Category Archives: Breakups

Signs You Are Wasting Time In A One-Sided Relationship

Love is beautiful. But the question is that “is it working out for you?” Are you happy with it? Well, love can be built over time, or it might degrade you. It can become complicated for you to accept that your partner is getting out of your hands and there is nothing that you can do about it. On the other hand finding someone who will love you for the rest of your life is not easy, and maybe that is why we continue to stay in a terrible relationship. This is what I believe isn’t fair with you as well as with your partner.

One day this one-sided relationship is going to turn off so what are you waiting for? To avoid pain, it is better to accept the reality and face the truth at the earliest rather than later. Check out the following points and consider your partner as well as yourself while going through these characteristics:

Your partner is comfortable with the routine

If you suggest changing something that happens on a daily basis, your partner protests about it; like you ask for the dinner out, and they grunt about it. They never allow room for change.

Your relationship is stale

After reading out the first one, you have reached the point in your relationship where everything is stale. It is YOU who always has to make out plans, and if they agree to it, they would not be available for the occasion. Moreover, you have to plan out even for romance.

They put minimal effort when it comes to social situations

If you both are invited at a place, your partner may join you but will keep themselves away from the people important to you. They will most likely stay quiet or will just reply if addressed otherwise they will never make any effort to spark the conversation.

They will keep you away from their important people

Your partner has some important family members and friends, but they keep you away from them, then this is a red flag. If he loved you, he would never mind if you meet with his friends and family, and if they are doing so, then something is wrong which you need to be worried about.

Your partner takes you for granted

Small cute loving gestures keep your love life moving. But even these go unnoticed then it hurts very badly. Suppose you never want to bring your partner's favorite food home back from work just to listen to a monotone “thanks.”

One sided openness

Maybe it is just you who talks about your day, your commitments, late projects, any family updates or friend drama. Perhaps you are the one who is open to discussing the issues and concerns related to your relationship. Does your partner play any role in it?

When do you feel the best?

This is a very serious question which you need to ask yourself. Do you feel better when your partner is with you? Or do you feel good and comfortable when your partner is not around?

Undoubtedly, a one-sided relationship may leave you depressed and dejected, but it can pave you a path to find the love of your life.


4 Ways Low Self-Esteem Can Ruin a Relationship

If you’ve low self-esteem, probably you think that you'll suck at dating. If you’re feeling stressed and insecure, your low self-esteem will prevent you from having a lasting relationship or make it harder for you to find a perfect date. See if any of the behaviors resonate with your and if they do, then it's a sign that you've low self-esteem.

You Have Needy or Clingy Behavior

Everyone gets turned off by neediness. While dating, men and women mainly look for a romantic partner to have a relationship. They aren’t looking for someone to take care of them as if they’re like abandoned children or a psychotherapy patient. People want to date someone who will compliment them, make their life whole, and not a person that will drain their energy. If you think you’ve the habit to get needy or clingy, consider making a few friends so that it won’t consume the person you’re dating. Ask your friends or coworkers to join you for dinner, go to a party or just do some fun activity together and so on.

You Feel Jealous

It’s not surprising to know that jealousy and low self-esteem goes hand in hand. We all feel insecure time to time. If you think that you aren’t good enough for him or her, or someone will snatch away your significant other from, then it’s an indication of low self-esteem as well as jealousy. If your jealousy is out of control, it can wreck havoc on your relationship. To get rid of jealous steak, first, admit that you’ve a jealousy problem. Talk to your friends that you’re trying to become less jealous, or chant a single liner yourself to distract you whenever you become jealous.

You’re Afraid That Your Date Isn't Attracted to You – Sexually

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, then there’s a possibility that you always fear that your partner is or doesn’t want to be intimate with you. The keep thinking about this because you feel that you aren’t sexually attractive to him or her. These fears that stem poor self-esteem issues can ruin a loving relationship quickly. Remind yourself that your partner could abandon this relationship at any time, but he or she is still with you. You don’t have to be the perfect mate for him or her. And if there’s any performance issue in the bedroom, consult with a professional.

You Need Your Partner for Constant Reassurance

Healthy individuals are looking for a partner that will complement them, while unhealthy persons are looking for a partner that will take care of them. They want their significant others to be their parents. Why? Because, they didn’t receive enough care, love and attention from their parents or siblings, while they were young. These adults feel incredibly insecure, and they’re always waiting for someone that will give them the love and attention they didn’t get while growing up. These individuals hate to be alone and need assurance and validation of others to feel good about themselves. It’s an indication of poor self-esteem, and they need to work on improving their confidence level, body images and get motivated.

We all struggle with insecurity, low self esteem and emotional issues more or less, but for most, it’s not that big of an issue. But, if you consistently feel bad about yourself, be careful while engaging in a romantic relationship. If you don’t improve your self-esteem, then you might jeopardize your relationship.


Emotional Baggage Can Threaten Your Relationship

Most of us have dated someone with a lot of emotional baggage, and most of them didn’t have a happy ending. Unfortunately, it’s hard to figure out if your partner has too much baggage until you’ve been in a relationship with that person for some time. Only if you can spot whether he or she has emotional baggage sooner, you could stop dating that person. Moreover, you should not get in the relationship in the first place.

Here are some most common types of emotional baggage and how you can spot it.

1. Serious problems within the Family

It doesn’t matter whether your date is 20 or 50, if he or she comes from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that they too will have emotional problems. Even if your date personally doesn't have any personal or emotional issues or their parents or siblings had it, it can cause significant emotional stress on their lives.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is outraged towards a parent or parents, siblings or other family members whenever they get together for family reunions, dinners or parties. You will find that he or she has a parent or a sibling who is an alcoholic or addict and it’s creating a lot of problems in the family. You will discover that he or she was abused verbally, physically and emotionally by one or both parents.

2. Depression

Most of us associate depression that affects women. But, severe forms of depression have been diagnosed in both men and women. So, if a person has some baggage, it’s very likely he or she is severely depressed and need medical attention.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is always moody; don’t like to socialize or talk to others; and little confidence and self-esteem. People with depression aren’t interested in activities which can make them happy, are pessimistic about what the future hold for them. They complain all the time and can get angry or irritated very easily. He or she always starts arguments and cries for no particular reason. However, it’s important to know men and women express their emotional outburst differently.

3. The Ex-Factor

If you start dating someone, who recently broke up with his or her partner, you ask yourself questions like, If he still in love with his ex? Does she still contact her ex? If you feel uncomfortable dating someone who has been in a serious relationship in the past, then end it right there. And for those who have just been out of a relationship, wait for at least six months or more before you fully get over your ex, before you start a new relationship. This way you won’t carry the baggage of your old relationship to the new one.

How You Can Spot It

He or she mentions their former lovers at least once a week during the first few weeks of dating. He or she still keeps pictures of their ex; he says his ex’s name while talking to his friends; he or she always compares you with their ex.

The bottom line is, we all have some emotional baggage the moment we reach adulthood. The advice to remember is that we should be able to control our baggage so that it doesn’t harm our relationships in any way or form.


6 Tips on How to Be Happy After a Breakup

No one told getting over a breakup is easy, but if you know the right coping strategies in the first few weeks, you can make it a lot less painful. Here, I have highlighted the behaviors that have proven to be successful is helping a person get over a breakup and move on with their lives and get their happiness back.

1. Hangout With Your Most Fun Friend

You probably know which friend of yours is the funniest. If not, then figure out which person in your friends' circle is the funniest or makes you laugh. Now, that you have found him/her spend more time with that person. Individuals who are funny lift us when we’re feeling depressed. So, make preparations to get together as much as possible and have fun.

2. Arrange a Small Party at Your Home

We won’t tell you to party the next day; you broke up. But if it has been a week or more, it’s time for you to socialize again. Arrange a dinner party, sports party, or a movie night at your place and invite all of your close friends to join you. Nothing heals a broken heart by spending some quality time with close pals.

3. Go For A Road Trip or A Vacation

If you want to feel motivated and happy, you must look forward to doing something. It’s okay if you want to lay low for some time, but if you want to mend your broken heart, plan a road trip or a vacation for 2-3 days. It will take your mind off all the negative thoughts and instill hope in yourself.

4. Get Engaged In Physically Exhilarating Activities

No, I am not telling you to join a gym and pump iron. This one is completely different. After a breakup, most of us suffer from two things – low energy and bad mood. Getting active in physically challenging activities will boost both your mind and energy. Don’t be lazy and try to do at least one exciting activity per week. You don’t have to go to the gym, try activities that will excite you and make you happy. So, ask a friend and ride a roller coaster or go dancing at the club.

5. Attend A Workshop or A Class

If you want to keep your mind of your recent breakup, consider taking a class or attending a workshop at your local school or community college. It will be a rewarding experience for you. Try something that’s new and fun like pottery, cooking classes, guitar lessons and so forth. It’s a great way to distract your mind from the saddening experience of your breakup and being focused on your daily life.

6. Take On a New Challenge

Instead of drowning in sadness and hopelessness after a breakup, focuses on yourself, give yourself a new challenge and do something productive. If you have gained some weight, lose it; didn’t get that promotion, get it; update your old resume and find a new job; don’t like the paint on your wall, repaint it; and so on. These challenges are helpful, and they force you to get your life back on track and envisage a new beginning.

Overall, all of these tasks will no doubt improve your mood and distract your mind from the anger and sadness after the end of your relationship.


Why You Should Not Date Attention Seekers

There is nothing wrong to get a little attention, but some people take it to a whole new level. Attention seekers make bad partners; they can be frustrating to deal with, and they argue regularly and break up all of a sudden. So, how can you spot an attention seeking person in the dating world?

Here are some common signs of an attention seeker:

Attention seeking people tend to be loud. They like to be the life of the party. They make unclassy jokes, act obnoxious, say things that can be cute or provocative.

Attention seekers often tend to be flirtatious and seductive. They make direct eye contact with other people, touches people in appropriate ways, dresses in ways to grab attention. They prefer being overly sexualized.

Attention seeking men and women are argument starters. They start an argument or get involved in debates and dominate the conversation, just to get everyone's attention and focus on them. This is a major turn off to their partners making them annoyed and frustrated.

So, why it's better if you stay away from dating attention seekers?

1. They often dominate discussions. Attention seekers are motivated by getting attention and are addicted to it. At social gatherings, they are ones who talks most from the rest. They love hearing themselves talk and even better if people focus on them. What is annoying for their partners is they think their partners are taking the spotlight from and pushing them in the shadows. Their partners don't get the chance to express themselves and interact with others in mutually conforming manner.

2. They deny that they crave for attention. It is said to be one of the most frustrating traits of attention seekers. If you happen to date an attention seeker, you probably by now found that your attention seeking partner will deny that he or she wants attention desperately from others. Instead, they will tell you that they get attention because they deserve it and people give it to them. That is straightforward narcissism.

3. Getting attention is more important to attention seekers than relationships. Attention seekers love to seduce people to like them, and they work hard to get others to like them. If you're dating someone who craves attention, who will notice how he or she use the tactics and tricks to flirt, seek attention and start arguments. That's why jealousy is a big issue while being in a relationship with attention seekers. They are so obsessed with getting attention from others that they totally neglect your feelings.

4. Only getting attention from you won't satisfy them. It is a crucial point to remember regarding having a relationship with an attention seeking individual. Regardless, how perfect you are, how sexy, smart, interesting, funny you happen to be – your partner won't be satisfied and will seek validation from others. No matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough for your attention-seeking partner. It's not that you're less desirable and appealing than others, it's their personality to seek attention from others that make them alive deep inside.

The bottom line is seeking attention functions like a drug to attention seekers. They will do anything to get validation and praise from other people. Unless you have unfathomable self-esteem, it's better for you to avoid engaging with an attention seeker if you want to have a loving and committed relationship.


Ways To Learn To Trust Men Again After Being Betrayed

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But once it is broken, either by your boyfriend or husband then it's hard to gather the guts to trust anyone again. Learning to trust again after a distressing betrayal seems like almost impossible, however by accepting the past and building up a new belief about men will make you bring your life back on track.

So, stop being a man hater and try to adopt the following ways to learn to trust men again.

Stop Blaming Yourself

Come on lady; you haven’t done anything wrong nor did you say something bad, it is just that you have placed your trust in someone who was not worth it. It was a bad experience. Do learn from it but do not stop living because of it. And moreover a person who betrayed you don’t possess good moral values, and of course, you would never like to keep such a person in your life, would you?

Feel your feelings

Do not suppress your feelings. Do not keep your anger, sadness, grief or loss inside. It is important to feel these feelings and let them go in a healthy way otherwise; it will keep on killing you from inside which definitely you do not deserve.

Write it out

It is one of the best ways to just write out about how you feel right now and how you felt with the partner who betrayed you. Then write down the positive facts about the people around you on whom you can trust. Then you can make a list of positive things that you want to your potential partner. By doing all, it will make you change your perspectives about relationships and will also be helpful in narrowing down the relationship prospects.

Surround yourself with the people you trust

Look around you. You may find individuals who are loyal to their partners. Surround yourself with the people you trust. Not everyone is the same. Just because if you chose a rotten egg in the past means that every chap on this planet Earth is the same.

Let go of your past

The past is over now, and you must have learned from it. Now it is the time to let go of all your anger, frustration, sadness, grieves. There are so much new exciting things that are waiting for you. So take a deep breath, move forward and tell yourself that everything is going to be alright.

 

Seek professional help

If even after trying, things do not seem to settle down then there is nothing wrong with looking into a professional help. Moreover, you feel like that you are set to attract bad men then the experts will help you finding a better one for yourself.

Trust yourself first

Be confident and trust yourself and your instinct first. You have not done anything bad, and it was not your fault. Come on lady! The right guy is waiting for you. If you do not trust your inner guidance, you will never be able to get out of your past. Do not waste your time to give more chances to the one who deserves you.

Dealing with betrayal is not easy at all. It takes time. But considering these pointers will be quite helpful in leaving your past behind and attract a better man in your life.


Love Triangles And Their Confusing Complications

Undoubtedly love triangles are complicated affairs. Have you fallen for a person who is already in love with somebody else? Or are you falling for another person when you already are in love with someone else at the same time? Well, this is what we call a perfect love triangle.

So what should you do now? How to stick to one and leave the other? How to make one stay and get the other one out of your mind and life?

A love triangle is a complicated scenario where more than two people are involved. When love is shared mutually between two people, then it is simple and easy, but when the third person gets into the picture, everything topples upside down. In comes the frustration along with intense bitterness.

Types of Love Triangle

There are two primary types of a love triangle:

  • The first one is the one for whom two people strive for achieving affection of one person.
  • The second one is the one to whom you are attracted and falling at the same time while you are already in love with someone.

How would you find out that it’s a love triangle?

If you have a perfect relationship with your partner and a friend tells you that he/she is in love with you then that does not make a love triangle. It is just a crush. Similarly, if you start having the crush on a person who is already in a relationship, then this again is a mere crush.

A love triangle begins when there comes reciprocation. If you are already in a relationship and start showing interest in another person who reciprocates your interest and love, then this is the point where the perfect love triangle recipe starts getting prepared.

It is only due to reciprocation that the motive is pursued. Moreover, love triangle never takes place due to only one person. Two people are involved in creating it where the third one is the main sufferer for no fault at all.

 Love triangles always affect relationships negatively

If you try to steal a person who is already in an unhappy relationship, then it is quite easy. But what if you try to steal an individual who is happy in his/her relationship? They will never be willing to leave their partner. You may be able to get hold of a few of the moments of love and happiness, but nothing more is going to come your way.

Love Triangles are painfully fun

The love triangle is fun for the third person and the cheating partner as it is risky and exciting. But for the partner, it is miserable as you detach yourself from them both emotionally and physically. But after some time when the fun starts to fade away with the third partner, and you start realizing that you still love your partner then it brings only pain.

Love triangles are selfish

If your partner does the same what you are doing to him/her, then what is going to be your reaction? What would you do if your partner behaves the same as you do or use the same flirty wordings that you do? Now if it bothers you, then this is very unfair, and you are acting selfishly.

So, if you are experiencing a love triangle, then it does not make you a bad person. It is something that is humanly possible to happen with anyone.


What To Do When You Start Liking Someone Else?

We come across many people in our routine life that we appreciate or like. Up till this point, it is fine. But what if you start getting deeply attracted to another person when you already in a relationship? Does this new guy make your heart skip a beat? If this is so, then the situation, as well as the feeling you start holding for this new person in your life, is inevitable. But the question now arise is that what are you going to do about it?

A bit of flirting is harmless but what if your infatuation grows with the passage of time and is converted into an obsession and deep love? Well, it is quite reasonable to get attracted to someone but deciding what to do about it is never easy. Falling for another person when you are already in love with somebody else is quite confusing, and you need to ask yourself that why is this so?

The first thing that you should do is to evaluate your relationship with your partner. Do you find that magical bond missing which you two use to share? How do you see your relationship three years from now? If you do not get the positive answers, then there is something wrong with your relationship.

Other than finding something wrong about your relationship, perhaps you are becoming fickle, and you think that you deserve a better person than your partner. Watch out for all the signs first before jumping onto the new path.

The Old Long Term Relationship and your New Crush

Every long term relationship is super exciting and romantic at the start but with the passage of time couple settles down back to their routine life. This doesn’t mean that the love or the romance is missed out; it is that the relationship matures in a way that it becomes more than wooing and sleepless nights where long term relationship is kept alive through compatibility, active communication, and emotional maturity.

So, if you start liking somebody else when you are already in a relationship, then this may be because of that fluttering experience of the early times that you had with your partner. Remember this time will get over in a year even with your new partner. So, what are you going to do then? Are you going to keep on switching your partner your whole life one after the other?

What should you do?

It can be a possibility that the new person you have fallen for does not like you in the same way that you do. Or maybe this new relationship is not going to hold the intensity after some time that the long-term relationships should hold.

If you are euphoric with your current partner, then there is no point of getting yourself confused over just a mere crush or infatuation. It is not worth it. But if you think that you do not see a healthy future with your current partner then you may consider taking into account the new relationship, even then it is not fair to your partner who may go to confront you anytime soon. And what I would suggest that before indulging yourself into a new relationship give the old one a shot and have an open discussion with you, partner. But even after several tries, you find out that the relationship is still not working then you can end it. But never end your long-term, trusted relationship just because you have found someone new.


An Introvert’s Guide to Dealing With a Breakup

Breakups are hard on everyone. Whether you are a girl or a guy, that time after a breakup is going to take you into someone of your life’s worse days. It is at those time you are in dire need of some close friends or family that can help you get through it and who can make you get back to normal life as soon as possible. What about the introverts, though? We all know what life of an introvert is and how their social circle is limited to just a handful of people. Dealing with breakups for introverts, therefore, is much difficult than how we would have it. This article is going to give a few ways introverts can overcome the sadness of breakups.

#1 Take a deep breath and chill out

A breakup is a sad thing, but it shouldn’t be made a matter of life and death. You need to calm yourself and understand that it is not the end of the world. You have your whole life ahead of you, and a million things are waiting for you. This one sad incident should not put you down in any case. Your sadness and low feelings are all a product of your mind. If your mind is positive, then you will not at all go through a sad phase after a breakup.

#2 Tell your friends to chill out

If you have a bunch of extrovert friends, then you are going to facing a hard time with them at this point. They love you of course, but their ways of fixing you are just not the right one. They will immediately put you on new dating websites and take you to parties to meet new people. They will be trying their best to hook you up with someone or get to flirt at least. Well, you are an introvert, and it’s your nature to be into hat shell. You need to tell your friends that you are comfortable being that way and that they need to calm themselves. All you probably need to know is that they are there for you and that belief alone will be enough.

#3 You have to process and grieve

As much as it is healthy not to take a breakup too seriously, it is equally important to analyze the situation and know what went wrong. It isn’t easy for an introvert to give someone that much love and importance, so they definitely have to grieve over it now that they have left. At the same time, you should process the situation where you made a mistake or where the other person was lacking. This will ensure that the next time it doesn’t get repeated.

#4 Get over it

After you are done with all the steps from 1 till 3, it is now time to let it go. You have lost a loved one, but it wasn’t all on you, you still have it for you to love someone else. Know that fate has chosen someone better for you and it is only sometimes that you find him/her.

 


When to Know the Relationship Has Run It’s Course

Life is a lot about making compromises and settling for things against our will. For instance, we may agree to eat a certain place not because we want but because someone we love like their food. We agree to meet certain people despite our dislike for them just because someone close wanted us to attend that gathering. Our compromises are usually for people who matter a lot, and those who we know are worth it. However, there are some things which should never be compromised on. Relationships are one of them. The relationship is long term and affects each and every part of our life so that a toxic relationship can bring a lot of difficulties. There are some traits in a person that immediately signal you that the relationship is not worth making an effort for and this article will talk about those traits.

#1 Partner who doesn’t give 100 percent

A successful relationship is all about the keen interest shown by both of the partners. If one of them doesn’t show an equal level of interest or seems to be lost most of the time, then it is the time to give that relationship a second thought. Involvement as well should be equal from both sides, and not one person should be left to support the relationship.

#2 Partner who is full of ego

There is no ego when two people love each other. They should both be open to each other where both are willing to accept their mistakes whenever they do something wrong. This is what actually builds trust and strengthens a relationship. If one out of the two displays ego all the time and refuses to accept his/her mistakes, then that is totally unacceptable.

#3 Someone who cannot take a good sense of humor

One way to lessen the tensions of life and to make it easy to bear is to know how to laugh some of it off. A good sense of humor is like a blessing if one person in the relationship has it. Some, however, get too serious and instead shut the other one up when they try to lighten the mood. Such people are bad energy and should be left alone.

#4 Someone who won’t grow with you

Your life partner needs to bring out the positivity in you and encourage you to pursue your dreams. If at any point you feel as if he/she is putting you down and becoming rather a hurdle in your way of success then that is a sign that he/she is not the right person.

#5 A partner who is not compassionate

There is a reason why two people come in a relationship because they want someone to share their life with. If the other person shows a careless attitude where he/she is too busy to listen to whatever you have to say or who doesn’t have time to make you realize how much you mean to them then that person is certainly not worth all that effort.

After this, it is time you take a break and sort that relationship out for once.