Category Archives: Dating

Proven Effective Dating Advice for Men Over 40

There will come a time in a man’s life when everything he has worked and settled for will be turned upside down. It is really not possible for every man to be happy and settled before they reach middle age. Some men are lucky enough to find their soul mates and grow old with them. But sadly, more men are not that lucky.

The divorce rates should prove that there are more men finding themselves single again (maybe even for the second and third time) when they reach their 40s or 50s. It is really frustrating to find oneself thinking and wondering what went wrong; and a lot more depressing finding yourself looking for someone new to be with.

The Need to Have a Partner

Humans have this perpetual need to be loved, cared for and have company. It is simply impossible to live alone for the rest of your life, especially so if you have been used to spending every day and every night with a long time partner.

For a man, who suddenly discovered he’s alone after being with someone for many years, the loneliness can be overwhelming and usually the best route to take is to go back to the dating game. If you happen to be in this situation and you are clueless how to go back on that road, you are going to need to do some serious considerations and effective dating advice for men over 40 could really help you out.

If you have good friends that you really trust, it would be a good idea to ask them for relationship advice for guys. But you have to make sure that you confide in friends that are doing well at their own relationships. It would be a total waste of time if you ask advice from someone who’s also single or in a messy affair.

Sometimes, one of the most common problems men over 40 encounter when trying to go back to dating is that they have lost their confidence. They think they have lost what it takes to date women. They are unsure about how to go about it. After all, they have probably thought they were really done with the flirting game when they got married and had their families. It is therefore essential to get a few useful flirting tips for men.

As mentioned, you can ask your friends about some tips or techniques to ask a woman out on a date. Also, you may have to re-learn the ropes of the dating activity itself. One good dating advice for men over 40 is to try to be as natural as possible. Remember that the techniques that worked for you before may not be as effective now. You are older, thus you should be doing subtler moves. Try not to be too excited, even if you are really shaking with anxiousness, apprehension and exhilaration. It is understood that you will be thrilled with the thought of a woman finding you attractive enough to agree to go out with you.

Some of your friends could give you good advice and tips while others may feel the need to joke about your situation and you shouldn’t feel disturbed or annoyed about that. You have to understand that it is better to look at every situation with a bit of humor. So, if they give you a few tips on dating rich women, just respond with a smile and a witty retort, like you have already thought about it.

You have to keep in mind that dating is a phase that you need to go through if you do not want to end up alone for the rest of your life. Though it is easy to get laid without dating a woman; it is not recommended to go for one-night stands if you are seriously thinking of settling down [again] for good.

Another effective dating advice for men over 40 is to avoid being too naughty. A hint of naughtiness along with being a gentleman is just fine. Every woman, after all, is secretly wishing to date a bad boy. But try to act your age. It wouldn’t be a good idea to act like the naughty trouble maker young girls go for, especially since you will not be dating teenagers.

Speaking of young girls, one important advice for men over 40 who are trying their lucks at dating is to avoid getting entangled with women who are a bit younger than they are. If the woman you are attracted to is almost or as old as one of your kids, look the other way. Though May-December love affairs look good in the movies, you have to understand that there are more disadvantages to it than the advantages. You have to really think about the age gap. It can be fun and exciting at first, but once the gap gets in the way, it will be difficult to really make the relationship work. In the end, you will remain single and searching again, and the woman will be devastated. Thus, try to stick with women your age. That way, you are sure of shared interests and easy communication.

And when it comes to communication, it would be better to talk as naturally as you can. Avoid pick-up lines delivery. Though these canned lines are funny, they may not sound nice coming from a middle-aged man like you. But, if you know the woman well, and you two have been connected for a while (like if she’s a work colleague or a family friend) saying a few pick-ups may be alright. Then again, try to be cool and a bit formal at all times.

One final dating advice for men over 40, you may want to find someone to date from the Internet. There are many dating sites that cater to mature people and you can surely find one that you are looking for. One important advice for online dating is to make sure that you keep your search locally. Though overseas relationships can sometimes work, the distance may be a big hurdle.


Learn the New Dating Tips for Guys

Learning about dating tips for guys is a good thing especially if you haven’t been on the dating scene for a while. This is also a good start if you are new to dating online. Yes, online dating is the trend. This allows people to meet new people in such a way that they may not be able to do so in real life.

Why Consider Online Dating

There are many reasons why you should consider online dating. One such reason is that this is a good platform especially if you are finding it hard to meet people or ask women out in real life. Sometimes, men find it more comfortable talking to strangers online than talking to random people they meet for real. When you are talking behind your computer or mobile device, you can be whoever you want to be. You can set aside your shyness and be a bit more confident. In the long run, the confidence you develop through online communication can be turn into real self-confidence that you can use in your everyday life.

One effective advice for online dating is getting ready for meeting the other person. Whether through the webcam or for real, it is important that you are really ready to meet and be met. This means you should make yourself look presentable and you should make yourself ready to accept whatever you are about to see.

This is very important especially if you are meeting the other person for the first time. You may have exchanged pictures online and you may feel like you really know what the other person looks like. But it is important to understand that pictures can be edited and the person you are chatting with may not really look the same in real life as she was in the pictures she shared with you. So, be ready for a few disappointments. Looks wouldn’t matter anyway if you can feel a good connection with that person.

An online dating advice for guys that you should always keep in mind is that the people you will meet online could be as lonely as you, but may be not as desperate. So, in case you are desperate, try not to make it too obvious. Keep in mind that there are still more single women than single men. And this is also true online.

The old tips may still be useful, but there are new dating tips for guys that you may want to follow. For instance, old dating tips tell men to check women out. Modern times reversed some things and women are checking out men now. This means that you have to be conscious of the image you are portraying in real life or online. Also, when meeting your date, be a little more aware about the way you are going to dress up.

Technological developments have also given birth to smartphones and mobile dating apps. This means that online dating is actually mobile dating now. You do not have to be in front of your PC in order to chat with your online partner. All you need is your mobile device and you can text each other through the mobile app.

Due to these advancements, many people have found it easier to get dates and be in relationships. If you are new to this kind of dating scene, it would be a good idea to be always ready. There is always a chance that the woman you are chatting with will ask to meet you for lunch or coffee in case you both live within the same city. Thus, it would be advisable to keep an extra shirt in your car or in your office locker.

Modern dating is also all about the art of flirting. Gone are the days when women try to avoid being too flirty. Today they can initiate the flirtation. One of the most effective flirting tips for men is to just follow the woman’s lead. You should make her feel like she’s really the one pulling the strings. Let her lead and try not to be too forward. Some women may be flirty but they may also have some reservations and limitations. So, just take it slow and eventually, you will know if the woman is really into you or just playing around.

If you think that you really need to be update about the new dating tips for guys, all you actually need to do is to keep an open mind. There is no single tip that can really make you successful. You may have to consider following three or more tips before you meet the right woman.

The trick here is to never surrender. If you are lonely and looking for someone to talk to, online dating is a good option. Try not to focus too much on finding your ideal mate. It would be best to enjoy the whole experience. Remember that it may take a few tries before you really end up meeting your soul mate. Until then, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of building up friendships.

Just like you, other men and women online are just lonely individuals and thus, they also just want to have people they can talk to. One of the most exciting dating tips for guys is to try joining chat rooms. Although one-on-one or private chats are always better and more personal, more people at the same time will give you the chance to build up your self confidence.

Talking to random people is a good way to learn about different cultures. It will also give you that chance to share some of your unique characteristics to other people. There are many chat rooms that you can join at, just make sure that you will only join those that you can be comfortable with.

The internet is also full of dating sites and chat rooms that are designed for adult or sexual contents and if you are not into that stuff, it would be better not to try them. Remember that you shouldn’t compromise your values in the name of online dating.


Dating Without Drama – 3 Things To Attract A Lady Before Even Introducing Yourself

dating without dramaDid you know that you could be refused by a lady before even getting to say a single word? A woman can decide whether or not she is attracted to you before you can say your magic line. However, this is not necessarily a decision, but an actual feeling. Practically, she feels if she is attracted to you before introducing yourself. At this point, knowing how to draw the attention before opening your mouth is an important relationship advice for guys. You like dating without drama, but make sure that this drama does not actually go in your direction or you might regret it later.

The same rule applies to you as well. You do not have to talk to a woman and get to know her in order to determine if you like her. You feel attracted by the way she looks and the way she moves. In fact, you can even see a picture of her over social media or have her pass by you on the street in order to feel the attraction. Most men assume that it is normal for them, yet they do not expect the same from women. So why are 99.9% of all men trying to find the magic lines then? This is one of the best dating questions. She can feel something without having you say anything.

You do not have to be a genius to understand this aspect. Think about it for a minute and try to determine if it makes sense to you. If you manage to understand the human construction and brain attraction, chances are you will end up dating a beautiful woman or becoming successful a lot faster. So how can you transform this idea into a superpower? There are a few general things to think about before thinking about your lines. Focus on these things and you will draw some attention without even knowing your target.

The body language describes the way you move. Different men walk in different ways. Make it natural, but attractive. If your natural walking way looks stupid, work on it, but try to make it natural. Other than that, your posture is just as important when talking to people. You can be happy or you can get a black cloud over your head. All these things describe you in front of a woman, so she can make a decision without having to talk to you. If you want to, you can count body language among the factors that build the first impression.

There are plenty of ideas, materials and books about this topic. Some of them are good, while others are worthless. There is, however, one simple thing to pay attention to when interested in boosting your body language. Is this how a successful man behaves and walks? You can probably find a lot of useful role models around you or in the media. Some men simply have plenty of women in their lives. Learn from them and steal their style. Keep in mind that this is probably the quickest way you can improve yourself, as well as one of the most significant considerations in your relationship with women.

You simply cannot get over body language if you want women in your life. It can make or break a deal. It can make you attractive or it can make you completely useless.

On a different note, making eye contact is just as important. When dating without drama, you better start things naturally. Plan everything from the first step or you might regret it later. To a lot of women, eyes represent the door to your soul. Women do care about the soul, so you better introduce your target to it. The way you use your eyes and your view can amplify the game and put you in front of your competition. Women love being admired and looked at. This is no longer a secret. Ladies also like to be admired naked, but then, not every man has the power to look at a woman as if she was already naked.

You got two eyes, so use them wisely before you go old and need glasses. Eye contact underlines confidence. A lady wants to see that you are not afraid or embarrassed to watch her, regardless of how challenging her clothes are. After all, why do you think women often dress in a provocative manner? They want to be looked at and admired, so give them what they want. If you cannot maintain your view and you fail to make eye contact when she is dressed, what will you do if she ends up naked in front of you? Always use your confidence and look around at the women you meet if interested in dating without drama. Train this superpower everyday. In other words, open your eyes before opening your mouth.

Do not forget about touching either. You do want to touch a woman, so why would not you start early? This is the best love advice for men. The power to touch people is yet another superpower that only real men have. It makes no difference if your targets are men or women. At this level, you do not have to be sensual while touching people. Just touch a shoulder when pointing an idea or annoying a friend. This is definitely a good start, but also a solid training technique.

When it comes to a lady, you indirectly tell her that you are not afraid to touch her. She will interpret this idea differently – if you are not afraid to touch her, you are clearly not afraid to sleep with her either. Therefore, when dating without drama, just start touching people more often. Start tomorrow!

Becoming better at these things – body language, eye contact and touch – will give you the opportunity to draw positive attention. Women will be more receptive when finding themselves around you. If you also have some good lines in your pocket, you are on the right path.


Dating Tips For Shy Guys Who Has Not Yet Married

dating tips for shy guysThere are men who are too busy working for success that they forget about getting married and having children. There are also men who have really low self-esteem that they have not dated due to fear of rejection. If you are one of these men, you are probably still single and never been married even if you are already over 40. Hopefully though, you are not still a virgin too. If you are, then you have a bigger problem.

Anyway, since the topic is on dating tips for shy guys, it is better to focus on that and see what you can get from a few love advice for men.

Jumping on the Dating Wagon

If you have not been dating for a while, getting back on this road may be a bit awkward, if not totally nerve-wrecking. There is of course, a misconception that men of any age are always so sure about themselves especially when it comes to dating.

Probably, one of the best relationship advice is to not to try too hard in getting into one. If are already in your 40s and you are still finding it hard to have someone on a permanent basis, chances are you are too obsessed with the idea of a relationship that you have forgotten to consider some important factors.

One thing that you should think about is yourself. Sometimes men get too focused on trying to impress women that they tend to end up being someone that they are not. Simply put, do not be another person just so you can please another. This is also a common issue with women looking for love or relationship. And for both men and women over 40, this seems to be turning into a norm. They think that they are still single because no one can really love them for who they are, thus they try to change. This is a good thing if you are trying to change your bad habits and making a better person out of the old you. But if you are trying to change because you are thinking that it could be the best way to attract the opposite sex, then you are doing it for the wrong reason. You should keep thinking that you are good enough and there are other reasons why you are still single and it is not because you are someone that is unlovable.

Some men who have been too busy with their careers usually end up single and they only realize this when they start to see their colleagues showing pictures of their children or even their grandchildren. Sometimes attending weddings can be a wake-up call too.

If you have been asked to be a best man for too many times or if you have been a best man twice for a friend, then you are really being left behind. It is probably time for you to be the groom, or to at least be in a relationship so you can bring a date to one of the weddings.

There may be some people claiming that they have the most effective marriage help for men. The truth though is, there is really no one who can help you get married but yourself. Some people may introduce you to a few women and you may find someone really interesting enough. But it will be up to you if you are going to pursue or stop.

You have to keep in mind that listening to dating tips for shy guys is alright, it is also a good idea to try a few tips as long as you are not hurting anyone. For instance, it would be ideal to get interested with a woman who is as single as you are. If you are starting to feel a connection with someone who is already committed to someone else, you should think twice before going after her. You wouldn’t want to destroy a good relationship, right? Even if it means that doing so would get you the woman of your dreams, it would still be better to stay on the safe side.

In case a committed woman shows interest, you should make things clear; either you won’t let things go far or you ask her to finish the affair she’s on first before you and her can have a relationship. If you have been single all this time, it would be great if you can finally be with someone that you will be with for the rest of your life. After all, you could be trying for your last chance at love.

Some men have problems meeting women and that is a reason why they stay single. There are men who can easily take home a girl from a bar, while there are a few who cannot even say hi to a woman. If you are too shy and you think that this is the reason for your singleness, it could be a good idea to search for your soul mate online.

One good relationship advice online is to keep your search on a local basis. For instance, you should filter your search or compatibility options for women living within your city or state. It would be hard if you suddenly find yourself falling in love with a woman living in another state or worse if she’s halfway across the globe from you.

An effective dating tips for shy guys is to keep yourself available. If friends ask you to join them for drinks, try to say yes. You need to go out there and mingle if you want to stop being single. There is no better way to meet new people than joining the crowd. Even if you are searching online, you wouldn’t be successful if you wouldn’t go out of your way and search. It is not enough to just register to a site and wait for automatic matches. You should browse other members and see who could be compatible with you.

There are other tips and dating tips for shy guys, and the best thing to keep in mind is that you should look for love and companionship, and not just for physical pleasure. You are not young anymore and you need someone to be with on a more permanent basis.


A Game For Falling In Love: The Love Game

Can a game help us fall in love? You’d be shocked by the results people are getting by playing The Love Game. Initially designed to help people fall in love, it is also a pretty good way to get to know someone on an intimate level that would normally take years to do. Turn your clumsy, exhausting conversation into a life-changing discussion. Get the other person you're playing with to start to fall in love with you, deeper & faster. Find out on the off chance that somebody is or isn't your perfect partner. With this game you can even fall deeper in love with your current partner in ways that you never even imagined.

The idea started out as an app which had an enormous amount of popularity. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg even downloaded the App! But let’s be frank with ourselves, how much of an emotional connection can an app really provide for two people looking to get to know each other better? Only so much. So the creator of the game, Anthony David Adams, put the best 36 questions you could possibly ask onto cards and The Love Game officially started.

The trick to the game is of course how the questions are structured. Couples are forced to answer questions they normally wouldn’t feel comfortable answering, thus becoming more vulnerable. Vulnerability allows individuals to open up, greatly increasing the chances of falling in love. The Love Game Is the perfect catalyst. Need more proof. How about this, the first two people ever to test the game out were co-workers and guess where they are today? They’re married and claim “they have the most intimate relationship you can ask for.”


Don’t be alarmed if you think the game isn’t for you. It has been tested by a variety of couples all in different stages of their relationships. Whether its the first date, or you’re just friends looking to know each other better, or maybe you’ve been in a relationship and you’re just stuck in a rut, The Love Game can only help.


Dating Advice for Men

It doesn’t matter if you are new to dating, have been out of the dating scene for a while, or are just hoping to up your game, pretty much ALL men could use some dating advice. In fact, the men who need dating advice the most are usually the ones who are successfully dating. They get too comfortable with their dating style and fall into ruts of boringness and predictability (which leads to some pretty lackluster relationships!). So, here are some vital pieces of dating advice for men from women.

dating advice for men

The BAD Advice

Before we get into all of the dating advice which will improve your love life, it is absolutely essential to get all of the bad advice out of the way. And there is a LOT of bad advice out there for men!

Bad Dating Advice #1: Sleep with as Many Women as Possible

Apparently, this advice is so you can “get it out of your system” before you settle down with the right girl. Let’s be honest: it is never going to get out of your system (why do you think Viagra is so popular?). All sleeping around will do is increase your chances of getting a venereal disease (condoms don’t protect against everything genital warts and other forms of HPV).

By the way, sleeping around will NOT help you get better in bed. Men improve their lovemaking skills by being with one woman for long enough to learn things like where her g-spot is located and to get comfortable experimenting with new sexual positions.

Bad Dating Advice #2: Wait 3 Days before Calling

I blame the 90s movie Swingers for popularizing the stupid notion that you’ve got to wait a set amount of time before calling a girl. Supposedly, the 3 day rule will make her want you more because it shows you aren’t all that interested. Really, it will just piss her off.

Bad Dating Advice #3: Act Like You Aren’t That Into Her

The “3 Day Rule” for calling falls into this advice. Supposedly, women want what they can’t get. So, if you do things like wait to call her, blow off dates, or insult her (the infamous “neg” used by pickup artists), then she will be more into you.

Actually, this advice does have some truth to it. By acting like you aren’t so into her or insulting her, you prey on her low self esteem, so she might jump into bed with you. I guess that is fine if your goal is to have a one-night stand (read our guide on how to pick up girls). But, if you want to date a woman, this advice is going to hurt you more than help. You’ll just end up with girls who have serious confidence and self-esteem issues!

Bad Dating Advice #4: She’s Out of Your League

When you think about it, this dating advice is either ridiculously sexist or pathetic. It is sexist because it comes from the 1950s-era idea that a man has to be the breadwinner. He would feel emasculated by a woman who makes more money than him! Get over it or you will only be with losers instead of smart, confident and successful women.

Or, maybe you follow this advice because you have terrible self esteem and think that a super hot girl would never be into you. In the unlikely situation that she is interested in you, you’ll always have to worry about other guys hitting on her. Well, this is pretty pathetic! Don’t let your insecurities stop you from dating beautiful women!!!

Bad Dating Advice #5: Don’t Compliment Her

Apparently, you shouldn’t compliment beautiful women because attractive women are so used to getting compliments that it is verboten. The advice goes on to say that, if you do compliment a woman, then you should do it for something which she normally doesn’t get complimented on – like her shoulders or earlobes or something else stupid.

I agree with this advice, but only in the sense that you should never compliment a woman just to get into her pants. If the compliment is genuine (unlike complimenting her earlobes would probably be!), then it will have a positive effect. Oh, and don’t assume that pretty women know how attractive they are! They often don’t realize it and it will make them happy to hear a compliment.

 

 

The Best Dating Advice for Men

Now that we’ve got the bad dating advice out of the way, let’s get into the good advice that every man should be following if he wants to get and keep a woman.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

Too often we hear the advice “be yourself.” This is supposed to mean that you shouldn’t act like a phony, lie, or try to emulate Harrison Ford or some other douche.   But, somewhere along the lines, men translated “be yourself” into “don’t bother putting in any effort.”

Instead of being yourself, you should be the best version of yourself. This means getting out of those sweat pants you wear around the house and putting on a nice suit, taking the time to really groom yourself properly, and being on your best manners.

Also, it is okay to show you care about the date! Acting “nonchalant” by showing up to the date unshaved and without a plan for the evening will not do you any favors.

grooming advice for men

 

GROOMING!

Dousing yourself in cologne does not count as grooming! Neither does taking a shower before your date (though this is part of it). Grooming means that all of your body is going to be appealing for a sexual encounter with a woman. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine was dating a guy and they ended up back at his place. He hadn’t bothered to cut his fingernails, which completely destroyed the foreplay. Obviously it was a big deal since my friend told me about it.

Guys, pay attention to the details. If you expect (or hope) that the date will end sexually, make sure to:

  • Brush and floss
  • Shave (a trimmed beard is okay, but a few days of stubble is going to feel like a porcupine when you kiss a girl!)
  • Shower and use a loofa or other brush to really scrub your body
  • Trim your pubic hair (not absolutely necessary but most women appreciate this)
  • Cut your fingernails and toenails
  • Avoid going overboard with the cologne; one squirt will do it
  • Use lip balm if your lips are chapped
  • Fix your out-of-control eyebrows, and trim nose hair if that’s a problem
  • WASH YOUR HANDS before foreplay begins!!!

 

Work on Your Confidence

Forget about rock hard abs or a bankroll the size of Montana. What women are really attracted to is confidence. Women are even attracted to ugly men, unsuccessful men, and overweight men, so long as they have confidence.

Do whatever it takes to get your confidence up! This can be as simple as talking to more women in social situations (see our post about how to meet women). It can mean joining a gym to get in shape. Consider getting a hobby. Even something as trivial as a joining a weekly hiking group will make your life more interesting and give you something to talk about.

While on the issue of confidence, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT SHE LIKES YOU! If you are in the middle of the date and start having doubts about how things are going, give yourself a pep talk, reminding yourself that she is into you. This will get your confidence up and that confidence will get her interest in you up!

 

Do Your Research before the Date

It might seem okay to “wing it” and see where the evening takes you but, without proper planning, the date will probably take you to a dead end. For example, if fail to make reservations at the nightclub and get turned away by the bouncer.

For first dates, find out some vital information before you plan the date. You wouldn’t want to take her to a steak house only to learn she is a vegetarian! You can straight-out ask her what types of things she likes to do, or which food she likes to eat. Or you can scout for clues on her Facebook profile or by asking her friends.

Always make sure to scout out a venue before you take a girl there on a date. That “cool hipster bar” might actually be a tavern frequented by aging drunks, or the “little bistro” might actually be an upscale restaurant.

dating advice

Don’t Go Anywhere Where You’ll Feel Uncomfortable

You want to impress her by taking her to a poetry reading, but you actually don’t know jack about poetry and being amongst all those turtleneck-wearing poets makes you feel awkward. You want to take her to a fancy restaurant, but you still don’t know how to properly knot a tie.

If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, you will have a hard time relaxing and focusing on your date. When you just start dating, it is generally best to stick to familiar ground for your dates. Forget the swanky new place which opened up. Take her to your local hangout. She will be impressed when the bartender greets you by name and you sit at “your” table.

 

Don’t Ever Talk about Your Ex

The absolute WORST thing you can do on a date is talk about your ex.   Yet, this somehow almost always ends up being a topic of conversation. Talking about your ex is a sign that you aren’t over her yet, and no girl wants to feel like she is in competition with another woman. Plus, I doubt you have a lot of good things to say about your ex, so the conversation will probably be bitter, depressing, creepy, or all of the above.

 

No “Nights In” Until Date 4

A night in can be a great date – like cooking dinner together and then watching a movie. But you probably shouldn’t have an at-home date until you’ve been dating for a while (after the 3rd or 4th date seems like a good standard). When women hear “night in,” they know it is code for a hookup. So, if you ask her to your place before the 4th date, she will think you are only interested in sex.

 

Call Her!

As I mentioned earlier in the bad dating advice, you should never follow some stupid 3-day rule for calling women. Just do what feels natural, whether it means calling her right after the date to say what a good time you had or waiting a few days to call and check in.

But remember, you should ALWAYS CALL HER AFTER A DATE– even if the date went bad and you don’t want to see her again. This is common courtesy and she will respect you more for this. If you really lack balls, then I guess it is okay to send a text instead, something along the lines of, “Thank you for a nice night out yesterday. I think you are great, but didn’t really feel much chemistry between us so I’d rather not go out again. All the best!”

 

Be Cautious about the Declarations of Love

I once went out with a Mexican guy who told me “te amo” after the first date. I burst out laughing when I heard this. Needless to say, he was shocked by my reaction, even after I explained that there was no possible way he could love me after 4 hours together. I’m pretty open-minded and I also chocked his declaration of love up to cultural differences. However, most girls probably aren’t as tolerant as me and get freaked out when they hear things like “I love you” or “you are the girl I’ve been searching for” after just a few dates.

Need some more help in the love department?  Check out the free Play It On Point guide here


28 Ideas for What to Do on a First Date

Not sure what to do on a first date? A movie and dinner is always a safe bet for a first date. But this isn’t exactly going to help you stand out and make a memorable impression. So, if you have a really special girl, then you will want to make sure your first date is something special.

Here are 28 ideas for what to do on a first date which aren’t your typical movie and dinner. I’ve broken them down into outdoor first date ideas, indoor first date ideas, and daytime first date ideas.

first date idea

What Makes a Good First Date?

Before we get into the first date ideas, we need to establish what makes for a good first. According to Art Markman, author of Smart Thinking, a first date needs to have:

  1. A chance to get to know each other
  2. Some energy

By “chance to get to know each other,” we are talking about conversation and chatting. But you’ve also got to have some sort of energy on the date. Otherwise, you end up with too much attention on yourselves and feel pressured to talk incessantly. So, a good first date will have the right balance of conversation and distracting energy.

This is why the movie/dinner date idea is so popular. You go to the movie first so you have something to talk about during dinner. The process of going from place to place, ordering, waiting for food, etc. provides just the right amount of distraction so you don’t need to constantly talk. You would NOT, however, just take a girl to a movie because there is no chance for conversation.

dinner movie first date idea

All of these first date ideas provide a chance to get to know each other, such as by putting you into situations where you need to exchange your opinions (like at a museum). They also have the perfect balance of energy so you both have a memorable experience.

 

Outdoor Date Ideas

outdoor first date ideas

1. Hiking

It shows that you are a capable leader, that you are adventurous, and that you are trustworthy. Just make sure that you don’t get lost in the wilderness somewhere. Bring a compass and a map! Of course, you wouldn’t want to take a high maintenance girl hiking. Be on the lookout for signs like long fingernails and excessive makeup.

2. Miniature Golf

If you want a really relaxed, fun date, then miniature golf is a sure bet. The friendly competition is a great way to get to know each other. If you are actually good at mini golf, then use it as a chance to put your arms around her and “show her how to put.”

3. Ice Skating

I honestly have no clue how to ice skate and always wanted to learn, so I’d be really happy if someone took me ice skating for a first date. It would be so romantic to hold hands while gliding and falling all over the ice – and each other!

4. Go Canoeing or Paddle Boating

I’ve got to warn you: canoeing is hard work. So make sure you are up to the challenge if you want to take her out on the water in a canoe or paddle boat. If you are up for this challenge, then you will impress her. She will never forget the intimacy and romance of your first date on the water.

5. Nighttime Walk on the Beach

You know the cliché line about “likes to take long walks on the beach.” Well, there’s a good reason for it – walks on the beach are romantic! Going for a walk on the beach at night is going to have a very different mood than in the day. It is quieter, more intimate, and cooler so you aren’t unattractively sweating up a storm. Remember to be a gentleman. If she is cold, offer her your jacket.

6. Playground

A lot of magazines recommend going to a playground for your first date. If a guy took me to a playground, I’d probably think he was cheap and/or way too quirky. However, there is nothing wrong with going for a nice walk in a park and “happening on” the playground, where the two of you teasingly bump into each other on the swings.

 

Indoor Date Ideas

indoor first date ideas

7. Bowling

If you are stressed about the date, then bowling is a good option. There is always something to do (keep score, take your swing, refill the beer pitcher…), so you have an excuse to duck out if there is a lag in the conversation. Oh, and this is a pretty cheap date too.

8. Roller Skating Rink

Just like with ice skating, roller skating provides all sorts of opportunities for intimate moments. You two can hold hands while whipping around the rink, act silly dancing to the music, or pretend to fall so you can get your arms around her.

9. Theatre

This is a classy version of the movie/dinner date idea. When you go to the theatre though, it is a lot more memorable and there is generally an intermission where you can chat.

10. Dinner Cabaret

If a classy theatre date isn’t your style, then go to a local dinner cabaret instead.   Cabaret tends to be a bit lewd, which will give you a reading about how sexually open your date is. As another bonus, you don’t have to worry about taking her two places because dinner is served while you watch the show.

11. Stand-Up Comedy

Stand-up comedy shows don’t give you as much room for conversation, but they will get both of your laughing and in a really good mood – which will help open you up for conversation after the show.

12. Live Music at a Small Venue

You wouldn’t want to take a first date to a big concert. The atmosphere is too chaotic and not at all intimate. However, seeing live music at a smaller venue where you can sit down and have a drink is a good choice. You will be able to chat, and there is so much energy at a live show that she will think you are a fun, outgoing type of guy.

13. Museums, Aquariums, or the Zoo

If you are a good conversationalist and already have your flirting skills down (download our free flirting guide), then one of these places is a good bet. The atmosphere is very relaxed, you will have plenty to talk about thanks to all the exhibits, and it will also be memorable since she probably hasn’t gone to any of these places recently. *Note that this might not be the best first date for a single mom. She probably does this all the time with the kids!

14. Trivia Night

This is an especially good first date idea for people who are bad conversationalists. The trivia will fill in for the lack of chatting.

15. Exotic Food

If you want to take her out to dinner, then choose some sort of exotic cuisine. You will come across as worldly and adventurous, it will be more memorable, and you’ll have more to talk about over dinner.

16. Arcade

A bit of friendly competition is a great way to get to know each other. Make sure you scout out the 2-player games at the arcade before you go, or try playing some more active games like having a Dance Dance Revolution face off.

17. Take a Class Together

If you both share an interest in something like cooking, dancing, yoga, or ceramics, then sign up for a class together. If you really like the girl, you might even be able to hire a private instructor for just the two of you.

18. Karaoke

Karaoke dates are generally best when there are more people involved, so this is a good choice if you are going out on a double date or in a group. You will be able to see how inhibited – or wildly outgoing – by how she takes to the stage.

19. Go Dancing

You know how some birds do mating dances? Well, the same applies to humans. Women find it irresistibly sexy when a man knows how to dance (it is a sign he is good in bed). So, show off your moves by taking her dancing. Be on the lookout for themed nights at bars and clubs, like Salsa, Swing, or Tango.

20. Poetry or Book Reading

It you want to impress her by showing off how much of an intellectual you are, then take her to a poetry or book reading. Make sure that this is something she actually enjoys though. Otherwise, the date might be a bit boring. Of course, you will want to go to a bistro afterwards for espresso and to talk about the reading.

 

Day time Date Ideas

daytime first date ideas

A lot of the above dates could be done during the daytime. But, because daytime dates are generally a bit harder (more conversation required and usually alcohol isn’t involved for social lubrication), I decided that daytime dates needed its own section.

21. Local Flea Market or Farmer’s Market

You will have fun while looking over all of the items, and you’ll get a sense of her personality by which items she likes – like whether she is drawn to the expensive Victorian chandelier or the cheap Crack Jack box toys. Make sure there is a good place nearby where you can stop for a bite to eat. Buy her a souvenir so she won’t ever forget your first date!

22. Go Shopping Together

Tell her that you’ve got to buy a present for your mom/sister/etc. Then take her to some interesting places. You’ll be able to get to know each other well when talking over the present ideas. Or, if you want to spoil her, take HER shopping for a new outfit. She will feel like a princess trying on the outfits for you!

23. Picnic

Stroll to a nice spot together and have a picnic. If there aren’t any sites to walk to in the area (like a pond where you two can feed the ducks), then bring along a board game to play so you’ll have something energetic to do.

24. Be Tourists

When was the last time you visited the tourist hot spots in your town? Go there to check out the sites. Some of them are probably actually really romantic. For example, I used to live in Philadelphia, which has a Clock Tower that you can go to the top of and get an amazing view of the city. I think I was the only local who ever went there! For a goofy fun time, make up characters for yourself to play while at the tourist spot. You can be Boris from Russia and she can be Monique, a Parisian artist visiting for the first time.

25. Beach

If you are lucky enough to live near the beach, take her there for some swim and sun. You can have fun splashing each other and build up sexual attraction while you rub sunscreen all over her shoulders.

26. Go Photographing

Pretend to be all artsy and sophisticated by taking her for a walk somewhere beautiful (like a botanical garden or a really nice park) to take photographs. Have her pose in the photographs and she will feel flattered by your attention!

27. Geo Caching

Geo Caching is a scavenger hunt game for adults. You go online to the website, type in your location, and it will show you the coordinates of where “caches” are hidden. Then you go and find them. Your date will think that you are adventurous and that you are in-the-know with cool underground things to do.

28. Fly a Kite

I wouldn’t take a girl on a first date which was just flying a kite. However, you two could go on a walk to a park together (with a bottle of wine, of course) and bring a kite along to fly. The kite will give you something to do so you don’t have to chat as much. Plus, you’ll get points for originality.

 

Need some help with your flirting and bantering skills?  Download our free dating guide and you will be set for first date success.


The Truth about Interracial Dating (whether you like it or not)

So you want to date a black girl? Or, depending on your race, a white girl, Asian girl, Latina girl… Dating is hard enough without stepping outside what is considered “normal” by society’s standards of what couples should look like. And, sorry to break it to you, interracial dating does not fit that standard of normal!

In today’s melting-pot society, you could easily argue (i.e. lie to yourself) that interracial dating isn't a problem. But let us not forget that just 50 years ago interracial marriage was illegal in many states. It was only in 1967 that laws banning interracial marriage were deemed unconstitutional. Long after this ruling, interracial couples were still harassed and discriminated against.   And, yes, it still happens to interracial couples today. The fact that the term “interracial dating” exists just proves that it is an issue to date outside your race.

interracial dating

There is no reason why you should let society’s biased views keep you from dating the man or woman of your dreams just because he/she is outside of your race. However, you should enter the relationship with eyes open to what problems and challenges you might face. If you are willing to deal with these hurdles, you might also find that there are many benefits to interracial dating too.

Race Does Make a Difference

Our society likes to promote some sort of colorblind model as a cure for racism. In its effort to show we are all equal, it has done its best to ignore the fact that we are all different.

Equality does NOT mean the same!

This can also be seen in feminism, in which some feminists are so gung-ho about proving that they can do anything a man can do (there are even devices which let women pee standing up) that they ignore significant differences like that women’s bodies are built for childbearing, hormonal differences, and body structure differences.

If you are entering into an interracial dating relationship for the first time, you might be surprised at just how different your life experiences can be (if you need tips finding a girlfriend, read this post). Two people of different races, even when they grew up in the same town, can have completely different cultures. For example, it is a reality that black men in New York are a lot more likely to be stopped by the police for a random search than white men. If you are a white woman dating an Arabic man, be prepared for the security checks at the airport.

As people of different races,

  • We have different histories
  • We have different cultures
  • We may have different languages
  • We have different accepted norms
  • We have different dance traditions
  • We even have different ways of doing our hair!

If you try to ignore all of these differences and say that “race doesn’t matter”, then you are setting yourself up for a big shock. However, if you can embrace these differences, then your romance can flourish. You might even learn something too by stepping outside your cultural norms. This is one of the benefits of interracial dating.

interracial dating culture

People Will Assume It is a Fetish

You’ve heard the phrases before.

Asian girl fetish.
Jungle fever (also: vanilla fever, curry fever, yellow fever, desert fever…)
Once you go black, you never go back!

When you date outside your race, people will assume it is some sort of fetish thing. Now, there is a big difference between attraction and fetish. Fetish assumes that you are turned on by certain characteristics or things, such as people with a fetish for pantyhose or scat or whatever. Yeah, there are a lot of fetishes out there!

It is a bit difficult to define the difference between a fetish and attraction. We can’t help it if we have a preference for one type of look, such as one guy being attracted to skinny women with blond hair whereas another prefers curvy women with darker tones.

How can you tell when it is a fetish and not just attraction? A fetish is purely sexual and the person will be attracted to ALL people of that race/appearance regardless of the person.

By comparison, attraction is often just the spark which initiates a romance. Real love isn’t based on attraction!

If Not a Fetish, then a Status Thing

If they don’t think your interracial relationship is based on a fetish, they might think it is a status thing, or a “come up.”

This is most seen in interracial relationships with white women and black men. As Ernest Baker points out at Gawker, it is based on years of white dominance in society.

Whites are privileged in this society and having what they have serves as validation for a lot of people. Successful minorities love to say, “You're privileged but I'm so smart and awesome and financially secure that I have the same, if not better, house, car, and woman as you.”

Need evidence that some black men see dating a white woman as a sign of their success? Just listen to the lyrics of rap music from the likes of Kanye West, Chris Brown, We Dem Boyz, or Wiz Khalif. You will hear lyrics about “white bitches” and how successful black men will “leave your ass for a white girl.”  Kanye West then went and married a white girl…

Kanye West and wife

Yes, women are seen as trophies and markers of success. This is a huge problem and you need to be aware of it before you enter into an interracial dating relationship with a white woman, especially if you are black.

Love May Be Blind – But Society Isn’t

You might not have a bit of racism in you, and your reasons for dating the man/woman of your dreams has nothing to do with race at all. But don’t ever forget that racism still exists. Be prepared for the stares, stupid comments, and maybe even violence (thankfully, this doesn’t occur often anymore in Western countries).

You two will have to do your best not to let the racism of other people interfere with your relationship.   The typical advice about interracial dating says to “just ignore it.” In reality, it won’t be so easy. You might have to adjust your relationship to avoid the discomfort and general displeasure of society.

Yes, it sucks to let bigots dictate your life, but it is really, really difficult not to let racism ruin your evening. For example, one interracial couple in Houston said they stopped going to country music concerts together. They just got tired of the stares and comments so decided to go on dates elsewhere.

Women Will Shun Your Girlfriend

Or, if you are the woman in the interracial relationship, the women in your boyfriend’s life will probably shun you.  Of course, this isn’t always the case – but you should be prepared for it.

You remember that move Save the Last Dance? When the white protagonist in the movie starts a relationship with a black guy, the guy’s female friend responds with:

“White girls like you, creeping up, taking our men — the whole world ain't enough, you've got to conquer ours too.”

save the last dance racism

Sarah James talks about this in her article for the Huffington Post. She puts the comment in the context by pointing out that there are fewer black men than white men, black men are more likely to be incarcerated, and black men are less likely to be monogamous. Other stats show that 42% of black women are unmarried – which leads you to understand why black women might feel like a white woman is “creeping up” on their men.

Once again, this is really sad as it just reinforces a society in which women are pitted against each other.   This can also be a problem with men, such as you getting shunned by your girlfriend’s male friends. We stick to our “tribes” and people feel rejected or jealous when they see someone from “their tribe” dating someone who looks different.

You Will Both Be Scared to Meet Each Other’s Families

Meeting your partner’s family is always difficult. It can be downright terrifying when you two are of a different race.   As liberal as your partner and community are, there is much to be said about the decades of internalized racism that his/her parents might harvest.

In this article about meeting the parents when you are in an interracial relationship, David Schiller gives some good tips, like pretending that you like all the food and refraining from mentioning race at all.   Another good piece of advice is to tell your family beforehand. Even if you think your family is totally cool and not the least bit racist, it might still come as a surprise when you show up for dinner with a person from ___ race.

And remember, even if the meeting does end up being terrible, family is never a reason to stop seeing a person you love!

dating meeting the parents

You will Get Stupid Questions

You are in an interracial relationship? Brace yourself for the stupid questions! Some of these questions might be well intentioned, but ignorant and painful nonetheless.   Here are just some of the questions/comments you can expect to hear when dating interracially.

  • Aren’t your worried your children will be bullied?
  • Do you only date ___ people?
  • Wouldn’t it be easier to date someone of your own race?
  • What does your family think of you dating a ____ person?
  • I dated a ___ person once.
  • You are so brave!
  • Inappropriate questions about his “member”
  • What is sex like with a ____ person?
  • Mixed kids are so cute!

 

The Stares Might Be Coming from a GOOD Place

As annoying, frustrating, and painful as getting stares can be, remember that they might not all be coming from a bad place. A story from The Root is a good example of this.

Clay told me the story of a department store employee who was obsessing over Clay’s family and its racial makeup. “He was a white guy who was 19, and he would not let it go!” Clay said. Instead of shunning the curious stranger, they talked to him, and “it turned out that he had just started dating a black woman and was excited to see [our relationship] was working. It was goofy, awkward, immature, but it came from a genuine place.” You never know. People who you think are only seeing your skin might actually be seeing themselves.

 

Hardships Help Your Love Grow

Sad as it is, dealing with the racist idiots in the world might actually help you grow as a couple. Couples often face hurdles or “rough spots,” such as money problems, disease, employment troubles, and so forth. If the relationship isn’t strong, then the problems can break a relationship. However, if the relationship is strong, then the hardships can actually make the couple grow closer together.

Couples in an interracial relationship face hurdles right from the get-go. If they can overcome these hurdles, they will be much more equipped for dealing with whatever life throws at them.

If the two of you can’t withstand some negative associations with interracial dating and racism, then your love probably wasn’t that strong to begin with. Or, you or your partner lack self-confidence – which is absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship (read confidence tips in our dating manual!). Again, it is pretty sad, but those racist idiots might actually help your love flourish.

Okay – it doesn’t always end this way. Recent statistics show that interracial married couples have a higher rate of divorce: 41% of interracial couples will divorce by their 10th year compared to 31% for same-race couples. The study found the biggest divorce risk in couples involving white females with non-white males compared to white/white couples. Note that interracial couples which involved white men with non-white females showed no or little difference in divorce rates. White men with black women had a substantially lower divorce risk than white/white couples!

interracial marriage

The study researchers point out that other factors aside from race might be at work – including the lack of support from family and friends that interracial couples often experience. This just goes to show how important it is for people entering into interracial dating relationships to be aware of the hardships they might face.

In the End, Love Has Nothing to Do with Race

While it is important to be aware of the hardships you might face when dating interracially, ultimately it all comes down to the couple. You can’t help who you fall in love with, and love has nothing to do with race. If you two share the same interests, goals in life, and are committed to building a life together, then race won’t matter more than any of the many other obstacles which couples must overcome.

interracial family


The Magic of Making Up Review – Updated 2014

First off, I want to say that I’ve been there and understand what you are going through. Maybe you cheated on your ex. Maybe it was a stupid fight. Or maybe you simply took your ex for granted. No matter what the reason was, breakups suck. But here is the good news: you can get your ex back. With the ground-breaking system laid out in the e-guide “The Magic of Making Up” by T.W. Jackson, you can cut through all that drama and emotional baggage and not only get your ex back, but have an even better, stronger relationship than before.

What is The Magic of Making Up?

The Magic of Making Up Review - Updated 2014

The Magic of Making Up is an e-guide which gives you a foolproof way of getting your ex back. The system works for both men and women, and it works whether you broke up yesterday, last week, or last year. It even can work if your ex is already in a new relationship.

I should point out that The Magic of Making Up was written in 2007, which seems like a lifetime ago. However, it is still considered the leading guide for getting your ex back. Many influential dating coaches even use T.W. Jackson’s strategies in their practices.

The guide lays out a simple technique which can be used to get your ex back. Because the technique is based in psychology, it almost always works and it works with both men and women. Just as importantly, the eBook helps you understand the reason why your relationship ended and helps you stay in control of your emotions after the fact. For these reasons, The Magic of Making Up is a must-read for anyone in a relationship because it can help you avoid breaking up by teaching you how to keep your emotions in check and avoid doing things you will regret.Magic of Making Up Review

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Magnetic Messaging Review – Updated 2014

Whether you like it or not, text messaging has completely changed the way we date. Phone calls are becoming increasingly rare and men are expected to charm women into dating them with witty, cute, or decisive texts. Used the wrong way, text messaging can make you seem desperate, creepy, or flat-out boring. But, when used the right way, texting won’t just help you get a date with a girl, but will make the girl dripping wet in anticipation of your date.

Given the importance of texting in the dating game, it is fantastic that there is finally a book out on the topic. “Patented” Pick Up Artists Bobby Rio and Rob Judge spent two years researching the text game. The result is their landmark eBook Magnetic Messaging. The book guides you through the principles of the text game and lays out the “Key-Lock Sequence” – a tested system which allows you to captivate any woman with just three simple texts.

What is Magnetic Messaging?

Magnetic Messaging Review - Updated 2014

Magnetic Messaging is an e-guide which covers everything you need to know about using text messages to get a girl and keep her interested. Unlike other text messaging guides which give you a script to follow, Magnetic Messaging gives you a system called the “Key-Lock sequence” which you can use to “unlock the phone and text game”. The guide defines each step of the sequence, supplies plenty of examples and templates, and explains when and how much to use each. With this knowledge, you will never lose another girl because of bad follow-ups.Magnetic Messaging Review

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