be a boss in every situation like if you want to a park, he will insist on going to a restaurant. This clearly proves that he wants to have complete control of your relationship, but a real loving relationship doesn’t have that.

2. He has a condescending demeanor, and it drives you mad. He always makes the final say in all matters. There is no hierarchy in a loving relationship. His opinions and attitudes cannot be better than yours.

3. You find him to be narcissistic. People who are narcissistic believe that they are better and superior to you and have little to no regard for other people’s feelings. If you find your future husband is narcissistic, it better to end the relationship right away. Simple as that.

4. He supports bullying attitudes. Everyone hates a bully. But, the truth is bullying is also present in relationships and marriages. He will push you around and will always control and won’t let be out from his shadow. If that’s the case, it’s time to breakup with him.

5. He is manipulative. He treats you like his puppet. He always attempts to manipulate your feelings, actions, behaviors, and even your future aspirations. This is one precarious form of control. You don’t want that kind of person to be your future husband.

6. He never keeps his promises. He promised you a birthday present; he didn’t deliver it. He told to take you to a romantic dinner; he didn’t. The thing is your man has promised a lot of stuff to do, but in the end, he has a hard time honoring them.

7. You find that your boyfriend cannot be trusted. The key for a loving and long-lasting marriage is TRUST. Marriage will only survive through all good and bad times, only if both people in a relationship trust one another completely. If you don’t find your boyfriend doesn’t seem trustworthy to you, leave the relationship right away.

8. He has trouble with his finances. Because one of the primary reasons for divorces is related to financial woes, it’s important for you to marry someone who is responsible with his finances and doesn’t have any massive outstanding debts. Some signs are he’s out of work most of the time, he gambles, and buy stuff he doesn’t need or use, or you pay the bills most of the time.

So, there you have it, these eight behavioral characteristics are very real and define a person. Actions are related to personality, and you cannot change people’s personalities. Taking heed of these behavioral characteristics could save you from a marriage that is full of distress, unhappiness, and even danger.


Forgiving Your Ex is Important to Move on after a Breakup

Where there are relationships, there will be breakups. Every day many men and women decide to let go of the relationships that weren’t ideal for them. How well their next relationship will end depends on what will these newly single men and women tell themselves about their previous relationships and their exes. A crucial step to moving on after a breakup is forgiving their ex-partners and not being angry at what they did or said that led the relationship to end. If you don’t let go of the anger and forgive, you will find it difficult to move on.

These four steps that will help you in the process of forgiving your ex and let go of your anger:

Be Sure You Clearly Understand What Angered You Most About Your Ex

Of the emotions, anger is by far the most underrated. Most people are afraid of their angriness, and scared those if they are upset; it will cause them to lose control emotionally and will lead people to think that they are “mentally imbalanced,” or “crazy.” However, anger comes naturally from within us and automatically with any relationship, even in the best ones. After breaking up, take hold of your anger and recall why did your former partner do that made your angry the most? Or what things did he or she do that made me neglected, humiliated or betrayed?

Channel Your Anger into Words

Only thinking about your anger won’t help you enough in the healing process after a breakup. You have to channel all that anger into writing. Write down a few lines of the worse upsetting events with your ex in a journal and store in your closet. Writing about your thoughts is very effective because it helps to organize your feelings into small thought fragments that stick in your mind. Read what you wrote in your journal now and then, and the notes will act like an old friend consoling, supporting and assuring you if you start missing your ex. Or simply reminiscing the good and the bad times you had with your ex.

Find What Have You to Learn From Your Past Relationship

After a breakup, people often feel overwhelmed by the sense of loss, sadness, emptiness and failure. You should get rid of your anger and negative feelings by any means, so that you can move on and embark on a new relationship with a positive emotional outlook. To say goodbye to your anger and sad feelings after a breakup, focus all your mental energy to figure out what are you supposed to learn from the demise of your previous relationship. Once you understand that the relationship had to end, and then only you learned a valuable lesson. You will feel more confident towards your ex and won’t feel hard forgive him or her.

What Should You Tell People When Asked About Your Ex-Partner

When you have a breakup and start to move on, people will wonder what went wrong with your ex. Instead of bad-mouthing your anger, tell them, you both were solid at first, but then something went wrong, and you both tried the best to fix it. But then you both found out there is no future in this relationship. So, now you both learned your lessons and trying to move on.

So there you have it, we know breakups are painful, and they aren’t anybody fault. After all, our ex-partners are in fact more like northern stars, directing us towards new people that will make us happy and be better partners to us in the future.


Signs That He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

There is nothing more painful and worse than the feeling of losing the love of your life. He is the only one who means everything to you and undoubtedly these feelings also existed on his part as well, but it seems like that it is fading out. It looks like he is slipping away from you. He is not the same person who used to be, who used to care about you, who use to love you and who used to always stand by your side no matter what it takes. You have started observing a change in his attitude, and deep down in your heart, your fear of losing him began to grow very rapidly. But still, you don’t want to believe it or perhaps you might be confused about it. So, rather than assuming or getting puzzled, read out the following the following points to get a clear idea about the situation.

He suddenly starts demanding space

Although there had been no recent changes in the behavior and the way you two are working out on your relationship, he starts asking you for a little space; then you need to get alert about it. Ask him the reason for his demand. If he tells you something specific and precise than that is fine and you both can tackle the situation together. But if the answer is somewhat a little vague and confusing then there might be the chances that he is losing interest in you.

Comparison with other girls

Girls never want to be compared to any other girl. And of course men should never pass on such a comment which shatters women confidence, and she started feeling like an idiot. Men usually pass on comments like:

Why can’t you dress like her?

She speaks out so confidently, why can’t you talk like her?

You need to learn more about styling

Such comments are very upsetting. Is your man has started comparing you with other girls? If yes! Then the situation is getting out of your hands, and you need to be extra concerned about it.

Takes long time to reply to your text

If you have started noticing the delay in response to your text messages, then tie up your laces to face the reality. Once or twice it is fine, but if he is becoming habitual of not replying you in time, then your relationship is at high risk. This change is one of the most prominent ones.

Becoming incredibly selfish

If your man starts losing interest in you, his attitude changes, and he stops giving any importance to you. You are no more going to be his priority. He becomes very selfish and self-centered. He is more concerned about his work, his friends, and his interests.

He does not comfort you

A true man who deeply loves you will never leave during your hard times. He will always stand by your side to support you and to comfort you in every possible way.

If you start noticing certain changes in the way he used to take care of you and if the graph of the comfort level he used to provide you has begun to decline then you need worry about the relationship you are entering into.

He gets angry and irritated without any reason

There is always a reason behind anyone’s anger. If your man is getting irritated without any reason, then try to discuss and point it out to him. If he denies and such sort of attitude continues to persist, you need to give a serious thought to it.

 

 


4 Intuitive Ways to Help You Move On After a Breakup

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Breakups are messy and painful, even if you want to end the relationship. They are upsetting for both persons in a relationship, whereas most people say breakup are harder for the one who got dumped. That’s not true as the person who ended the relationship has seriously hurt the feelings of someone else. It’s common sense; we have to move on after a breakup just like everything else in life. Most people say to move on from a breakup; you should begin a new relationship. Well, that’s counterintuitive and doesn’t help most people.

So, whether you wanted this relationship to end or simply lost interest in it, here are four simple and effective ways you can follow to help you move on.

Take a break from your Exes-friends

One of the counterintuitive things most people do after a break up is spending time with people who are friends of your ex-partner. It may be tempting, but it’s going to hurt you when someone from the group shares about the details your ex is doing lately. This will not help you move on. So, take a few months hiatus from your friends and this will make your life simpler and stress-free.

Focus on your profession

When you’re in a warm and stable relationship, usually you aren’t very focused on meeting a deadline, finding a new job, or get a promotion, or learning anything to enhance your professional skills. Now, you have newly single again; you can now channel all your positive energy into something that will improve your life. Think about what do to make your happier professionally and write instructions how to achieve it and follow it to take your career to the next level.

Reunite with a family member or an old friend

Breakups are awful, and you can feel upset and lost after the event. Things get more upsetting when you realize that your ex-lover has also become your best friend, even if the relationship was already halfway through. Now, that you can’t rely on care and support from your ex, non-romantic relationships can help you significantly to move on and appreciate the little things in life. Consider reaching out to all the friends and call one of them just to say “hello.” Also, don’t forget to call your family members too. Being connected to someone who cares about will help not to feel lonely and reestablish the bonds long lost over the years.

Work on a momentous home project

Take on a momentous project you could do at your home that will help you move on and start your life afresh. After breaking up, consider changing the look of your home. Begin by painting some walls, rearrange all your furniture or books, or plant some new flowers. If you didn’t organize your closet for a while, now it’s the perfect time to do it. Dig through your closets and get rid of all the clothes and other stuff you haven’t worn or used for a while. Plant some new plants and make space for a table and some chairs, if you have a garden. The main purpose here is to seek a fresh beginning emotionally by making a fresh start in your physical surroundings.

Breakups are painful, and none of the above advice suggests you move on and begin a new relationship. Rather this will help you focus on other parts of your life and restoring balance which is the key to healing and moving on at the demise of a relationship.


Why Rejection Isn’t Always Your Fault

egg-583163_960_720When you are in a relationship, there is always a possibility that the relationship can end at any point. If that happens, your feelings get crushed, a sense of despair and disbelief sets in, and many questions keep popping up in your mind like, “why did this happen?” or “Is it because of me?” The same thing can happen with the person you like to have a relationship but he/she isn’t interested in you. It can happen to anyone, and if that happens, the rejection can be devastating at an emotional level. If remained unchecked, it can create barriers that will make it harder for you to find lasting happiness and true love in the future.

So, when you find someone attractive and start a relationship, and it ends abruptly, it’s necessary to develop a positive perspective about what has just occurred, instead of blaming yourself for it. Here are three scenarios that can help you to cope:

Sticks to the Facts

Instead of coming up with self-deprecating opinions such as, “I am not worthy of love,” or “Nobody likes me ‘coz I am not pretty,” or “I will never find love again,” try to understand the facts why this relationship has ended. These self-condemnation type messages are not only untrue; they can also be very distressful to you, even worse than the pain of ending the relationship with the person you once loved. In fact, if you are more upset about yourself than the person you broke up with, then perhaps it’s time that to seek help from a therapist so that you can redeem your self-esteem and gain a positive perception of love.

Accept the Fact That Your Relationship Has Ran Its Course

When a breakup happens, it just happened because there wasn’t any love in it. There is no reason to conclude that the relationship ended because there was something wrong with you or your partner, or you both lacked commitment in the relationship. This usually happens at the early stages of a relationship, and it’s better to discover it while you are still getting to know each other before you take a big decision like being in a long-term relationship or even worse getting married. So we advise that couples shouldn’t commit themselves to a long-term relationship within a few weeks of falling in love, as the infatuation may dissipate quickly.

Breakups Happen Due to Mismatch of Expectations

Typically, relationships end because one partner has found that something isn’t in sync with his or her expectations about the future with the other partner. All of us have dreams and expectations, and we want to realize them when we embark in a long term relationship and sometimes things always don’t work out in the end. When that takes place, it doesn’t mean you are inadequate or lack something; it only means that you and your partner don’t have the right ingredients for a lasting relationship.

So, now you know that when someone decides to end a relationship or don’t want to have one with you, in the beginning, don’t get hurt as this isn’t all about you.


How To Find Success While Handling A Complicated Relationship?

Relationships become difficult for so many reasons. There can be issues like trust, commitment, long distance or even abusive. The situation uses to worsen day by day and people just do not know how to figure out the problems and lead a happy and fruitful life.

Most people believe that if the relationship is not working out well, then it is better to be separated. However, sometimes our heart doesn’t seem to accept this. Why is this so? This is because the love and care we hold for that person are unconditional and blind. We do not realize that the person we truly love does not deserve our love. Moreover, sometimes we stay in the hope of getting things better someday.

Handling a complicated relationship and finding success in it

Complications need to be worked out. It is not necessary that complications must lead you to the failure, it can be sorted out, and the relationships are saved for good. Here are a few tips to help you work out your complications:

Finding out the main cause

The foremost step while handling a complicated relationship is to find out what is the cause of all the difficulties. Where does the central problem lie? Is it the trust or the commitment issues that are creating problems or is it being abusive? Figuring out and then solving the problems is the first step for a healthy long term relationship.

Open your communication

Mostly challenges and complications occur and prolonged due to the lack of communication. If anything is disturbing you, be open to talking to your partner rather than piling it inside which will build up only misunderstandings between you and your partner. Discussing, giving each other your pieces of mind and clearing things up forms the basis of a healthy relationship.

Make your unhappiness known to your partner

Sometimes you may think that your relationship is not working out properly and that you are unhappy, but your partner does not feel the same. According to him, everything is going just smooth and fine. In such a situation you need to talk to your partner and say your heart out. Tell him what makes you feel bad. Fix what you think is not going well to live a joyful and healthy life.

Get help from your support system

When life seems full of complications, then definitely you need someone with whom you can share your problems. Give them a true picture of what is going on in your life. They can suggest ways overcome difficulties in your life. They can even support and give you the courage to talk to your partner about everything that is upsetting you to clear all the matters for a flourishing life.

Get rid of the obstacles that are complicating your relationship

Are the long, tough working hours and tight schedules are setting you two apart? Well, there is a need to discuss this matter. No need to leave your jobs, but at least you two can sit and spend a quality time together.

Relationships are tricky, and sometimes they end up being a complete mess. Little efforts can help you survive your complicated relationships and make them successful.

 

 


Three Ways on How to Cope from Rejection

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Anyone who has been dating is bound to come across the word rejection. Rejection can come if you see your online messages aren’t being answered, or while on a first date the another person hasn’t returned your calls, or you got dumped the moment you were just started going out, all rejections have one thing in common — they hurt real bad. What’s more upsetting about rejections is – our inability to understand what went wrong, which might easily lead us to self-criticism. All this self-inflicted punishment makes us feel utterly miserable and can lose confidence, desperate and emotionally weak.

However, there is a way to rebound from rejection, find your happiness back, move on and return to the dating world. Below are three steps to help you cope with the emotional pain inflicted after being rejected:

Stop Self-Criticism

Although it’s understandable to self-criticize after a rejection, there is a little benefit in that. Most rejections have nothing particular to do with any personal flaws or shortcomings. Instead, they have much to do with chemistry and compatibility. You might think the other person is interested in you, but in reality, he or she isn’t interested enough. And if they felt compatible with you, it’s very likely you too will feel it at some point. Thus, stop blaming yourself or think that you have some perceived flaws after being rejected.

Reinvigorate Your Self-Esteem

Now that you have spared yourself from the evil clutches of self-criticism, it’s time to revive your self-esteem. And the right way to do that is to remind you again and again about your qualities and attributes you possess which you believe makes you great. Make a list of qualities you have and think are invaluable for dating and maintain a relationship. Say you are loyal, caring, lovable, supportive, passionate, considerate, a good cook, a great listener, a good kisser, and so on.

Now, choose anyone of those attributes and write a short essay, and explain why this quality is important to you, why your future spouse will find it indispensable, how this has helped you with dating and being in relationships before, and so on. Try to write one or two brief paragraphs until you start to feel better about yourself. Remember that this exercise will have a positive impact on your self-esteem, only if you write.

Regain Your Sense of Belonging

The reason why rejection has sharp emotional pain is that we feel to lose our sense of belonging. We, humans always wanted to be “loved” and “need to belong” to someone or a group, it is this sense of we have become every sensitive to rejection. So, to regain your sense of belonging, reach out to your friends and family members for support if you happen to be a victim of rejection.

Rejections are very common forms emotional pain that unfortunately doesn’t go away soon. However, by taking these three steps will make your healing process easier, boost up your confidence, and get you back on the dating scene again stronger than ever.


How to End a Relationship in Your 30’s

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When you are in your 30s, you begin to realize your expectations about dating had changed when you were in your 20s. During this time, you’ve been in many relationships, probably some serious ones too, and now you know what you and don’t want in a partnership. Relationships can end for many reasons, and breakups in your 30s can be quite distressful than in your 20s, given that you were more committed to that relationship.

But there is a way to do it without inflicting too much pain on either side and also end a loveless relationship with honesty, care and your honor intact.

Be Honest About the Issue

Breakup just doesn’t happen all of a sudden. Breakups occur because you and your partner might be arguing or fighting more than getting along or knowing each other, or there are problems with your job or finances, addictions or just not trusting or respecting each other.
You’re in your 30s, and you realize that you don’t have the time and effort to invest in this relationship hoping things would get better.

Find Out Who Is Responsible

Being in a relationship in your 30s is much realistic and intertwined than in your 20s. If you guys are living together, figure out who will be moving out, who will take custody of the pets (if you have any), or who will be paying off the debts, or any outstanding obligations like rent, car insurance, upcoming vacations and so on. You have to settle these issues as you, and your significant other won’t like to deal with it after the breakup.

Do It for Your Best Interest

Breakups are difficult to cope with as they leave lasting pain and emotional scars in you and your partners’ lives. So, try to control your emotions and don’t let your anger and bitterness take over, at least, not to the extent of damaging bonds you have created while you were in the relationship. We won’t deny it takes courage and emotional maturity to have these conversations, but most couples just end the relationship because they don’t even try to do something about, which they regret later.

Take Some Time to Grieve

Breakups are agonizing and difficult to cope, but you will get over a breakup. So, take some time to grieve, focus on yourself and contemplate about the situation. Don’t hesitate to experience anger, sadness, regret about the loss of your partner, and the fear that you won’t find love again. However, don’t exert too much pressure on yourself as it will delay the healing process. Instead, try to figure out what attracted you to start a relationship with this person, why the relationship failed and what part did you play that lead to it. It will help you move forward and start a new relationship.

Take accountability For Your Decisions

Be accountable for your part about why this relationship didn’t meet your expectations. It is important because if you aren’t honest about it, you will end another relationship and blame the other person for it. The grieving process after the breakup is a major step in rebuilding your life, maintaining the best qualities of yourself and using it to search a new person to start a new relationship.


7 Things You Should Avoid After A Breakup

images (1)Breakup – the most unwanted word for any individuals. Sometimes, there is no way you can avoid it. So, it’s better to know how you can deal with it. There are effective ways to deal with your grief that works perfectly and few other things can trigger your sorrow and postpone healing. Never lose heart; time will shallow all of your bitterness from life. You just need to move on, and there will be someone who will respect your feelings and emotions. All of this will be a memory someday.

In this transition period, while dip into sadness, be sure you avoid these DON’T’s. Otherwise, you can end up harming you more.

1) Pretend you’re fine

Let your pain burn you. Cry or punch the pillow, throw away the journal or whatever reliefs you. Spend more time with your friends who care your emotions. You might want to show others that it’s not a matter for you while it is breaking you apart from inside. Be honest with yourself. It’s completely fine to be hurt, angry or humiliated. It’s not always obviously that you are guilty of a punishment.

2) Attached to ex as “Just Friend”

It’s very rare where a breakup lead to a solid friendship unless you’re comfortable when your ex dating someone else or vice versa. If the answer is no; you are not ready to be friend with your ex.
Very rarely can a breakup turned into a solid friendship. If you’re not comfortable with the idea when your ex dating with someone else and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals. So, keep distance and stand your ground if ex pushing for a friendship.

3) Revenge? Not a solution

Revenge is not an ultimate solution and only lead to bitterness and hatred. Don’t destroy his stuff, kidnap mutual pet or anything that could lead you to any legal trouble. The best thing is to forgive and leave. Spend your valuable energy on individual who deserves it.

4) Continue Communication

However, you broke up in few days, you still want to share thoughts with your ex by calling and texting. You come across any incident that makes you laugh and the first thing you did was texting him/her. Don’t do it now.

But in some cases, it might essential to contact to return any stuff. Make it short and to the point and avoid any conversation that you used to convey in the relationship.

5) Beg for Settlement

Don’t beg him to return. Think deeply, you never wanted a relationship in which you need to beg someone to stay with you. The extra risk is, if your ex rejects you again, it will not just hurts, it will let you even down with more regret and humiliation.

6) Share bed

Never let it happen. Even on her deathbed, no woman will never wish to sleep with her ex-husband for one last time. Be logical and make it clean when you break up.

7) Give up

Don’t let a breakup bogged down you and lose your hope. She or He wasn’t the one and Love is not the experience that comes single time in life. There must be someone who really cares about you and your feelings. Take your time to find out what makes you happy. That could be any social work, spending time with children, any art that you really love. Reading motivational books can also help. Most of all, be confident and believe in you.

It’s very important that you learn from the belated relationship and move forward. Don’t lose hope finding the right match for you and be thankful that you are now free from a bad relationship.


Signs Your Lover Is Messing With Your Mind

Have you ever been head over heels in love with someone? You are simply crazy about this one guy that everything seems so perfect about him. Wake up girls!!! This is not the case each time. You need to look into the relationship very sensibly and maturely. There might be certain red flags which you must be ignoring or may be having no idea until it ultimately makes you go insane.

Getting confuse already? No need to get confused and just read out the following checkpoints to assess your guy’ behavior:

Mixed Messages

One of the ways that guys used to mess around with your head is by sending confused messages. The words do not clearly say whether he loves you or not. It simply shows that he is just playing around and messing up your mind.

It could also be a sign that it might be possible he does not love you as much as you do. Talk to him about this and make yourself clear before it gets too late.

They question your decision

Does your guy question you each time regarding your decisions and make you feel incapable of it? Does he make you frustrated by asking each time to give the explanation about your choice?  Such kind of situations may make you feel like questioning your abilities and eventually doubt your accomplishments.

You have started questioning your perceptions

If your guy twists things around so much that you become confused, then you need to be extra careful about it. If for example, you have a plan for going out with your friend and he openly disapproves it by saying that this friend of yours is not what you think about her. Such disapprovals make you start thinking about it over and over again until you start believing it yourself.

Your guy ignores you

This is another sign that if your guy ignores you for hours and instantly comes back when he needs you, and then he is messing up with your head. Such a guy should be ignored back right away. This, in turn, drives him crazy and his messes up with his head.

Flirting around

Some guys start flirting with your best friend or maybe other friends of your group then this is not a good sign. If you see that he is flirting around with your friends in front of you then he can flirt around with any other in your absence; you deserve a better one!!

You have started to give up expressing yourself

If there comes a time, you feel like that there is no point of expressing yourself. You will only be ridiculed, humiliated or be upset after that then this is the time you need to think about your relationship. How can a relationship last without any communication and expressing yourself? Your guy has messed up your mind, and you need help.

You have started to believe that you are the crazy one

Your man manipulates you in such a way that you start believing his words that you are the insane one. You start thinking that there is something wrong with you which make your life even more miserable.

Bottom Line

Everyone has the right to express thoughts without being ridiculed, questioned and disrespected. No one deserves to be treated in a manner that they lose their sense of reality.