Category Archives: Relationships

Is It True That Opposites Attract When It Comes To Relationships?

We keep hearing this all the time, ‘if you want to be in a great relationship, find someone who is opposite to you.' Does it work? How come we are attracted to someone with a different set of attitudes, behaviors, interests, and views?

It’s been found that most men and women are attracted to someone who is dramatically different than them. This applies in particular when it comes to social interactions like romantic relationships. The reason this takes place is that our lives are enriched by connecting with other people with abilities that we don’t possess. But, the harsh truth, though this might makes some sense, applying this lesson in our romantic interests will be detrimental on a grand scale.

Therefore, be cautious, when you’re attracted to someone who is different in various ways than you. Sure, opposites attract, but these different traits of both partners tend to drive each other insane as the relationship matures over time. We won’t deny that finding a girlfriend or boyfriend with similar interests or background is a daunting task, if not impossible, and it’s becoming even harder as diversity among people keeps on growing. However, when two people from similar backgrounds come together, they begin the relationship from the point of strength. Maintaining their relationship gets significantly easier as all or almost all of their customs, behaviors, and practices are related to each other.

Forging a relationship with someone who is opposite is so tough because the differences you have needs negotiation and adaptation to accommodate them in the relationship. Plenty of change is required for compromise and accommodation, all of these changes and adjustments can create a lot of stress. Sometimes, there might be much difference among both parties, and the relationship won’t be able to thrive or even survive all the strains associated with adapting and compromising to each other.

What types of differences cause the most problems? If you’re looking for a good relationship partner, then look for these four specific areas.

      1. Energy Level: If he loves to relax on the couch and watch TV at most nights and she likes to go dancing at the bar three times a week – watch out.

 

      2. Personal Habits – This includes timeliness, punctuality, personal hygiene, cleanliness, weight management, drinking, and smoking.

 

      3. Use of Money – One partner like to responsible with his/her spending and like to save for the future, while the other partner is eager to spend and enjoy life now. Look out for this especially as the conflict derived from this can be disastrous to a relationship.

 

    4. Verbal Skills, Cues, and Interests – If one person is excited for more conversation, while the other wants to be relaxed and be quiet. It’s a sign there is a lot of stress here.

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t have a lot of common with you, being flexible will help to ameliorate the negatives of a relationship between opposites. Flexibility allows people to consider and evaluate the differences, bring alternative solutions, and resolving them. Of course, it will only work if both partners are committed to compromise. Remember, healthy, stable and satisfying relationships and marriages only happen if two people who are very much alike.


How To Find If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

In married life what can be more painful and devastating than discovering your partner cheating on you? In most cases, cheating takes place by exploiting the trust of a partner. There are cases when some people try to overlook their partner’s infidelity because acknowledging the truth is even more painful for them. If you suspect that your significant other is cheating on you, don’t confront him or her immediately without having any proof. It will make the situation worse and make it tough for you to discover the truth.

You can apply some tactics and practical methods to catch the infidelity of your partner. Some of these methods are efficient and proven. Here are some signs of a cheating boyfriend that you might be overlooking all these days.

1. This is the classic clue when you find strange hairs on his shirt or in the car, lipstick on his clothing or even spot a love bite in his neck.

2. The typical telltale signs when your partner is suddenly conscious about his appearance, which includes purchasing of a new wardrobe, having a facial more often or considering quick weight loss.

3. When your boyfriend without their usual accessories, like without the wedding ring he used to love or the jewelry you have gifted them and shows ridiculous excuses for it. They come home with the smell of unfamiliar cologne, though he has been using the same fragrance for years.

4. When he suddenly changes his usual routine of home and office, without any clear reason, they are often late from work, doing overtime or choosing the night shift which they used to dislike most.

5. When he looks indifferent and show a lack of interest in family affairs which is not usually their nature, they are often day dreaming and thoughtful.

6. When they show unusual love to you suddenly, treating you extremely nice for no reason, and buying you gifts.

7. When your boyfriend starts ignoring you and paying no heed to what you are saying and showing unusual anger without any clue

8. When they are suddenly encouraging you to go outside, make new friends and advising you to be more social.

9. When you find condoms in their car or purse, though they don’t use them in your bed.

10. When your partner acts uncomfortable around you and tries to avoid social events, family gathering or party with you.

11. When your boyfriend is taking exceptional care of their cell phones. They become over-protective of it and set new and complex lock patterns on their phones now and then.

12. When your partner is showing indifference to their children, lack of interest in their illness, test results, or spending less time with them than before.

13. When your boyfriend is reluctant to have sex, not enjoying it together or showing a lack of interest, showing lame excuses like, “I am not in a mood” or “I am exhausted”.

These signs are just a few indicators of your boyfriend or girlfriend who is probably cheating on you, but keep in mind that they are not absolutes. Whether you’re dating someone or in a relationship, knowing these signs in advance sure can come in handy!


What Does Dating An “Only Child” Feel Like?

If you are dating someone who is selfish like anything, doesn’t care a bit about anyone else’s feelings and is too caught up in his/her own wants then you are probably stuck with an only child. Thus, you will be aware of the characteristics of the only child syndrome. The label is basically given to all those who don’t have any siblings, and these points below will justify why the word “syndrome” has been used to refer to this situation:

#1 No sharing

They are used to getting everything just for themselves right from childhood. Whether it is their food, clothes or bedroom; they have never had to share anything with anyone. So, if you’re dating someone like this, then forget about sharing their clothes and being romantic over eating from a single plate. They just won't go for that.

#2 They are selfish

Those who are an only child are used to being spoon fed everything. Their whole world just revolves around them only. Their parents probably are responsible for most of it, but it's too late. They have only cared about what their needs are which is why you shouldn’t expect them to tak care of your needs. In fact, get ready to please them 24/7.

#3 They are not patient

Being spoon fed and getting all desires fulfilled at the blink of an eye has made them used to getting their way. Now, if you delay something that they have asked for, then get ready for a serious argument. You will always find them whining about having to wait, whether in a queue or at random events.

#4 Goal driven

This is probably the only upside to this whole situation because their parents have always given them the individual attention and a lot of time has been invested on their upbringing. This is why these kids pursue goals and are passionate to achieve them. They are intelligent and have probably always been at the top of their educational career. There is a high chance that these will be equally goal driven in their job career and will achieve a lot of success.

#5 Overprotective parents

Their parents have only had one child to look up to and now that you two are dating, his/her parents will not be okay with having to share the love. The parents will then interfere in your relationship and make things even worse.

#6 More mature

These kids have spent all their lives in the home being with only their parents. Their upbringing has been done around adults, so they tend to be more mature. This may be good or bad for you. Good because they know exactly what they want in life but bad because they might be a little boring and not up for all the crazy childish fun.

#7 Imaginary friends

They never had siblings with whom they could spend their time, so most of these kids develop some sort of imaginary friends. This can get a little scary because many of them have had these friends for a long time and continue enjoying with these friends even when they are adults.


Are You Smothering Your Partner Too Much?

Yes, there is one thing called, ‘smothering’ and too much of it can certainly scare your girlfriend. So, how can you find that you’re smothering her too much? Read on to find out:

1. Do you love me? If your girlfriend needs constant reassurance that you love them, it indicates that she feels insecure. In fact, this is where the smothering begins. It can be created by fear, anxiety and jealousy, and it will scare your girlfriend away. If a couple truly loves each other, they won’t feel insecure, and they’ll be emotionally stable.

2. How long will it take to meet your family and friends? Smothering in a relationship is rushing things too much, too soon. Allow the relationship to grow at its own pace. Don’t rush things like meeting each other’s parents, family or friends, until the time is perfect for both of you. It’s better if your girlfriend asks you to meet her family, which indicates that they’re ready for it.

3. It’s my way or the highway. Disregarding others opinions and point of view is a part of smothering. Everyone has own voice and wants to hear and appreciated. Regardless, what movie you are going to watch or where you to go for a vacation, if you’re calling all the shots, it’s very likely that you aren’t considering the other person’s desires.

4. A gift a day will make your girlfriend run away! This refers when one of the partners demand to be showered with presents every time they meet. This kind of generosity can be detrimental to the relationship during the early days of the dating as none of the parties has expressly proclaimed their affection for each other. Nobody wants to be emotionally pressured into something they aren’t ready for.

5. I just want to be alone with you all the time. If you want to see your relationship to survive and thrive, you need to give each other some space and time of their own. We understand it’s important to spend quality time with your partner, and but it’s also equally important that he or she spends separate time with friends. A fine line exists between loving and smothering, and it is better that you don’t cross it if you want to have a healthy and ever-lasting relationship.

6. Just checking in, please call me back. It’s smothering if your girlfriend calls you or texts you too much. She wanted to know where you are and whom you are with at all times. This behavior arises from fear, suspicion and other negative emotions, and often makes an otherwise healthy and loving relationship feel like a prison. The other person always feels the need to talk to you about the current state of the relationship, where is it heading and about its future. It’s the constant insecurities and reassurance that is driving your girlfriend to engage in this behavior. So, address it quickly before things are messy.

7. I can hardly wait to see you. When you’re dating someone new, it’s okay at first if he or she is keen to see or meet you. But, if it’s affecting your girlfriend to have some personal space, it means that the other person is always checking on you.

Ultimately, smothering isn’t about love; it is selfishness. When you love someone, you want the best for them. By, smothering, you’re prioritizing your needs for connection and intimacy in the relationship, instead of what your girlfriend wants. So, disengage from this behavior.


What Warrants the Second Chance In A Relationship?

We have all heard about second chances in relationships, but what warrants it? When we talk about second chances in relationships, it’s probably there has been some problems in the relationship, or the two parties have experienced some pain together. And if your boyfriend or girlfriend cause most of the problems in the relationship, or the other person is blaming you for all the troubles, then you may face a dilemma.

On the one hand, you care about this person, and you want to stay committed to the relationship. But, it’s also important that you take care of yourself and put yourself first. The question is when that time will come? How will you know that this relationship deserves a second chance? It’s a tough question, but some guidelines will help you to make a good decision for the well-being of yourself and your relationship.

A Relationship Deserves A Second Chance When:

1. You’ve been in a relationship your boyfriend or girlfriend for a long time. You both know each other very well on a genuinely and intimately. Within this period if you realize that there are some serious problems with your current partner regarding his or her character or integrity, or isn’t committed or trustworthy, it’s time that you leave this relationship. But if this person, despite all the pain he or she caused you, has demonstrated that he or she can be committed in the relationship, and has earned your trust throughout the relationship, then you can decide to give this person a second chance, and forgive him or her for their past activities.

2. Change is possible. This point is related with the first one. If you notice that your boyfriend or girlfriend has achieved some real personal growth and insight from this painful experience, then you might want to hear out your partner’s side of the story, and think about his or her request for a second chance. However, a simple sorry won’t be enough. Access yourself if real change is possible, and both of you are willing to invest your energy and time to make the change take place.

3. You received so much benefits and rewards from the relationship that you’re willing to forgive and work to address all the shortcomings. Every relationship has issues. We work on these issues because we like the good that we receive alongside these problems. The question is how much are you willing to put up with and find out how much are you getting from the relationship. However, it’s pointless to stay in a relationship where you’re always being abused and disrespected.

4. There are palliating circumstances. Be cautious about this particular point because you don’t want to give the other person a second chance, who refuses to take any responsibility if any problems appear in the relationship. However, sometimes situations arise in relationships, where one of the partners don’t act the way they’re supposed to act. Therefore, at least be willing to look into this possibility.

When you’re looking for someone, or in a relationship, keep in mind one important thing; take care of yourself. If you love and take care yourself, you will be more forgiving and work hard to salvage a relationship that is on the verge of destruction. By, taking care of yourself means that you’re acknowledging that it’s time to leave the relationships that aren't working anymore.


5 Questions To Ask Your Partner If You’re Serious About The Relationship

When you’re in a new relationship, bringing up some topics can be quite intimidating. But, you need to brave, bold and confident to have a deep conversation about these tough subjects with your significant other, if you want your relationship to be happy and successful down the road.

Here are five questions you need to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend right now:

Where is our relationship heading? When you’re in a new relationship, some inevitable questions must be asked. Ask your partner where is this relationship heading? Are we in an exclusive relationship? If not, why aren’t we? At first, these questions might make you intimidated, but they’re important because the answers will tell where you and your girlfriend or boyfriend stand at this point in the relationship. If both of you share the same relationship goals, that’s great. If not, then it’s time that you access the status of your relationship and decide whether it has a future or not.

Do you want to get married?
The truth is you need to ask this question yourself first. Are you emotionally prepared to settle down with the man or the woman you’re dating? If yes, then you need to touch on the subject with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Access if they’re willing to be in a long-term relationship with you shortly. We understand you should ask this question on the few dates, but it’s okay to discuss this crucial topic after a certain level of physical and emotional intimacy has been established with a partner. After all, you don’t want to waste your love and energy on someone who no interest to get married.

Do you talk about kids?
First, ask yourself if you feel ready about having a family of your own. Then, you’ll need to discuss with your partner what they think about the topic. If your family values are aligned with him or her, congrats! You’re close to having a family of your own and happy in your relationship. However, if one partner wants kids and the other don’t want any that might be considered a deal-breaker. Its better you end things and move on.

Are you saving for the future?
It’s imperative that you have a discussion about you and your partner’s finances early on in the s relationship. As some of the biggest tensions in relationships involve money, the sooner you talk about it with your boyfriend or girlfriend, the better. Check if you and your partner have any outstanding debts? Are you both responsible with your spending? Do you both have any retirement plans, etc.?

Where do you see yourself in 5/10/15years?
When you’re in an exclusive relationship with someone new, it’s necessary that you communicate about long-term goals, plans, aspirations and dreams with your partner. For instance, if you come to know that your partner is looking to quit his or her job, to travel around the world or start a cooking school, – and how all these changes and plans will affect your relationship, that’s an important piece of information you need to know ASAP. By making it clear about your vision of the future, you’re providing your significant other with an opportunity to decide whether they’re a good match for you or not.


8 Signs You Are Being Emotionally Abused In A Relationship

If you’ve happened to date someone with an abusive personality, you may at first seem to like charming, bragging, and phony facade, and conveniently ignoring his dubious and inconsiderate behavior. You might also downplay your instincts that he is demeaning, controlling and lying to you. What even worse, he will claim that you’re crazy or overreacting if you point this out to him, and you may accept it.

If you notice any of these following behaviors, it’s pretty sure that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. Read on:

1. He always accuses and blames you for everything. Whenever a new problem appears in the relationship, he skips all of his responsibility, and entirely accuses and blames you for it.

2. He punishes you by withholding. He dismisses your concerns and questions, he refuses to hear you out, he doesn’t make any eye contact with you, and gives you the silent treatment, or shall we say the silent punishment. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going, when will he return, and neglects your requests about money and bill payments. He tries to control you by diminishing your thoughts and emotions by withholding all kinds of approval, appreciation, affection, and information.

3. He always judges, criticizes and undermines you. He passes off his bad and harsh judgments and criticism as “constructive” criticism. If you object, he always finds a way to make you feel guilty and unreasonable. Besides, he tends to undermine most of the time. He fails to honor agreements and breaks his promises. He trivializes your thoughts, feelings, and suggestions, and undermines your interests, hobbies, efforts, duties and achievements.

4. He diverts and blocks all your conversations. When your try to have a conversation or discussion with your partner, he refuses to take part in it, or unapologetically interrupts the conversation. He pays little to no attention when you talk, twists and criticizes your words, or simply walks out of it.

5. He always contradicts you. He persistently opposes and disapproves your thoughts, feelings, perceptions and your life experiences. No matter how hard you prove your point, he always contradicts you with baseless arguments to frustrate and tire you. For example, if you say to him,’ the weather looks lovely,' he will say something harsh in reply, ‘it’s raining, and hates it.'

6. He keeps forgetting things you want or like. He ‘willingly or accidently’ forgets things that are important to you. He keeps on forgetting or missing out buying movie tickets, booking hotels, pick up the dry cleaning, or to make necessary home repairs and improvements. When you politely talk to him about it, he replies in a harsh and condescending tone by saying he’s the one who is in control.

7. He sometimes makes you go insane. He regularly combines blaming, controlling, forgetting, sadness, frustrations, distortion, confusion and drives you to the brink of going insane. He twists the truth and blames you for it. He makes you make the second guess and makes you doubtful about your reality and yourself.

8. His sense of humor is derogatory. His jokes can be classified as verbal abuses. He teases, humiliates, and ridicules in front of his family and friends regarding your appearance, personality, interests, abilities, and values. He does this because he knows all too well that you’re scared of public confrontation. If you tells him to stop or accuse him of demeaning you, he says that you can’t take a joke or too sensitive.

Emotional abuse is one worse kind of abuse in a relationship. Have a conversation or confront it when your partner does that you. If he or she still doesn’t stop it, better take the high road, break up and find someone new to love.


Are You Stuck Between Two Lovers?

While looking for a partner, some of us get stuck in a situation, where some men and women wished they could be in such a problem. How will you choose between two or more potential partners? It isn’t a rosy issue as most people might, as the reality is much more complicated. How will you decide? What qualities are you looking for a partner? What are the deal-breakers? The comparison between two good individuals is a very hard task. But, there is a way to make things easier for you.

To start, first ask yourself these five questions:

1. What do I want more in a partner and life?
Resist making a list such as, “He or she should…” Instead, begin with, ‘I want him or her…”. Sure, you list the most desirable and attractive qualities you want to see in your partner, but by changing your focus, you’ll avoid determining the choice only regarding somebody else. You’ll see that you want a lot more in life than any single person can ever deliver, when it comes to meanings, achievements, belonging and adventure. Then now go with the person who will give you the most boost and encourage you.

2. What am I scared of most?
You’ve discovered your personal, “must haves”, in the previous question. Now, it’s time you make a list of the things that your dread the most. We humans all have some particular fears with it roots since our childhoods. Maybe you’re scared of abject poverty, drug addiction, uncontrollable anger, or inability to meet your personal goals. Now, check your fears with your matches, and decide which partner is best equipped to help you avoid it.

3. Where do I excel?
Find out what are your strengths are, the things you love to do, and the things that you’re good at. Now, think about all the qualities your potential partner should have that will compliment your own potential. Relationships aren’t about one person. A loving and healthy relationship nourishes and brings the best of each other. When deciding between two equally qualified partners, think about your strengths, and determine which match might magnify or diminish them.

4. What are my weaknesses?
Naturally, we all have our strengths and our weaknesses. The key is to know yourself better to pinpoint the areas you need help. Do you often struggle with overeating? Do you self-sabotage at work? Do you have problems managing your finances? Some people will perfectly counterbalance these issues, while others will make it worse than it already is. The more you know yourself and confident, the easier it will be for you to make a choice.

5. Where do I hope to see myself after 10, 15, 20, 30 years?
Predicting the future is impossible. But, that shouldn't stop you from making projections about how you hope to see yourself in the coming decades regarding your life goals and dreams. You should choose someone who supports and is willing to make some room for your hopes, dreams and life goals.

Life and relationships are uncertain and never comes with a guarantee. No matter, how hard you try, no choice can perfect. When you’re searching for a partner, and you pick between many people, it’s you who is the best bet.


Are You Accidentally Draining The Love And Excitement From Your Dates?

The world of dating is unpredictable. Many of us well aware of the fact that a promising and loving relationship all of sudden fizzles out without any explanation whatsoever. But, if this trend keeps on happening frequently and you feel disappointed about it, maybe it’s time for you to realize that dating you isn’t as easy you might think. Maybe some of your not-so-pretty personality traits are to blame, which you can’t seem to figure out.

Here are characteristics that might describe why you’re difficult to date:

1. You’re very talkative. Many people find it unattractive when one person keeps on talking about himself or herself without giving the other person any chance to talk while on dates. The purpose of dating is to get to know about each other. If you do all the talking, the other person will miss the opportunity to be heard. You’ll miss the chance to know him/her. So, don’t be that person.

2. You’re highly opinionated. It’s perfectly fine if you’re fired up or enthusiastic about issues that interest you. It shows that you’ve passion and depth. But, if it turns into a rant on every date, there is a risk you may empty your date’s batteries really quick. Potential romantic partners hope to feel that you’re open and accepting of other points of views and opinions as well, not just of your own.

3. You’re hard to please. Some people are so protective of their comfort zone that they won’t like to see or do anything or even eat something; they don’t like or acquainted with. If you’re one of them, say yes to something new and different than you’re used to. Who knows, you might have a really good time for yourself and your partner, too.

4. You’re too rushed. If you start having a conversation about the future of your relationship like marriage, having kids, etc., after a few dates, maybe you’re taking things too fast. Doing this will drain the energy from your relationship. Romantic relationships work best and last longest, if you don’t take it very seriously. So relax, and enjoy the moments.

5. You’ve too much emotional baggage. Nobody wants to have a relationship with someone who won’t stop talking about his exes and past relationship. Your new date isn’t responsible for clearing away your emotional baggage. Therefore, deal with your relationships and heartbreaks, before you begin dating someone new again.

6. You’re very needy or clingy. Being overly desperate, needy or clingy is a very unattractive trait in a romantic relationship. Always asking your partner questions such as, ‘why were you late, or what are you doing,’ etc., is sure to annoy him or her. The less clingy you are, the more confident you’ll be, and the longer your partner will be around you.

7. You’re too demanding. Don’t strike a fight with your girlfriend when she’s 15 minutes late for the date, or don’t get annoyed with your boyfriend simply because he sometimes forgets to reserve a table at the restaurant. Don’t be too demanding or judgmental about each other’s lifestyle or personality.

The bottom line is nobody’s perfect. If you’re looking for a date, or in a relationship, and some of these qualities resonate with you, don’t despair. These conditions can be easily cured. But, you should be committed to keeping them in check after you address them.


Are Your Date Confused Over The Relationship Status?

So you guys have been dating for a while, then one day all of a sudden your date tells you that, ‘he/she don’t know what they want in the relationship’. You aren’t exactly sure what he or she is trying to tell you, and you’re confused about it and where the relationship is heading. But, statements like this are never good for the relationship.

Anyways, if you’re still scrambling to figure out what he/she meant by that, below are a few assumptions that will help you to make sense of it:

1. I don’t want to be with you – now or never. It is the most commonly used meaning of, ‘I don’t know what I want.’ The person you’re dating might or might not know why the relationship isn’t working or whom he/she would rather be dating. But, one thing is clear that your date isn’t interested in being in a relationship with your anymore. It’s sad but true. Consider this the end of your relationship.

2. I don’t know what I want. Dating isn’t easy for some people. They get confused, and that’s fine. But, the man or the woman you’re currently with tells you that he/she doesn’t fully know what they want in the relationship, he/she isn’t mentally and emotionally prepared to commit to a relationship. Don’t break up with him/her, rather give them some space. Maybe if they know what they want, he/she will return to you.

3. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, your date says these words, ‘I don’t know what I want’, to break up or end the relationship with you in a gentle and subtle manner. The reason why do it this is because they’re afraid and feel uncomfortable to hurt your feelings and emotions.

4. Something doesn’t feel right to me. There comes a moment when you just need to go with your instincts. Maybe your date is trying to express that, even after the fact that both of you’re enjoying each other’s company very much. Your partner doesn’t feel entirely comfortable or settled with the existing relationship, but he/she doesn’t know how to communicate that. If you think that your partner needs to tell you something about the relationship, encourage him/her to do it. But, don’t force anyone to stay with if they don’t want to.

5. I can’t take the pressure to make a decision about our relationship. A point arrives in a relationship where decisions about commitment and marriage need to be made, and this line refers to that. Sometimes, one of the partners doesn’t feel ready to make such life-changing decisions. They feel panicked and overwhelmed. However, the reactions can be managed by taking things slower, giving more time to your spouse to know you better, and by asking hard questions about what you both are looking for in a relationship.

6. I’m emotionally unavailable. If your partners tell you, they don’t know what they want; it implies that they aren’t emotionally ready to be in a long-term relationship. It is a deal-breaker in any relationship. If you come to realize that your partner is emotionally unavailable, it’s better to end the relationship.

If you’ve just dating someone or in a relationship, if the other person tells you they are unsure about the direction the relationship is heading, give them space to figure things out. It’s better that breaking up immediately.