Category Archives: Relationships

The 1 Fight All Couples Ready To Have to Tie The Knot HAVE!

There isn’t any relationship where couples don’t fight or argue with each other. But, there is one fight that all couples have before they get married. What is it you might ask? Well, it’s the fight for control. Marriage should be all about bringing two different worlds together and experience the shared feelings of joy and happiness of life and love. But, this exciting and sometimes overwhelming transition consists of disagreements, conflicts, friction, and a natural resistance to change.

So, what should be done to address the pattern of control before it begins or before things get out of control? Here are some ways to let go of your fight for control, whether it's an argument about your marriage, or something else:

Don’t Just Sweep It Under The Rug
Avoiding something will only lengthen the conflict and will make the problems messier and complicated to deal with the next time. Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, insecure or angry with your significant other about something, have a conversation about it in a soft tone. Be brave, be respectful, and be assertive with your partner when it comes to conflict and other differences. Keep in mind; control is all about winning. If you realise that 80 percent of all the stuff couples argue about are can’t be fully resolved, then the primary intention should be more about understanding and respect each other’s personal opinions and point of view, and less about being who is right.

Know Yourself
The main reason why couples fight is to exert his or her control in the relationship. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of how you tend to fight for control. Are you willing to shame your partner, put others down, or simply shame or humiliate yourself? Are you thinking of playing the victim card, or manipulate through entitlement or blame? When you feel sad, disconnected, lonely, or anxious about certain facets marriage, do you hide or withhold your emotions from your boyfriend or girlfriend? Being self-aware takes vulnerability, carefulness, and a willingness to accept responsibility for your role in all the conflicts you’ve and will have in the relationship. Remember, uncovering your tactics isn’t something your spouse is expected to do. Being accountable for your part in the conflict will allow you to be more honest as well as assertive in those moments.

Revisit Your Connection
What are you doing at staying connected to one another? Before the wedding, it’s highly important that both of you validated by each other despite the fights and arguments you both are having. It’s imperative to maintain an intentional connection with your partner by responding to your partner’s bids for connection both physical and emotional. Put a high priority on date nights and spend quality time together without talking about the wedding. Control is an illusion which you’ll never fully be able to change, know or control with 100 percent certainty that your significant other will be there for you and remain committed to the relationship at all times. We can’t guarantee that your union will be healthy and an everlasting one. This is the risk you have to take of being in a relationship.

4 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Boyfriend!

You can’t have a healthy, lasting relationship if there is a lack of communication in the relationship. Healthy communication is vital in a healthy relationship, and most men are willing to answer any questions their girlfriends throw at them. However, there are few questions that you should never ask your boyfriend unless you want him to be super angry and irritated to you.

Here are four questions to never ask a man, no matter what.

1. Do You Think I Look Fat?
Most men resent this question. Why? Because, first of all, there is no clear or right answer to this question. If he says “no,” his partner might accuse him of lying. If he says, “yes,” in a brutal and honest way, it will only hurt her feelings. Guys are attracted to confident and strong women, who love themselves. But, asking questions like these will make you look needy and insecure.

2. What Was Your Ex Like?
Consider what your intentions are, before you ask your man this question. Are you trying to get an insight into what are his preferences in women, or what types of women he feels attracted to? This question shows that you are nosy, curious, and feel jealous that he's been in love with someone before you came. Now that you've come to understand why you asked this question consider this: does it matter? If your man isn’t dating her anymore and is with you now, what else you need to know that’s important. As we said earlier, asking questions like these will make you look needy and insecure. Your man ended his previous relationship for a reason. Therefore, don't give him a reason to look back.

3. Will You Call Me When You Reach There? Will You Text Me When You Reach There? Will You Text Me When You Are Leaving? Will You Call Me When You Go To Bed?
Guys love to call and text their girlfriends. But, remember they do this because when they want to do, not for the reason that you owe them to do this, or feel like they have to. A guy will slowly begin to resent you more and more each time when he feels like he has to call or text you and “report or document” his every move or anything he does, or anywhere he feels like going. You might feel safe and secure getting his phone calls and texts, but that won’t make him love you more. Rather it will be much better for you enjoy the attention he will give you if your guy makes his own choices about what he wants you to know, and let him tell you that he's thinking about you and that you're very important in his life.

4. How Do You See Us After 10 Or 15 Years?
Heck, many men don't have a 5-year plan for their relationship, let alone a 10 or a 15-year plan. Guys like to live in the moment, and they enjoy every second they spend with the woman they genuinely love and care about. However, this doesn’t mean that guys don't want long-term goals. It’s different for them. When a guy is in a committed, intimate relationship with you, he is not actually thinking how the relationship will turn out after ten years down the road. Most likely, he's happy with how things are going and just wants it to be it that way.

How Not To Feel Insecure In A New Relationship

It’s wonderful being in a new relationship. Getting to know that new special someone, getting butterflies in your tummy while looking at them – it’s an amazing feeling and experience. You both holding hands, share your hopes and dreams for the future, great sex, and feeling insecure. Wait. What? Feeling vulnerable? Where on earth did that come from? Yes, when we become attached to someone we love deeply; a sense of insecurity can show its ugly face because we are afraid of loss. If left uncontrolled this fear of loss can harm your new relationship.

When you're feeling insecure, here are some ways that will bring back the confidence in your new relationship:

Tell Yourself That You’re Awesome In Every Way
Think about that man you met when you were single and who wasn’t questioning your self-worth. This man is the man who made you feel insecure. This is the man who has decided to date an awesome like you. Remember you’re an awesome woman in every way. Nobody can be you. Also, keep in mind that you’re so awesome that more than one guy wants to date you. And if the guy you’re dating can’t appreciate who you are, then it’s his loss. By the way, you have a job that you love; ran in marathons, have great friends you love to spend time with, and so on and so forth. How awesome is that?

Live Your Life
If you’ve met someone, then don’t sit around idle and wait to for him or her to call you for a date. This is nothing but a waste of time. You have a life to live. So, enjoy it, live it. Do your work well, and try to get that promotion. Take yoga classes. Play with your dog. Hang out with friends. Do all of the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself. Also doing all the things that you like doing will make you active and busy, and in the meantime, if a guy reaches out to you, he‘ll keep wondering why you aren't busy with him. And that’s a good thing.

Remember You're Not Alone Who Is Feeling This Way
The more attached we are to someone we love, the more we fear to lose them. This fear of losing someone we are deeply connected to might change or impact us in ways that might seem foreign. For example, a highly confident woman might get replaced with a shy woman you used to before you started looking for a relationship. But do you know that this new person in your life might be feeling the same way too? They might like to call or text, or would like to take you on a date. You might find them needy. And that's a good sign and will make you feel less insecure.

Unplug Yourself From Social Media
When you’re in a new relationship, there is one thing that you should stop doing – spending time on social media. Social media can lead us down the road to despair and loneliness, even in good times. Stop looking at how other people are living, and then comparing it with yours. It’s a total waste of time. Don’t stalk your suitor on social media because it would only hurt you, if you see him doing things with someone that he shouldn’t be doing, or if you just can’t find him. Therefore, go live your life again. Don’t just sit around and stop looking what everyone else’s life looks like.

Harsh Truths About Relationships No One Wants To Confess

Dating these days is simple, easy and convenient, that is if you prefer it that way. But, some people will argue of dating being easy or simple ranting that dating and relationships these days are so complicated, and nobody wants any commitment. It's true to some extent, but if you want to be in a real, stable, long-lasting relationship, you need to have depth and emotional engagement in the relationship. Also, there are some things that you’ll need to admit to yourself and to the man or woman you’re interested in before you can commit to a relationship.

Here are some undeniable truths about relationships people should understand:

1. You need to be happy with yourself before you can make someone happy. Of all the relationships you’ll have in your life, the most important one is the one you’ve with yourself. If that one isn’t good, none of your others relationships are going to be successful.

2. Eventually, things are going to suck in the end. If you’re expecting that your relationship will have a fairy tale ending, that’s not going to happen. The reality is that every relationship will face challenges. You’ll have family issues, illnesses, arguments, disagreements, disappointments, and so on and so forth. The sooner you be accepting to these harsh realities of relationships and reach an understanding that things aren’t going to be perfect, the sooner you’ll be settled in a committed relationship. Nothing will ever be the way you had imagined before you were in a relationship. That’s the real beauty of relationships that we absolutely have no idea how it’s going to look like in the future.

3. Most people expect way too much from their dates. You need to have a certain level of standards for yourself, and make sure that you never settle for less than you deserve. Give your energy and time to people who truly deserve it. But, some people tend to take a little too far and expect way too much from people. It’s important to be flexible and realize that no one is perfect. Sometimes, you will need to make compromises and be comfortable and accept people for who they are, rather what you expect them to be.

4. Actions speak louder than words – and they do really! Just telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that you love and care about them isn’t enough. You’ll also need to put some effort consistently to show them. And, if you do it for them, they also have to do the same for you.

5. Leave your past behind you. We all have our pasts, and more or less we are all affected by it. We are always reminded of our pasts, but we cannot live in it unless we want to repeat it over and over again. We can’t forget or discard our pasts. Instead, we need to take lessons from it and learn from it. We need to take only the good parts and get rid of the bad ones.

6. Be prepared to lose a lot before you can win. If you’ve failed to secure a relationship only after being only to three dates and you’re ready to give up, you need to ask yourself if you’re really ready for such a commitment. You see, dating is a lot like playing poker, sometimes you’ve to lose a lot before you win. But, if you don’t play or in this case date again because you’re afraid of losing, or getting rejected again, then you’ll never be able to score a relationship.

How To Get Back Affection In Your Relationship If It’s Lost

For most people, affection is what makes a relationship a relationship. If you’re longing for affection in your relationship or marriage right now and want to be kissed, hugged, or just want to hear the words, “I love you,” then you are not alone. Hundreds and thousands of couples are longing to be desired and cherished. If you are upset and frustrated because your relationship lacks affection, you will yourself unimportant, lonely, ignored and unloved.

If you are at this phase in your relationship, then read on to find out what works and what doesn’t in a relationship devoid of affection:

Don’t Bring It Up
Don’t talk about the lack of affection in your relationship, not even occasionally with boyfriend or girlfriend. Talking about it will not get your partner to change. Ask or begging feels terrible, even if your man or woman eventually tries to give it to you. This might or feel good to you at the moment, but the main thing is that it never works in the long-term. So our advice is: don't do it! It is okay for you to be cherished and desired if you realize that there is a lack of affection, but asking, begging or even joking about affection feels horrible.

By ordering affection, your significant another will, in fact, be reluctant to be affectionate with you. And when that happens, it’s really painful. It will not only harm you emotionally and physically, but it will also make your partner run far away from you. Rather than telling them what to do or not being able to control their habits or behavior, develop a habit of showing them love and appreciation, and make them happy in different ways by gestures, gifts, respect, and so on and so forth.

Avoid The Affection Trap And Lack Of Physical Intimacy
Some couples feel frustrated because they aren’t having sex as much as they did before. Some couples have already accepted or became habituated with sexless relationships. Couples who are facing this issue tell that their partners are never in the mood and turn it down after they initiate it. They get frustrated and discouraged about it and no longer bother to make an effort. Meanwhile, the other person complains that they don’t like getting physically intimate with their lovers because they ignore them all day and fed up with the lack of affection. The thing one partner wants sex and isn’t getting it, so they stop being affectionate, while the other party doesn't want to have because they want affection. If you want to get rid of this vicious circle, one or both need to give first.

Focus On What You Can Control
When you’re in a relationship, you can never control someone the way you want to. In fact, controlling behavior in a romantic relationship will lead it to distance, resistance, and break up. But, there is something that you can control; you and your happiness. Focus on being fun, happy, easygoing, and the flirting, love and affection will flow naturally. Most men or women admit they have not been affectionate towards their significant others because they feel unhappy and stressed. By focusing more on your happiness and self-care, you will be more attractive and can give them the affection that they need.

Are You Having Less Sex Than Before? Here’s Why

Having less sex now than before? If yes, you're not alone. When it comes to physical intimacy, every couple has their own optimal levels. This is similar to every person who’s emotional and physiological needs are unique. The same can be applied to relationships, as well. These days, sexless marriages are becoming more common, especially in long-term relationships.

So, why is that couples are having less sex than their parents? One main factor that can impact our sexual wellness is stress. Recent research found that in the last 5 to 10 years, men and women are experiencing high levels of personal and financial stress. When we feel anxious and stressed out, we lose our desires to have sex. Such financial troubles are more rampant than before. Recent financial and economic turmoil have led chronic unemployment, massive credit card debt, bankruptcy, and foreclosures. These unfortunate events have affected severely singles and couples in huge numbers.

Things can get worse when one of the partners blames or takes out their frustrations on the other person for his or her financial stress, rather than the external economic forces in society. These arguments build up negative emotions that might lead to more physical and emotional stress. And when you’re dealing with sex you avoid sex with your spouse.

Then there is that nowadays most couples have careers. This can make it increasingly hard for couples to relax and make time to be physically intimate with each other. If one of you is interested in some action and the other person isn’t, then it can result in anger, resentment, and frustration. Partners will feel less appreciated for their job and the contribution they’re giving in the relationship. If this keeps on continuing, then the accumulated undesired for sex and frustration may consequently pave the way for lack of interest and attraction for each other. If you’ve been toiling hard all day, and in some cases, all night, it is hard to be sexy and passionate lovers when you get home.

Another primary factor that can impact our sexual well-being is financial stress. Uncontrollable financial stress might force both partners to work more and being exhausted. Sex requires both mental and physical energy, and if you’re exhausted, you won’t have the energy or desire to engage in any passionate love talk, let alone sex. Physical exhaustion can also rob of our good night sleep, which will make you feel tired and less energetic to have sex or spend some quality time together. For guys, your physical exhaustion can lead sexual dysfunction that can affect your ability to perform sexually or satisfy your partner. The longer you go without sex, the lesser you want to have sex, which will build up the frustration even more.

In a healthy relationship, sex is vital and beneficial in some ways, both emotional and physical, though it’s not always necessary all the time. Physical intimacy enhances our sense of connection and relatedness with partners, and sex also releases endorphins that make us feel good. So, whatever the reasons are, talking with your significant about your sexual desires or needs are, and don’t hesitate to tell him or him whatever they might be. If it’s useful, just do it!

Do Arguments With Your Partner Make Relationship Thrive?

Yes, you read that right. But how? You see there are no relationships in real life, where couples don’t argue or fight with each other. Despite what you see in TV shows and movies, no relationships are perfect. If you’re new in the dating scene, keep in mind, that it’s perfectly normal for you to have an argument with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Most couples do. So, relax.

But, it’s also necessary to know that if the arguing and fighting among the two people in a romantic relationship cross the limits, it can end up in a breakup, and no one wants that. Fighting constantly over serious issues, and sometimes petty things also mean you don't love each other enough. But, you can escape the fact that if you’re in love, you’ll fight. Yes, you read that right – again.

It doesn't matter, if you’re dating your soul mate, arguments are inevitable. You and your partner can be fully compatible with each other in every way. You both share the same interests, beliefs, and ideas. But, there will be some areas or topics that you’ll have a different view. You started dating your boyfriend or girlfriend in the hope of spending the rest of your life with him or her, and withholding your alternative feelings and thoughts isn’t the right thing to do if you want a healthy, lasting relationship.

If you withhold your thoughts and emotions inside of you, then the resentment and anger will just keep piling up, and eventually, will come bursting out, that will not only hurt all the people around you, who cares and loves you, but it will harm your relationship. But, it’s critical to understand that there are some differences between healthy fighting and unhealthy fighting.

You and your boyfriend or girlfriend each has your own views and opinions to stand to, and often at the brink of cutting each other off to prove your point? While arguing do, you notice that in your arguments, you and your significant other have a tendency to put off each other and their opinions down? If yes, then probably it's time to make a change in the way you argue or fight, as all these are indications of unhealthy fighting.

On the other hand, healthy fighting is when you wait for the other person to finish before you respond. In a healthy argument, you get the opportunity to be in your spouse’s shoes and understand what it is that’s making them feel bothered, concerned, worried, or upset about. However, that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any shouting or yelling and that you’ve to agree to their points and give in to their demands. It means that you’re doing your best to address whatever is annoying you, and trying to take care of your partners needs at the same time.

When you’re in a relationship, the key to a healthy fight is excellent communication. Communication during the fight is crucial because you can express your feelings appropriately, and understand how the other person is feeling. Nonetheless, it's important that you communicate before you fight. Pause for a moment, sit down with your partner, and have a discussion about the rules that both of you should follow when you fight. For example, neither of you can interrupt the other when he or she is talking. Remember, every relationship has its fights, and there is no perfect partner. Keep that in mind, and your relationship will only grow stronger!

3 Building Blocks Every Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationship Is Built On

Many couples complain that they’ve to spend a lot of time together while dating, but things changed dramatically after they got married. In other words, things changed for them as a couple when they started doing things together. They tried all kinds of stuff together now and then, including the “fun things.” Then things started to get real. They’ve more bills to pay, began thinking of having babies, having babies, and so on. It appears that the phrase, “happily ever after” is never going to happen in their relationship. Both got worn out, stressed, and don’t have time for themselves anymore. They become frustrated with life together. They don’t want to or are simply too afraid to talk they would like to have happened in their relationship.

Healthy couples are intentional about spending time together, and not just to spend the time to have some fun. Let’s take a look at these three building blocks every healthy, long-lasting relationship is built on –

Building Block #1: Shared Values
You need to understand what each person in the relationship believes in. Is being faithful relevant to them? So you share the same values and opinions about what he or she thinks is right or wrong? Is it necessary to treat one another with respect? What does it mean to respect someone and how do you show it? Is it imperative for a happy, stable marriage to discuss these questions? What about issues related to shared values, particularly if someone in a relationship wants to get married?

Building Block #2: The Need To Spend Time Talking About And Acting On One’s Shared Goals
We all have goals. They’re our objectives of our life or what we want to aspire to be in the future. Think about where do want to see yourself as a couple in the next two years, five years, eight years, etc. People have short-term goals and long-term goals. Short term goals might be met within a few months or a year or two, while the long-term goals may be fulfilled within five or ten years into the future. For example, some couples may have an intention of starting a family or buy a bigger house, etc. Some people may have a goal or a dream to set up their own business or restaurant. It is critical for couples to spend time communicating about their goals for the future, and what steps they need to take and implement to achieve these goals.

Building Block #3: Having Shared Interests
To stay in a healthy, loving relationship, couples aren’t required do everything together, but they need to at least, find something that can be done jointly. One good way to start is to make a list of things to try doing together that are also fun and exciting for both of you. It can bike or hiking together, walking or jogging together, playing cards or board games, playing sport with each other, working out together, etc. The list is endless. Even if you see that there is nothing for you to do together, try it anyway. It’s important.

When you’re in a relationship, couples who intentionally curate shared values, goals, and interests will be always each other company and spending time together. This will make their relationship grow healthier and stronger in the future.

What Acts Are Counted as Cheating?

What kinds of actions can be counted as cheating? There aren’t any absolute answers as the infidelity is a huge gray area. And romantic relationships are constantly changing. They transform from one thing into another and a variety of forms without warning like casual dating, just friends, hanging out, getting back together, exclusive relationship, engaged, and so forth. Each form comes with its own rules and expectations, and to make things even more complicated, the two people in the relationship won’t know or may not agree on what type of relationship they’re actually in.

For these reasons sometimes it can become difficult to determine when you’ve crossed the line. There might be something that you’ve done that can come across as cheating to you, but actually, it’s not. Anyways, here are some questions that will help to clarify the issue for yourself:

1. Even if you aren’t sure that you’re cheating, would your boyfriend/girlfriend say you are?
Are you aware of your partner’s expectations? Do you find those expectations acceptable to you? If not, do you assume that those expectations are unreasonable to you at your present stage in the relationship? If you think they’re, then the two of you need to have a serious conversation to list of what you consider appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

2. Are you enigmatic about harmless things?
Sometimes we need to hide things like site memberships, passwords, social interactions with attractive men and women, coworkers, friends, etc., not because we are doing anything questionable, but simply we want to make things easy for us in case we tend to do something questionable in the future. If this relates to you, then it isn’t a good sign as it reflects that you might not be cheating with your boyfriend or girlfriend at the moment, but you’re open to the opportunity in the future.

3. Are you predicting the next step?
Even if someone has been observing your actions and behavior might conclude that you aren’t breaking any rules, are you still secretly interested to discover how the third party responds and what might develop? Do you notice any subtle shifts in how the dynamics of the relationship feels every time you interact with the third party? Do you think it’s progressing toward something that isn’t completely platonic in nature? Are you eagerly looking forward to every progressive step before it happens?

4. Do you think that you will be uncomfortable if your significant other behaved the way you do?
A helpful way to make a change in the situation and decide by yourself whether you get disappointed if your significant other acted in the same way as you did. If you have a friendship with a coworker or friend of the opposite sex that has become a little intimate, ask yourself whether you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to have that kind of relationship with their friends or in the workplace.

5. Find Out the real motive behind the interaction
When you’re dating someone, and the issue of cheating comes up, then the whole thing can be boiled down to one thing: intent. Ask yourself why do you want to talk or flirt with that hot girl in the gym? Why are calling or texting your ex? Why made to excite in meeting that person for coffee? Remember, sometimes, even the best and most self-aware men and women deceive themselves about their real intentions. Therefore, be true and honest with yourself, so that you can be honest with your partner.

5 Signs That He’s Still In Love With His Ex

Men, who are recently out of a relationship, and are still in love with their exes, significantly affects to date someone new, and connect with them. Women, who are dating these kinds of men, realize that they’re finding it hard to be close and intimate with them. They ultimately had to end the relationship, as the relationship isn’t going anywhere. Had they knew the signs that their date is still in love with his ex, things would have turned out much better.

Here are five signs that he's still crazily in love with his ex.

1. He Won’t Fully Commit To You
You’ve been dating him for a few weeks or months, and you’ve thinking to make your relationship exclusive. It makes perfect sense at this point. But, when you have a conversation about it with your boyfriend, he tries to avoid it and tells you that he like things the way they’re now. Apparently, this means that he’s not fully committed to you and the relationship. Why? Because he's still hoping that he will reunite with his ex. Break up with him ASAP.

2. He Talk About Her And Finds Reasons To Talk About Her
The possibility of this happening is when you and your boyfriend have mutual friends who are friends with the ex. Suppose that you guys are having dinner, and are talking about one of those friends, and don’t get surprised when you see the whole conversation becomes of the ex. It’s like when you have a crush on a guy; and you’ll start talking about him, despite that it’s driving everyone else crazy.

3. He Still Wants To Talks To Her Or Hangs Out With Her
People remaining friends with their exes aren’t at all uncommon, particularly if they’ve been friends before they were in a relationship. But, the real problem arises if he’s going out with her and their mutual friends, and doesn’t bring you along, or even worse doesn’t even tell you about it. This is a huge red flag in your relationship that shows he’s not over her. The thing is he doesn’t you to see her with him, and he’s probably hoping may they both can patch things up, and reconcile one day.

4. He Still Likes/Comments On Her Photos On Facebook
It’s harmless in liking a few pictures and posts here and there on Facebook and commenting on their photos or status every time your boyfriend’s ex posts a photo or status. But, if you see that he’s “liking or commenting” it, and you’ll feel concerned that he’s doing it, despite the fact that your partner doesn’t speak or meet in real life, it means that he’s not over her. We can safely tell that your partner is stalking her on social media, and trying to keep tabs on her.

5. He keeps comparing you to her
Arguing with your partner is common when you’re dating or in a relationship. But, did you notice that every time you get into any argument, he keeps telling, “Jessica will never do this to me,” or “Debby always did that,” it means that he’s comparing you to her? Bringing up the ex is never good in an argument, and if the ex is being mentioned at all, then he’s not over her.