Category Archives: Dating

Will Your Relationship Suffer If You Snoop on the Person Your Dating?

Being curious about someone you just met and interested to have a relationship with is natural. We use all means at our disposal including the internet to know more about the person we are seeing. But, all these snooping without our partners’ knowledge affect our chances of developing a loving and healthy relationship?

Well, here are some questions you need to think long and hard before you decide to snoop on your partner:

1. Why do I feel the need to snoop? You can reveal a lot about yourself and the other person by your intentions and motivations. We understand that you want to be extra cautious about not getting hurt again like you did in the past because of your partner’s dishonesty and disloyalty. Or it might be that your intuition is nagging you that the person you’re currently seeing is exactly the person he/she purports to be. Or, it’s maybe that you’re simply nosy. Answering all ‘why’ questions will give you an insight about yourself and your intentions regarding the relationship.

2. Will I accept the fact if someone snooped on me? You most likely won’t care if your new love interest looks into your life in a certain way. It’s none of his or her business, at least not at this stage of the relationship. Don’t snoop on other people the same way you won’t like someone to be snooping on you.

3. Does my investigation break any boundaries? If you want to have a loving, healthy relationship, boundaries must be maintained, respect should be given, and honesty should be present. You should understand where the boundaries are between suspicious prying and sensible collection of information about the person you’re currently dating. Now, honor the boundaries.

4. Can I spend my energy on something more productive than snooping? If you’re snooping on your partner just because of the sheer thrill you get from it, remember that it takes a lot of effort to keep your secretive action concealed from your spouse. What’s more important is that energy could be better utilized and enjoyed if you just have an open and honest conversation with your partner to know more about them.

5. Am I snooping on my partner because I want to avoid starting a potentially uncomfortable conversation and feeling vulnerable? If you’re unsure and suspicious about something, you ought to investigate to find more information. But, ask yourself, wouldn’t things be much helpful if you just brought up the topics in an open and gentle way and have a dialogue with your partner? It’s true that snooping is a simple solution to find more about your spouse, rather than doing all the hard work to have an honest conversation with him or her. If you realize that him spending long hours in the office at night, or her having dinner with her ex, makes you feel vulnerable, then you should have to address these issues. They are necessary discussions you need to have together to build trust, loyalty and diffuse any threats in your relationship.

A healthy relationship is built on commitment, honesty, openness, trust and emotional intimacy. If you’re looking for someone or dating someone new, it’s difficult to control these qualities in the other person, but you can do your best to maintain these essential qualities.


How to Deal With Anxiety on Dates is Easier Than You Think

Many men and women said that they feel anxious and worried on their dates; especially the first dates are pretty precarious. Some might feel the urge to skip or avoid dating altogether and settle with someone who isn’t right for them. But, there is a silver lining here. If you push yourself to go as many dates as possible, and learn from the experiences, manage expectations and deal with a few bad dates to meet your Mr. or Ms. Perfect, it’s highly likely that you’ll become less nervous and more confident dater.

There’s even more good news. Many people said that they feel the most anxious on first dates right before the moments of meeting their dates. It’s very likely you’re feeling this way because you’re rife with panic or worry, but when you meet your date and start having a conversation, most of these feelings will diminish. Also, think of the fact, the frequently you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll get, and your worries will dissipate too. Your excitement to find love and fall in love with one of your dates will make you more comfortable with dating.

Here five healthy ways that will be helpful to manage your anxiety on first dates, or any dates, and create a genuine connection in spite of your nervousness:

1. Remind yourself that you’re overcoming your fears and worries while on your date. Despite your mind telling to skip it, you eventually made it to the date anyways. Think of this feat as an achievement, and an example for yourself that you can accomplish anything if you just let go of your fears and anxiety. When you think an anxious thought has popped into your head and is holding you back, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths. Then tell yourself, ‘I am not afraid, nothing can hold me back, and I am going to the date’.

2. Maintain an open attitude and right level of curiosity about your date the whole the dating experience. Focus on learning more about the other persons by asking questions and being attentive. Curiosity spurs excitement into new experiences and makes it rewarding while freeing yours from negative and anxious thoughts.

3. Humor and laughter lighten and boosts people’s moods. It can quickly dismiss anxiety and awkward silence from any dates. This is particularly handy if your date is nervous too.

4. Stay in the present, and don’t worry too much about what will happen next. Let pass of all the assumptions, fears and judgments that are on your mind. Just focus what is going on now, what your date is saying and how you feel about the whole experience, instead of what going on your head.

5. Don’t be perfect. Don’t even attempt to be. Striving for perfection will only make your more anxious. It’s futile to attempt for humans to attain perfection. Return to the reality and aim to be successful and be the best of yourself.

The bottom line is the more you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll be on your future encounters, and better the chance of you meeting the right partner.


How to Spot a Toxic Person in a Relationship

Let’s begin with the good news; there are plenty of kind-hearted, generous, well-balanced and honest individuals in this world. Now, here’s the bad news; there are a lot of folks who are less emotionally capable, healthy, manipulative, dishonest, cheat and selfish. While searching for a man or woman, you should stay far away from these people.

So, how can you spot a person, who won’t be toxic for the relationship? Here are twelve signs you need to keep an eye on:

1. He/she talks more than necessary and listens way too little. He/she dominates the conversation, which is mostly a sign of self-centeredness, insecurity, and narcissism.

2. He/she always needs to be right all the time, no matter what. It doesn’t if the topic is small or big, this baneful person will downright discard any different opinions, and will turn a light weighted discussion into a serious debate in which they must win.

3. These people don’t seem to embrace the concept of being truthful and honest is the best policy. It’s not a high priority for them. Be careful getting involved romantically with people, who sugarcoat utter lies with little specs of truth or real facts.

4. He/she shows signs of being dependent or addiction. If left unaddressed, their compulsive behaviors including drugs, gambling, pornography, alcoholism, and other issues will engulf them fully and in the process will destroy many aspects of their life, including your relationship.

5. He/she shows signs of desperation. Emotionally healthy men and women will be eager and excited to meet you and get to know you as an individual. He/she will not be overly anxious about getting into a romantic relationship because of loneliness.

6. His/her conversation is coated with sarcasm. No matter what you do, most of the times you’re the target of derogatory comments combined with crude humor. Even if you aren’t the target, he/she lacks empathy and needs to prove his superiority in the relationship.

7. He/she treats ‘common or everyday folks’ poorly. They are rude and sensitive towards maids, dry-cleaners, waiters, taxi drivers, etc. This type of behavior exposes their arrogance.

8. He/she loves to gossip. Talking ill or bashing other people reputation and honor serves no purpose other than burnishing your own.

9. He/she gives mixed answers to straight questions. You get evasive responses or contradictions, and it’s like straight answers are in short supply. These people also have secrets and always hesitant to share their inner feelings, thoughts and secrets.

10. He/she always bashes the ex. No one is interested in listening to all of your endless details about exes and your past relationships. Dwelling in the past is a deal breaker in dates. So, get over it and move on.

11. The person is controlling. He/she likes to be in control and wants to control you. If anyone forces you to think and act to someone else’s wishes, instead of your own, pack your bags and leave.

12. The person doesn’t like to take responsibility. Whenever any problem arises in the relationship; it’s someone else’s fault. He/she blames their partners, parents, friends, and even the government. This behavior reveals a lack of personal responsibility and accountability.

If you’re dating someone or looking for someone to be your romantic partner, keep an eye for these above red flags, as it can be detrimental to the relationship.


Five Signs You’re Suffering Exhaustion In Your Relationship

Typically most of us are acquainted with the term ‘exhaustion.' Burnout happens when you’re working too hard for the results that are being produced. Exhaustion can also be seen in a relationship. When we feel burned out, we lose enjoyment, frustrated, and depressed. If we’re working too hard to make our relationship work and it still fails, we become upset and begin to think that being single would have been better than staying in a dysfunctional and unhappy relationship.

So, how can we tell that we’re tired and burned out in our relationship? Here are five ways to explain it:

1. You start to resent dating. Some people after a breakup get all prepped up to get into the dating, while other seem disinterested or indifferent to dating. These are all somewhat positive indications of wanting to be single again. But, if you’ve decided not to date for a significant period after a breakup or a divorce, it points that you’re tired of being in relationships.

2. You don’t have much enjoyment while meeting potential partners. Most men and women find looking for a date as a stressful activity, but about when you’re meeting one or dating someone you met at work or introduced by a friend? If you feel less excited about these prospects, then we can conclude that you won’t get over your relationship exhaustion anytime soon.

3. Your emotional energy is almost empty. Most folks are depressed and feel exhausted after a breakup or after a final divorce proceeding. There another consequence of a relationship burnout – the lack of emotional energy. If you’ve depleted all of your emotional energy, you won’t feel any emotional reaction even in simple things such as jokes and laughter.

4. You remember only the bad moments. Usually, whenever someone leaves a job and found an opportunity or excited to pursue their passion, they keep reminiscing all the good and bad times about their past jobs holistically. If someone feels grateful to quit a bad job or a relationship, they will only remember all the bad and stressful times they had during that period. You can only recall the fights and arguments with your ex, rather than reminiscing all the good time you both during the early days of the relationship that brought you close to each other.

5. You feel pessimistic or cynical about love. You don’t get into a new relationship because you think sooner or later it will fail. You always think of people who are in love or relationships as fools. You always keep telling bad things about the concept of love and relationship like lies, illusions, etc. If this is all you can think about love, then it’s an unfortunate outcome of relationship exhaustion.

To make this critical period of your life easier and get over it, try to understand what lessons you've learned from your previous relationship so that you can heal and prepare yourself for your next relationship. Even you meet someone interesting, and he or she likes to date you, be straightforward with and tell them you aren’t interested at the moment. If you’ve lost your spark, try to cultivate it again by focusing your interest and passion in other parts of your life.


How to Find out if You’re Dating an Emotionally Unstable Person

A romantic partner should be willing and emotionally available to have a relationship with you. If he or she is unavailable or is unable to connect to their partners emotionally, then this isn’t the person you should keep dating.

Men and women, sometimes, confusingly get attracted to unavailable, commitment-deficient people, because they find it hard to ignore the strong emotional or sexual chemistry involved in it. The attraction can be so alluring and rare that, many mistakes it for intensity rather than intimacy. You make compromises that you won’t consider under normal circumstances to give the relationship a chance. Nonetheless, whether you have or don’t have a connection, you should think carefully to determine if the person you’re interested at if capable of intimacy or emotionally available.

For a relationship to be healthy there must be a connection between two people. Even if your intuition convinces you that there is a connection, things can still go unrealized. Just because the person you date felt like a soul mate during the initial days of dating, doesn’t mean that he or she is going to be your soul mate forever. No matter, how mind-blowing or amazing your soul mate is, there is no guarantee that he or she will feel the same emotional connection with you. You can fall in love with someone who is totally not right for you. Sometimes, reality can be very unfair and perplexing.

Don’t put your love life on hold, just because you can’t be with someone you desire. Love that is destined for you will be realized one day. So, how can you prevent yourself from romantically getting entangled in delusional relationships, when you realize that the person isn’t that one you expected?

For starters, here are ten red flags of emotionally unavailable people to keep an eye for:

      1. They’re already in a relationship or married to someone else.

 

      2. They’re emotionally repellent, closed off and can’t cope with conflict.

 

      3. They’re primarily interested in sex, and not interested to be connected with someone emotionally or spiritually.

 

      4. Most emotionally unavailable individuals are chronic alcoholics, drug or sex addicts.

 

      5. They’re interested in long-distance relationships, texting and emailing.

 

      6. They don’t like to introduce you to their family and friends.

 

      7. They’re sneaky, deceptive, tired or frequently working. They disappear without any notice for weeks or months.

 

      8. Most of them are narcissists. They’re only thoughtful about their wants and needs, not you or others.

 

      9. They’re seductive when you’re around, but don’t make any solid promises. Also, their words and behavior don’t align most of the time.

 

    10. Unavailable men and women trick you that they can be romantic and emotionally loving when you get close to them, they withdraw.

At first, some of these signs might be more evident or tricky than others. It’s common as we tend to be at our best during the honeymoon stages of a romantic relationship. Over time, your partner's real personality will emerge. If you desire a truly loving, intimate, emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship, avoid being involved with someone who is incapable of reciprocating your emotions and feelings.


7 Things For Single Parents To Remember When Dating

Dating is hard, and it can get even more difficult if you’re a parent, while your kid or kids watch your every move. All of sudden your love life get tangled up with integrity, morals, and values that you’ve established for your kids.

Children learn from their parents, and when single parents go on dates, they’re showing their kids how to date, what kind of man or a woman should you date, is sex before marriage is right or not, and so forth. It’s not uncommon for kids to ask their single parents about a man in the bathroom, or why a lady is sleeping in their father’s bed in the morning. They will ask if you like him or her, or whether if you’re thinking to get married to that man or woman. Your kids might also pass out judgments or opinions about your dates like, ‘he’s too old, or she’s not pretty,' etc.

It can be stressful and overwhelming for some single parents, to give reasonable answers to questions like these, but there is a solution. Below are some tips that will be helpful for single parents who have decided to start a new relationship:

1. Ask yourself – how important are your children in your life? Some single parents will say they love them very much, while others give a more mature and serious answer like, “They love them so much that they’ll stop dating or won’t be in a relationship for a few years.” We aren’t telling that every single parent should follow this advice, but your kids’ future must be your top priority.

2. If you got divorced, keep in mind that your children still loves their mom or dad. They probably don’t want their mother or father gets replaced by a new man or a woman, or how much you love him or her.

3. It is better that you don’t introduce your kids to every new man or woman you’re dating. This will make them confused and create a negative impression about you.

4. Date someone who already has children. This will erase any complications in future with a potential partner who isn't ready or committed to be in a relationship or get married to someone with children.

5. Don’t allow your dates to roam in your room or house half-naked during the early morning so that your kids don't see him or her.

6. Some people just suck at being good parents. The more you get to know your date; you’ll be able to see that. Great dates don’t always make great parents.

7. Keep everything low key, when you realize that your relationship has turned serious, and you want to introduce your date to your kids. A trip to the zoo or a picnic is a great way to get your kids acquainted with your date, especially if they’re young. Things are different and harder when your children are older. In that situation, bring all the kids, particularly the older ones, into the discussion and ask them to express their feelings of this new person. Tell them you to want him or her to be part of the family and how they feel about that.

Being parents while dating can be difficult. But, if you follow the above advice finding someone new and having a relationship, and being a happy and responsible parent will be much easier.


12 Reasons Having a Sense of Humor Makes You Attractive and Desirable

While looking for a partner most men and women say they want their partners to be fun to hang out with. What they're trying to mean is that they want their matches to have a sense of humor. But, did it ever occur to know why exactly having this quality makes a person attractive and desirable? Here are twelve reasons for that:

1. Fun projects a unique perspective on life and tells about a person’s attitude and outlook towards life. It makes you appear upbeat and positive.

2. Flirting is the first step towards starting a relationship, and being funny is one of the best flirting strategies around. If you want to make a woman get in bed with you, make her laugh!

3. Having a sense of humor will conceal your personal weaknesses. If one of those men or women, who are told as average or below average in some way, being funny and able to make people smile and laugh will compensate for it. Besides, it’s sexy too!

4. A great sense of humor reveals your good heart and intentions. Given that most of the today’s humor is based on cynicism and sarcasm, your playful and light-hearted humor will show your kindness.

5. Having a sense of humor indicates that you have a pleasant personality. It means that you have the ability to make and share jokes and other funny moments with others. People who possess an excellent sense of humor are inviting in nature. They invite other people to join them while having fun and encourage them to be playful and active. If you this to your date, he or he will also encourage to do the same to you.

6. Humor is often said to engage people and attract them. It makes other people get interested in you, which is important when going on dates. It also makes people feel at ease. Dates are stressful, so laughing together will diffuse some tension and will make both of you feel relaxed.

7. A great sense of humor shows that you have a sharp mind, quick-witted and bright person. All important if you want to attract a mate.

8. Being vulnerable is important to be in a romantic relationship. Being funny demonstrates your willingness to feel insecure.

9. No one likes to date a person who is unhappy. Having a sense assures that your date that you are a happy person. And of course, happy couples make happy and loving relationships.

10. A good sense of humor shows that your compatibility in an important area. You know that you and your date are at least compatible in one area where you both laugh at the same things.

11. Men and women who have a great sense of humor have the ability to diffuse conflict and arguments in the relationship amicably and efficiently.

12. People, who are funny, usually don’t take themselves very seriously. Humor that is self-deprecating shows your date that you can make fun of yourself too.

One of the essential qualities men and women look while looking for someone to flirt or date, is whether he or she can have fun, make fun and be funny. So, get out there and be funny!


6 First Date Conversation Tips

Dating is already hard enough, and we all know the how to make the best impression on the first date conversation. So, how do you bring the best of you when you’re meeting someone for the first time?

Here are six ways for making the most of a first date conversation, so you can hope to be on a second date with him or her.

1. Don’t talk too much
We tend to over talk, when we get nervous. The more we talk, the less we get to know someone. Typically when we meet someone new, we start by making small talk. But, as we get settled down, we start to get familiar with him or her. Keep your chatting time limited in the first five minutes. Don’t talk about everything that pops in your head, unless it seems interesting and worth sharing.

2. Look at him or her
Don’t look like a creep. Keep your gaze soft, steady and be focused on your date. Looking at your date in this will convey that, you’re interested in him or her. Use your eyes to tell and invoke your date a sense of warmth, and safety.

3. Find out if both of you are on the same page
When meeting your date for the first time, you want to convey your emotional maturity to him or her, which is important to have a committed and long-lasting relationship. Ask questions like, what his or her goals in life are, or what is the most important thing in life is for him or her at the moment, and so forth. This will help you to get you more acquainted with each other.

4. Tell the truth, but maintain boundaries.
Always be honest and never lie, but don’t share too much of your life at the first date. However, it’s okay to talk a little about your past relationships or marriages. Don’t be scared or be honest about sharing your emotional baggage. When talking about your exes, don’t thrash them. It’s very unattractive.

5. Ask them how they feel
Ask your date how they’re feeling about the date. Don’t shy away from asking them about their emotions and feelings, and what made them come on this date. Ask them what motivates them to make important decisions in life, like why did they take teaching as a career or why did they relocate to a new city and so on. Pay attention when they answer you and figure out if the answers are concrete or emotional. For example, if your date becomes emotional when talking about kids, it’s obvious that he or she loves children and want to be around them.

6. Exit the date gracefully
Whether your first date was good or bad, end the date in a graceful manner without offending the other person across the table. Smile, convey “Thank you,” and tell them you enjoyed the date and meeting him or her. The date may have been bad or failed to live up to your expectations, but don’t leave feeling disappointed with yourself or your date.

The first date conversations are hard and can fail to meet your expectations, given that both parties are feeling nervous and don’t know what’s going to happen. However, if you’re meeting someone new for the first time, these tips will help you to make your first date conversation a pleasant experience.


How To Reduce the Pressure of the First Date

Whether you’re 25 or 65, for the majority of people looking for love feel nervous on first dates. It’s a situation where most people think their love is at stake and the chance to a second date is dependent on his or her performance. Feeling stressed out on dates makes you unattractive. Thought, performing under pressure on first dates don’t always make your date love you; it does increase your chances of a second date.

Here are the three most usual first date pressures and how can you address, so that you can give your best on the first date:

The Pressure To Look Good
The pressure to look attractive and desirable is one of the main pressures felt by daters. Most men and women attempt to reduce this pressure by changing their looks via makeup, dresses or hairstyles. Though this might boost your attractiveness for a while, it would have been much more effective, if you have focused on how you feel about yourself. Before going on a date, think about your self-worth, your personality, and your strength. Be confident and maintain a positive attitude, and you’ll appear more attractive and fun to others.

The Pressure To Find A Date Place
If you want to have a good experience with your potential partner, take some time and consideration while selecting a place for the date. Making decisions hastily and under pressure are usually bad. You can reduce your stress by choosing a place where you can feel empowered and be in control. Don’t be inconsiderate to your date, but invest some time and effort to find a location, that will make both of you feel authentic and relaxed. It will help you and your date to have fun too. Most people try to reduce the pressure to find a place his or her likes to go. You might love the idea to take your date to a hot and expensive restaurant, but the prices of the menu will make you jittery!

The Pressure To Have A Nice Conversation
When it comes to a first date, the pressure to have right and natural conversation is a lot of pressure. Most of us anxious about what topics to discuss or not, what information should I keep a secret, etc. The key here is not to be quiet, silly or bored in the conversation. One way to reduce conversational pressure is by share your feelings and thoughts about the topics you discuss. Expressing your feelings and thoughts is an intimate level of communication, and they add color and uniqueness to the conversation. Besides, it also makes him or her interesting to their respective dates. For example, instead of talking about your job details, express your thoughts and feelings about your job and why you like it. It will make your date tick. Also, encourage your date to share his thoughts and feelings too and stay away from evaluating them. The purpose is to have a first date conversation that will help both of you to feel connected.

First dates are crucial if you want to have a relationship. Naturally, there’s a lot of pressure involved, and the best way to reduce it is to remember that a first date is not a do or die situation. Rather it’s an opportunity to meet someone new and have fun!


12 Reasons You Should Date A First Born Child

There has been research conducted by late psychologist Alfred Adler, who speculated that an individual’s personality, temperament, and habits are significantly shaped by his or her position in the sibling group. Various studies show that the birth order greatly influences a person’s education, career, earning capability and much more. This brings us to the topic of firstborns and whether they make great partners.

Here are 12 reasons you should consider dating a first child. So read on and decide for yourself:

1. Firstborns are intelligent, and they know how to use it. Men and women who are firstborns tend to have a high IQ and reach higher levels of education than their siblings. As they highly and better educated than their siblings, firstborns typically have a high earning potential. In fact, it’s been reported that firstborns make at least $100,000 extra annually than their siblings.

2. Firstborns are the movers and shakers in the family and society. They have a high drive for success, and usually fill most leadership roles and positions in education, business, and the military. Firstborns also have strong leadership abilities. As the oldest child of his or her siblings, these people aren’t scared to face challenges or take charge.

3. If you marry a firstborn, he or she will help you with domestic duties. Why? Because firstborns often are given lots of responsibility by parents like taking care of younger siblings, doing chores, etc.

4. Firstborns are self-motivated. They have immense desire to please and achieve personally and don’t need many external incentives to get going.

5. Firstborns got an early head-start when it comes to spending quality time with his or her. The first child will usually get an approximately 3,000 additional hours from their parents than the next sibling between the ages four to13.

6. Firstborns are confident. As firstborns, they got all the attention from their parents and praises as well. They also have high self-esteem and self-assurance than their siblings as they didn’t have an older sibling to mock or make fun of them.
7.

Firstborns are goal-oriented. Because, they’ve witnessed their parents celebrating their every first milestones.

8. If you’re dating a firstborn, you might be dating the next president or a future astronaut. 64 percent of all U.S. presidents are firstborns. Meanwhile, among 23 of American astronauts who went to space.

9. 21 of them were firstborns, while the remaining two astronauts were the only child of their parents. Also, all seven astronauts were firstborns in the original Mercury program.

10. Usually, firstborns are seen as responsible and reliable. They have developed and honed these qualities by taking care of their younger brothers and sisters, and have taken up grown-up skills and tasks early on.

11. Firstborns always strive to become role models. As the leader of his or her sibling group, all younger siblings look at them as examples school, home, and work.

12. Firstborns are typically thinner and taller than the rest of his or her siblings. So, if you guys looking for a lady with a slender physique, and all you ladies, who have soft corners for tall guys, now you know whom to date!