Category Archives: Breakups

Relationship Uncertainty and How to Move On?

Uncertainty about a relationship is something that makes you confused that where your relationship is going? You are yourself confused about what you want from the person you are with. Either you want him/her to be your life partner or you just want a casual companionship.

Relationship uncertainty and its dangers

At the start of the relationship, you cannot expect certainty as you are getting to know the person you are dating, considering what you feel and trying to understand the whole process.

But if uncertainty continues to prolong in the relationship then it is something to worry about. When you both are holding it back and making no efforts to push your relationship any further and if you develop this thinking that it is better than nothing and there is nothing to lose then my dear you need to know that there is a lot to lose which you are unaware of. Here are some reasons that why is it dangerous to stay in a relationship which is not certain:

Uncertainty can blow up your self-esteem

Uncertainty may lead you to the point where it starts messing up with your mind. You start blaming and feel sorry for yourself. Do I deserve all this? Why can’t I have a stable relationship? Such questions begin to haunt you and will destroy your self-esteem unless you become clear about your relationship. You will start believing that this is how much you can receive as love, and you start to accept whatever is tossed your way.

Accountability is zero

If your status as a couple is with no defined roles and limitations, then it becomes convenient for both of you to overlook or reject the accountability for the other’s well-being. With no set rules, neither of you is going to take the responsibility of the security and the happiness of the relationship.

Realizing that we do not love the person

When all the chase and drama ends, you find out that you might not like this person. When the uncertainty prolongs so does the chase and thus we waste maximum of our time which should have been spent in searching for true love.

Chances of meeting your Mr. or Miss Right reduce

Although you are facing numerous uncertainties in your relationship, still you will never even think about going out with somebody else. It is against your principles. You are in the hope that everything is going to be okay. In doing so, you lose the opportunity to find yourself an eligible partner. Imagine losing someone who adores you the most and one day you will regret refusing to his proposal in keeping your uncertain relationship which will end eventually.

Chronic Stress

Uncertainties in a relationship make us feel unhappy, lonely and tired. You may enjoy the company of each other, but prolonged uncertainties which are not addressed may cause conflict. The fact that he is not making the first move in proposing you will keep you up all night. Thus uncertainty in the relationship makes you emotionally stressed and unstable.

Hence, as the time passes, it is better to sit and discuss your relationship rather than prolonging uncertainty which will leave you with nothing in the end.


It Is Okay If You’re Apparently Dating All Wrong

Dating can be a terrifying for some people, particularly to those who have started dating after a breakup or a divorce. They have little idea what they’re doing or can’t remember the conversation they have with the new person. Sometimes the date ends up in a disaster, or both of them get passed by it.

We don’t like to be slaves to “rules”, and even the most comforting one among us will try to resist giving in to these rules while dating.

The allure of dating rules, (some call them principles), is that they give you confidence that if you have enough skills, you can easily navigate to the next relationship. Some people even go to extra lengths if they follow all the advice. They won’t get heartbroken again. Good luck with that!

It’s common to hear people who are going through a breakup and upset about it saying they’ll not repeat the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, it’s easier to say than doing it.Many individuals are in a quest to find the perfect partner, create chemistry, maintaining momentum in the relationship. And they get so overwhelmed with tips and advice on what to do and what not to do that they only blow it all away.

At every dating process, you keep thinking about questions like, “Did I respond to that text message or email too quickly? Was I late in asking her out for dinner? Did I mention to make our relationship exclusive too soon? Most of these things can go wild once you’re really in a relationship. It doesn’t matter what most relationship experts tell and suggest to do, to have a great date. A lot of people will get confused by how much there is to think about it.

The fact is there isn’t a “flawless” or “right” way to find and nurture love; we all are giving out best. Thinking like this takes a lot of burden out of our minds, and subsequently, it proves that we are after all humans and stumble like everyone else. Moreover, you find a lot of people who have found love in places and time that they least expected it. Just ask any of your favorite couples how they met for the first time and got into an exclusive relationship. You’ll be surprised to hear that they had a ton of missed connections, upsetting breakups, poor communication, bad timing, awful intentions, heartbreaking separations, infidelity, emotional breakdown, jealousy, bad kissing and so forth. All these unprecedented events eventually made them better and landed them into a cozy and committed relationship.

Overall, this is a good context to bear in mind whenever you’re fidgeting over you replied to that email too soon or whether if you showed too much or too little interest in your date. Instead, of asking yourself if you did anything wrong or right while dating, ask yourself if you did anything that was “real and authentic”. Did your actions reflect your true intentions and motivations? Do you genuinely want to be treated the same you treated others? Remain true and honest to these rules, and there’s no chance you’ll make any mistakes, and lose your way in finding the perfect partner.


Breakup To Makeup: Ways To Give Love A Second Chance

Well, sometimes break up happens which we do not want. After parting away from our significant one, we feel worse and start to regret after some time. Then after a few months, we realize that break up is not the right solution, and we want to reunite. It happens. But from the break up to make up, is it that easy?

Second chance is never an easier one. Couples may not let go of the things that happened in the past, and consequently, it leads to another breakup.

Getting back with your ex is a tough decision. You have to set a lot of things back together. But if you feel like you should take a step forward towards your ex and give it a try again then go for it. But to make it perfect this time, you need to follow a few tips to get back together for better this time.

Talk about your problems

Obviously, there must be issues that led you two apart. Sit together and sort each and every issue openly. No need to hide or set things aside. Clear everything up and then take a fresh start together.

Set Boundaries

As you are starting it all over again, define your rules and set limits. What is okay and what is not okay. Agree to the things that are important to both of you. Setting boundaries will be helpful in avoiding the previous mistakes and make your relationship much happier.

Have a better communication

Having a good communication will never let any relationship to break apart. Your break up may have happened because of a very little problem which could have been easily resolved by communicating with each other. So, this time improve your communication level and discuss everything before making up stories all by yourself which promotes conflicts.

Discuss the future

If you both have finally decided to get back together, then first thing is to discuss your future. Talk to each other openly and if you see that you two can make a perfect future together then making the relationship is worthwhile. But if there come the differences then I guess making up is not a good idea.

Assess your true feelings

Before moving on back together, you need to assess your feelings. Do you love your partner? Or is it just that you were so used to them and now you get bored when you do not find them around you.

So, if you cannot reciprocate the same feelings that they possess for you or if you do not feel the same way that things used to be then it is better to continue with the break up permanently.

Make necessary changes in the relationship

Obviously, there has been something wrong previously that led you to the breakup. So you have to make the changes to make things work out positively in future.

Well, if you think that your relationship deserves a second chance then give it a try with the help of these tips try to work it out to be a better one this time.


Signs You Are Wasting Time In A One-Sided Relationship

Love is beautiful. But the question is that “is it working out for you?” Are you happy with it? Well, love can be built over time, or it might degrade you. It can become complicated for you to accept that your partner is getting out of your hands and there is nothing that you can do about it. On the other hand finding someone who will love you for the rest of your life is not easy, and maybe that is why we continue to stay in a terrible relationship. This is what I believe isn’t fair with you as well as with your partner.

One day this one-sided relationship is going to turn off so what are you waiting for? To avoid pain, it is better to accept the reality and face the truth at the earliest rather than later. Check out the following points and consider your partner as well as yourself while going through these characteristics:

Your partner is comfortable with the routine

If you suggest changing something that happens on a daily basis, your partner protests about it; like you ask for the dinner out, and they grunt about it. They never allow room for change.

Your relationship is stale

After reading out the first one, you have reached the point in your relationship where everything is stale. It is YOU who always has to make out plans, and if they agree to it, they would not be available for the occasion. Moreover, you have to plan out even for romance.

They put minimal effort when it comes to social situations

If you both are invited at a place, your partner may join you but will keep themselves away from the people important to you. They will most likely stay quiet or will just reply if addressed otherwise they will never make any effort to spark the conversation.

They will keep you away from their important people

Your partner has some important family members and friends, but they keep you away from them, then this is a red flag. If he loved you, he would never mind if you meet with his friends and family, and if they are doing so, then something is wrong which you need to be worried about.

Your partner takes you for granted

Small cute loving gestures keep your love life moving. But even these go unnoticed then it hurts very badly. Suppose you never want to bring your partner's favorite food home back from work just to listen to a monotone “thanks.”

One sided openness

Maybe it is just you who talks about your day, your commitments, late projects, any family updates or friend drama. Perhaps you are the one who is open to discussing the issues and concerns related to your relationship. Does your partner play any role in it?

When do you feel the best?

This is a very serious question which you need to ask yourself. Do you feel better when your partner is with you? Or do you feel good and comfortable when your partner is not around?

Undoubtedly, a one-sided relationship may leave you depressed and dejected, but it can pave you a path to find the love of your life.


4 Ways Low Self-Esteem Can Ruin a Relationship

If you’ve low self-esteem, probably you think that you'll suck at dating. If you’re feeling stressed and insecure, your low self-esteem will prevent you from having a lasting relationship or make it harder for you to find a perfect date. See if any of the behaviors resonate with your and if they do, then it's a sign that you've low self-esteem.

You Have Needy or Clingy Behavior

Everyone gets turned off by neediness. While dating, men and women mainly look for a romantic partner to have a relationship. They aren’t looking for someone to take care of them as if they’re like abandoned children or a psychotherapy patient. People want to date someone who will compliment them, make their life whole, and not a person that will drain their energy. If you think you’ve the habit to get needy or clingy, consider making a few friends so that it won’t consume the person you’re dating. Ask your friends or coworkers to join you for dinner, go to a party or just do some fun activity together and so on.

You Feel Jealous

It’s not surprising to know that jealousy and low self-esteem goes hand in hand. We all feel insecure time to time. If you think that you aren’t good enough for him or her, or someone will snatch away your significant other from, then it’s an indication of low self-esteem as well as jealousy. If your jealousy is out of control, it can wreck havoc on your relationship. To get rid of jealous steak, first, admit that you’ve a jealousy problem. Talk to your friends that you’re trying to become less jealous, or chant a single liner yourself to distract you whenever you become jealous.

You’re Afraid That Your Date Isn't Attracted to You – Sexually

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, then there’s a possibility that you always fear that your partner is or doesn’t want to be intimate with you. The keep thinking about this because you feel that you aren’t sexually attractive to him or her. These fears that stem poor self-esteem issues can ruin a loving relationship quickly. Remind yourself that your partner could abandon this relationship at any time, but he or she is still with you. You don’t have to be the perfect mate for him or her. And if there’s any performance issue in the bedroom, consult with a professional.

You Need Your Partner for Constant Reassurance

Healthy individuals are looking for a partner that will complement them, while unhealthy persons are looking for a partner that will take care of them. They want their significant others to be their parents. Why? Because, they didn’t receive enough care, love and attention from their parents or siblings, while they were young. These adults feel incredibly insecure, and they’re always waiting for someone that will give them the love and attention they didn’t get while growing up. These individuals hate to be alone and need assurance and validation of others to feel good about themselves. It’s an indication of poor self-esteem, and they need to work on improving their confidence level, body images and get motivated.

We all struggle with insecurity, low self esteem and emotional issues more or less, but for most, it’s not that big of an issue. But, if you consistently feel bad about yourself, be careful while engaging in a romantic relationship. If you don’t improve your self-esteem, then you might jeopardize your relationship.


Emotional Baggage Can Threaten Your Relationship

Most of us have dated someone with a lot of emotional baggage, and most of them didn’t have a happy ending. Unfortunately, it’s hard to figure out if your partner has too much baggage until you’ve been in a relationship with that person for some time. Only if you can spot whether he or she has emotional baggage sooner, you could stop dating that person. Moreover, you should not get in the relationship in the first place.

Here are some most common types of emotional baggage and how you can spot it.

1. Serious problems within the Family

It doesn’t matter whether your date is 20 or 50, if he or she comes from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that they too will have emotional problems. Even if your date personally doesn't have any personal or emotional issues or their parents or siblings had it, it can cause significant emotional stress on their lives.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is outraged towards a parent or parents, siblings or other family members whenever they get together for family reunions, dinners or parties. You will find that he or she has a parent or a sibling who is an alcoholic or addict and it’s creating a lot of problems in the family. You will discover that he or she was abused verbally, physically and emotionally by one or both parents.

2. Depression

Most of us associate depression that affects women. But, severe forms of depression have been diagnosed in both men and women. So, if a person has some baggage, it’s very likely he or she is severely depressed and need medical attention.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is always moody; don’t like to socialize or talk to others; and little confidence and self-esteem. People with depression aren’t interested in activities which can make them happy, are pessimistic about what the future hold for them. They complain all the time and can get angry or irritated very easily. He or she always starts arguments and cries for no particular reason. However, it’s important to know men and women express their emotional outburst differently.

3. The Ex-Factor

If you start dating someone, who recently broke up with his or her partner, you ask yourself questions like, If he still in love with his ex? Does she still contact her ex? If you feel uncomfortable dating someone who has been in a serious relationship in the past, then end it right there. And for those who have just been out of a relationship, wait for at least six months or more before you fully get over your ex, before you start a new relationship. This way you won’t carry the baggage of your old relationship to the new one.

How You Can Spot It

He or she mentions their former lovers at least once a week during the first few weeks of dating. He or she still keeps pictures of their ex; he says his ex’s name while talking to his friends; he or she always compares you with their ex.

The bottom line is, we all have some emotional baggage the moment we reach adulthood. The advice to remember is that we should be able to control our baggage so that it doesn’t harm our relationships in any way or form.


6 Tips on How to Be Happy After a Breakup

No one told getting over a breakup is easy, but if you know the right coping strategies in the first few weeks, you can make it a lot less painful. Here, I have highlighted the behaviors that have proven to be successful is helping a person get over a breakup and move on with their lives and get their happiness back.

1. Hangout With Your Most Fun Friend

You probably know which friend of yours is the funniest. If not, then figure out which person in your friends' circle is the funniest or makes you laugh. Now, that you have found him/her spend more time with that person. Individuals who are funny lift us when we’re feeling depressed. So, make preparations to get together as much as possible and have fun.

2. Arrange a Small Party at Your Home

We won’t tell you to party the next day; you broke up. But if it has been a week or more, it’s time for you to socialize again. Arrange a dinner party, sports party, or a movie night at your place and invite all of your close friends to join you. Nothing heals a broken heart by spending some quality time with close pals.

3. Go For A Road Trip or A Vacation

If you want to feel motivated and happy, you must look forward to doing something. It’s okay if you want to lay low for some time, but if you want to mend your broken heart, plan a road trip or a vacation for 2-3 days. It will take your mind off all the negative thoughts and instill hope in yourself.

4. Get Engaged In Physically Exhilarating Activities

No, I am not telling you to join a gym and pump iron. This one is completely different. After a breakup, most of us suffer from two things – low energy and bad mood. Getting active in physically challenging activities will boost both your mind and energy. Don’t be lazy and try to do at least one exciting activity per week. You don’t have to go to the gym, try activities that will excite you and make you happy. So, ask a friend and ride a roller coaster or go dancing at the club.

5. Attend A Workshop or A Class

If you want to keep your mind of your recent breakup, consider taking a class or attending a workshop at your local school or community college. It will be a rewarding experience for you. Try something that’s new and fun like pottery, cooking classes, guitar lessons and so forth. It’s a great way to distract your mind from the saddening experience of your breakup and being focused on your daily life.

6. Take On a New Challenge

Instead of drowning in sadness and hopelessness after a breakup, focuses on yourself, give yourself a new challenge and do something productive. If you have gained some weight, lose it; didn’t get that promotion, get it; update your old resume and find a new job; don’t like the paint on your wall, repaint it; and so on. These challenges are helpful, and they force you to get your life back on track and envisage a new beginning.

Overall, all of these tasks will no doubt improve your mood and distract your mind from the anger and sadness after the end of your relationship.


Why You Should Not Date Attention Seekers

There is nothing wrong to get a little attention, but some people take it to a whole new level. Attention seekers make bad partners; they can be frustrating to deal with, and they argue regularly and break up all of a sudden. So, how can you spot an attention seeking person in the dating world?

Here are some common signs of an attention seeker:

Attention seeking people tend to be loud. They like to be the life of the party. They make unclassy jokes, act obnoxious, say things that can be cute or provocative.

Attention seekers often tend to be flirtatious and seductive. They make direct eye contact with other people, touches people in appropriate ways, dresses in ways to grab attention. They prefer being overly sexualized.

Attention seeking men and women are argument starters. They start an argument or get involved in debates and dominate the conversation, just to get everyone's attention and focus on them. This is a major turn off to their partners making them annoyed and frustrated.

So, why it's better if you stay away from dating attention seekers?

1. They often dominate discussions. Attention seekers are motivated by getting attention and are addicted to it. At social gatherings, they are ones who talks most from the rest. They love hearing themselves talk and even better if people focus on them. What is annoying for their partners is they think their partners are taking the spotlight from and pushing them in the shadows. Their partners don't get the chance to express themselves and interact with others in mutually conforming manner.

2. They deny that they crave for attention. It is said to be one of the most frustrating traits of attention seekers. If you happen to date an attention seeker, you probably by now found that your attention seeking partner will deny that he or she wants attention desperately from others. Instead, they will tell you that they get attention because they deserve it and people give it to them. That is straightforward narcissism.

3. Getting attention is more important to attention seekers than relationships. Attention seekers love to seduce people to like them, and they work hard to get others to like them. If you're dating someone who craves attention, who will notice how he or she use the tactics and tricks to flirt, seek attention and start arguments. That's why jealousy is a big issue while being in a relationship with attention seekers. They are so obsessed with getting attention from others that they totally neglect your feelings.

4. Only getting attention from you won't satisfy them. It is a crucial point to remember regarding having a relationship with an attention seeking individual. Regardless, how perfect you are, how sexy, smart, interesting, funny you happen to be – your partner won't be satisfied and will seek validation from others. No matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough for your attention-seeking partner. It's not that you're less desirable and appealing than others, it's their personality to seek attention from others that make them alive deep inside.

The bottom line is seeking attention functions like a drug to attention seekers. They will do anything to get validation and praise from other people. Unless you have unfathomable self-esteem, it's better for you to avoid engaging with an attention seeker if you want to have a loving and committed relationship.


Ways To Learn To Trust Men Again After Being Betrayed

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But once it is broken, either by your boyfriend or husband then it's hard to gather the guts to trust anyone again. Learning to trust again after a distressing betrayal seems like almost impossible, however by accepting the past and building up a new belief about men will make you bring your life back on track.

So, stop being a man hater and try to adopt the following ways to learn to trust men again.

Stop Blaming Yourself

Come on lady; you haven’t done anything wrong nor did you say something bad, it is just that you have placed your trust in someone who was not worth it. It was a bad experience. Do learn from it but do not stop living because of it. And moreover a person who betrayed you don’t possess good moral values, and of course, you would never like to keep such a person in your life, would you?

Feel your feelings

Do not suppress your feelings. Do not keep your anger, sadness, grief or loss inside. It is important to feel these feelings and let them go in a healthy way otherwise; it will keep on killing you from inside which definitely you do not deserve.

Write it out

It is one of the best ways to just write out about how you feel right now and how you felt with the partner who betrayed you. Then write down the positive facts about the people around you on whom you can trust. Then you can make a list of positive things that you want to your potential partner. By doing all, it will make you change your perspectives about relationships and will also be helpful in narrowing down the relationship prospects.

Surround yourself with the people you trust

Look around you. You may find individuals who are loyal to their partners. Surround yourself with the people you trust. Not everyone is the same. Just because if you chose a rotten egg in the past means that every chap on this planet Earth is the same.

Let go of your past

The past is over now, and you must have learned from it. Now it is the time to let go of all your anger, frustration, sadness, grieves. There are so much new exciting things that are waiting for you. So take a deep breath, move forward and tell yourself that everything is going to be alright.

 

Seek professional help

If even after trying, things do not seem to settle down then there is nothing wrong with looking into a professional help. Moreover, you feel like that you are set to attract bad men then the experts will help you finding a better one for yourself.

Trust yourself first

Be confident and trust yourself and your instinct first. You have not done anything bad, and it was not your fault. Come on lady! The right guy is waiting for you. If you do not trust your inner guidance, you will never be able to get out of your past. Do not waste your time to give more chances to the one who deserves you.

Dealing with betrayal is not easy at all. It takes time. But considering these pointers will be quite helpful in leaving your past behind and attract a better man in your life.


Love Triangles And Their Confusing Complications

Undoubtedly love triangles are complicated affairs. Have you fallen for a person who is already in love with somebody else? Or are you falling for another person when you already are in love with someone else at the same time? Well, this is what we call a perfect love triangle.

So what should you do now? How to stick to one and leave the other? How to make one stay and get the other one out of your mind and life?

A love triangle is a complicated scenario where more than two people are involved. When love is shared mutually between two people, then it is simple and easy, but when the third person gets into the picture, everything topples upside down. In comes the frustration along with intense bitterness.

Types of Love Triangle

There are two primary types of a love triangle:

  • The first one is the one for whom two people strive for achieving affection of one person.
  • The second one is the one to whom you are attracted and falling at the same time while you are already in love with someone.

How would you find out that it’s a love triangle?

If you have a perfect relationship with your partner and a friend tells you that he/she is in love with you then that does not make a love triangle. It is just a crush. Similarly, if you start having the crush on a person who is already in a relationship, then this again is a mere crush.

A love triangle begins when there comes reciprocation. If you are already in a relationship and start showing interest in another person who reciprocates your interest and love, then this is the point where the perfect love triangle recipe starts getting prepared.

It is only due to reciprocation that the motive is pursued. Moreover, love triangle never takes place due to only one person. Two people are involved in creating it where the third one is the main sufferer for no fault at all.

 Love triangles always affect relationships negatively

If you try to steal a person who is already in an unhappy relationship, then it is quite easy. But what if you try to steal an individual who is happy in his/her relationship? They will never be willing to leave their partner. You may be able to get hold of a few of the moments of love and happiness, but nothing more is going to come your way.

Love Triangles are painfully fun

The love triangle is fun for the third person and the cheating partner as it is risky and exciting. But for the partner, it is miserable as you detach yourself from them both emotionally and physically. But after some time when the fun starts to fade away with the third partner, and you start realizing that you still love your partner then it brings only pain.

Love triangles are selfish

If your partner does the same what you are doing to him/her, then what is going to be your reaction? What would you do if your partner behaves the same as you do or use the same flirty wordings that you do? Now if it bothers you, then this is very unfair, and you are acting selfishly.

So, if you are experiencing a love triangle, then it does not make you a bad person. It is something that is humanly possible to happen with anyone.