Category Archives: Dating

4 Things To Do If Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Flirts A Lot

One of the issues that can create a lot of tension in a relationship is flirting, even in healthy relationships where the trust and bond between two people are very strong. When one partner behaves with the opposite sex in such a way that the other partner feels insecure and inadequate, then it’s time you acknowledge that your uncontrollable flirting is creating some real issues in your relationships. You should start working on these matters. Otherwise, things can become even before you realize it.

Here are few suggestions that will help you navigate through the problems together.

1. Define the Issue
If you’re feeling uneasy with your significant other’s flirting with the opposite sex, the first thing you need to do is to figure out how this is affecting you. In other words, what exactly gets onto you when your boyfriend/girlfriend is flirting with the opposite sex? Do you feel insecure? Is it that you doubt your relationship with your partner because he or she has lost interest in you or is dissatisfied with being in a relationship with you? If that’s the case, try to have a conversation with your partner. It seems like your significant other is paying less attention to you, and less prioritizing your feelings and emotions as well as your relationship.

2. Get Some Perspective
Once you’ve identified the problem, and pinpointed the source of your discomfort, it’s time to take some concrete steps to figure out what behaviors precisely are bothering you. After all, there’s a good chance that your boyfriend/girlfriend showed many of these traits before you both got involved in a romantic relationship. These behaviors and qualities might even help you and your partner to come close together in the first place. In circumstances like these, it doesn’t give you the permission to confront your partner and tell him or her to tone down some of their “flirtatious behaviors’, now that you both are in a relationship now.

3. Decide precisely what you want to discuss
If you do determine that it’s imperative to address the issue with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then remain precisely focused on the issues you will be talking. Don’t bring up other problems in the relationship. Try to be precise and specific. Ensure that your partner knows about the problems that you’re currently dealing. For example, if you feel that you don’t feel cared, cherished and respected when you are both together, or not spending enough time with each other, then discuss it.

4. Decide the time and how you want to talk about it
It’s also imperative that you find the best time to have this particular conversation. For instance, you might not want to bring the discussion immediately when you brought out the topic like when you both were at a party. If you’re feeling sad and angry, it’s highly likely that you’ll have the talk with your boyfriend or girlfriend with an attacking and accusatory tone. It will put your partner in a defensive mode and will make your emotions and feelings less heard and necessary. Instead, calm down and talk about the subject at a time when the chances of achieving the results are higher and more expected. Also, the way you speak of this topic is crucial too. As we said, results would be negative if you keep attacking and accusing him or her. Never initiate a conversation in a way that creates conflict. This way you can focus more on expressing your feelings. It will also make you feel less controlling.

If you’re looking for a relationship, it’s totally fine to flirt. Flirting is the first step towards dating someone. But, when you’re in a relationship, then flirting with the opposite sex is disrespectful and hurtful to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


What To Do If You’re Dating a Cheapskate?

Your boyfriend won’t pay for parking, so you walk half a mile to the mall. He won’t pay for valet or even tip the waiters. He tells you that he’s just an old-fashioned, but you think it’s ironic as you always pick up the bill. You start wondering how you end up with this cheapskate of a boyfriend, who is always looking for ways to save a few bucks or pennies, no matter how hard it is.

So, are you willing to get serious with this person, or is there anything that you can do so that your partner becomes a little generous? Here are a few suggestions:

Identify The Difference Between Thrifty And Cheap. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t have enough cash to splurge on expensive bars or restaurants for dates. Since things aren’t always better when they’re expensive, consider having good experiences on a budget. Go on a picnic in a place with a scenic view, have e decent bottle of wine, or dine in the new restaurant nearby. But, if you are not in a mood to go out, cook something nice and have a romantic candlelit dinner with your partner at your place. Keep in mind that being frugal can be a virtue. Don’t pressurize your boyfriend to spend money on stuff he doesn’t have.

Meanwhile, if your girlfriend/boyfriend has the money, but won’t spend it, it shows that they’re stingy. Apparently, he/she cares so much about money that he/she wants to hold on it. This stingy behavior might manifest itself in other areas of his or her life such as her emotions. If the situation in your relationship is like this, you might want to take a second look at how your relationship will fare in the long run.

Share your Values. Most relationship problems often involve money and money problems. Try having an honest conversation about each other’s finances instead of an accusatory assault. Focus on your values and think if it’s worthy to splurge on dinner at that expensive restaurant at the theatre or having that posh champagne. If money is in short supply, consider splitting the bill while dining out or the movie tickets. Check out for coupons in the newspapers or magazines that offer discounts at supermarkets, or restaurants and even concerts. Tell your girlfriend that you aren’t a compulsive spender and that you’re responsible spend with her and willing to do your part to keep the expenses under control.

Determine If You Can Handle Your Cheapskate Partner Over The Long Term. It’s important for you to decide if your partner is a generous person by nature who doesn’t have much money at the moment or is just plain cheap. If your boyfriend doesn’t think him being a cheapskate isn’t a big problem, it can cause some problems in your relationship now and then. Also, he being a tightwad can manifest to other sensitive and intimate parts of the relationship, and if this happens, then you got a huge problem.

People, especially their bad habits don’t change. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating someone new or just got back with your ex after breaking up with him or her a while ago. So, think long and hard about than spending habits of your girlfriend/boyfriend, before you get married, as it’s highly likely that things won’t change much after you settle down.


2 Things You Need To Know About Texting While Dating

We won’t deny the fact these days much of the communication between potential matches or new partners takes place behind a computer screen, text messages or emails. Texting has now become a socially acceptable way to make plans and keep in touch with romantic partners, family, and friends. Unfortunately, talking on the phone or meeting someone new in person has become less important. But, does relying too much on text messages make or break a relationship?

Below are two significant problems associated with overreliance on texting while dating:

1. Relying too much on texting before meeting your date in person will make it harder for both of you to connect. One major problem associated with excessive texting between you and your romantic match you didn’t meet yet is that by the time you meet them in person and hear their voices, you have inaccurate assessments and perceptions of each other. So, it’s highly likely you’ll be disappointed at the first encounter.

Many men and women who met their romantic interests in person after too much texting and emailing complained that their matches looked entirely different than what they expected. They found that their dates were more awkward or shy than they had envisioned. This has left most of them feeling uncertain and confused about taking their relationship forward, despite the texts or email exchanges between them may have been funny, flirty or natural.

Think about it, when someone sends you text, as you haven’t seen or met him or her; you make assumptions about that person based on the texts or emails they sent you, such as voice tone, the meaning of the messages, personality, etc. This leads to a potentially misleading interpretation of the message and who the person really is. Therefore, if you want to know a person, their personalities, their lifestyle, their family, and friends, etc., there isn’t any alternative to meet them in person.

2. Texting won’t get you in the relationships, though it will keep you in the safe zone. The appeal of texting goes beyond the sheer convenience as a safe and strategic way to connect with someone.

Texting can keep people in their safe zone when asking someone out and the possibility of getting rejected. Texting helps to avoid uneasy and challenging conversations in person or over the phone. Sending sexy, witty, thoughtful, romantic and flirty responses over text is easier, than expressing in face-to-face, but texting can only take you as far in a romantic relationship.

You need the courage and the confidence for taking emotional and social risks and develop the necessary coping skills to handle and manage a date and a relationship. And frequently texting to your romantic interests prevents you from doing it. The more you text or email romantic, flirty or complimentary messages to your date, the harder it will become for you to conquer your fear and insecurities, and be intimate in person and your relationship.

The bottom line is texting your match in moderation may be okay during the initial stages of the relationship. But, if you want your relationship to advance, you need to spend more time with romantic interests in person to access the quality of your relationship and deepen your connection.


What Warrants the Second Chance In A Relationship?

We have all heard about second chances in relationships, but what warrants it? When we talk about second chances in relationships, it’s probably there has been some problems in the relationship, or the two parties have experienced some pain together. And if your boyfriend or girlfriend cause most of the problems in the relationship, or the other person is blaming you for all the troubles, then you may face a dilemma.

On the one hand, you care about this person, and you want to stay committed to the relationship. But, it’s also important that you take care of yourself and put yourself first. The question is when that time will come? How will you know that this relationship deserves a second chance? It’s a tough question, but some guidelines will help you to make a good decision for the well-being of yourself and your relationship.

A Relationship Deserves A Second Chance When:

1. You’ve been in a relationship your boyfriend or girlfriend for a long time. You both know each other very well on a genuinely and intimately. Within this period if you realize that there are some serious problems with your current partner regarding his or her character or integrity, or isn’t committed or trustworthy, it’s time that you leave this relationship. But if this person, despite all the pain he or she caused you, has demonstrated that he or she can be committed in the relationship, and has earned your trust throughout the relationship, then you can decide to give this person a second chance, and forgive him or her for their past activities.

2. Change is possible. This point is related with the first one. If you notice that your boyfriend or girlfriend has achieved some real personal growth and insight from this painful experience, then you might want to hear out your partner’s side of the story, and think about his or her request for a second chance. However, a simple sorry won’t be enough. Access yourself if real change is possible, and both of you are willing to invest your energy and time to make the change take place.

3. You received so much benefits and rewards from the relationship that you’re willing to forgive and work to address all the shortcomings. Every relationship has issues. We work on these issues because we like the good that we receive alongside these problems. The question is how much are you willing to put up with and find out how much are you getting from the relationship. However, it’s pointless to stay in a relationship where you’re always being abused and disrespected.

4. There are palliating circumstances. Be cautious about this particular point because you don’t want to give the other person a second chance, who refuses to take any responsibility if any problems appear in the relationship. However, sometimes situations arise in relationships, where one of the partners don’t act the way they’re supposed to act. Therefore, at least be willing to look into this possibility.

When you’re looking for someone, or in a relationship, keep in mind one important thing; take care of yourself. If you love and take care yourself, you will be more forgiving and work hard to salvage a relationship that is on the verge of destruction. By, taking care of yourself means that you’re acknowledging that it’s time to leave the relationships that aren't working anymore.


Dating a Former Cheater? Ask Yourself These Important Questions, First!

Dating someone with a history of cheating is complicated and depends on a lot of factors such as how long ago the person has cheated, why did he/she cheated, and so on. Infidelity can be found in almost every culture, regardless if a person has a history of cheating or not. If you’ve decided to date someone with a cheating history, you should be careful.

Consider asking your date the following questions, before you take the plunge:

Does the person acknowledge his or her actions?
If the person you’re interested admits that he or she made some mistakes and terrible life choices, and recognizes that his or her actions have affected the people he cared and loved, then it’s a good place to start. This acceptance of responsibility shows his or her level of self-awareness and good ethical sense. On the other hand, if the persons make excuses and blame his or her partner for all the problems in the relationship including the cheating, and refuses to take any responsibility for his or her actions, then this person is not right.

Did he or she learn and grown from the experience?
This refers if the person has reached a highly developed phase of relational maturity. If you want to have a romantic and committed relationship with this person, you need to ensure that whether he or she have reached the level of maturity in which they’re accepting of what they did in their previous relationships. Also, he or she should explain that how they will be different this time, and what have they done to be more loyal and faithful in their new relationships. Also, the person should also make it clear whether they experienced some transformations after their cheating scandals. Often, cheaters change into whole new people and how they interact with other people and treat people completely in a different way. Check for yourself if the person you’re interested has faced such a transformation in a genuine way and witnessed some spiritual awakening. If yes, you can seriously consider having a relationship with this person.

Are you worried that someone will cheat on you?
Are you the kind of person who finds it hard to forget a past scenario? Are you always worried or doubtful of your relationships? Do you think you can’t trust your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you find it irresistible to check his or her cell phone numbers or read his or her emails? If yes, then you seriously need to address these issues. Otherwise, it will be detrimental to your relationship and create obstacles to establish a real intimate connection between you and the other person.

Do you agree what your instincts say?
Sometimes we don’t give enough credits to what our intuitions tell us. Listen to the inner voice and figure out are you truly okay with dating this person? Do you trust him or her fully? Do your instincts tell you that this person is truthful, reliable and has a high level of integrity? If you answer these questions and the ones above and believe that this former cheater is a changed person, and he or she will be honest and be committed in a relationship with you, then you might consider giving this person shot. But, if your instincts tell something is wrong, then trust your instincts and move on.

Regardless of whom your date, take care of yourself and find someone to love who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.


Should You Consider Dating Someone ‘Out Of Your League?’

Let’s get one thing straight; no one wants to get married to someone beneath them. Don’t get me wrong; we are talking particularly talking about wealth, education social class, or family status. We are referring to the whole package. This entire package also consists all of the qualities a man or a woman brings to a relationship. We want to have relationships, and possibility gets married to someone who is compatible or matches with each other regarding earning potential, character or personality. Sometimes relationships end because the two people weren’t equal or compatible with each other.

Consider these thoughts as you ponder possible matches and mismatches of your own:

1. Accept the traditional principle of relationships. When you’re looking for someone, you expect to find or attract someone whose total set of attributes is almost equal to your own. This is the traditional principle of relationships. It’s mostly like a business contract. You want to find the best person, but making this best person your boyfriend or girlfriend mostly depends on what you bring in trade. Some folks won’t be very fond of it, calling in calculating and boorish. But, love it or hate it, when it comes to choosing a partner, all of us wants to get a ‘good deal’. In romantic perspective, it refers to the person who can bring as much as good qualities to the relationship as you do.

2. Evaluate your assets. Assess carefully what you can bring in a potential relationship. Keep in mind not to inflate your ego by listing all or exaggerating all of your good qualities. Also, don’t deflate your ego or undermine yourself by showcasing your shortcomings. Your primary goal should be to accurately and honestly understand what exactly you want to offer to the other person.

3. Assess your boyfriend/girlfriend’s attributes. There will always be men and women who will be highly intelligent, athletically gifted, good-looking or spiritually thoughtful. Then there are folks who have a moderate set of skills, while some people have significantly fewer qualities than most people. Therefore, hone your skills so that you can easily pinpoint the strengths and weaknesses in the opposite sex.

4. Recognize that all people possess a wide variety of positive qualities. We often hear people assigning a number to men and women such as, ‘He’s a 5, or she’s a 9’. What they’re doing is that they’re rating these men and women based on their looks. This is rather unfortunate as we are yet to come across a rating system where men and women will be rated on their numerous other positive qualities such as kindness, generosity, intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, and so on. Remember that physical looks are just one among many other traits to evaluate a person.

5. Look for a win-win situation. If you want to be in a committed and long-term relationship, you want to feel like a champion or winner in your choice of your boyfriend or girlfriend. The other person too should feel happy and content about choosing you. No one should even slightly think that they go ripped off while choosing their partners. After all, the most stable couples are those who have most of their interests, qualities and attributes aligned with each other.

The bottom line is when it comes to choosing someone to date or being in a long-term relationship, find someone who is not too above you or beneath you, but it just right for you.


Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Dating

Women are entirely different from men. If they like someone, they will dive right it, give their hearts, minds, and even their souls to men, in a hope to forge a perfect relationship. We decide to stop looking for other men, and by doing that we sabotaged our chances to get the closeness, commitment and intimacy we very much desire. This is the biggest mistake a lot of ladies make, and it’s time you stop it.

Instead, start dating multiple men at the same time until you find the man who is committed and right for you: Here’s why:

Being Needy Pushes Men Away.
When you’ve placed all your hopes and dreams on one guy, it’s natural to be scared of losing him, will eventually make you too feel lost. You become obsessed with his every phone call, you do what he wants you to do, and catering to his needs and wants by neglecting yours. This makes you appear needy and clingy to him, and it creates additional pressure on him. Instead, keep all your options open, and get him to understand and remind that you’re a prize that needs to be won. If you stop over-investing in your relationship, you’ll get the attention and affection you always desired.

Choose A Partner Wisely
If you’re dating only one man, it’s easy to ignore all the red flags about that person and focus on the good qualities. However, these red flags will eventually be the reasons for the demise of your relationship. You will realize that you’ve wastefully spent a lot of love and affection on someone who isn’t right for you. Dating is all about knowing people and choosing someone who will bring the best in each other, and take things to the next level.

Taking Things, Slow Is The Best Way
You can’t take things slow if you’re dating only one man. It’s impossible. But, when you’re dating multiple men at the same time, you can take things slow. You’re busy with other dates, your job, and other activities. This way you aren’t dedicating your entire time only one guy. It also gives you the opportunity to relax and reflect on all your dates, and recall what other men has revealed about themselves to you.

Your Chances of Meeting The Right Will Increase
When it comes to men and dating, a lot of folks tell women not to be picky, not to obsess on your checklist, and date only one man at a time. But, if you date multiple men at the same time, your chances of meeting someone who meets most of the qualities in your checklist will increase. Therefore, by keeping your options open, and dating many men, your likelihood of meeting the man of your dreams will go up.

The bottom line is when you’re looking for someone who will meet most of your preferences, dating multiple men and women at the same time will help find the right person much faster. It will also make you feel empowered, confident and boost your self-esteem. So, don’t think about the criticism that comes with it. Just give it a try.


Will Your Relationship Suffer If You Snoop on the Person Your Dating?

Being curious about someone you just met and interested to have a relationship with is natural. We use all means at our disposal including the internet to know more about the person we are seeing. But, all these snooping without our partners’ knowledge affect our chances of developing a loving and healthy relationship?

Well, here are some questions you need to think long and hard before you decide to snoop on your partner:

1. Why do I feel the need to snoop? You can reveal a lot about yourself and the other person by your intentions and motivations. We understand that you want to be extra cautious about not getting hurt again like you did in the past because of your partner’s dishonesty and disloyalty. Or it might be that your intuition is nagging you that the person you’re currently seeing is exactly the person he/she purports to be. Or, it’s maybe that you’re simply nosy. Answering all ‘why’ questions will give you an insight about yourself and your intentions regarding the relationship.

2. Will I accept the fact if someone snooped on me? You most likely won’t care if your new love interest looks into your life in a certain way. It’s none of his or her business, at least not at this stage of the relationship. Don’t snoop on other people the same way you won’t like someone to be snooping on you.

3. Does my investigation break any boundaries? If you want to have a loving, healthy relationship, boundaries must be maintained, respect should be given, and honesty should be present. You should understand where the boundaries are between suspicious prying and sensible collection of information about the person you’re currently dating. Now, honor the boundaries.

4. Can I spend my energy on something more productive than snooping? If you’re snooping on your partner just because of the sheer thrill you get from it, remember that it takes a lot of effort to keep your secretive action concealed from your spouse. What’s more important is that energy could be better utilized and enjoyed if you just have an open and honest conversation with your partner to know more about them.

5. Am I snooping on my partner because I want to avoid starting a potentially uncomfortable conversation and feeling vulnerable? If you’re unsure and suspicious about something, you ought to investigate to find more information. But, ask yourself, wouldn’t things be much helpful if you just brought up the topics in an open and gentle way and have a dialogue with your partner? It’s true that snooping is a simple solution to find more about your spouse, rather than doing all the hard work to have an honest conversation with him or her. If you realize that him spending long hours in the office at night, or her having dinner with her ex, makes you feel vulnerable, then you should have to address these issues. They are necessary discussions you need to have together to build trust, loyalty and diffuse any threats in your relationship.

A healthy relationship is built on commitment, honesty, openness, trust and emotional intimacy. If you’re looking for someone or dating someone new, it’s difficult to control these qualities in the other person, but you can do your best to maintain these essential qualities.


How to Deal With Anxiety on Dates is Easier Than You Think

Many men and women said that they feel anxious and worried on their dates; especially the first dates are pretty precarious. Some might feel the urge to skip or avoid dating altogether and settle with someone who isn’t right for them. But, there is a silver lining here. If you push yourself to go as many dates as possible, and learn from the experiences, manage expectations and deal with a few bad dates to meet your Mr. or Ms. Perfect, it’s highly likely that you’ll become less nervous and more confident dater.

There’s even more good news. Many people said that they feel the most anxious on first dates right before the moments of meeting their dates. It’s very likely you’re feeling this way because you’re rife with panic or worry, but when you meet your date and start having a conversation, most of these feelings will diminish. Also, think of the fact, the frequently you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll get, and your worries will dissipate too. Your excitement to find love and fall in love with one of your dates will make you more comfortable with dating.

Here five healthy ways that will be helpful to manage your anxiety on first dates, or any dates, and create a genuine connection in spite of your nervousness:

1. Remind yourself that you’re overcoming your fears and worries while on your date. Despite your mind telling to skip it, you eventually made it to the date anyways. Think of this feat as an achievement, and an example for yourself that you can accomplish anything if you just let go of your fears and anxiety. When you think an anxious thought has popped into your head and is holding you back, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths. Then tell yourself, ‘I am not afraid, nothing can hold me back, and I am going to the date’.

2. Maintain an open attitude and right level of curiosity about your date the whole the dating experience. Focus on learning more about the other persons by asking questions and being attentive. Curiosity spurs excitement into new experiences and makes it rewarding while freeing yours from negative and anxious thoughts.

3. Humor and laughter lighten and boosts people’s moods. It can quickly dismiss anxiety and awkward silence from any dates. This is particularly handy if your date is nervous too.

4. Stay in the present, and don’t worry too much about what will happen next. Let pass of all the assumptions, fears and judgments that are on your mind. Just focus what is going on now, what your date is saying and how you feel about the whole experience, instead of what going on your head.

5. Don’t be perfect. Don’t even attempt to be. Striving for perfection will only make your more anxious. It’s futile to attempt for humans to attain perfection. Return to the reality and aim to be successful and be the best of yourself.

The bottom line is the more you go on dates, the less anxious you’ll be on your future encounters, and better the chance of you meeting the right partner.


How to Spot a Toxic Person in a Relationship

Let’s begin with the good news; there are plenty of kind-hearted, generous, well-balanced and honest individuals in this world. Now, here’s the bad news; there are a lot of folks who are less emotionally capable, healthy, manipulative, dishonest, cheat and selfish. While searching for a man or woman, you should stay far away from these people.

So, how can you spot a person, who won’t be toxic for the relationship? Here are twelve signs you need to keep an eye on:

1. He/she talks more than necessary and listens way too little. He/she dominates the conversation, which is mostly a sign of self-centeredness, insecurity, and narcissism.

2. He/she always needs to be right all the time, no matter what. It doesn’t if the topic is small or big, this baneful person will downright discard any different opinions, and will turn a light weighted discussion into a serious debate in which they must win.

3. These people don’t seem to embrace the concept of being truthful and honest is the best policy. It’s not a high priority for them. Be careful getting involved romantically with people, who sugarcoat utter lies with little specs of truth or real facts.

4. He/she shows signs of being dependent or addiction. If left unaddressed, their compulsive behaviors including drugs, gambling, pornography, alcoholism, and other issues will engulf them fully and in the process will destroy many aspects of their life, including your relationship.

5. He/she shows signs of desperation. Emotionally healthy men and women will be eager and excited to meet you and get to know you as an individual. He/she will not be overly anxious about getting into a romantic relationship because of loneliness.

6. His/her conversation is coated with sarcasm. No matter what you do, most of the times you’re the target of derogatory comments combined with crude humor. Even if you aren’t the target, he/she lacks empathy and needs to prove his superiority in the relationship.

7. He/she treats ‘common or everyday folks’ poorly. They are rude and sensitive towards maids, dry-cleaners, waiters, taxi drivers, etc. This type of behavior exposes their arrogance.

8. He/she loves to gossip. Talking ill or bashing other people reputation and honor serves no purpose other than burnishing your own.

9. He/she gives mixed answers to straight questions. You get evasive responses or contradictions, and it’s like straight answers are in short supply. These people also have secrets and always hesitant to share their inner feelings, thoughts and secrets.

10. He/she always bashes the ex. No one is interested in listening to all of your endless details about exes and your past relationships. Dwelling in the past is a deal breaker in dates. So, get over it and move on.

11. The person is controlling. He/she likes to be in control and wants to control you. If anyone forces you to think and act to someone else’s wishes, instead of your own, pack your bags and leave.

12. The person doesn’t like to take responsibility. Whenever any problem arises in the relationship; it’s someone else’s fault. He/she blames their partners, parents, friends, and even the government. This behavior reveals a lack of personal responsibility and accountability.

If you’re dating someone or looking for someone to be your romantic partner, keep an eye for these above red flags, as it can be detrimental to the relationship.