Category Archives: Get A Girlfriend

How to Stay Hopeful When You Are Failing At Finding Love

Dating can sometimes be upsetting. Many of us feel bummed after a first date with someone who never contacts again. Some just become hopeless and avoid dating at all. Hopelessness is bad both physically and emotionally. When you feel hopeless, your feel uneasiness in your tummy, your head starts to spin, your shoulders hurt, you lose your appetite, you feel unhappy and so forth. When you’re in this state, it’s tough for someone to reassure you things will get better eventually. You’ve have lost your self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of purpose.

But stop overacting, and there’s a way out. Here are five of them:

Stop thinking of being loved as your main purpose

You won’t remain single forever. It just didn’t happen to you yet. Life is full of struggles and things like “happily ever after” are a myth. People fall in love, have relationships, get married and divorced many times in their lives. Now, singles outnumber married population in the United States, according to latest statistics. So, stop thinking that you’re useless just because you’re not in a relationship or unmarried.

Prepare for dry spells

It doesn’t matter how much free or fun your single life is, there will be times when you’ll be sick of being alone. So, if you’re free on the weekends, spend it with your friends and family, instead of running errands. Go for a fun activity or visit someplace new. The key here is not letting your lonely and depressing thoughts occupying your head.

Enjoy your alone time

If you’ve been in a relationship or dated for a while, the last thing you wanted to do is spend another lonely or dateless Friday night by yourself. We understand it’s not what we want you to do, but at least make it enjoyable by having your own party. Do a movie marathon. Cook something nice for yourself with fresh produce from the farmer’s market. Pour yourself some expensive champagne. This will make you forget that you’re not waiting for a significant other to celebrate your life.

Tell yourself that everything you’re doing is right.

The truth is if people make an effort to find love, they eventually will find it. Stay motivated and tell yourself that everything you’re doing is directed towards your cause and needs. Before going to bed, visualize about all the things that you did that day. It might be you updated your online dating profile, changed your profile photo, and responded to an email. If you’re trying to lose some weight, remember how many minutes you ran on the treadmill, or how well you did in the aerobic session and so on.

Keep in mind; this phase will be over

If you’re in wrong place or time, give yourself a time limit on how long you’ll be sloshing around in there. It is okay if sulk about your life for a night. The next day, get over it, and send out few emails, and try again.

There is nothing wrong with you’re single or finding it difficult to find someone to love and be in a relationship. Brush it all off, relax and be a little patient. You won’t be single the rest of your life. It’s just that you’ve met the person you wanted to love.


Don’t Let One Failed Relationship Derail You From Finding Love Again

Read closely – life is a series of events. They might make us happy, sad, or heartbroken. But, it’s not permanent. So, how can one traumatic event shake you to the core so badly that you feel unable to move on?

Some people may have experienced something terrible in their lives such as a breakup or divorce that they never really recovered from. They may get depressed for years, and come to believe that they’ll never try to date or talk to a potential partner again. They tell themselves that flirting with someone new isn't working, and they are quick to get down on themselves, especially in regards to relationships.

Individuals may open up emotionally about themselves just once or twice. And if something goes wrong, they could decide to not talk about themselves and stay distant for the rest of their lives. They vow that they’ll never present themselves as a vulnerable person, and all of this happened because of one single event. It seems like one incident or relationship has the power to determine how we will spend the rest of our lives. It's true that one unfortunate event can cause a major setback in your life, sometimes setting you back for days, weeks or even months. But, it's not as bad as you may think.

Our lives don’t consist of only one event. We face dozens of events all the time. We fall; we get up and move on. We fall again, we repeat it. Those of you who allow yourself to become mortified with one incident, will go into the state of “gloom”. You may shut down and tell the world that you aren’t worthy of love or a relationship. You don’t risk anything, just to protect yourself from facing another setback. One setback and you’re done with your life. This is no way to live life. Remember, you’ll always have to face some sort of challenge.

Sometimes, life doesn’t go the way we planned. Those who struggle to cope, might get consumed, while those who are strong stay resilient and persevere.

People think if they shut down emotionally then nobody will hurt them. Well, if you decide to remain emotionally unavailable, it will be extremely difficult to share a real connection with someone. So, it’s time you let go of your fear, embrace your vulnerability and set aside that single event that’s keeping you from moving forward. Be assured that you’ll feel alive and eventually find love.


6 Signs That Indicate You Aren’t Ready For A Relationship

So you want to be in a relationship, but are you emotionally ready to be in one? Taking a look at ourselves is challenging, but it’s a smart and rewarding. Lots of people are so eager to find someone to be their better halves that they forget the fact they might not be ready for commitment. Just because you had an epiphany that you want to be in a relationship, doesn’t always make you ready for one. Being in a relationship and wanting to someone to share your life with isn’t the same thing.

Here are some signs that show that you might not be ready for a relationship:

1. You’re attracted to the wrong person

You’re always getting attracted to someone who isn’t right for you again and again. Even after your friends and family have warned that this person isn’t the one to have a relationship, you still are dating them. However, it doesn’t take very long to realize that you’ve made a wrong decision all along.

2. You only feel happy if you’re dating “someone.”

You’re invited to a family or friend’s dinner party or any social event, but as you don’t have a date to escort you, you skip it altogether. It is a very terrible reason to get into a relationship. First, learn how to be happy with yourself. How can you make a person happy, if you’re miserable in the first place?

Some women believe that they need to find someone to get on with their lives. This is where the drama starts. These women date someone who is unhappy and dysfunctional, and they try their best to “fix” them. In fact, they’re more of a therapist, then a girlfriend. On the other hand, you may want someone to save you from all of your life’s problems.

Remember, before you jump into a real relationship, it’s crucial that you get rid of all the messy issue in your life. Otherwise, you’re most likely to be attracted to someone who has the same problems as you, and eventually, neither of your lives will be better.

3. You believe a relationship will make you complete

This may sound good in a book or movie, but the reality is another story. Relationships don’t make your life complete, they complement. You should be looking for a partner who will complement you, and make you appear less needy or clingy.

4. You spending too much time looking for love than on your interests

If you want to meet a person that’s right for try becoming more social and active with your interests. Attend social events and gatherings, if you’re thinking of meet the perfect mate, instead of scouring for a partner.

5. Get rid of your baggage

Perhaps you have some emotional baggage from your past relationship, and maybe that’s what making you hard for you to be in a real relationship. Deal honestly and thoroughly with your baggage, and until you do that all of your relationships will be rebounds to get over or stop thinking about your ex.

6. You don’t believe you can true to yourself

Don’t change yourself into someone else because he or she wants you to be. Instead, be sincere and concerned about whether he or she wants you, exactly you are now.

Overall, relationships are about being true to yourself and bringing the best in others. Unless you work on that, it will be hard for you to find someone who wants to be with you and have a relationship with your – for being you.


3 Common Insecurities Men and Women Struggle With While Dating

Regardless of gender, we all have insecurities, but the difference becomes evident when we step into the dating scene. Though men and women have become equal than before when it comes to personal rights and freedom. Sexism is still very much alive. Blatant sexism exposes our nasty and intrusive insecurities among us, making dating pretty stressful in many ways. We explained some of the insecurities below and didn't forget to check out if you’re a victim to any of them.

Insecurity #1 Am I Successful Enough?

Men mostly are struggling from this dating insecurity. The reason is since childhood; boys are taught that having a good job and providing for the family is what constitutes a “real man.” This generalization still exists as most men have admitted that they feel insecure when their dates ask them about their livelihoods. Many men had said that they felt embarrassed when they picked their dates driving an economy or old car, or had dinner dates in inexpensive restaurants. It doesn't matter, how much civilized and modern our society has become, men still want to be providers, especially financially.

Insecurity #2 Am I Slim Enough?

Both men and women feel insecure when it comes to their physical appearances. Men want to be muscular and imposing, while women are told be beautiful and slim. However, women are in much harder positions regarding their bodies than men are. For example, the media constantly talks about women’s weight and while overly ignored weight problems in men. The media always projects an image of women that implies that if you thin and pretty, only then you can be successful to have a career and be in a relationship. The obsession with thinness is so severe that many women have resorted to hard dieting and exercise programs and slimming pills to burn fat and speed up their metabolism. Not only is this disastrous to their bodies, but to their mental health as well.

Insecurity #3 Am I Interesting or Exciting Enough?

This particular insecurity has its root on annoying popularity contents in junior high, high schools and even colleges. We always see this all the time in movies, dramas, and comedies, making it even worse. Popular culture promotes the notion that everything we say on a date should have to be witty, funny and interesting. This insecurity is found in men and women, who aren’t active and or don’t do a lot of extracurricular activities, which in theory makes a person appear more dynamic and exciting. Some men and women get intimidated to go on dates as they don't have hobbies or any interests that will keep their dates engaged or have an engaging conversation. It’s true that hobbies make an individual attractive, but in reality, you only need to be as interesting as your date.

The Bottom Line

If you want to feel more secure and confident, just focus on areas that you feel comfortable and possibly make some improvements to it. Focus on things that you can change and don’t overthink about things that you won’t able to. Being action-oriented is the goal you’ll need to accomplish if you start complaining too much about any lacking that you might have. Be nice, and that the only best thing you can when getting back to the dating world.


Be A Gentleman And Learn To Court Her

No matter in which modern age we live, no girl would want to hook up on the first date. Rushing things never turns out well, and it only wastes your chance with her even if it was close. That is because it portrays the person as desperate. Girls, whether today or tomorrow, always prefer the classy and old school way where the guys take some time to court the woman. This article is going to talk about the modern ways of courting a woman.

#1 You need to look within

You need to analyze your own situation first to see what you actually want. If you are still in that party phase where you just want her to accompany you to all the bars and late night jamming sessions, then it is better you hook up straight away. On the other hand, if you are looking for someone you’d want to spend your life with then you need to court her.

#2 Dating and courting are not the same

Dating is the casual type where you are just thinking about some good, temporary relation. Courtship, however, is a long-term planning for those who are thinking about ending up in a marriage. It is a big step and therefore must be done with the fully thought process.

#3 Start off as friends

Since you are up for the courting way, then you need to learn how to take the pressure off. You need to make her comfortable with you, and that will only happen if you initiate the relationship as being friends. Make her used to your personality and get used to her ways. This will build a strong base for later on.

#4 Man pursues the woman

This should be understood well that in every phase it should be the man trying to pursue the woman and not the other way round. This is how nature is meant to be where man courts the woman. If you are expecting her to take the first step, then you should probably just forget about it all.

#5 Court one at a time

We understand that you are eager to find a life partner, but that does not mean you start to explore all your options at the same time. Moreover, courting more than one girl at a time is never going to work. That one girl requires your full attention in order for her to get impressed and start thinking about you. So, it is better if you put all your efforts for one girl.

#6 Don’t make it about sex

Be sure not to make the girl uncomfortable and give her a wrong hint that it is her body which attracts you. It's nice to complement her beauty but make sure it never gets vulgar or gives a wrong hint.

#7 Make her feel like family

This usually starts at the last phase where you are confident about the woman, so you make her meet your family. You give her respect, so she feels that you have started to treat her like a part of your family. This will give her a warm and assuring feeling.

 


Dating Someone Also Means Dating Their Jobs As Well

Let’s face it some people have prestigious and exciting professions. Say, bankers, lawyers, doctors, pilots, firefighters, and so forth. We understand why some individuals are attracted to some professionals over others, but remember one thing, dating someone also means you're also dating their careers. In other words, the professions of your partner will have an effect on your relationship.

How will your relationship be affected if your partner worked for long hours?

It depends on you. If you’re highly independent and maintain a vast social network, you could make your relationship function. But, if you’re a little insecure, then dating someone who works for long hours might not be a good match for you. Prestigious professions have a lot of perks, like high salaries, bonuses, social status and so on, but these jobs also come with lots of responsibilities and require intense and extended working hours.

Individuals with exciting careers can also be difficult to date. Exciting careers and physical dangers come hand in hand. Just think how many time people say goodbye to their partners who work as pilots, firefighters or in the military. They can face any accidents or even death while in duty. If you are in a relationship with someone with a stimulating and exciting job, you need to learn to become insensitive and stop getting worried. If you get anxious or concerned about your partner's profession and whether he or she will be okay on a regular basis, then it’s better for you not to get in a relationship with someone with those jobs. The simple reason is you’ll be spending most of your life worrying if your partner will be okay daily and that’s not something most of us can handle. Most couples don’t realize that at the beginning of the relationship, but when they do it’s already too late.

So, what’s the solution you may ask? The answer is having relationships with someone with similar professions.

When you start dating, your new partner at some point will introduce you to his or her colleagues and their partners. When you’re hanging out with them, ask their partners personally how their relationships are going by dating someone with that profession. Ask their spouses if it bothers them and what kind of things you should be expecting about have a relationship someone in that line of work. Try to visualize how a typical weekend will turn out once you and your partner are in a serious relationship. Ask yourself if you’re okay to date someone who comes home in the evening or at midnight, skips having dinner with you and are too tired to spend some time with you.

So, what’s the takeaway here?

Deep inside, nobody knows you better than yourself. You know best what kind of relationship will satisfy you and make you happy. Sometimes, we get overboard and imagine things and try to trick our minds into believing something that’s not right. It’s for this reason why some relationships fail. So, if you’re considering to date or marrying someone who has an exciting and prestigious profession, remember, besides the benefits, there are sacrifices too.


Trying Too Hard To Find Love? – Here’s What To Do

We always have someone among our friends who always tried hard to find a romantic partner. And it can get quite frustrating is can’t find it. The thing is love is hard to find by sheer will alone, and some people had found love when they least expected it. When we have decided to start a relationship, we take steps to find a partner and do all sort of things. Like we sign up at an online dating site, post attractive profile pictures taken by a professional, and sometimes we can see results instantly.

However, if we are highly focused, it doesn’t take long before things get a little crazy. In short, it becomes counterintuitive. We repeatedly keep checking our emails for any possible matches; overly think about our responses, reading profile of potential suitors and so forth. In the meantime, even if you get to meet someone, you might feel exhausted and send off negative vibes to a potential suitor.

So, here's how you can find love without trying too hard and strike a balance between your patience and intentions.

Be Curious

Most of us become curious and interested when one of our friends’ recalls her dating days to us, without thinking too much about what follows next. If you can manage that level of observation and curiousness about your dating life, then you can easily maintain a balance when looking for love. Say, when you get an email, take a subtle approach while taking a look at it, instead of diving into it in a way that it’s your last chance to find love.

Don’t Put Too Much Emphasis in Any One Thing

It’s okay to get excited when you get a match and start imagining all the fun things you both will do together. But, sometimes, you matches can meet other people. They stop responding to your emails or messages. They can fail to meet your expectations in person. Keep in mind that these dates, events, conversations, connections mean nothing and have no impact on your life. Don’t get discouraged and you’ll find someone better.

Meet Real People

Take some time off the screen and pay attention to the real world. Make new friends; indulge yourself with fun and exciting activities, hang out with friends and go to places familiar with singles. Not only this makes your life active and interesting, but it also gives you something to do and enjoy, while looking for your perfect mate online.

Believe In Your Efforts

Believe in yourself and your efforts if you’re disappointed that it’s taking you a long time to find someone you like. Every night remind yourself of all the things you did that day like, you sent a message to one match, initiated a conversation with a new one, spend time with a friend or signed up for a yoga class and so on. Whether big or small, it’s the effort that counts. So relax and congratulate yourself.

The bottom line we won’t be lying if we said most of us found love in places where we least expected it. When we invest our effort, time and money for something good, good things will happen. You just can’t force it to happen. Sometimes, it simply shows up in unexpected ways and times.


Hate Your Date? Here’s Why…

Many of us overthink and tend to obsess about stuff that could otherwise be relatively straightforward. If you think that you are unsure about whether you like the new person, you’ve been dating for some time, and if you want to continue with the relationship, here’s why:

You Have Obsessive or Neurotic Behavior

People who are obsessive or neurotic are indecisive. They make decisions that they constantly doubt about it, and have the tendency to depend on other people overly. Obsessive men and women when they’re in a relationship are always anxious, overthink and don’t have any real peace in their minds. If you’re facing this problem or know someone who behaves this way, it’s advised they talk to a therapist or take medication that can help them reduce their obsessive traits.

You’re Afraid of Intimacy

Some people are reluctant to be in a committed relationship because they had some bad experiences with their past relationships. They’re afraid of intimacy in the relationship thinking that they might get hurt again. They believe that if they fall in deep love with someone new, and if they break up, they can move on. If your previous relationship didn’t work, emotional intimacy could be undesirable to some. If you aren’t sure if you like someone new enough, then it’s because you’re scared to intimacy. Even though, deep down you love the new person you’re currently dating, but your instincts are telling you to back off.

You Have Unrealistic Expectations

Some people doubt their partners because they have unrealistic expectations about relationships. Relationships are anything, but neat, simple and organized. If you’re looking for the right person to be in a loving, long-term relationship, you’ve to leave the fantasy world or all the traits you think you need to see in your future wife or husband. Just focus on the real world with the real person across the table. Talk easily and naturally with the person sitting in front of you during your first dinner date like you’ve known each other for a long time. If you still have doubt, whether if he or she is right for you, then make a decision about how you feel about that individual, not what you think about that person.

If you feel good with your new date and find that things are going nice and smooth, there is little chance you’re overthinking about your date.

You Have a Penchant to Self-Punish

If you believe that the new person you like isn’t right for you, then you might consider if you have a tendency for punishing yourself by not allowing yourself to feel good and relax about your new relationship. If you have a penchant of criticizing yourself and it’s better for you not to get involved in a relationship. Until you give yourself a chance to be joyful in a relationship.

The bottom line is when it comes to relationships; overthinking things will only make it worse and prevent you from being happy and content. Try to break away from this habit, distract yourself from it and focus all of that positive mental energy to make yourself relax and happy.


Like Me, Like Me Not? Signs A Guy Wants To Date You

The early stages of seeing someone can be very exciting and impressive. Meeting up, happy, nervous, butterflies in the stomach each time the phone beeps and it is him. But after some time it starts making you confused that whether it is going to be a casual hook up or the person really wants to take you out on a date.

It is always a better choice to go slow in the start. But time may come when you feel like that you are falling for that person, but you are still unsure about what the other person feels about it. You have to figure it out to make your mind clear that either you need to get serious about the relationship or to let go of it. Below are the signs that a guy signal when he wants to make it official.

He is always getting in touch with you

If a guy calls or texts you a lot, then it is a clear signal that he is getting serious about you. There is a big difference between the guy who calls you after midnight just to hook up and the other one who calls you during the daytime to know that how is the day going so far.

He is interested in you

If a guy is interested in you, he wants to know more about you. He will ask questions about your friends, family and things that interests you, and if he genuinely listens to your answers very carefully, then this signifies that he wants to have a better and complete know how about you so as to check the compatibility between you two.

He has only got his eyes on you

A guy who is just flirting around will have his eyes on other women as well. You can notice his wandering eyes when he is with you.  A person who is interested cannot take his eyes off you.

He will introduce you to his friends

A guy who wants to continue a healthy relationship with you will decently introduce you to his friends which simply defines that he is seeking approval from his buddies.

He wants you to meet his family

Now this is a serious move! If a guy is interested in dating you, then he will introduce you to his family. Introducing to his family also depicts that he is thinking something way beyond a casual dating.

He gets a bit nervous

A person who has always been relaxed and confident around you, all of a sudden he seems confused and nervous then this is a green signal that is preparing himself to ask you out officially.

He is open to you

If a guy is interested in you, he will start becoming open to you and share every thought and feelings with you. He will be telling you about the stuff which you know he has never said about it to anyone.

The next time you want to make yourself clear about the feelings of the guy you already have fallen for then check out the list mentioned above to seek for the right indicator.

 


Signs That Indicate The Guy You Are With Deserves Your Trust

Relationships are built on trust. Without trust, in a relationship, it is tough to make quickly love. And without love, relationships will fail to groom and flourish.

Undoubtedly trust is the key ingredient of a successful relationship. However, you cannot give your trust immediately to the guy you are dating. Trustworthiness represents maturity and trust is something that should not be readily available to every guy you date especially when it comes to young men as they are not developed up to that level. Still, numerous young men deserve to be trusted and loved deeply.

So, how will you know that a guy is trustworthy or not? Well following mentioned ways can be considered to find out that whether the guy is going to treasure your trust or you will be left broken apart.

He is always willing to communicate with you

The man who is trustworthy will never mind if you load him with multiple questions. He will never hesitate to answer you as he will not be hiding anything from you. On the other hand, a guy who is just playing games around will try to ignore you when you try to communicate or ask several questions about him.

He can look into your eyes

Eyes have its way of expressing emotions. The guy who is honest and trustworthy will look straight into your eyes as he has nothing to hide. The person with shifty and paranoid gaze is definitely not worth trusting.

He can let his guard down

If a guy is comfortable with you, he will share everything with you to the deepest level. Not only he trusts you, but he will also do his level best to gain your trust as well.

He is always flirting with other girls

If he is flirting around with other girls, then this means that he is not making the maximum of his investment with you in the relationship. Flirting around does not mean that he is not trustworthy, but it says that he has still not reached the stage where he is capable of understanding the real worth of your trust.

He seems interested in your life

Well, being interested is one important signal. If he gets emotionally involved in you and he seems interested in everything related to you, then he is definitely the guy who is falling for you and deserves your trust.

He doesn’t freak out if you touch his phone

The best way to check your boyfriend is just to pick up his phone. If he becomes defensive or paranoid, then there must be something wrong. Otherwise, a person who has nothing to hide will stay calm and relaxed.

You experience a gradual increase in the comfort level

The more you spent time with a person, the more you start feeling comfortable and more you can trust that person. So, when the time span spent with your boyfriend increases and he has done nothing to halt the comfort level between you two then definitely he is trustworthy.

There are a lot more tactics that can be implemented to figure out that whether your boyfriend is trustworthy or not. The more you practice the pointers mentioned above, the more easily you can read people.