Category Archives: Relationships

Lying To Her Can Actually Save Your Relationship

Despite, honesty being the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, telling little white lies can actually be good for your relationship. We understand that lying is an automatic deal breaker for many people looking for a partner, but should it be? Is there any possibility that relationships sometimes need small doses of dishonesty to thrive?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, sometimes we need to think of the greater good. Love is the greater good. We need to tell lies to our boyfriends or girlfriends for the greater good. Lies are essential to a partnership. So, if you want to experience love and be happy in your relationship, then you better be prepared to tell some lies from time to time and to believe some lies. But, just lying blatantly won’t make your relationship better. You should know what kind of lies are okay, and which lies can be toxic to a romantic relationship?

While Lies And Bigger Lies
Small white lies, such as, “you’re not disturbing me,” or “you look sexy in that dress,” or “I don’t think you put on any weight,” etc. are usually considered to be important. After all, you don’t want to hurt your significant other’s feelings and create unwanted hostility and resentment between the two of you. These white lies are called ‘compassionate offerings’ and often acknowledged to keep relationships healthy and thriving. On the other hand, bigger or toxic lies can be harmful. You’re telling a big lie to your spouse by telling her that you were working late when you were actually having a hot time with a colleague. This types of lies fall into a whole different category, and it isn’t that hard to tell the difference.

The Sin Of Omission
There is a variant on white lies called the “sin of omission.” This is basically when you neglect to tell your partner something that might create some tension in the relationship if it gets exposed. For example; you not telling your current girlfriend or wife that you ran into your ex-lover and later having an innocent cup of coffee together. Like white lies, lies of omission can sometimes be useful in maintaining the peace in a relationship. A recent study by Texas Woman’s University reported that white lies and lies of omission are common in relationships and most people preferred to lie than be lied to. So, for a moment it might seem like a good idea to you to deceive your partner, keep in mind that they won’t feel good as much as you did while telling a lie, when and if the truth gets exposed. Moreover, the study also revealed that more lies equated with less happiness. So be careful, if you’re someone who is habituated in telling lies to your partner, be careful.

The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth
Most people think telling lies becomes an obligation when you’re in a relationship or married. Because being completely honest and always speaking the truth can actually be destructive to a relationship. It’s true you feel better, but your significant won’t. Words have power; so, it is for the best you use them sparsely. Besides, a little mystery can do wonders for a relationship.


Sexless Marriages or Relationships Aren’t Always Relationship Killer

Apart from what’s been told by various relationships experts and written in articles and websites, sex isn't the most important part of a relationship. We’re always being exposed to the greatest and latest ways to improve things in the bedroom, not merely because sex is fun and healthy, but because it’s vital for a strong, healthy and long-term romantic relationship. Right?

Well, that’s the common assumption, but the reality is different. So, what’s a sexless marriage or relationship anyway? Well, “sexless” marriage or relationship is defined as couples having sex ten times or less per year. You might want to ask so are those couples for whom sex isn't their high priority, miserable and in unhealthy relationships? Should they break up? What’s actually happening in their relationships?

A sex-free marriage can work if both partners are comfortable with the arrangement. If one partner wants to have more sex than his/her partner, or more than he/she is comfortable with, then practicing an alternative relationship approach such as polyamory can be an option. With consent from each other, he/she can also consider having an open relationship that includes sex or maintains sexual relationships with outside partners. It's imperative to note that penetrative intercourse isn't a requirement for a couple to be happy and have a great sex life. It’s possible for people to experience fantastic sex with sex toys, hands, mouths as well.

To explain this better here’s what real women, who happen to have little to no sex and yet are happy, loving and in love, have to say about what it's like to be in a satisfying, sexless relationship.

Example#1: Affection Is Key
Candice, 52, who is married for 11 years, didn't realize she was in a sex-free marriage until her husband talked to her about it. To give you some pretext, she hasn't had sex in the five months. Well, there are some real reasons for it such she and her partner’s our work schedules have gotten different, he worked in the morning while she worked as a nurse in the evening. So, the time both come home, all they do is sleep. Candice, however, reiterates that despite the lack of sex, their relationship still feels healthy. They still feel like close friends; they support each other’s jobs, they touch, kiss and cuddle, whenever they can. She said she still feels the same way about her husband like the way she felt on her honeymoon, this despite the fact, the last time they did the deed was eight months ago.

Example# 2: Sex On The Side
Rose H., 44, says her sex-free marriage is different from others. She stated that her marriage isn’t sexless, at least she isn’t. She and her husband have agreed to with each other to see others outside of their marriage – an open marriage, if you say so. Rose H. and her husband agreed to this because of certain circumstances and also they this was the best alternative for them. She said that they decided to opt for this option because they got married young and after being married for 20 years together, they started to have second thoughts they would have been better off if they didn’t marry each other or be in a relationship with other and remained friends. Both also thought of getting divorced, but they did go for any of that as she and her husband were both unsure about what they truly want. The main thing here is a sexless marriage, or a relationship can only work if both partners are on the same page.


Are You In A Struggling Relationship. Here’s How You Can Restore Intimacy

Let’s begin with a question, “Is intimacy in a relationship important?”Most of will answer, “Yes.” Then, why is that couples struggle to stay connected and intimate in their relationships or marriages? This is a question most people find it difficult to answer. If the feelings and intimacy in a relationship are gone, is there a way they can be restored with focus and effort? Fortunately, it can.

Humans need intimacy. It is a basic human need. A romantic relationship needs intimacy. Without it, the relationship will never thrive and will die. So, if intimacy in a relationship is so important for a loving, long-lasting relationship, then why are couples failing to restore it, after it been lost? There are three primary reasons why couples find it difficult to be intimate in their relationship once again when their relationship breaks down.

Here is how you resolve those intimacy issues and restore your intimate connection:

1. Men And Women Look At Intimacy Differently
The key reason couples find it challenging to get intimacy back is that men and women have different takes when it comes to intimacy. For men, intimacy is a need for a physical connection that includes foreplay, holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intimacy, spending time alone together and doing things together. Meanwhile, for the ladies, intimacy is all about an emotional connection, sharing important issues, knowing one another’s hopes and dreams, listening about their husband’s or boyfriend’s day, being able to cry about emotional experiences, and being aware emotionally when emotions are hurt. Men view intimacy as being physical, which includes touching and sex. But, for women, it is all about talking intimately with their partners face-to-face.

2. Fear Of Intimacy
This is one of the main factors why some couples struggle to restore intimacy or even establish it in the first place in their relationships. Being insecure and the fear of getting hurt can seriously block emotional trust in a relationship. If couples are afraid of getting rejected, they’ll have problems to be physically intimate with each other again. Fear of disappointment or failure will prevent us from sharing our desires, expectations, hopes, and dreams, so we settle for less than we truly deserve. Some couples don’t truly engage will their partners because they fear abandonment. Another apparent reason men and women avoid intimacy is they fear they’ll lose their personalities and the qualities that define them. The only way to establish intimacy and save the relationship is to focus on establishing the connection and looking to the future.

3. Unable To Acknowledge The 6 Key Areas Of Intimacy
Most of us think that to have a lasting, fulfilling, and committed relationship, you only need one type of intimacy. But we need more than one type of intimacy for a successful relationship or marriage. Here are the six types of intimacy, such as self-intimacy, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, conflict intimacy, affection intimacy, and dream intimacy.

The bottom line is if we need to have a positive, happy and intimate relationship, we need to maintain a good relationship with ourselves. We need to know what we want and desire in a relationship, what makes us happy, and to know ourselves better at a deeper level. It’s the best approach to overcome any barriers or fears to intimacy.


Unromantic Things Men Do That Disrupts Intimacy In The Relationship

Romance shouldn’t be complicated at all. So, why is that, sometimes, romance becomes tangled with mixed communication and unintended sexual innuendos? Love and intimacy are super important when you’re talking sex with women. But when it comes to physical intimacy, every man should put some thought and effort into how will he initiate sex to make the moment special.

But, unfortunately, some men’s efforts seems predictable, forced, unsexy, or worse, cliché, and it can ruin the mood and the effort to connect with a woman on a physical or emotional level. It’s surprising to see a lot of women complaining that their boyfriends sometimes do things that aren’t only unromantic and turn-offs, it kills of the intimacy in the relationship.

We asked the ladies what exactly that their partners did that was unromantic, and men do to turn-off women but are believed to be romantic by men. So, here’s the list of six things men do that are intimacy killers, according to women.

1. Most women just hate it when their boyfriends grab your boobs while initiating sex. Dude, women, need to be wooed. Your girlfriend wants you to turn her on. She’s not something that you can grab and be felt. Women also don’t like if you touch their breasts first without kissing or any caresses on less sensitive areas.

2. Some men before having sex ask their partners, “Do you want to do it?” There isn’t anything romantic in this question; rather it feels forceful.

3. It’s romantic when you have the habit of putting your head on your girl’s chest. Most guys do that, and it’s no big deal. But, she can feel pretty uncomfortable if you happen to have a beard that is quite prickly.

4. You have a foot fetish.

5. You want to be frisky with your girlfriend, that’s okay. But don’t be too affectionate and forceful when trying to initiate sex with her. It turns them off.

6. You gaslight her to have sex with you.

However, you can keep blaming guys for all the confusion. It’s apparent that women might prefer or appreciate certain forms of affection more while dating, but they started to like them less once the relationship became serious. Things that seemed to be “flirty” or “cute” during the early stages of dating became less effective, but the guys didn’t appear to get hold of it. So, we asked people about what actions they thought were romantic during the dating phase and what’s not romantic when you’re an actual couple?

1. Here’s what they said:

2. Holding hands

3. There's plenty of affection.

4. Affection, but as the relationships mature most women value companionship.

5. Making love in the middle of the night when you’ve kids. Kids change their sleeping routines, and you don’t to see your child walking into your bedroom while you and spouse are doing the deed!

Now, you might be curious to know what actions woman thought were romantic during the dating phase and didn't involve affection? The answer is cooking dinner together. If the meals are big and elaborate it's better, as the relationship matures, couples are satisfied with a pizza as long as the emotional setting is perfect.

So, guys there you have. So, the next time you’re dating someone new or in a relationship, keep in mind the following suggestions as they’ll significantly improve the intimacy and emotional connection in your relationship.


5 Secrets Of Highly Successful Relationships That Have Failing One’s Lack

Thousands or more articles have been written about how to have a healthy, successful long-term relationship or marriage, but most of them seldom focus on the core elements that are important in a romantic relationship. Before we start, let’s make one thing clear – relationships are/or should be easy. It is a myth that we need to dispel right away if we want to make our relationships successful and is simply not true. The grass will always look greener on the other side when it comes to people’s lives because very few couples share the truth of the amount of work and commitment that goes in maintaining a relationship. This is the reason why 50% of marriages end up in divorce.

Relationships are like gardens. If you want to maintain a relationship, you need to nurture it. Even the best relationships in the world require nurturing, constant attention, and work. If you can understand the importance and acknowledge the need for undivided attention and work in your relationship, then be assured you’ve started in the right direction.

In romantic relationships, it’s the little things that count. Just a misspoken word can plunge a couple into a weeks-long feud, while a small insignificant gesture can increase the love in the relationship tremendously. Anyways, when it comes to relationships, particularly, successful relationships, there’s a lot to be learned. Here are five top most important factors of a successful relationship:

Factor#1: Respect
This is by far the most important factor in a healthy, stable relationship. Being respectful to your spouse allows you to accept who he or she is as an individual, without trying to change him or her. Respecting your partner also allows you to listen to one another.

Factor#2: Positive Conflict Management
At times, two people will run into a conflict in any relationship, even in the best ones, simply because they're two different individuals. Couples, who are strong, can take care of their conflicts in a way that gives them the chance to hear to one another’s needs with respect and understanding. This way the couple can become closer to each other.

Factor#3: A Sense of Humor
A decent sense of humor is a great stress-buster in any relationships. In general, successful couples use their sense of humor to help stress in their relationships. Additionally, they’ve developed an attitude that makes it easy for them to go of issues and their grudges rather than holding on to them.

Factor#4: Mutual Support
People grow and change. Similarly, relationships grow and change, too. Couples who are in happy and successful relationships, this process is supported. Instead of forcing the other person in the relationship to change into who they want him or her to be, they accept and encourage each their strengths and uniqueness.

Factor#5: Friendship
If you’re looking for a relationship, and want to be a successful one, then it’s vital that they can support each other. Additionally, it’s been reported sharing information, and even gossiping with your significant other to be connecting. But, remember what kind of information can share and which ones should be kept private and within the boundary of the relationship.


Leave An Emotionally Abusive Relationship Before It’s Too Late

Emotional or physical abuse in relationships is often more widespread than we realize. In fact, it’s been reported that around sixty percent of women have experienced some form of emotional or physical abuse at some point in their current or past relationships. Besides, women, men, are also been reported to be abusive relationships, though it’s less common.

When you’ve been in a relationship, regardless, if it’s a healthy or unhappy one, ending it is a tough decision to make for most people. Things get particularly harder when you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. In fact, it’s been said that getting out from an emotionally abusive relationship is more complicated than any other kinds of unhealthy relationships that involve domestic abuse or other forms of violence. Of course, emotional or physical abuse isn't the sole reason to end an unhealthy relationship; it’s simply the logical thing to do. However, it’s possible to end an unhealthy relationship, and it is necessary. But, there are two options left, 1) Stay in the relationship; and 2) Walk away.

Nonetheless, if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship that has no possibility of revival, here are three steps to leave the relationship, once and for all:

1. Ask For Help
Some things aren't easy to do and ending an unhealthy relationship is one of those things. This particularly true when emotional abuse is involved. But, the situation will certainly improve if you asked for help. Asking for assistance can give you the encouragement that you desperately need and the support to say, “Enough is enough.”

2. Cut All Ties
This is one of the most critical steps in terminating an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Cut all kind of ties and connections are a very effective way to get out from an emotionally abusive relationship. It means to remove your boyfriend or girlfriend from your mind and life. Don’t keep in touch, don’t call, don’t e-mail, don't text, and don’t even drunk dial after clubbing the whole Friday night.

3. Get Back Yourself In The Dating Scene
Despite being in unhealthy or abusive relationships, we see people end their relationships. There is a big reason behind it. And it is loneliness. People are scared of being alone. Some men and women think that they won’t be able to be in a relationship again. In these circumstances, combating that loneliness is the antidote. So, get yourself back out there in the dating scene. Meet new people, go out and try new things, and treat yourself to fun and excitement. Hangout with your friends, and don’t be shy to ask one of your friends or coworkers to introduce you to his or her cousin. The sooner you realize that you aren’t destined to remain single all through your life, the less likely you’ll regret your decision to end your dysfunctional relationship or marriage and make you return to it, which made your life so miserable in the first place.

When you’re in a relationship, and found yourself in an abusive relationship, ending it always the smart thing to do, even if you run the risk of being alone for some time. But, it will open the doors of real happiness in the future.


How To Show Unconditional Love To Your Partner

One of the greatest gifts we can give to a person we love and care is to love him or her unconditionally. But what will you do when the love you’re giving isn’t appreciated by your boyfriend or girlfriend? What will you do when the love you’re giving to him or her makes you think that you’ve been taken advantage of?

When you feel that you’re being taken advantage of when it comes to loving your significant other, it’s time to take an honest look at your relationship. You should the same type of love you give to your boyfriend or girlfriend. You have the full right to ask for it and expect reciprocity from love relationships. And you can achieve this by first loving yourself unconditionally. If you feel the love within yourself, it allows you to give more love to your lover and others around you.

So, how can you do it? How can you show unconditional love to yourself? Below are five tips that will help you with it:

1. Figure out why you feel like you must earn love from others by overplaying it. An easy way to do this by looking for patterns in your past behavior when you loved people who walked out of your life without appreciating you, or even without saying a “thank you.” Look deep within of yourself and your past to locate the answers.

2. Once you find a pattern, treat it as your problem, and take steps in ending it. Start loving yourself in the same way others including your partner, loves you. You can do an act of self-love by developing small love rituals for yourself. This includes buying yourself flowers, gifts, taking a nice vacation, or enjoying your day at the spa on a regular basis.

3. Don't feel guilty. Never thought of being sorry for yourself. This will be hard at first, but no matter what stick with it. You thoroughly deserve the quality and level of love that you put out there.

4. Prepare a affirmations list and read them to yourself every day. This includes assertions such as, “All of my relationships are full of love,” “My girlfriend truly loves and values me,” “My girlfriend genuinely appreciates me,” and so on and so forth.

5. Once you reached a phase in the relationship, where you’re building yourself up, start asking what you need and deserve from your partner. After working hard all day at the office, and taking your wife or girlfriend for a dream dinner date, she’s been asking for, ask her to either wash or fold the clothes. In most cases, once you express your need in a loving way, your significant other will respond positively. If she doesn’t respond the way you expected it to be, be more firm or assertive with your partner about helping you. Still, your partner refuses to comply or give what you want, it’s pretty clear that they’ll not change their behavior and they're in the relationship only to get as much as they can from you.

When you’re dating someone or in a relationship, without unconditional love from your partners, you’ll accomplish nothing. Keep in mind, loving someone unconditionally is all about is giving love without condition and expectation. It’s the only way to gain love, praise, and respect from your romantic partners.


7 Important Questions Need To Ask Your Girlfriend When The Relationship Gets Stagnant

In this digital age, most of us especially those who are in relationships, think that they’re more connected than ever. But it’s the contrary. These days we are less connected than ever, and it’s because people are holding themselves back and expressing their thoughts and feelings into status-worthy updates. If you want to be in a healthy and happy relationship, you need to have a meaningful connection, which is only possible when you’re truly connected. Couples need to be connected as we are always changing.

Below are seven questions that will help to understand your girlfriend's world better and stay connected with her on a deeper level:

1. What has been the biggest blessing in disguise in your life?
We’ve all witnessed it. We never wondered that something like this would occur. But sometimes the hardest challenges in our lives often lead to something better. So, share your story with your partner and also listen to theirs.

2. What is the first thing you would do if you woke up tomorrow with no fear?
Treat this as a fun question to discover what your girlfriend wants to do in life and aspire to be in the future. Also, don’t forget to show your support for her hopes and dreams. You can also find out what are the reasons your partner procrastinate on while doing something. This will help you to know her fears and connect with her on a different level.

3. Do you like spending time with other people? Does it energizes or drains you?
This question will help you find out whether your significant other is an introvert or an extrovert. Everybody is different. However, be careful when making assumptions. Many people assume that extroverts are fun, exciting and outgoing, while introverts are shy and don't enjoy the company of other people.

4. How would you describe a perfect day for you?
It necessarily doesn't have to be a special day, but finding the answer to this question will help you know how your partner wants to spend or enjoy her time and how this relates to how you spend your time.

5. When making decisions do you follow your head or your heart?
This question will reveal whether your girlfriend is a feeler or a thinker. Most men and women usually have their own way while important decisions, especially where it comes to relationships. But, remember, to let your partner slip away when she says she needs both.

6. When was the last time your cried?
We all cry when we are happy or sad. Even the most insensitive or strongest people go soft at times. Try to get an open, honest answer from your partner, but ensure she feels safe and secure enough to share something that is very personal like this with you.

7. How do prefer to end a long day?
Finding an honest answer to this question will help you to learn more about your spouse. Also, you can use her answer to surprise or do something exciting and unexpected with them in the future.

The bottom line is while looking for love or if you’re already dating someone, these questions are great to know more about your partner. Start talking about these issues and spend time getting to know each other every week.


Surprise Your Girlfriend At Work Using These Tips

Finding a girl that’s right for you is already difficult, doing something to keep her stay with you forever is even more challenging. We know that you love your girlfriend a lot, but trying something new to surprise her, will make her feel special and keep the romance in romantic your relationship burning. And that’s what all girls really like to feel – special. But, most guys think that all girls expect big gifts from their boyfriends, but that’s untrue. Instead, in most situations, little acts of kindness and true love or a few surprises will make feel happy and truly amazed.

So, what can you do to surprise your girlfriend and make her feel surprised while at work on the weekdays? Below are five ways on how to surprise your girlfriend:

1. Get Her Something Little
All girls expect love gifts from their boyfriends, but those don’t have to be fancy or expensive all the time. Your girlfriend will like your present anyways if she realizes that you put all your thought and feelings into it, instead of getting her something expensive to impress her. Sometimes little gifts like a rose, a box of chocolates, or some homemade cookies will surprise her. Don’t worry about any particular occasion or day, you can get your partner anything and whenever you feel like to surprise her and express your love. Another important tip to remember, personalized gifts are more highly appreciated such as giving her favorite singer’s latest album, her favorite writer’s latest book, etc.

2. Write Her A Handwritten Love Letter
This might sound old-fashioned, but sending your girlfriend a handwritten love letter is always a nice way to surprise your girlfriend. Sure, you call her, send her texts and emails each day, but these don’t have the sentimental value which hand-written love letters have, even though sometimes love letters aren’t as convenient like calling or messaging. Your girlfriend will be surprised and will appreciate these loving, thoughtful letters and will cherish them forever.

3. Help Her With The Chores
Even to this day, some men think that chores are the responsibility of women. If you’re living with your girlfriend, she’ll happy and appreciate you if you help her with the chores that need to be done every day like cooking, washing dishes, shopping for groceries, vacuuming, etc. So, surprise her sometimes by washing the dishes, or doing the laundry before she gets home from work. If your girlfriend is the one who goes to the supermarket every weekend for groceries, tell her to relax at home, and do the shopping yourself. Believe me, her love for you will go up by many notches!

4. Cook For Her Sometimes
It is a well-known fact that a man who can cook are said to be incredibly hot and sexy. So, if you want to surprise your girlfriend and to be crazy for you, consider learning some culinary skills. She’ll appreciate you if you can cook her the food or the dishes that she likes or only prepare the meals that you cook the best. And, if you feel super confident in your cooking skills, then make her a gourmet meal and her friends.

5. Plan A Surprise Trip
If you’re in a relationship, you probably know that every girl likes the idea to go a trip with her boyfriend and doing something fun, exciting or romantic. So, rather than just asking her to take her wherever she likes, she’ll be more than impressed if you made an effort to prepare and plan a proper outing and to experience something different which she never expected.


Relationship Tips – Money Can Put Your Relationship At A Major Risk

Apparently, the more money you’ve, the more your problems are. Most couples are focused on their sex lives and can they handle or resolve arguments, but many of them hardly ever think there could be something else that can ruin their relationships. Yes, it’s money. So, if you want to keep your marriage or relationship on track, here is one-way money could be taking your relationship towards the rocks.

So, how can you money put your relationship at a significant risk? The simple answer is your credit score. This might come as a surprise to you because most people will agree that your credit score will always be popping up to ruin your day. It is true credit scores isn’t a romantic topic to discuss with your date over a candlelit dinner. Nonetheless, it’s an important subject that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

While talking about credit scores and relationships, you shouldn’t be confrontational, especially if you’ve suspicion that your boyfriend or girlfriend might have weaker credit than you. Instead, discuss the matter in a lighthearted way.

When talking about money this approach is highly preferred. Say something like my friend’s girlfriend is having a problem in paying her credit card bills. It scares me if someone isn’t able to pay their debts on time. So how do you think I can help her? See, this way you can start having the conversation with your partner without accusing anyone of anything. Talking about finances in this way will also help you to get a sense of your partner’s finances and spending habits, as well as feel complacent in sharing your experiences. Another important thing worth noting here is you shouldn’t move in or marry someone without knowing the current situation of both of their debts and spending habits.

So, what will happen if you or your partner has a bad credit score?

One major problem of having a poor credit rating is the difficulty of getting a mortgage. Even if you manage to secure one, the interest rate will be much higher than usual. This is by far one of the biggest impacts of bad credit. That’s not it; it goes even further. Landlords won’t hesitate in approving a lease. If your credit score is appalling, it’s highly possible that you may not even be able to rent a home or an apartment or even a car. Moreover, if your credit is bad, utility companies will demand that you put down a security deposit. A poor credit score will also put you in a disadvantageous position while applying for jobs and buying a car or any other vehicle.

So, what can you do to keep your credit score from deteriorating? It’s simple.

    1. 1. Always pay your bills (loans, mortgages, credit card balances, etc) on time and don’t miss any payments.

 

    1. 2. Be careful about how much you owe and spend.

 

    3. Discuss having a joint bank account with your spouse.

The bottom line is dating someone with poor credit isn’t that bad. You can put all of your debts in your name, but that’s a big risk to take. So, if you’re looking for a relationship, and notice that your credit score is below average, work on raising it.