Category Archives: Breakups

Two Sides To A Breakup

The reasons for a breakup could be plenty, but primarily there are just two situations; either you have initiated the breakup or the other person has broken up. These two sides of a breakup have different ways of dealing with it, explained below.

When you break up with someone!

  • Understand; before you jump to any conclusions, it is important that you first analyze the situation and see how you have acted in all of it. You should carry out a little self-reflection of yourself where you know exactly why you did that and what triggered it and also if you were right or not.
  • Be Honest; you have, to be honest throughout the course. There is no use in lying about events or making false statements about the other person. If there is anything that can help, then that is if you deal with everything the honest way and accept even if you have made some mistakes. Also, even after a breakup, you should remain honest, and not continue with the “just friends” phase when you cannot actually handle it.
  • Never drag; it sure is difficult to break it, someone, that you no longer want to continue the relationship or that they don’t mean that special to you anymore but despite the difficulty, you should never drag it. The sooner you inform the other person, the better it will be; otherwise, you will just be ruining each other’s time.
  • Be kind but sure; breakups are not supposed to be full of anger and hatred. They can be dealt in a mature and kind way but then again, in that kindness too you must convey the real message.

When someone breaks up with you!

  • Dignity first; dealing with a breakup news is surely sad and heartbreaking, but you need to learn how to put yourself together at that time. You should control yourself not to scream or attack anyone/anything.
  • Get support; the best way to deal with the news is to go to a close friend or family member. Going to them and sharing your feelings or even crying will help you get over the initial stress of a breakup. This is also safe for you compared to if you were all alone and at the risk of doing something bad to yourself.
  • Don’t blame yourself; blaming yourself is not healthy at all because it is them who broke up not you. Blaming yourself the whole life will always be toxic to our emotional health. You need to tell yourself that you gave your best to the relationship and that it was the other person who was not competent enough to handle it.
  • Learn from it; as much as you tell yourself that it was the other person’s fault, but still you should have an attitude where you are ready to accept that you’re not perfect either. In fact, a self-evaluation would work best here.

How to Deal With Breakup The Mature Way

The breakup should not be taken as an end to life; instead, it is that powerful time of your life when you can actually build all the positive energy to reboot your life. Women are thought to deal with breakups like a kid lying in bed and crying over and over. But, no! Time has changed, and there are plenty ways women can deal with the breakup in a mature and grown up way. Few of them are listed below;

#1- Immediately block him

You might think that this is an unimportant thing, but actually, when you see all his pictures and memories online it will really put you back in the past where getting back will become difficult than ever. So, it is only wise to make sure that he is far away from your social group where there is now way he can contact you or for you to see his face in any way.

#2- Avoid the “just friends” tag

There is a pretty high chance that the guy proposes to continue the relationship but staying friends only. The moment he brings it up, be sure to counter it with a clear no. Guys are emotionally stable and can handle the all friends situation with an ex pretty well, but for women, it is difficult as ever because every time they will talk to that guy or meet him, it will remind them of all the good memories that they had.

#3- Take your friends’ support

We all have our bad times, and we all get sad at some point in life. After a breakup too there will be urges where you would just want to get drunk and cry alone in your room. At those times it is better if you call one or two of your closest friends to share the pain with. Friends know how to make you feel normal, and they will only make that time better.

#4- Keep your phone away when you’re drunk

We are the most vulnerable when drunk. You never know when you might want to get all mushy and send a stupid text to your ex. So, if you want to deal with all the mature way, make sure that your phone is a little out of your reach while you are drunk.

#5- Get your workout game strong

Working out or indulging in some intense work routine will really help to direct all your aggression to the positive output. In addition to that, your body will feel nice and everything will feel fresh overall. Yoga, for instance, can be a lifesaver in such dramatic situations.

#6- Stay a free bird

Going out and meeting new people is always a fun experience to have. The more you busy yourself with recreations and outings, the less you will think about your breakup. If not much, then even 3 or 4 hours spent solely outside for fun will be of great help.

#7- Take it as a phase

This will perhaps be the most helpful mentally because you will be telling yourself that it was not something big and that things like these are bound to happen in everyone’s life. Think of it as a bad phase that has passed, and now you’re not supposed to think about it that much.

These seven ways will surely take you out from this bad breakup time and at the same time make you feel proud of yourself that you dealt it in a mature way.

 


Six Reasons Women Fall Out of Love

You need work on your relationship if you want it to last long. Relationships need love, nurturing and appreciation to grow. No one intends to be in a relationship where they are taken for granted, misunderstood and betrayed. Love requires trust, commitment, and respect. It’s easy to fall in love, but remaining in love and being committed to your partner forever, that’s hard.

Sometimes, love doesn’t last and gets lost. Here are six reasons why women fall out of love, and you can prevent yourself from being that “guy”.

1. The honeymoon phase is over. Some ladies have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships and marriage. They expect their life to be all sunshine and roses. However, when reality sets in, the newness of their love starts to fade away; they focus on their jobs, paying bills and other responsibilities. This makes them overwhelmed; they lose interest in the relationship, and they fall out.

2. They aren’t adored like before. For women, they like to be appreciated, acknowledged, and cherished, when they’re in a relationship. Women now become mothers, teachers, cooks, doctors, housekeepers and so on. They have to juggle and balance so many things in life. Women don’t complain about it, but if they’re adored and appreciated by their partners, it’s all worth it for them. Men do this at the beginning of the relationship, but over time they forget to express their feelings and gratitude towards them.

3. Their relationship becomes boring. When two people have been in a relationship for a long time, some men may seem to be less interested and lack passion in the relationship. We have heard a lot of ladies complaining about this. If you want your relationship to be thriving and exciting, you have got to keep it interesting and invest some time and effort in it.

4. The chemistry has been lost. During the initial stages of the dating, the chemistry between the two people is addicting. The only thing they can think about all the time is to be together and spend time with each other. As the relationship matures, the chemistry starts to fade away, and sparks aren’t there anymore. This isn’t always bad, but for women, it means that they should move on. This isn’t a mature thing to do, but for some women, that’s the only option they have to go forward.

5. She’s tired of being criticized. Nobody likes being criticized all the time. For a woman, it will destroy any warmth, respect and loving feelings they might have for their man. Some men just like to criticize and nit-pick for every little thing or “mistake”, they have done, until she feels depleted. So, now she’ll be less caring towards you and stop putting any effort into the relationship. What’s worse, to uphold her self-esteem and her respect and herself, she will end the relationship and head towards the door.

6. There is no communication and emotional connection in the marriage. Kind and loving communication between couples is a must for long-term relationships. It’s that or none. It’s vital that partners’ remains emotionally connected and be each other’s priority. It’s true we can distract in life, but one should avoid the things that distract them for what matters the most—love between two individuals. We all wanted to be loved and desired, and if that doesn’t happen, then someone will shut down and eventually, love gets lost.

Relationships aren’t perfect. If you’re feeling down with your relationship, talk with your therapist, close friends and family for support. Remember why loved this person and recall the moments he or she made feel loved and happy. Focus on that and reignite your romance and try to find happiness.


Abusive Relationship Signs of a Devious Lover

Nothing can be worse and painful than being tricked by your partner to live in an abusive relationship. It starts verbally, and one day something is thrown at you. With the passage of time, it becomes scary. Your dream of a perfect relationship is broken apart, and you feel utterly hopeless and helpless against it.

Abusive relationships will leave you isolated and alone. Several people all around the world are experiencing abusive relationship, and it is not only your boyfriend or spouse who upsets and traumatized you with abuse, but it can also be from your parents, boss, coworkers, siblings, etc. The person who makes you distressed, miserable and drains out all your energies then chances are you are being abused by such a person.

Being abusive in a relationship could be of two types; one is emotional, and the other one is physical. Emotional abuse shatters you from inside, whereas physical violence smashes you from outside. And undergoing from both hurts the most.

Signs of Abusive Relationship

No matter what the circumstances are, nobody has the right to abuse you in any manner. In a relationship, watch out for the following signs that will reveal the truth before your eyes about the abusive behavior of your partner.

  • Your partner always keeps on criticizing you no matter how well you have handled the things. To your spouse, you are always a big disappointment. They will starve you to helplessness for the compliments and appreciations.
  • Your partner embarrasses you in public. They can become loud and disrespectful for only the smallest reason.
  • Does your partner use foul language now and then? If yes then you need to take a serious notice of this.
  • One of the biggest and the clear most sign is the physical hit out of the heat of a moment.
  • Some partners after verbal and physical abuses will feel sorry and tries to make up after the fight. They will start making eternal promises and use sweet wordings.
  • Some partner may use silent treatment and try to pressurize you further by putting all the blame on you. They want to make you believe that it was entirely your fault, not theirs.
  • Your partner may try to end up the conversation by pushing you away or raising their hand.
  • Your partner may slap you very often. In the beginning, it might be a slight slap on the cheek, but later on, it may reach to hard hits for even on small silly errors.
  • At the start of the relationship your partner may seem like just being involved in your life but after some time they will start controlling your life. Eventually, you will lose all your friends, and you become completely dependent on your partner.
  • Your partner always wants things their way. They will be the dominant ones. They will either order or in case of argument, they will continue to argue until you give it in their way.
  • An abusive person’s moods are highly unpredictable. Their mood swing from happy to anger within no time or one can say just in a flash.

How to get away from an Abusive Relationship?

After getting to know about the signs, it is the time to gather the courage and stand against the abusive actions of your partner.

  • You have been manipulated by them that you are dependent on them. Stop thinking this way. Take one step forward at a time, and you will become capable of doing things independently.
  • Do not tolerate all this quietly. Don’t be scared and take a stand for your right. You will start feeling confident, and one day you will be able to get over with all this.
  • Get some help and support from your family or friends. Talk to them about what to do with such an abusive behavior of your partner. If necessary, seek a professional help.

After identifying the abusive signals, it is better to walk away from such a partner. After all, no good can come from such a partner.


4 Insidious Thoughts That Leads People to Cheat

Love and marriage are forever—at least it’s supposed to be, but forever is a very long time, right? This is why some couples often struggle to remain monogamous for all those years and maintain a relationship for so long. They are tempted with a lot of internal and external factors that can test the boundaries of your monogamous relationship, which can take advantage of your weak spot and tempt you to cheat.

Many reasons can break up a marriage, but these four are the biggest problems that can test your monogamous relationship to its limits.

Your Ego

If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you partner probably knows a lot about you and your vulnerable spots. He or she knows what makes you happy, what makes sad or angry, and what makes you doubt yourself and confidence. Within this period, you have experienced some rough times in your marriage or relationship and argued with your partner, and chances are you’re at a low point in your life. It is at the emotional phase the most spouses decide to cheat on their partners. Fighting has damaged their egos so much that their egos want a little payback time, and this though the process is always destructive.

The Relationship Became Boring

Many people believe marriage is some type of a magical institution that will fulfill their lives meaning and feeling content. Marriage seems exactly like a long-term relationship, where two people live together, but now the honeymoon phase is longer at the beginning. But after getting married, they realize it doesn’t change their life, and they get disillusioned and shocked. This realization often leads to boredom, so people get involved in relationships outside of marriage, for the contentment that their marriages were supposed to give them.

They Admit It’s Their Fault

When people are having problems in their marriages or feel like they are being neglected, he or she often blames themselves for them. They surrender themselves to the fact that they deserve this to happen to them, and believe that somehow it will empower them. So they justify having affairs outside of their marriages and hope to find some personal meaning or redemption. Well, it doesn’t work that way, and that’s just selfish. If you’re unhappy in your marriage, discuss it with your partner and address it.

Body Issues

When we age, our bodies begin to change, and we start to feel insecure about our bodies. When two people are married for a long time; they become so used to see each other that they can forget to compliment him or her on their looks. Meanwhile, your partner may become secretly worried that you will find him or her attractive because of their bald spot, muffin-top or if they noticed their new wrinkles and so on. This will become an issue when your spouse encounters someone new, and he or she compliments them about their physical looks. These swift affirmations can have a significant impact on your partner, and they might have started having an affair with this new person who finds him or her desirable again.

Marriage is hard work if you want it t last forever. Being monogamous isn’t easy, and you’ll need to handle it, no matter what. These four sneaky challenges can harm and even end a healthy marriage, so address these issues if you see them if you want you a long-lasting marriage.


The Main Reasons People Fall Out of Love

Love is a beautiful thing and a powerful emotional feeling until it fades away. There are lots of relationship killers, and they can be anything from laziness to unwarranted criticism. Meanwhile, trust, attention, commitment, communication, and creativity make your love stronger and the relationship long-lasting. Just making sure how he or she means how much to you, and telling and showing him or her that is enough to make a lasting impression.

Here are some main reasons why people lose their love and in the process their relationships:

Good communication is the key to for a loving relationship. When two people in a relationship stop communicating and don’t express their wants and feelings, problems start to pile up and go unresolved. If this keeps on going for too long, it’s a matter of time before the relationship gets dissolved.

When two people in a relationship took each other for granted, we can easily tell that their love is unconditional and their consequently they get lazy with each other. They don’t put much effort and work into their relationship like they did when they started dating. When dedication, kindness, and respect disappear, so does the love.

They failed to meet each other’s expectations. During the initial dating stages, it’s easy to compromise with your partner’s needs and expectations. Over time, couples often focus on themselves more and pay less attention to their partner’s expectations, especially if those expectations don’t match with each other.

One of the partners' has found something new about his or her partner. Betrayal in a relationship can create whole new impression someone has about their spouses. Finding out that your partner has cheated on you, concealed a secret, and behaved with you in an unexpected way, can do irreversible damage to the relationship. But when he or she is overly jealous and doesn’t trust you, then there 6 little chance this relationship can move forward.

As individuals in a relationship gets to know each other over the course of the relationship, and the initial sparks die, they begin to learn that he/she are incompatible with each other. They discover that their priorities, opinions, lifestyle and values don’t align.

If the fire in the relationship extinguishes, both people in a relationship becomes exhausted. Boredom sets in and committing to the relationship becomes harder to handle.

There is no real love in the relationship, to begin with in the first place. Lust was disguised as love, and when the honeymoon phase is done, the relationship can become empty and meaningless.

A major life changing incident in a relationship can significantly alter the direction of a relationship. May she have become a mother and he no longer thinks her as her lover, but a mom. He got fired from work and depressed and refused to acknowledge her support. Instead, of facing the all the challenges of life together, some couple crumble under the hardships and pressures of uncertainty or the unknown.

Love—sometimes it fails to last a lifetime. Love and relationship are built on solid foundations. If a relationship started poorly, or a product of an affair or things went too fast, lacked trust and commitment, and not rooted enough to withstand hardships or the test of time, it’s bound to fail.


Signs You Are Settling In An Unhappy Relationship

Everyone expect their love life to be perfect, like the ones they have seen in the movies and dramas. You want it to be full of fun and romance. But in reality, this may not happen to you and your dismay it turns out to be totally opposite to what you have desired for.

What if leaving the first one and moving on to the next one and again the next one and still doesn’t find a perfect one for you. Will you agree to settle down on something and someone less ideal for you? Will you think that this is what you deserve and nothing better than this? A relationship should be such that makes you complete rather than miserable. Being in an unhappy and depressed relationship, it is better off to be alone.

It is easy to know when you are settling in the sad and gloomy relationship. Just ask yourself, and you will get the answer. And once you receive the answer, firstly accept it yourself and then confess it in front of your partner. Gather the courage to tell him that you cannot continue a relationship like this and every discomfort needs to be sort out.

Read out the following signs and if you find using these to console yourself that you are better off in sticking to an unhappy relationship then you really need to be helped out to make you admit it in front of your partner otherwise such a relationship will get you go insane in anytime soon.

  • You know that you are in an unsatisfactory relationship when you keep on telling and convincing yourself that there are so many people out there who are having relationships even worse than yours.
  • Sometimes you are with your partner because they want to be with you. They want to be around you and for you. You think about it not to be the best one but good enough to endure this relationship, even though it means lifetime unhappiness.
  • You know your partner, and you are drifting apart, but you do not prefer doing anything to fix things right by thinking even the relationships worse than yours are still holding on then why can’t yours be.
  • Waiting for that day to come when your partner is going to change for you is like walking in a fool’s paradise. Who is not willing to change for you from today then what else can you expect from such a partner in future.
  • You may stick to your partner with a hope that you may find someone better someday. So till then you decide to put up with this relationship.
  • Life is too short to live depressed. There comes the time when some people think that they can deal with such an unhappy relationship. But my question is that when you are so sure and certain about not being happy in a relationship then why you want to hold it back when you can have a choice of having a better life by moving on.
  • One of the greatest fears is of being alone. Obviously, everybody wants a partner to share every moment of their lives. But what if they are left alone and do not find another one? Don’t you think that being alone and happy is far better than being in a relationship and unhappy?

Settling in an unhappy relationship may seem easy but what I believe that one should prefer fixing things right or opt to move out of the relationship rather than living a life of sorrows and regrets.


Signs the Guy You are Dating Is a Player

Who wants to be cheated or played? Nobody! Simply Nobody! It is the worst feeling ever. We all dream for a warm, healthy and a perfect relationship. However, unfortunately, a few of us gets the privilege of being betrayed and fooled. Just because you have been very cautious or have been very sensible while tackling with the relationships does not mean that you cannot be tricked. Players are very clever, and they can deceive you within no time. Before you could enable yourself to understand the situation that how things are working out and what exactly is happening, they swindle your around and simply vanish away.

Players often hide behind their fake images of a polite, helpful and honest gentleman. They will treat you with complete honor and respect. But the moment you let them enter in your life, you will start suspecting their suspicious behavior. And before you could have a clear idea about it, you have been played and left heartbroken.

Let us watch out for the following signs to spot a player or a cheater.

Wandering Eyes

When you feel your guy’s eyes are wandering around for other girls, then it is one of the clear signals. Do not waste your time on such a person whose eyes are wandering even in front of you as he might be up to something more in your absence.

He tunes in or out often

Does he blow your phone one day with constant calls and text messages? And the very next day you will find him nowhere. Although one may call to ask for is everything alright, but the chances are that he might be busy with another woman out there.

Vigorous and fast

Within just no days, your lover comes up with a piece of a random jewelry item and says “I Love You” is something that is quite weird and unconvinced. How can a guy who just met you a few days back dies to marry you so early? Remember not to give it up to the man who is telling you that he loves you and want to marry you within just a few days of knowing you.

He has cheated before

The person who cheated once cannot be relied upon again. So if you come to know that his previous break up was because he cheated his former girlfriend, then it is better to get rid of such a guy.

Moreover, if your lover cheated his last girlfriend because of your than how can you trust such a person? He can cheat you as well to move forward with another woman.

He won’t be your friend on social media

If you are dating a guy who says that he does not accept the friend’s request of a person he dates or if he does not have any Facebook or any other social media ID then he is playing with you.

Indefinite replies

If a person you are dating always give vague answers to your questions especially about meeting out again then he is playing games around. He is probably not sure that he will be with another woman on a date at that time.

Getting played or cheated sucks big time. Use the above techniques to spot for a cheater and back off as early as possible before he plays his fake card.


5 Reasons Men Stay in Loveless Relationships

There may come a situation in your life that you in a sad and loveless relationship and struggling to everything possible to end it and move on. But you decided to stick even it’s affecting your personal, social and professional life. You are always asked uncomfortable questions by your close friends and family members, and they have found it easy to answer it—why does he still is in this relationship as we can easily see they both aren’t happy. That’s because these folks know you better than you know better that anyone including yourself. They can quickly comprehend that you’re desperately trying to break free from this dead-end relationship.

Here are five common reasons men stay glued in bad relationships and trying to move on from it:

Inertia

If this word is too scientific for you, let say it simple terms; laziness or apathy. You already have invested a lot of your time and energy in this relationship, and you don’t want start all over again. The problem is the force that is required to start all over come from within, not externally. This means that figuring out what you need and can’t live without, establishing boundaries and defending them. Get rid of habits that have kept from moving forward. If you decided to go for the second best, bear in mind, it would cost you later, and some effort is required to change it.

Anxious of Conflict

Breaking up with the person you’ve been dating for a while is one of most conflict-filled, tumultuous and painful chapters in on=e’s life. It’s an upsetting reality that a lot of men and women are unhappy relationships for months, and even years, but they won’t break up, as they are afraid of the pain involved in breaking up and moving on. There are many reasons to stay put in a relationship, but the fear of pain and conflict isn’t one of them.

Afraid of Change

No doubt, all of us are scared of change and knowingly throwing our lives into uncertainty. But the truth is nothing stays forever, not even mountains and galaxies. It’s our “status quo” of our way of life and society that discourages us be with the odds with rest of the world. And it’s has nothing to do when it comes to a romantic relationship. Don’t allow the fear of change to keep you away from end things and move on when the time comes.

Fear of Dating

Most men find dating stressful, especially if were out of the dating scene for a while. It’s true, meeting new people is exciting, but dating also means you have to meet someone else’s expectations, and you might also find she’s too not meeting yours. Visualizing all possible scenarios can be stressful and frightening enough and will push some people to stay out of dating. But the silver lining here is that you can meet someone that’s right for you to be in a relationship. But you won’t find out if you don’t try.

Fear of Loneliness

Some men are so are frightened at the prospect of being alone in their rooms or front of their TV; they are willing to be unfulfilling relationships. They would ditch the possibility of finding someone new and be in a happy relationship and think that they won't find someone new. So, spending time with the wrong person seems preferable to them than having no one to be with. It’s true that after breaking up you may be alone for some time, but that’s not the end of the world.

It’s fully up to you to decide that time has arrived for a change in your romantic life and start anew. If you’ve ready for that, don’t let inertia, apathy, and fear to stop you from moving one for greater expectations.


6 Reasons Why All Couples Should Have A Prenup Before Marriage

A prenup is an agreement that is signed before marriage that specifies the process in case the marriage results in a divorce. It's a wise decision to sign a prenup is the ensure the financial stability and future of the well-off member in the marriage. If a marriage ends, and the none of the individuals had a prenup, then the consequences of financial settlement proceedings of a divorce can be disastrous for the financial well-being of the other spouse.

So, it's wise to get a prenup and here are six good reasons to get one:

The saying,” til death do us part,” may sound convincing on paper, but in reality, it's whole new story. According to statistics, almost half of all marriages end up in a divorce. You can't be sure that your marriage falls in the other half. So, it's safe to play the odds.

Divorces can damage your credit history as well as your financial future. I am not exaggerating as it's true that divorces can ruin your credit and destabilize your finances. If you don't have a prenup, there is a high possibility that you may have to pay for alimony, pay for ex-partners debts, and pay for child support in case you have kids from your former marriage.

Prenups are helpful during the divorce proceedings as there will be less arguing and less frustration about which parties gets what and how. Divorce are hurtful and unfortunate and are emotionally stressful. An avenging spouse can conspire to take everything from you, and both your personal feelings and finances are affected. Having a prenup will minimize such stressful circumstances.

Typically, a divorce proceeding will need months before the final arrangements and settlements are made. And they can get even lengthy with a prenup. Both parties will require spending months in court discussing your marriage and other related issues, but a prenup agreement will help to speed things up.

Prenups ensure everyone has their fair share. Signing up a prenup agreement is easy. In the process of termination of marriage, a prenup helps is reaching a fair agreement between the wife and husband as long as both are satisfied with the proceedings. But, if the marriage is nullified because a spouse is found of guilty of cheating, then the cheated spouse will receive most the financial assets and other properties. So, don't cheat when you have a prenup.

Marriages are lovely, bonding affairs. But sometimes due to failing to keep up with expectations and unreconcilable differences between the husband and wife, a divorce becomes inevitable in such a situation. This can be stressful, but prenups lessen it. You see when individuals are prepared for an unknown and upcoming disaster or any event; they feel less stressed. Think of a prenup as an insurance policy that keeps your prepared should your happy marriage ends in the future, and both parties are protected.

Prenup helps individuals prepared so that they can get a fair settlement if a couple decides to end the marriage. Even though you are in a happy and stable marriage, you can't be entirely certain that your marriage won't end in a divorce. So, sign a prenup, it's an easy and smart thing to do.