Category Archives: Relationships

Five Signs You Have Found The Perfect Guy

If you’ve been dating for some time in a quest to find someone compatible with you, you’ve probably noticed that your dates have been getting better over time. They treat you better and more compassionate than your previous dates. But, if you look at the bigger picture, some signs indicate that your date is a real keeper. Here are the top five signs that you should look in a man if you want to be in a relationship for the long-term.

1. He is responsible for his time and duties

When you're in a new relationship being on time is important. It doesn’t have to be that your date has to be on time every time, but he should usually be on time. And in case, if he can’t make it he should notify you as soon as possible that he’ll be late. Timeliness is important because it shows that he respects your feelings, and don’t want you to be worried or guessing your whereabouts. Having a high sense of commitments is also important like honoring the time, but commitments are all about fulfilling obligations and doing what needs to be done, despite not wanting to do it.

2. He never lies to you about important things

People lie about significant things and less important things. If you’re looking for someone who never lies anytime, then be prepared to get disappointed. You won’t find anyone like that. The point it to be in love with someone who won’t tell lies to you about matters that mean a lot to you. He shouldn’t lie about something that could hurt your feelings or make you feel upset or anxious about something. If he gets away with a big lie, he will most likely do it again.

3. He is free from an impulsive personality

When a person has an impulsive nature, he will act on impulse, which includes making hasty and thoughtless decisions immediately that could result in undesired consequences. Guys who have impulsive personalities are more likely to be drug or substance abusers, anger issues, or unreliable. If you’re dating someone new, try to figure how he makes decisions. Is he hasty in making decisions that usually have bad outcomes or does he makes uninformed decisions? Dating impulsive guys can be one of the bad decisions in your life.

4. He doesn’t flirt with other when you’re with him

There is nothing wrong with checking other attractive men or women, but flirting with someone while your partner is in front of you, is pretty damn nasty and disrespectful. It is one of the ground rules of a relationship – you never flirt with someone when your partner or spouse is present with you. If you guy checks out other women or flirting with them, without respecting or acknowledging your presence, then you might rethink your relationship with this person.

5. He has never bashed, blamed or lost his temper on you

Does your guy loses his temper, blames you or lashes at you if something goes bad? If you see any of these behaviours at the early days of dating, then believe me that things will only get worse over time. Whenever things don’t happen as expected, a mature guy will focus on facing and solving the problem, instead of blaming someone else badly for it.

So there you have it and I hope you find these factors helpful to consider while looking for a man for a relationship.

Love Yourself First Before You Fall In Love with Someone

Unless you love yourself, you aren’t ready for a loving relationship with another person. As Valentine’s Day nears, this is the advice most single people often keeps hearing. So, is it true? If you think that you aren’t unlovable, how could you possibly convince someone else to fall in love with you? Experts suggest to tackle this also seems good: Raise your confidence and self-esteem. Tell yourself that you’re a beautiful person, you love your body, you’re lovable and so forth.

But there’s an issue. They don’t always work. It’s been found that people who have low self-esteem felt worse about themselves after repeating these types of positive affirmations, which they don’t believe in the first place. We can’t argue with it. If you actually don’t love your body or think you’re beautiful, then telling yourself that you do, is just plain lying. But the good thing is that you don’t always need high self-esteem or think high of yourself to be in a relationship. All you need to do is be kind to yourself, and this is how you can do it:

#1 Talk To Yourself The Same Way A Good Friend Would Talk To You

When was the last time your best friend was at the lowest point in his or her life? Recall the moments your friend lost his or her confidence, lost her job or her house, or had a breakup. Did you blame your friend that it was their own fault that lead to it? Did you her that her partner broke up with her or got rejected because she was always nagging, too needy or was stupid and fat?

Of course, you didn’t say all these terrible things. Most men and women tell all these hurtful words to ourselves. Instead of bashing yourself up, why don’t you pump yourself with self-esteem and confidence? Psychologist Kristin Neff of University of Texas at Austin suggested that people to say something that’s honest, sincere and kind to themselves. For instance, you can tell yourself that, “I am at a low point in my life. But It’s nothing that I have worry about all the time. It will pass.” We all feel bad about ourselves at some point in our lives. We aren’t perfect but don’t should stop you from being in a loving relationship.

#2 Be Content With The Ordinary

When we have low self-esteem and tell positive affirmations to ourselves in front of the mirror, we usually try to persuade ourselves that we’re exceptional, beautiful, happy, confident, special, and completely discard the people who disagree. After all, you’ve to become someone “unique” and “extraordinary,” if you want to fall in love and it sounds like a practical first step. However, there is a problem with this approach. You just can’t keep exaggerating yourself regularly. Otherwise, you lose your identity of who you really are. Instead, of telling yourself, I am the best! I am full of confidence! I am the most beautiful! – Opt for self-compassion. Embrace that you’re average and ordinary. Be okay with it.

Having a great sense of self-compassion will give you a much more productive way to bounce back from life’s grievances such as bad dates, rejections, breakups, loneliness, than self-esteem. It’s difficult to always think highly of yourself, but being kind – you can do that every time.

Relationships Aren’t Perfect- Accept It!

We aren’t perfect. Our lives aren’t perfect. Our relationships aren’t perfect. We all have highs and lows in life. Things always don’t go as they way we want them too. In relationships, there are expectations and disappointments. As far as relationships go, there are two scenarios, an idealised one, and then there is the reality. Problems arise when the difference between what is expected for and what actually happens is wide, and the results can be deleterious.

However, it’s critical to understand that like life, our relationships are always changing. Sometimes these changes are good; sometimes they’re unfortunate. It’s a natural part of interacting intimately with another person. We should remember that things don’t always go as we planned. We need to be prepared and willing to deal with the unforeseen. We need to make plans to cope with frustrations and disappointments and keep on moving forward.

When a relationship turns wrought with sadness and conflict, or when your partner expectations differ from your, it can make you lose hope. But, it’s also hopeful to remember that if two people really want their relationship to work and thrive, they can do it. However, when both spouses aren’t dedicated to being in the relationship, and interested in other things, then it’s very unlikely they’ll find any common ground to make their relationship better. It takes two people in the relationship to face challenges and overcome them. It is difficult for couples to be happy in their relationships unless, they’re willing to leave their comfort zones, compromise and view things in a different manner.

There will be ups and downs in life. When things are good, and a worse event takes place, then dealing with it becomes even tougher, than if things were bad from the beginning. It also applies to relationships as well. The lows look more painful than the highs. It’s crucial to remember that just because a person is feeling upset or discouraged today, doesn’t mean that he or she will feel the same way the next day. Just because you’re struggling with your relationship at some point, that doesn’t mean it's doomed forever. Facing challenges in lives and in our relationships is a natural part of growing up.

But, there will be good days in your relationships, and yes, if we allow it to be there. We cherish the spring because the winters are harsh. If we didn’t have adversity in our lives, how can we appreciate the goodness, joy, and prosperity in our lives? If we didn’t have any coldness in our relationships, we could never understand the love and warmth in our partners and relationships. We need to face the negatives so we can appreciate then positives. If everything fails, and can’t be repaired or replaced, then keep in mind that if one door gets shut, another one opens. Life and relationships are always changing and moving. If a heart gets broken, remember there will a new one regenerating.

In this world, nothing is perfect. Life and relationships will always remain imperfect. It’s the imperfection that makes the perfect – perfect. So, embrace the imperfection in your relationships.

Should You Go For That Second Date, or Trust Your Intuition?

Have you felt the feeling that you didn’t want to go for the second date, or a third or even the tenth date, because your guts told you so? And after informing this to your parents or friends they go all ballistic on you and blame you that you’re still single because you rely on your instincts too much – then you’re not alone. People will accuse you of being foolish and arrogant if you declined a date without an apparent cause, and even more, if the person you passed has a good soul, polite, employed, a great smile and so on.

Sure, there are some good reasons to pass your guts, and still, go on that second date. But, it’s also important to trust your intuition, and here are some points to ponder on:

1. Don’t Act on Feedback

If you’re undecided about whether you should keep dating someone, it’s only normal that you want to share your feelings with your closest friends. But, listening to their judgments and feedbacks, and acting on it will cloud your instincts. Sometimes, you’ll have your reasons why you and your date didn’t click, or you felt that there wasn’t any chemistry. For example, he likes rock-climbing. She hates cats. He thinks global warming is a myth, etc. you get the gist. It details like these why most us explain why the date didn’t work or don’t want to go for the second or third date. And when we tell it to our friends and families, get ready for those eye rolls! Here’s the thing, if you really enjoyed the date, you wouldn’t be concerned about this petty and insignificant issues at all.

2. Take the Next Step

Instead of talking about your dates merits and demerits with your friends, stay silent and ask yourself – if you really want to have a second date with this person? Does the feeling of seeing this person again make you happy or uncomfortable? If you aren’t sure, then start planning. Think of doing something or visit a place together. It doesn’t matter if it’s watching a live game at the stadium or a restaurant. If you think that dating this person will make you miss your favourite TV show or take/an early break from work, then this person isn’t right for you. On the other hand, if you felt happy and energised just by imagining you two sharing a bottle of champagne at dinner, then go for it.

3. Lower Your Expectations

Relationships are all about dedication and commitment. You should be in a relationship for the long haul. Dating is a small meeting that will lead to a lifetime of companionship. It can be overwhelming, but the relationship shouldn’t have to be a chore. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself and keep your expectations low. Your date may not be your soul mate, but he or she is doing her best to find love. And that also applies to you.

Trusting your instincts is important. We should give our intuition more credit than they actually deserve. But keep in mind that your instincts should take control of you in a way that will prevent you from seeking love.

Three Main Differences Between Men and Women in Relationships

Understanding the unique needs of men and women has always been a subject of fascination and debates, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. The truth is, both men and women have the same basic needs – to be noticed, to be loved and to fulfill a purpose in a relationship. It’s not about the needs that are different; it’s about what men and women do to get those needs met that make a difference.

1. The need to be noticed

Both men and women equally need to feel noticed, but each want a different way to meet it. When men have a bad day, they want their girlfriend to see that they’re sad. Usually, men will talk about it for a few minutes, and then they will move on without talking about their feelings further. Women are more emotional and verbally expressive than men. If something goes wrong, women often come home and talk about it in detail with their partner. The need to be noticed is the foundation of any relationship. When people feel they’re neglected, they could become angry, confused, depressed, and in the worst case scenario may cheat on their partners.

2. The need to be loved

Men and women equally need to be cared for and loved. Though, men and women express their love differently. For instance, most men don’t like to openly talk about how they show their affection towards their girlfriend. But, many women like to express how much they care and love their boyfriends openly. Women must understand that men like to show their love to their partners through actions, instead of words. A man showing his love to his partner will take her on a romantic trip, give her a beautiful present, or take her to a nice restaurant. Most men believe that love should be expressed through actions.

3. The need to have a purpose in the relationship

If two people in a relationship are to be happy, then each partner must feel needed and appreciated. They should feel that they have an important function or purpose in the relationship and their efforts and sacrifices should be acknowledged and appreciated by their partner. If that doesn’t happen, and there aren't any attempts to make it happen, then they’ll often begin to feel disappointed, empty and defeated. Often, men and women differ when it comes to relationship roles. Traditionally, men have been identified as providers (financially), coaches, leaders, handymen, and so forth. On the other hand, women usually are nurturers, manage the home and kids, plan events, and organize the family or couple’s social life. Due to these differences, it is crucial for all men and women to understand their unique roles and purpose in the relationship, and to appreciate and respect the unique roles of their respective partners.

Overall, men and women are more similar to each other than different, which is why most couples are happy and feel fulfilled in their relationships. The more aware and respectful men and women are to each others roles and purposes, the better the relationship will be in the days to come.

How Can We Rejuvenate Our Emotional State?

We are humans and all of us get tired at some point. Excessive physical energy can exhaust our body, and you may need some rest to get back to normal. Same is the case with our emotions; there comes a time when life has been just a little too much and your mind can’t take the pressure. The reasons could be many – there may be issues with your love life, with your family, issues at work or just a general burden that has gotten too hard for you. Sometimes, you are not doing enough for yourself which is why you will face that emotional irritation. Being a perfectionist can emotionally drain you as well. You are always tied up in perfecting things, and it takes up a great deal of your mental and physical strength. Whatever the case may be, it is important that you give your emotional state a boost to feel refreshed again. This article is going to tell you how you can pull yourself out from that emotional mess.

#1 Identify the source

Before you start with any other thing, it is important that you see what fits your situation and what exactly it is that is making you emotionally upset. Once you know what the source is, you can further take steps to change it.

#2 Communicate with your loved ones

If the problem is with any one of your relationships, then you need to put aside your ego and talk to that person. It may the first time that you are doing this but this one time effort might just save you from the trouble happening in your life. There is a reason you love them, and if you feel like something is not right, then they have the right to know it because ignoring it will only make it worse.

#3 Put your own self first

You need to put yourself first and see what it is that makes you happy. You need to invest some time in yourself and put your dreams and desires ahead of other responsibilities in life. When you are not happy yourself, then you will not be able to do anything right anywhere else. It is your life, and you need to take care of yourself the most.

#4 Change what you can

You need to see what you can change and what you cannot. You cannot change what other people think or say, but you can definitely bring changes in your life and the environment around you. You can improve the environment by making it positive, surrounding yourself with the people who love you and by getting rid of all the negative vibes in your life.

#5 Find your strength

Nothing will ever be possible unless you believe in yourself and believe that you can do it. We all have our boundaries, and some have financial issues while some face social problems. You need to rise above the barriers and break them to be able to bring out the strength in you. We have the power to change, but we need to know just how to do it.

How To Get The Attention Of Your Crush While Looking Fabulous?

Does this ever happen to you where the person who was desperate to catch your attention loses interest in you all of a sudden? While crossing the hallway, sitting in a café or conference room, that cutie or that handsome guy who may have been trying to draw your attention seems to suddenly have no interest in you? Ever wonder what the reason is behind losing interest? What and where it went wrong?

Well, the first glance usually stirs the emotions, but to keep it moving and arouse interest you need to look good.  The following tips will guide you that how you can increase the excitement at the very first glance by looking good:

Look occupied

Appear like you have a life and show yourself to be busy and occupied. Do not ever lead them to think you have nothing to do. Avoid a constant stare as it may feel strange for the other person or scare them off.

Right eye contact

Eye contact is very essential. You need to learn how to make the other person’s heart skip a beat through flirting with your eyes. Sneak a glance over time and excite that person to want you more.

Surround yourself with fun people

It is always easier to look good and grasp attention while sitting in a group of your friends. Moreover, it is simpler to seem like you are the center of attention when your friends are with you. So, always try to sit within a group. But if your friends are giving some wrong impression, it is better to leave their company and move away from them.

Blush when your eyes meet

No matter how much glances you exchange, show a little nervousness when your eyes meet as it always makes romance more sweet and beautiful.

Good Posture

Always stand tall or sit upright. It makes you look good and confident. The coy posture is perfect for women, whereas dominant posture works well for men.

Create an opportunity for each other

If you have been exchanging glances, do not lose any chances that come your way. A few glances and that person may make a move by starting a conversation and exchanging numbers.

If you are a woman then excuse yourself from your group of friends, walk past him with a smile and step out. This is a green signal from your side that you want him to get up and move towards you.

Bottom Line

Eye contact may be the best among the above tips. Just sit back comfortably and enjoy it if you are not ready for the next step yet. But do remember to look confident and play your flirt game at best.

4 Signs That Show You Are Moving Too Fast in Dating

Most of us agree that moving too quickly in dating can be a problem. Many men and women get their hope of being in lasting relationship bash for taking it too fast too soon. Moving too quickly during the early days of dating is perhaps one of the biggest dating problems facing for men and women. Here are four signs that indicate that you’re rushing things in your date.

You think that you found your perfect date and believe that this one will be different than all the others. When you idealize someone, you believe them they’re all good or perfect. When you first meet someone new, you don’t know about him much. You just use your imagination to paint a perfect image of that person in your mind. You keep telling yourself that he is the funniest guy or she is the prettiest lady I have ever dated, that he or she totally understands or relates to you than any other person you dated in the past and so on.

You want to meet your date’s family and friends as quickly as possible. When you’re dating someone, it’s perfectly reasonable to get to know the other people in your date’s life like his or her family members and friends. However, it should be done after a few weeks from the first date. Rushing is not a good idea. Men and women, who want to take things too quick, will be keen to meet their date’s family and friends. They want to have dinners, set dates for barbecues and attend social events and activities, where they can meet their dates friends and relatives as soon as possible.

You text him or her or think about texting him or her – constantly. It’s okay if you daydream or think about someone you like, but constantly thinking about him or her is unhealthy. If you meet someone new and keep obsessing about him or her, then you’re jeopardizing your relationship before it started. Therefore, if you met a new data you like, set up a few ground rules for yourself. Avoid sending your date more than a couple of texts each day. Respond to texts, but don’t forget to tell your date that you want to take things slow. If you keep on talking and texting someone new you like straight away, there’s a high risk that you’ll be brokenhearted if things don't work out as you anticipated.

Your self-esteem relies on whether your date likes you or not. People, who have high self-esteem, confidence, and feel good about themselves don’t like to rush things while dating someone new. It’s because they aren’t emotionally needy. But, if your self-esteem goes up and down by the day, finding someone your like will become your life-savior, who will fix all the things that are wrong in your life. It’s a stressful experience to care too much about being liked, so don’t put yourself in that situation.

Overall, your dating approach should be thoughtful and cautious when you meet someone new. Take your time to get to know more about this individual, so that you can determine is this person’s personality and traits relate to you. Play cautiously while dating and you’ll be more successful in your relationships.

Stop Worrying About Not Being in a Relationship

Stressing about things that are out of our control is futile. But, we all know it’s very hard not to get anxious about some things in life – like being in a relationship. Single people have always been subjected to being flawed, unworthy, selfish and inadequate, simply because they aren’t ready for a relationship or haven’t met their match. Be assured that there’s nothing wrong with you, just because it didn’t happen yet. Here are three circumstances to keep in mind for your quest for the person you’ve been looking for.

Timing is everything

Love is spontaneous; you just can’t rush it. Yes, sometimes we tend to take things too soon too fast when we meet the person we are looking for to be our partner. We start off by graduating, get settled in a jog, buy a house or an apartment, and then we look for someone to love us. But when our soul mate doesn’t knock on our doors at the expected time, we get upset and frustrated and start to question ourselves if theirs is something wrong with us. But actually, there’s isn’t reason for it. It just happened to yet! Have patience, when the time is right; it will happen.

There is someone for everyone

No two people are the same. Look around you. You’ll see couples of all sorts of configurations, traits, dynamics and personalities that blend perfectly with them. If you can’t find someone that matches exactly to your preferences, which let me tell, there isn’t Mr. Right or Ms. Right on this planet. You probably have heard a lot from your friends and family that are suggesting you that you change some if the qualities you want in your potential partner before you find real love. Keep an open mind, and in the meantime, if you meet someone that meets most of your qualities, don’t let him or her go. Who can tell that this person can offer more than what you actually wanted?

There are two sides in a story

If you’ve broken up with someone, recall the moments why did it happen. Often, we don’t dig into the main reasons why the spark in your relationship isn’t there anymore. The thing is – the love is just isn’t there. Instead, we try to construct a weak explanation by saying something to your partner like that we were great as a couple, but we don’t a see a future in this relationship. And when the other person reacts and asks if he did anything wrong, you don’t seem to have a real answer. Honestly, there isn’t a satisfying answer. Someone may look good on paper, but when you meet him or her, you’ll find that there’s no real chemistry between the two of you. It’s not a match. If this happens, don’t come to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with you or your partner. It’s just happened to you yet.

Just because you’re finding it difficult to find love that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or some people might say that you’re unlovable. Relax and give yourself some time. You’re perfectly fine the way you’re. You just haven’t met the right man or lady, yet.

How to Know When Your Relationship Needs Therapy

If your relationships end up badly, or you get involved in relationships with the person not right for you, perhaps, it’s time you seek some guidance. Your family and friends will tell you what you wanted to hear, but sooner or later, you should be ready to listen to what you really need to hear and do. So, how can you know that moment has arrived? Here are some tips:

1. Most of your relationships eventually end up terribly

You’re unable to find someone right to sustain a relationship, or you typically get into destructive relationships, or even if you’re in one, you’re simply too scared to end it. In these scenarios, maybe a licensed therapist can help you. According to most therapists and relationship experts, who have experience in these type of case agree that it’s the low self-esteem and anxiety of the person that takes them to these hopeless relationships. Others reasons are an estranged ex, sexual performance stress; financial problems are also to blame. So, if you could identify these problems and get rid of them, you can change your situation.

2. You can’t meet prospective dates

A relationship expert can assist you on how to improve your communication skills, meeting potential dates, and set dates with them, and continue dating the same type of people. A dating expert can also offer you tips to revise your online dating profile to make you attractive to other people. A therapist will also help you overcome social anxiety, which is one of the main reasons people avoid to go social events or try online dating.

3. Your dependence on your family is unhealthy

Societal expectations regarding marriage and relationships aren’t the same now as they were during your parents’ time. Your parents might suggest someone as your partner, who may be not right for you because he or she meets their “requirements” for a good partner like a right job or religion. Your parents having too much influence in your love or dating isn’t a healthy sign for the most part. Taking help from a dating expert or therapist will be much better as they don’t have any emotional connection with you.

4. Your friends' relationships experiences are influencing you

Asking your friends for giving advice for relationships can be skewed as they tell it from their own experiences. For example, if one of your buddies said that long-distance relationship didn’t work for them, so he or she will most likely convince you that it won’t work for you either. If someone believes that their friends are explaining exactly how they feel, they’ll be more unwilling to seek someone else’s advice, even if it’s better or more logical. They may also convince them there aren’t any other ideas left. Ultimately, you get stuck with the same advice, and your situation hasn’t improved as well. Don’t pay too much value on your friends’ advice as they will try project their baggage on you.

Overall, if you’re having a hard time being a long-term relationship or can’t a right person to be in a relationship, and if the above situation relates to you, it’s time you need relationship therapy.