Category Archives: Relationships

Emotional Baggage Can Threaten Your Relationship

Most of us have dated someone with a lot of emotional baggage, and most of them didn’t have a happy ending. Unfortunately, it’s hard to figure out if your partner has too much baggage until you’ve been in a relationship with that person for some time. Only if you can spot whether he or she has emotional baggage sooner, you could stop dating that person. Moreover, you should not get in the relationship in the first place.

Here are some most common types of emotional baggage and how you can spot it.

1. Serious problems within the Family

It doesn’t matter whether your date is 20 or 50, if he or she comes from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that they too will have emotional problems. Even if your date personally doesn’t have any personal or emotional issues or their parents or siblings had it, it can cause significant emotional stress on their lives.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is outraged towards a parent or parents, siblings or other family members whenever they get together for family reunions, dinners or parties. You will find that he or she has a parent or a sibling who is an alcoholic or addict and it’s creating a lot of problems in the family. You will discover that he or she was abused verbally, physically and emotionally by one or both parents.

2. Depression

Most of us associate depression that affects women. But, severe forms of depression have been diagnosed in both men and women. So, if a person has some baggage, it’s very likely he or she is severely depressed and need medical attention.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is always moody; don’t like to socialize or talk to others; and little confidence and self-esteem. People with depression aren’t interested in activities which can make them happy, are pessimistic about what the future hold for them. They complain all the time and can get angry or irritated very easily. He or she always starts arguments and cries for no particular reason. However, it’s important to know men and women express their emotional outburst differently.

3. The Ex-Factor

If you start dating someone, who recently broke up with his or her partner, you ask yourself questions like, If he still in love with his ex? Does she still contact her ex? If you feel uncomfortable dating someone who has been in a serious relationship in the past, then end it right there. And for those who have just been out of a relationship, wait for at least six months or more before you fully get over your ex, before you start a new relationship. This way you won’t carry the baggage of your old relationship to the new one.

How You Can Spot It

He or she mentions their former lovers at least once a week during the first few weeks of dating. He or she still keeps pictures of their ex; he says his ex’s name while talking to his friends; he or she always compares you with their ex.

The bottom line is, we all have some emotional baggage the moment we reach adulthood. The advice to remember is that we should be able to control our baggage so that it doesn’t harm our relationships in any way or form.


Why People Feel Terrified After Falling in Love for the First Time

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, so some of us feel awful sometimes? When people fall in love, it seems like the colors became much brighter, you can focus on your work, and you can’t eat or sleep properly. Heck, you can’t stop thinking about him or her. And all of a sudden you start to get insecure and uncertainty gets hold of you. You can start asking yourself, “Am I really in love with her? Does he love me? What will I do if she leaves me?”

A questionnaire survey conducted on 100 newly-in-love men and women in Iran has concluded that the people who are in love were more anxious and depressed. The authors said that romantic love isn’t full of joy and happiness. In fact, they reported that young adults who are dating found themselves to be more insecure and have unpleasant feelings. However, there’s one good news, though – love helps you to sleep better!

Being in love is a destabilizing experience, and for individuals who have a hard time to control their emotions and feelings, it can also be distressing. Nonetheless, if you think that you’re one of them, here is some advice to make you feel comfortable again.

Feelings Are Temporary

Feelings aren’t permanent, it changes, even the most overwhelming ones. It’s because of your profound ability to love that makes you feel happiness and sadness. When you fall in love, it is okay if can’t eat or sleep properly for a few days, but eventually, it will pass. Soon, you’ll get your appetite back and get control of your emotions and feelings.

Don’t Stress About What Anything Means

When people fall in love, the brain gets bombarded with love hormones. You can’t think straight, and you can make unwise decisions about tough issues that come up during the early stages of dating. Avoid overthinking about issues regarding your relationship. You don’t have a clue where your relationship will be heading from this minute. You don’t have to overly analyze about his emotional wellness after he told you about his divorce or breakup. Don’t get stressed out if she took three hours to return your call or respond to your text. Don’t even bother whether it’s obvious infatuation or the beginning of a loving and long-lasting relationship. Relax and tell your instincts that all new love is supposed to be uncertain.

Give Your Partner Some Space

If you think that someone loves you, and you can’t wait to tell him or her that, remember some people might get overwhelmed by intense emotions. All of us are different, and we experience our feelings and emotions in our way. Some people prefer to get engulfed with emotion and feelings, while others like to take a break or look for ways to get distracted – well, that is until romance gets reignited within them again.

Overall, falling in love can a combination of happiness, peace, and uncertainty. Sometimes, being in love exposes are weaknesses and makes us feel low. It’s just a reminder that you’re ready for both.


Be Realistic and Don’t Expect Perfection While Dating

We aren’t perfect. We all have flaws. Our partners aren’t perfect either. So, don’t expect perfection from them as well. Instead, learn to accept them for who they are in person and mind.

It’s interesting, how we so willing to ignore the flaws or traits that make us uncomfortable in the early stages of relationships. Some traits seem to look cute, and we usually overlook them. Or, it can be that we are so much in love that we readily ignore them because the good traits have overshadowed these “flaws” or “annoying quirks.” Some believe that they can “change” or “fix” these flaws once they get to work on them. These are the reasons why we sincerely forget about these perceived imperfections in our dates and move ahead with the relationship.

As the relationship matures over time, we arrive at a point that somehow these perceived “flaws” we have previously noticed in our partners all of a sudden become important and the “flaws” themselves get highlighted. It’s true that we said to ourselves these negative traits were cute and won’t create any problems in the relationship later, or we can change them. But, now it becomes clear that those “flaws” aren’t going anywhere and are here to stay.

You’ll also turn paranoid to change someone in an attempt to make them perfect for you. Well, that’s not going to happen with some severe consequences. A lot of relationships have ended because one partner tried to change the other person and things got out of hand.

So, what happens now? We have seen that it’s these flaws that have created a ridge between the couples as they no longer see the good qualities among themselves that brought them closer together in the first place. All those wonderful traits like – his silly sense of humor, the way she cares about children, his caring attitude towards stray pets and so forth suddenly become less important. And all you argue about now is he leaves the toilet seat up, or she doesn’t water the plants.

Imperfections are inevitable in humans, and we must accept them as they are. No one is perfect, and if you are married to someone, it’s probably that their attractive attributes have surpassed their weaknesses. Perhaps, it’s time that you recall the qualities of your partner that made you attracted to him or her and then take a stand on those flaws in a broader spectrum. We can easily say that these “flaws” will be washed away by the powerful waves of the good qualities. Being vulnerable is the essence of romance. If someone is genuinely attracted to you, loves you, he or she won’t be scared to expose their flaws. It’s their flaws that make who they are and who they are not. That’s what important.

The bottom here is we all have our good qualities and flaws. The key to a lasting relationship is to focus more on the wonderful attributes and thinking less about the imperfections and how to make those “imperfections” perfect. Life is better if we start looking for beauty in the flaws, instead if criticizing them.


Is It True That Dating People With A Cheating Past Will Cheat Again?

You’ve probably heard this many times, “if he cheated once, he would cheat again.” When it comes to generalizations, few dispute it. If a person cheats on his or her partner, will they repeat it? In short, usually, individuals will cheat again unless they suffered severe consequences for their behavior.

Cheating individuals who faced significant repercussions can learn from their wrongdoing

For most men and women, being monogamous is of top most priority in their relationships. If a partner commits infidelity, the cheater will only change their behavior only if their partner breaks up with them or get divorced. Some take a long-term hiatus from their relationship. Due to the breakup or the end of the relationship, the cheater feels guilty, embarrassed, self-atonement, and engulfs in despair and sadness. It’s explicitly for this experience that the cheater takes a second look at his or her behavior, and realizes its cost and effect on their lives.

Cheaters who skipped serious consequences will cheat again

If a cheater didn’t face any dire consequences, why would he stop doing it again? If a cheater weren’t punished mentally for their actions, he or she would never understand the reason that made him or her unfaithful in the first place. Therefore, they will keep on cheating. It’s also crucial to know what motivated an individual to be unfaithful and risk their relationships and marriage. After all, if you ask a person, why they cheated, they’ll most likely tell whether they’ll do it again.

If you happen to date an individual who has a cheating record, ask questions about it

Ask your date what are the reason that compelled him to cheat. In the majority of the cases, it’s because of anger, boredom, resentment, neglect and loneliness. Let’s be clear; cheaters aren’t bad. People start their relationships with the best intentions, but they realize at later stages in the relationship, that some of their emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled. So, they try to meet that by having affairs with other people. Besides, it’s also necessary to ask the cheating person how their ex-partners treated them after the cheating scandal. The person won’t give you the exact details, but it will help to know more about that person, and your current date also gets an opportunity to share their side of the story.

Handle the situation if you start feeling that your date will compel to cheat on you

Ask your current date with a cheating past, whether he will cheat on you if they ever feel unhappy or resentful over you. Don’t get satisfied if he replied in one sentence, that he wouldn’t do it again. Instead, hold him accountable for his actions and verbal contract – not to cheat. Also, suggest him to handle his feelings in a way that won’t take him to the same path. Don’t let go of your current date quickly. Ask questions, but don’t ask too many questions.

Overall, if you’re currently dating someone, ask questions regarding his cheating past if he has cheated in his previous relationship. Don’t jump to conclusions quickly. Take some time thinking about his answers, rely on your instincts, and then decide whether you trust him that he won’t be unfaithful to you in the future.


Fun And Fantastic Ways To Surprise Your Boyfriend

Relationships need to be worked on. If the excitement and romance fade away so will your relationship. So, to keep your relationship alive and on the move, one should keep on devising ways to surprise your partner and show your affection and care in the best possible manner.

Everyone loves to be surprised by their partners, and the message it conveys strengthens the bond between the two. Here is the list of the most inspiring ideas to show your partner how special he is for you and that he means the world to you.

Write for him on the wall

There is nothing more cute and loving than sneaking into the washroom while your partner is taking a shower and write, “I Love You” on the steamed mirror. This can also be done on the car window as well.

Leave him a treasure hunt

No need to be expensive. Just come up with something creative and cute. Cut down pieces of a fancy paper and make him follow the instructions. In the end, it might be tickets to a movie show or your surprise planned out vacations.

Change their alarm to your voice message

The amazing new technology can help you to do wonders for your boyfriend. How about changing the Alarm tone of your partner to a sweet romantic message of yours? It is definitely going to make his day.

Making him Lunch

If he buys lunch then why not surprise him by making a fresh brilliantly cooked meal for him. You can drop it at his workplace along with a cute love note.

Take him out

Is it always the men who are supposed to take women out? Well NO! Take him out to his favorite restaurant for a perfect treat. It is quite rare that women do this for their men but believe me your man will love it.

Write him a love letter

In this time of modern era, writing love letters is long forgotten. So, why not writing him a love letter to let him know that how precious he is to you? Moreover, rather than handing it over to him, you put a stamp and post it; he will find this gesture of yours “Super Cute.”

Give him breakfast in bed

Surprise him with a truly delicious breakfast in bed. Such a perfect morning will keep him fresh and happy all day

Tidy up his apartment

If you haven’t moved in together yet and he is a messy little boy of yours then surprise him by cleaning his apartment before he gets back home.

Give him a picture

Find a cute picture of you both together and get it framed. Give it to him as a surprise gift to be displayed in his room or at his workplace.

So these are a few ideas to surprise your boyfriend and make him feel exactly what you feel for him. Surprising him time to time will get him appreciate you and ensure the strength and longevity of your relationship. So, how about trying any one of these today?


Reasons to Be Happy When Your Match Wants to Be Friends

When it comes to online dating, few people like to hear their matches tell, that they don’t want to date him or her, but would like to friends. It seems like a shoddy consolation present as if he or she is just offering friendship unwillingly because they don’t want to have a relationship with them. But, if you remove the rejection part of it, you’ll realize that making new friends is one of the best advantages of online dating experience.

You will be amazed to find out that while looking for matches online you’ll meet a lot of people that have similar opinions, interests, views, hobbies and sense of humor, or sports. It’s an ideal arrangement in some manner. You can share movie or basketball tickets or get the benefits of a social club without having to get anxious about which direction your relationship is heading. Besides, it’s also possible for you to enjoy all types of chemistry with the opposite sex minus the romantic attraction. Friendships gained while dating online adds richness in your social life. You get to understand this if you’re divorced or just trying to add some zest into your social or just trying to make new pals. Who knows some of the people you met online can turn out to be your best friends and they can also help your find you a romantic partner.

But, remember to keep the new relationship with your online match strictly in the friend zone. And here’s how you can do it:

Ensure that none of you any romantic attraction or feelings

If you think your relationship with your online matches is more than friendship, then you aren’t doing the way you’re supposed to. If you think you or they are attracted to you or have feelings for you, then friendships will never develop. It’s in fact, kind of mean. Moreover, there is no fun of always worrying that the other person may think the current relationship is more than just being friends. In this situation, you might have to wait for some time until the other person is dating someone.

Don’t be friends unless you want it

Being real friends in real life means that you would keep in touch and meet them from time to time. For starters, be friends on social media. Rushing to be friends with your online matches isn’t a good way to make good buddies. So, start first by liking or sharing each other posts or interesting articles or pictures. Suggest him or her in doing activities or attending festivals just like regular friends. Invite them to your friends’ birthdays or parties. The more you socialize with other people, the higher the chances of you meeting someone you like to be in a relationship.

Be ready to the possibility that your relationship might change

We understand you didn’t expect that, but theirs is a possibility that getting to know someone in more fun and a relaxed way can alter the status of the relationship. But finding love should never be the motive for being friends with the opposite sex. For the time being, just focus and enjoy by spending time with someone exciting and fun.

The takeaway here even if you haven’t been able to be in a relationship with your match online, it opens a new possibility of making new friends. That is one positive aspect of online dating, and most people are just oblivious to it.


5 Topics You Should Never Discuss By Telephone While Dating

In the early stages of dating, most men and women often feel the need to know each other as quickly as they possibly can. And in most cases, they have all their conversations over the phone. A new couple will spend hours talking on the phone, hitting every topic from what dish they like to eat to how many kids they will have. They get so excited they’re now in a relationship that they take things too fast. It can put stress on the relationship with unwanted consequences.

So, it’s better not to rush things, and not to have a discussion on some topics over the phone. What are the issues you may ask, here they are:

1. Dating Other People

Don’t ever ask the person over the phone you just started dating if he/she is seeing other people. It’s an important question to ask, but never over the phone. Asking this question in person has an advantage, you can notice his/her body language. If he says that he’s isn’t dating anyone, but you see him fidgeting or his reluctance to answer it, you might need to ask it again for the right answer.

2. Getting Married and Having Kids

Don’t discuss life’s important events like marriage and having children over the phone. Wait for a month after dating, and then have a conversation about this topic in person. A lot of men and women get turned off by this question if asked too soon. And it’s impetuous if asked over the phone!

3. Past Relationships

Asking each other about their previous relationships, why it ended, whose fault was it; all of these questions are unhealthy. The only important things to know at this moment is that those relationships are in the past now. Don’t ever ask too many questions about a person’s past relationships because it might cause unnecessary jealousy, mental insecurity, and even competition. And if you want to know about his or her’s ex-partners, then ask it in person, never on the phone.

4. Feeling Insecure About Social Media Posts and Photos

In the first few months of dating, men and women mostly argue about posts and photos the other person shares on social media sites. You’ll certainly get paranoid or feel insecure if your date shares a photo with someone holding hands, or seem a little close to them. So, they call the person right away or send him or her abrupt texts without knowing the whole picture. If you need to know about a post or picture your date shared, be moderate while responding. Don’t let your emotions or insecurities overcome your judgment.

5. Doubting If He or She Is Still Interested

In every new relationship, there comes a time when you start having doubts whether your romantic partner is still interested in you. If he or she doesn’t call you or delays your next meeting, it’s okay to wonder if your date still wants to date you or not. But, don’t discuss these issues over the phone. Be patient with your anxiety instead of acting on them impetuously. What you can do here is when you do meet each other next time, wait for a couple of hours and then ask him or her how they feel about you at that moment.

The takeaway here is having in-depth discussions over sensitive topics over the phone can put a lot of strain in a new relationship. Successful relationships are free from stress and anxiety. Discussing any sensitive issues in person will make both of you relaxed and the relationship to flow at its pace.


Adorable Ways To Steal His Heart By Doing The Sweet Thing

Is it always a man’s part to take the first step and wins her fairy’s heart? What I believe that it is our society that is to be blamed for setting up this trait. Why should it always be men? What if he is hesitating or confused for one reason or the other? What if the man you like is not at all putting any effort into pursuing you? Well, I think it is time for the women to take charge and bring the change. Steal his heart and make him fall in love with you. It is not something that is not possible. Step forward and do your best to win his heart.

When it comes to a guy’s plan, he tends to make it obvious to steal her princess’s heart. But for women, it is advised to go for clever and indirect methods to make their men fall for them without letting him knowing it. Following are the tips that can be used to make your guy fall for you. But remember to tailor these suggestions as per your man’s moods and approach as every person in the world different. But overall these simple methods will get your guy falling for you within no time.

Appeal to the guy’s masculine side

Men love when they are appreciated because of their masculinity. Men like feeling manly. So tell them how strong they are, make them open up a tight jar or bottle for you and you will find them impressing you again and again.

Compliment him

Compliment the looks of your love. Adopt subtle ways to tell them that they are looking good or that color suits them. And you will start noticing that they would prefer wearing that color again and again.

 Be imminent with your feelings

Usually, men do not possess best intuitions so sometimes one has to be blunt about her feelings. You can laugh at his joke and say that “you are funny, I like you.” So this is a Sweet-Talk which will help you in gaining your man’s attention.

Talk about his work

Men love to be encouraged and cherished by their work. They liked being called hard workers. So be fascinated about the work he does and does ask him about his ongoing projects. Do keep yourself in touch with what is related to his work life.

Be Confident

Men simply love confident women. Make sure that you ooze out with confidence each time you are around with him or communicate with him.

Smile

A woman can capture his man quickly with her smile. It not only looks approachable but it speaks out the confidence in her. Roaming around your man with that sweet, pretty smile on your face will make his heart skips his beat.

Catch his eyes from time to time

While sitting in a gathering, make him catch your glance and give him your small adorable smile before turning yourself away. It is like running away after grabbing his heart.

Sweet-Talking to a guy is not a difficult task. In fact, it is fun and challenging. Just follow our tips mentioned above, and you will have him running after you very soon.


Fastest Ways To Stop Being A Possessive Girlfriend

Regardless of any reason, insecurities and jealousy make relationship suffer. Being over possessive about your partner may sometimes build up frustration and create the serious problem which consequently adversely affects the relationship.

It is essential to learn as to how to stop treating your boyfriend your personal property and give him time and space to breathe out. Check out the following ways to stop yourself from being a crap and win the girlfriend of the year award.

Talk to your partner

Have an open talk with your partner. Tell him that you are over possessive about him. Acknowledging it yourself that you are possessive will make him understand in a better way.

Usually being possessive is related to the trust problem. You truly love your partner, but you want him to be all yours all the time, and you get jealous and insecure when he is surrounded by other people. So if you are interested in resolving this issue, then you need to be open to your partner. Say your heart and mind out to him and together try to sort out the problem.

If he cheats, nothing can be done to stop him

If your jealousy leads you to the extent that you become possessive about your boyfriend, then it increases the chance of you being cheated by your boyfriend. Any of the romantic chats or emotional talks cannot stop him from doing this. He will start looking out for different ways to get rid of your act of over possessiveness. Therefore, it is better to control your anxiety when you see people around him and give him a break, please.

Stop snooping into his system

Are you after getting hold of all his social media passwords and his mobile phone then hold on lady! You need to seriously workout on this addiction of yours. Such an obsession is going to ruin your relationship.

Keep an eye and control will give you a sense of relief but it is highly disrespectful to your partner whom you claim to love a lot. Every being has all the rights to their privacy and invasion of privacy is very unethical.

So if your partner comes to know that you have been into his socials then tell him that you are working on building back trust and he has a week or two to change all his passwords.

Practice a role reverse

What if your partner was in your place and starts being over possessive about you? What would be your feelings going to be? Remember relationships are built on trust and respect. So, change your behavior and your thinking. Show respect; get respect.

You both had a past

You had been in a relationship, and so did he. You need to learn and understand that this has been your and his past too. You both are entitled to have memories. So if at any time he holds his past sentiments for some period; do not try to mess things up.

So if you have taken the path of a possessive girlfriend, then this doesn’t mean that you have to stay on it. Find out the reasons behind your actions and take appropriate steps to fix it and secure your relationship.


Why Being Selfish While Dating is Actually a Good Thing!

Selflessness is considered a sign of well-mannered adults and it’s vital for married people for a long-lasting marriage. But, being selfless can be a poison for people who are dating. You need to be more self-centered when you are seriously dating. In other words, you should be utterly obsessed with yourself if you’re looking for a partner. And, I believe individuals who tend to be generous and selfless while dating will have a hard time to meet someone who is compatible with them. Some of you might be uncomfortable listening to this, so allow me to explain:

If you’re thinking to be in a committed relationship, then you will be determined if the new person you’re dating is going to be a good partner for a long time. You would be like to link with your partner romantically, socially, financially and legally, that is if you get married. He/She will have their faults and gifts, and you’ll have to accept them, and build a happy and satisfying life together. This isn’t small talk.

Let me explain this with an example. Say, your new boyfriend/girlfriend is a great guy. He’s loving, kind, considerate and supportive, but he’s an alcoholic. Because you’re passionate and love him, you want to help him. When he’s sober, he’s a fun and exciting guy to spend time with, but when gets drunk he’s terrible. It’s easy to tell that having a serious relationship or marrying this person is risky. He can quit drinking, but there’s a risk that he won’t, and you’ll have to live with the consequences.

Now, a person who is selfless and puts other first would probably wouldn’t abandon him and leave him for himself. Instead, he would take care of him and make him better. Hundreds and thousands of relationships and marriages have started for just this reason. This woman can’t be selfish; even she needs to be at this point. The woman isn’t acting in her best interests and is risking a lot in her life by being in a relationship with an alcoholic.

Of course, most of us don’t have relationships with an alcoholic, but some individuals are neurotic, have anger issues, narcissistic, jealous, and other negative traits, that can make a relationship to end. Your best approach here is to communicate with your partner and encourage him or her to improve in these areas before you get serious with the relationship. And if things don’t get better, then the best solution is to be selfish, end the union and move on.

Overall, we all have our perfections and imperfections. To make any relationship work, you have to make changes and compromises in your life. There is no short cut here. The takeaway here is – if you dated your partner long enough and noticed some bad points, then you should discuss it. Take steps to improve or get rid of it. If your romantic partner doesn’t want to do or make it happen, then it’s time for you to be selfish. You have to be SELFISH. It’s for the best for your life.