Category Archives: Relationships

My New Girlfriend Is A Serious Flirt! What Should I Do?

So this is the scenario. You’ve met a nice gal and have been seeing her a few weeks, and it’s going well. In the weekend you took her to your friend’s barbecue. After having the meal and a few beers later, she started flirting with all of your buddies. You can’t understand if this just the beers are working, or if it’s her! After a while, you noticed that she was getting a little too close with one of your friends, and what’s worse you caught getting touchy feely with him. You felt sad and angry. Your friends started taunting you that your new girlfriend is a serious flirt.

You need to bring her back and ask her to take care of her flirtatious behavior. But, how and what need to say her? It sucks, and you began to get worried how you will have a serious relationship with her given the fact that you might be dating a woman, who’s looking around for a better option. You hate her acting like this in front of other guys, but you also don’t want to come across as a jealous dude.

So, what is the best approach here?

The thing is if this was a one-time incident, it is okay to let it go. It’s pretty common to see people act or behave a little “off” around new people. In this case, it might be the beers that have resulted in this behavior, or maybe she got a little overwhelmed overcompensated with your friends being extra friendly to her. However, if her “flirty behavior” has occurred more than once, it’s time you look into the issue, particularly if want to have a long-term relationship with her.

Before you bring the issue up for discussion, here is a list of things you should not do:

1. Don’t talk about your friends’ reaction to the flirting. If you do, you’ll see her acting weird around them forever.

2. Don’t accuse or blame her of flirting with your friends. She won’t consider it flirtatious; rather she’ll think her behavior friendly.

3. Don’t ask or tell her to act or behave a certain way or differently. This will only make you appear controlling and insecure.

4. Never issue her an ultimatum. Don’t tell to smile or laugh at your friends in a sexy or inviting way, or else you’ll break up with her. It will make you look slightly aggressive, inconsiderate, and inflexible.

The right approach here will be by addressing your feelings, not her behavior. Tell your girlfriend that you felt a little jealous and insecure when she was touching one of the friend’s hands or placing her head on his shoulders. Also, tell her that you’re still getting to know her and that you aren’t used to feeling like this. End it by saying that perhaps the two of you can talk about this and she can help you out.

This response will work because you aren’t accusing or faulting her for acting a certain way. Rather, this response will encourage her to be more mindful of your feelings and make her realize that the way she behaves or acts affects your relationship. But, if she doesn’t make any effort to take care of her actions, and make you feel comfortable, she’s not for you. It’s for the best that you break up with her and date someone else.


Want To Be A Good Partner? Then Be A Good Friend To Yourself!

Being committed to a relationship is hard, but it can be worth it. Unless you prefer to be alone or don’t want anyone to share your life with you. When it comes to committed relationships, there is the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of it. We get attracted to people to fulfill some need or desire within ourselves. Ultimately, we need to go beyond that and progress to the point of learning, sharing and compromising by keeping our personal identities intact.

The main problem is that many men and women looking for a relationship don’t know what’s their own identity is or what defines them as an individual. You might have been told how you were supposed to be, act, talk and taught what you weren’t allowed to be. If you like to see as a mature emotional human, you need to learn from the ages and various stages of personal development while learning, sharing and compromising from friends, mates and romantic partners in the process. But, you need to be in a relationship with it. You can’t do it alone.

Therefore, if you’re in a committed relationship or marriage, what are the things that you can learn from the difficulties you faced that are hurtful, upsetting, or destructive? If you did something wrong, what did you really expect? How were you hurt? How did you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend? What are the needs that aren’t met? Why weren’t they met? Or why should they be fulfilled? How do you feel if you’re projecting your needs onto your partner?

You see, over time, relationships, especially long-term relationships, are the best tutors we have for ourselves. If we don’t resolve or heal our problems or wounds, they’ll resurface again and again with the man or the woman you’re having a relationship with. A person who has is strong internally and has high self-esteem and confidence will not feel defeated or exhausted if any fighting or arguments happen in a relationship. This person will not take it personally and will communicate it with his or her partner from love instead of anger. But, we all know that is easier said than done.

People get involved in relationships to feed a need. These wants or desires need to be nurtured just like a garden. Relationships are like gardens. They are nurtured and planned, and they must be fed, needed, and cared for. Just like an automatic sprinkler that sprinkles water on a lawn or garden when it needs water automatically, in a relationship whenever there is a need, it should be met automatically. If you need to be loved, appreciated, respected, desired, etc., ask yourself if there is the way that these desires can be met with an automatic sprinkler system.

So, who else in your life can meet that need? If you can fulfill those needs by setting up an automatic system like that, then it’s evident that you aren’t as needy in your primary relationship. And if you see your significant other that can help you with it, then you have the ability to ask yourself what you can do for her or him out of love, caring and nurturing.


Over Sharing Can Ruin Your Relationship

When it comes to romantic relationships, over-sharing has always been an issue but has become more intense in the age of texting and email. It appears that everyone seems to know a lot about everyone. And this can create a bad situation and bad impression particularly for a woman meeting a man for the first time. So, what can you do about it?

Here are some ways you can stop over sharing on a date:

Stop Putting All Your Information Out There
There are something that only your closest friends know, and it is best you keep it that way. This is also true for dating sites and social media sites including Facebook. Bad guys are lurking everywhere who can find your information, share it with others that you don’t want to, or manipulate that information for their personal gains where you’ll be the ultimate loser. So, don't put anything on the internet that you don’t want your parents, grandparents, siblings, co-workers, etc., to see. Don’t share or post any sexy or intimate photos of your life. One simple mistake and these pictures will show up everywhere. So, beware.

Be Cautious Of Your Surroundings
We are more distracted than ever thanks to constantly looking at our phones and texting. You can get into a serious accident, or your child could be falling out of the stroller if you're not paying attention. So, put down your phone for a while, so you can devote more attention to who is around, who is watching you, are they taking pictures of you, and so on and so forth. If you spend more time being aware of your surroundings, you’ll limit your tendency to over sharing, and that is a very commendable thing for any woman to do.

Limit Your Availability
Don't be available to everyone you meet every day. Take some time off your laptop and your phone every day. Go for a walk, read a book, or take a nap. Stop answering your calls or replying to your texts and emails for a while. Take some time each day away from your phone. This will help you to learn self-restraint and self-control. Looking at your phone or texting while on a first date isn’t only rude; it creates an overall bad impression about you. When you’re on a date, your full attention and focus should be on him or her. You can do that if you’re looking at your phone.

Talking About Yourself All The Time Isn't Right
On a date, you’ve to observe another person and get to know the other person who is sitting in front of you. Try to find out whether he or she is someone who wants to be around you. Ask questions and listen for answers. Look into his or her eyes and get a sense of who someone is. Sometimes you just need to talk to people in person to know more about them instead of you've read in email, text or on the phone. And you can’t do any of these things if you spend all the time only talking about yourself.

When you’re looking for a relationship, there are a lot of reasons for you to stop over-sharing when you’re on a date, but the main reasons are mental health and wellbeing.


What To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Pulling Away From You While Dating Casually

There are many reasons your girlfriend might be pulling away from you when you’re in a causal relationship. This isn’t only seen in casual relationships, but also in serious relationships as well. Your girlfriend pulling away during the early days of your casual relationships means that she’s just not feeling the romance or passion in it or is getting too much pressure from you. But, you should look into other possibilities as well. It might be that she’s having the family, work, or health issues that are making her feel disinterested in the relationship. However, it’s imperative that you don’t exaggerate the situation that will push her further away.

Here are four tips you can follow when your girlfriend is pulling away from you when you’re in a casual relationship:

Don’t Put Any Pressure On Her
When you’re dating casually, it’s likely that you won’t have access to your partner like the couples have in a committed relationship. So, in this scenario, you might be tempted to text her continuously, sending her long, unending essay about your feelings and your undying love for her, and asking her what you did wrong and what are you doing to fix it. We suggest avoiding this at all costs. If you notice that she’s losing interest or decided to distance herself, the worst thing you can do in this situation is to get her close by texting or messaging her always. It will not help you and will only push her away further.

Give Her Space For A Day Or Two To Reconsider Her Decision
Often, when we see our partners pulling back from the relationship, we assume that a major calamity has hit her in life. When you’re dating casually, you don’t know the person very well. Therefore, it’s common to misread the situation. But, it’s crucial that you don’t freak out as this can quickly push her away from even there, where was absolutely nothing wrong in the relationship. So, give your girlfriend some space for one or two days as this will give her scope to check in with you and let you know if anything was happening in the relationship without your need to ask.

Check In With Her After Couple Of Days
The most important thing is that you don’t exert any pressure on her. But that doesn’t mean you can’t check up on her once, and let her know that you’re there for her. For example, you send her a message saying, “Just want to check on you as you’ve been a bit off lately. I hope all is fine for you and looking forward to chatting with you soon. If you want to share anything, please let me know.” You can see this message sounds like an offer and appears more like a statement instead of a question. This way it doesn’t put pressure on her.

Focus On You
When we’re in relationships, casual or serious, we forget one most critical part of the dating process, taking care of ourselves. Putting all of your focus on yourself is the most powerful thing you can do. No matter how bad things are in your relationship, by focusing on you, you’ll look at things with a healthier and positive attitude and take actions appropriate to that.


Are You Pissed Off At Your Lover? Here’s How To Get Over It

There are no relationships without conflicts. We all have them. We get angry with our friends, our co-workers, our bosses, and our kids. But, it’s our partners with whom we seem to get the angriest. But this anger, this conflict with our significant others can be very destructive to our lives and relationships.

Fortunately, there are ways to get let go of anger and overcome the conflicts in our relationships, and it is way easier than one would think. Below are five ways to get over being pissed off at your lover:

Carefully Appoint The Time To Talk
Things won’t be fruitful when you talk to your partner when you're angry. This way you’ll say things you might not mean to say. After having a fight wait for at least 2 hours before speaking up. Following this approach will calm you down and help you talk more clearly. Also, pick a less stressful time to talk, like going to bed or just after work. Being calm and choosing a less stressful time will help you to have the conversation with good energy and resolve the issues amicably.

Don’t Be Aggressive
This step is crucial, but despite this most of us do without thinking and it gets us nowhere. For example, say your partner is always late from work. Instead of saying him, “Why are you always late? This makes me angry”, consider saying, “I become sad when you're always late from work and I really miss you when aren’t there with me while having dinner.” Notice the difference here. In the first example, your partner will get defensive immediately, and the conversation will be over instantly. On the other hand, in the second case, you’re letting him know about your feelings, and no one can argue with it. It's genuinely how you feel, and it’s the truth. What’s wrong is your spouse being inconsiderate for coming home late. Also, make sure that your partner has understood what you are trying to mean.

Remember We Are All Only Human
All of us make mistakes. Our unwanted actions aren’t a reflection of our feelings or emotions about someone. Instead, they’re the outcome of a variety of things such as time, motivations, distractions, etc., all of which that works work together and gives birth to a troublesome situation. So, the next time you react or get defensive to something your partner does, spare a moment, think about the situation and find out why it happened.

Be Prepared To Apologize And To Forgive
This is said easily than done and can be a hard thing for people to do. But being sorry and be forgiving to all perceived wrongs is one of the most critical parts of any relationship. So, what’s works behind that makes us so hard to that we're sorry? Is it because we can dismiss our anger? Is it because it conveys that we are weak? Is it because we feel embarrassed by our actions? Regardless of our reasons or excuses, we all need to do it or learn how to do it.

So, if you have an argument or a disagreement with your significant other, apologize. And see how the anger de-escalates on both sides. We need to apologize and forgive as withholding anger one of the most destructive forces you can witness in any romantic relationship.


Do You Know Jealousy Is Killing Your Relationship?

Are you too jealous to let love flourish in your relationship? Are you allowing jealousy to cause serious problems in your relationship? Some people think jealousy is cute in a romantic relationship. But, it isn’t. Jealousy is big relationship issue that can quickly ruin your relationship. Jealousy breeds within you and has nothing to do with your partner. So, what are jealous people like? Jealous people are accusatory, suspicious, shaming, smothering, manipulative, and Fearful. Yes, that’s right – jealous people are FEARFUL!

Jealous people are afraid and vulnerable of being betrayed, lost, abandoned, making a mistake, and being wrong. And that other person has nothing to do with it at all! Unlike flirting or cheating, jealousy isn’t about something that actually happened, but more a fear that something could take place. It exudes within you, suspiciously looking at your boyfriend or girlfriend over your shoulder at all times. It’s your inner fears that are tying you up in knots and spewing them out at your spouse. This time too, it has nothing to do with your partner. In other words, jealousy is a poorly disguised need for power and control.

So, are you noticing any jealousy in your relationship? Here are some relationship questions to help you come to terms with jealousy:

Do you feel a strong need to know where your boyfriend or girlfriend is at every minute? Do you feel suspicious when your partner is out of your sight? Do you always think your partner tries to seduce every new person he or she meets? If yes, we can safely say you've got a problem. Why? Cause, jealousy will distance your partner away from you. Even after your partner has never been astray in word, thoughts or actions, your suspicious behavior will compel them to stay away. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is being accused of being unfaithful all the time, he or she might be forced to do the deed just to prove it. After all, they’ll think it won't make any difference if they did or didn't. You’ll still be jealous anyway.

It’s been found that jealousy of people has its origins in their childhoods. They felt jealous when the other siblings got more attention from their parents. Maybe they didn't get the attention as they wanted before, and now they think that no one could love him or her enough to be faithful.

Jealous people aren’t only hurting other people; they’re also hurting themselves. If you’re jealous, get some help soon. None other than yourself can help you with this, not even your friends or relatives. You should pinpoint the causes and eliminate them once and for all. It won’t be easy, but it’s possible. You need to address the reasons for why you feel jealous and you must, it will ruin your relationship. You need to change your ways to keep jealousy away from ruining your relationship. Don't let jealousy destroy your relationship and your life.

When you’re in a relationship and feel jealous, find out where that jealousy came from, where its hiding and why it exposes its ugly head out ruin your relationship. As if you don’t, it will ruin you, too.


Want To Be Happy In Your Relationship? Stop Posting On Social Media!

Let’s be honest, dating and relationships are complicated, and they probably always have been like that forever. Sometimes, relationships can turn so complicated that most men and women grapple whether or not they’re in happy relationships. Then there is the usual fights and arguments with our significant others about why the socks aren’t in the sock drawer? Sometimes, our girlfriends get all angry and jealous when they find us watching Netflix alone. Does this mean that we are in happy relationships or is it doomed? It’s hard to tell.

It’s true that the internet and social media have made our lives easier in many ways, but they also made few things more complicated especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Often, while surfing through Facebook or Instagram, we see perfectly curated and lovely pictures of happy couples kissing, holding hands or frolicking on the beach. All these make some of us feel depressed who aren’t in those “happy relationships.”

However, it seems like there is one big sign in your relationship that will make you feel happier than everyone else. So, dying to know what it is? Well, quit spending time on social media sites. Stop posting about your relationship or anything else even that relates slightly to your relationship or marriage on social media altogether. Bam! Take that on your face that picture-perfect couple you just found on Facebook or Instagram.

According to new research, couples who stopped posting or sharing about their relationship on social media are happier than those who do it on a regular basis. We understand that it’s normal for you and your girlfriend posting cute photos of the both while visiting some nice place or having a lovely dinner date at your favorite restaurant. But there is surely a connection between how satisfied and happy you feel in your relationship and how often you share it on various social media platforms for your friends, family, and other people to see it.

First, it kicks off with social media use in general. Researchers indicated that men and women who don’t spend too much time on social media are happier with their lives because they’re out there living it, instead of posting or sharing about it. If people are busy with their happy relationships because they’re living it, naturally they’ll have less time to post about it.

Men and women who spend too much time on social media are said to be suffering from depression because they’re busy comparing their lives to others of what they see. Also, some people tend to use social media to brainwash themselves. This unhealthy habit makes it appear to outsiders that they’re so happy and their lives are amazing, and sometimes, even convincing themselves of it, but in reality, it’s not true at all.

The bottom line is, couples who are in a happy and satisfied relationship, it’s not that important for them to prove or show it to others by posting it on Facebook or Instagram. They know that they’re genuinely happy in their relationship. So, they hardly feel the need to post about it on social media to get validated by others.


Are You In A “Situationship” Or A Relationship”? Read On To Find Out!

In the world of dating and relationship, you probably heard about almost relationships, friends with benefits, ghosting and breadcrumbing. And things are expected to get even worse by the new trend in dating. It’s called situationship, and it’s probably one of the worst ones yet. So, what is a situationship? The situationship can be explained as a cramped space between being a friend with benefits and being in a relationship – sort of.

So, What Actually Happens In A Situationship?
When you’re in a situationship, you basically got stuck in a friends with benefits situation. You get physically intimate with your partner pretty regularly, and yet you still realize that you’re doing the same things just any average couple. You could be spending a couple of nights with your boyfriend or girlfriend every week, you both go grocery shopping together, and have dinner dates a few times throughout the week. This may sound like a typical relationship but there is a big difference.

You see in a situationship, there isn’t a “what are we” conversation. There is nothing in between, things either progress from there or they stay steady where they were. If couples who think they’re in a situationship, and they decide to have the dreaded “what are we” discussion, the relationship that they currently are in will cease to exist. In a situationship, most of the time your boyfriend will give no clue that you might have feelings for him or even think anything of your situationship. If you made him clear about your true feelings for him, it can shock or scare him, and cause him to distance himself from the situation immediately quickly out of fear. Because we all know, feelings are a reason to be scared right?

You see committed relationships have its foundations on understanding and clear communication, whereas situationships are built on a lack of mutual understanding and what’s left unsaid. Your mind plays games subconsciously, and your beau doesn’t even know anything about the complicated mind games you’re developing. Should we cuddle after we have sex? Are we calling each other pet names too often? Are we really in a relationship even though we’ve never had that discussion?

In a situationship, there are feelings between the two just like any other normal relationships, because it’s obvious that you wouldn’t be spending all that time together for nothing. It’s crystal clear that you and your partner do enjoy each other’s company and not all your attraction is about sex. But the questions that keep on surfacing is that why things between you two haven't changed yet and avoiding asking questions will only make the situation worse.

In a situationship, you don’t have the urge or the desire to meet other people or even look for someone new, that will give the relationship that your truly deserve. You want to say something bust as your feelings are overwhelming you more and more, you feel scared of losing him. You also don’t want to shake things up too. If someone asks you if you’re happy with how things are going, it’s highly likely that you’ll lie and say yes so they don’t pity you. Also, when you’re in a situationship, you don’t resonate with your emotions. You can’t get upset or angry, or even tell your friends if you were dumped or can be dumped because let’s be honest, you weren’t in a real relationship in the first place. But you can change things, and you can do that by talking about them regardless how painful it may be. It will give you that closure that you’re missing and who knows he too may feel the same way about you.


Most Women Learn These Three Critical Lessons About Love When It’s Too Late!

We learn most life lessons in the present, but when it comes to love and relationships, we learn most of our “love lessons” when it’s too late. Let’s be honest, when love lessons hit us, it hits us hard. Sometimes, for women, these love lessons need to hit them for a few times before they can fully grasp the underlying truth behind it!

Love Lesson#1
You can’t make someone love you. The best you can to be someone who can be loved. The remaining part rests with them. The thing you can find someone with your mind and soul, but some people won’t just care about it. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or them. Both parties are okay, and it’s not the end of the world. Some ladies in order to get love and affection from other men or their boyfriends have sacrificed their identity and personalities and who they’re as a person.

Ultimately their hearts gets crushed when they realize that the man for whom they’ve loved and sacrificed so much doesn’t return the favor. This is totally unfortunate and sad. They take this rejection very personally and they that there is something was wrong with them, or they aren’t good enough for them. This is untrue. Remember, it is not your duty to make someone love you, but it is up to you to become the best version of yourself. This way men around you can see and feel who you are and decide if they want to have someone like you to a part of their life or not.

Love Lesson#2
People only give their version of love, not the one you expect or think. This is a crucial thing to learn for every woman looking for love or already in a relationship, and for those who are thinking to change how their boyfriends or partners expresses his love or behaves toward her. We are all different in our habits and personalities. We all have our unique way of showing and expressing love to someone. You can try to make your partner love you in the way you like and want, but it will not work. This is one of the mysteries of love. Therefore, stop telling others how they must love you. Let them be themselves. After all, love is an expression of their one’s soul. Instead be thankful and appreciate your partner the way he loves you.

Love Lesson#3
Unconditional love isn’t only the key for a happy and long-lasting relationship; it’s also the best approach to finding happiness for yourself. Giving unconditional love is challenging given the fact that we have mastered the art of giving and receiving conditional love, not to mention that we are always judging and criticizing someone else.

If we could stop judging and criticizing one another, we would inevitably experience what true unconditional love is all about. Now we have made that clear if you don’t love yourself unconditionally, you won’t be fully capable of loving someone the way he or she wants to. So, start loving yourself without any conditions and do the same thing with your significant other.


Is The Jealousy In Your Relationship Justified?

You can’t be in a romantic relationship unless you’ve experience jealousy at some point during the relationship. Nothing feels worse when jealousy takes hold of you, and you start questioning everything your boyfriend or girlfriend does.

Jealousy signals that something has gone awry in the relationship. Jealousy makes you lose focus on the significant issues in the relationship. It can increase suspiciousness and creates a negative atmosphere throughout the relationship. If you see that you’re always feeling jealous, ask yourself if the jealousy you’re feeling is justified or whether there is any reality to this jealousy. Ask yourself is your significant other interested in someone else?

Here are the three top reasons why most people get jealous.

They Feel Insecure
Feeling insecure is the most common cause of jealousy. When you start to have doubts about your attractiveness and self-worth, it’s easy for you to feel worried that your partner will find someone better than you and this might make him or her to leave you. Often jealousy is a more about timing than lack of affection. You want to spend more time with your man, but he’s just too busy with work. So, you get jealous of your friends who are spending more time with their lovers than you. What’s interesting is that often men and women, who feel vulnerable in their romantic relationships, don’t feel insecure in other areas of their lives. This is why we can see very confident people intensely insecure in their relationships, too.

They Have Trust Issues
People feel jealous when they have a hard time trusting people. If your overall perception of people is that they aren’t trustworthy, you’ll be more likely to find yourself jealous most of the time.

They Have Anxiety Problems
People feel jealous when they’re anxious about something. Individuals who are anxious have a kind of attachment fear with people they’ve become attached to. They always fear that partners will not love them enough, and they think that partners will not be capable of meeting their wants and needs reliably.

Do You Often Get Jealous In Relationships?
If yes, then it’s safe to conclude that the source of the jealousy is entirely you, and we can also highlight that it’s because there has been a drop in your self-esteem. If you’re someone, who often don’t feel jealous, find out what signs, things or actions has provoked jealousy in you.

Did you notice any changes in your partner’s behavior? Is your partner dressing differently than usual? Are they spending more time on their appearance? Are they suddenly getting calls in the evening and answering and ending them without you noticing? If you see signs that your partner is unfaithful, don’t make guesses, and find a way to confirm that this is happening.

Set some time aside, and have a conversation regarding your concerns with your partner. Don’t be confrontational or accuse him or her without any substantial evidence that your spouse is pulling away or cheating on you.

If you discover signs of infidelity, keep yourself calm, and don’t fight or argue. Instead, consider talking to a therapist and try to figure out the next steps together. You’ll need to be rid of your jealousy because if it stays within you, it will tear you up inside. The sooner you rid of this corrosive jealousy, the better it will be for your relationship. Keep in mind, frequent jealousy, if left unchecked, can ruin a romantic relationship.