Category Archives: Talk To Women

What Men Really Mean When They Say…

What men say and what women say are different when it comes to expressing his or her emotions and thoughts in relationships. Sometimes, what we say and what we really mean can leave most of us perplexed! Here are some key phrases about most men say, and what they actually mean:

1. “I don’t know”
For most guys, this is a vague response that can be applied to a wide range of questions. For example, where should we have dinner? How are you feeling right now? What flavor of ice-cream do you like? Do you like the black dress or blue dress? It’s possible that it means he didn’t this thoroughly so he can’t give a definitive answer here. Or it can imply that if he gives a truth answer, the answer will make one or both of them angry or uncomfortable. If the matter is sensitive and delicate, the last response is very much likely as he’s trying to avoid potential landmines. Ladies, if you think that this is the issue, then you better take a close look at it.

2. “Let’s take things slowly”
To many women, this statement implies that their boyfriends or partners want to have as much free fun as possible before considering being in a committed relationship. Sure, this may be right to some guys, but for some, it might be that he’s been thinking about his previous relationship where things ended badly because he and his girlfriend took things too fast. Maybe he's trying to understand the dynamics of the relationship and be sure he totally wants it before taking the relationship to the next level. So, give him the time to rethink the relationship, until his actions and thoughts prove him wrong.

3. “Can we talk about at a later date?”
Most men use these words to stall a serious and challenging conversation until it goes away. They think that if they keep delaying the issue for some time may be his partner will forget it. The reason why most men do this is that they need time to think before making important decisions and discussing sensitive subjects. Anyways, if you keep pushing him, his emotions and feelings might reach a breaking point, and he will do or say something that he will regret.

4. “I just need to hang out with my friends tonight”
This the most misunderstood of all the phrases guys say. Often, most of them carry little to no meaning at all. It certainly doesn’t mean that he’s tired or bored with his girlfriend, so he’s trying to de-clutter his mind by spending time with his friends. Spending quality time with other guys is a legitimate need that has no relevance when it comes to his desire to be with you or with the quality of your relationship. Resist yourself to fill up the gaps that don’t exist.

5. “What do you to do in bed?”
Apart from the common belief, that most guys are interested to please their girlfriends sexually, and politely asking his significant other what she desires from him, this phrase has little to do with it. Instead, it means that he cares about your sexual and emotional fulfillment and is willing to work at it and make it better. And keep in mind that when a man asks this to his woman, he also thinks that she asks for it too.


Why Are We Fools When It Comes To Love?

If you’re not entirely familiar with the feelings personally, perhaps you’ve met people who went completely bonkers when they feel in love. It might be a middle-aged man, who left his supportive and beautiful wife of 25 years for someone half her age. Or, it can be a smart and successful woman, who has her life together in every way but always fall for married guys, time after time. It appears that despite thoughtful discussions, concern, and care for their friends and family, these “crazies in love” almost seems to forget their senses, at least temporarily.

Let’s talk about a real incident here to give you some perspective. A friend of mine was in a relationship with a smart, beautiful and successful woman. For most people, this might sound like a perfect and dreamy romantic relationship, but apparently, their relationship was one big trauma.

The turmoil in the relationship began after she became sexually involved with another man. That didn’t stop him from getting married to her, thinking that his emotional health will deteriorate further if he broke up with her. Anyways, they had three kids in the marriage that lasted six years. He and his wife got divorced, and she initiated the divorce. The reason is quite evident; she got bored. Despite, all these messy parts of the whole relationship including the marriage and the divorce, and fully knowing the relationship will end badly; my friend still thinks he is in love with her.

Throughout history, the experience of being in love has always been compared with mental illness, which makes sense by looking at expressions such as crazy in love, madly in love, or lovesick. When we fall in love with somebody the feeling associated with being in love can be compared to the symptoms of certain mental disorders like obsessive desire, loss of reason, lack of self-control, and so forth. It’s common to find men and women becoming chronically obsessed with the experience of falling in love which is kind of similar to when people get addicted to drugs.

The reason that this happens that when we fall in love or attempt to make and maintain any human relationship or interaction, our brains get flooded by various biochemical that make us feel good. Some of the few the neurochemicals released while falling in love or when involved in social or romantic relationships are:

      Androgen and estrogen: responsible for sex drive.

 

      Testosterone: responsible for sex drive, monogamy, and paternal behaviors.

 

      Dopamine: responsible for attraction to others.

 

      Norepinephrine and Serotonin: responsible for well-being, predicting behavior and behavioral preparedness.

 

      Oxytocin and vasopressin: responsible for attachment, orgasm, and reducing anxiety.

 

    Endorphins: responsible for sexual arousal, sexual rewards, maternal behavior, playful or flirty behavior, etc.

Just looking at the list will make anyone feel incredibly good, and can even make some folks spin out of control when they fall in love. These “feel good” chemicals can have a powerful effect on our brains. We also respond differently to these chemicals when we fall in love. And, for some people, the effects can be overwhelming in which they will make irrational or wrong decisions.


Is it a Good Idea to Date These Certain Types of People?

Do you think dating people who you see every day is suitable? We’ve created a list of people around you who may seem to be good dating choices, but at the end of the relationship, they just test your shrewdness.

1. The Coworker
Anyone can fall in love at any place, at any time. And it can happen at work too. As we spend most of the time at work, it's no surprise that people may fall in love with their coworkers. There are some common issues that the colleagues face. Both of you have to commiserate with the boss, brainstorm over an important project, or about upcoming changes at work, without fear of annoying each other.

Your colleagues may not take your love affair well in your office area. If you more concentrate on the relationship, if they sense your productivity is lacking, they may report to your boss. Dating someone at the office means you’re taking a high risk, you take it as a resourceful way to be excited about work. If you still want to date your coworkers, tell your supervisors about it, as most companies have rules for interoffice dating.

2. The Boss
In a professional environment, dating a person in a superior position than yours is a bad idea. It’s flattering that your boss wants to date you. And, we also understand why men and women are attracted to a person with power. It’s totally understandable why dating your boss seems like a very good idea if you want preferential treatment at work, or want to get promotion fast. But, remember, one thing, no matter how good you work or nice, your coworkers will resent you and talk behind your back. And, if and when the relationship ends, it’s highly likely that you’ll lose both your new love interest and your job.

3. A Friend’s Sibling
Dating a friend’s sibling is sensitive. You think his or her family is your family and your family is his or her family. If you are thinking to date a friend’s family member, like your friend’s sister or brother, keep in mind, that your relationship between you and your friend will change. You may be his or her best friends, but your friends might oppose of you being his or her brother’s or sister’s love interest. Also, once the romantic relationship fizzles, you may lose your best friend. If you must need to date a friend’s sibling, you need to first think long and hard about the consequences of such relationships in the long-run.

4. The Neighbor
Many of us may have the attractive individual next door. You see this guy or gal out in the yard, grocery store, cleaners, gas station and so on. One beautiful summer day while you are mowing the lawn or washing the car or just enjoy a cup of coffee; it’s natural to catch up with bordering buddy Mr. Handsome. Very soon you two get pretty intimate, go for dinner dates, and partake in casual TV-watching. Dating a neighbor is certainly desirable because there’s no traveling involved. But before asking him or her out, you should weigh the pros and cons of getting involved with someone who lives so close. Because should your relationship goes south, you will run into your old flame frequently including at grocery stores, gas station, farmer’s market, etc.

5. Your Ex or Your Friend’s Ex
We call it a break up because the relationship is broken. Dating your ex or revisiting a past relationship for the hope of a dramatic change in your life is meaningless. You may expect a second chance, or maybe you rightfully deserve one but don’t expect miracles. There is no guarantee that a second chance will reignite the fire the romance in your old relationship, nor will it make it work.


How To Talk About The Future Of Your Relationship?

A relationship is not a product which we can buy by bargaining. It is the conjunction of two human beings forever. If you have a partner you don’t want to lose you have to be careful of him or her. But it is not that you need won't ask anything to your partner. So know about how you talk about the future in the relationship. There are some ways you can perfectly start a conversation about your relationship with your partner:

Why you or your partner want to start a discussion is probably both of you want to know about each other, or you have some questions relating your partner. There are many points may to discuss in a relationship likes- Do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids? How many kids do you want? Who will be liable for financial matter? Your partner is not your enemy he or she is your most beloved person. So when starting a conversation, take care of your partner as follow:

1. By taking care of your partner. If both of you are going to have a serious discussion about the future of your relationship, just put your phones away. It is a decent thing you could do for your partner just like when you are working. It’s best not to get distracted. It shows your partner that you care him/her and you are serious too.

2. By listening than talking. Listen to what your boyfriend or girlfriend is saying because you want to know your partner deeply. As a good listener, you can discover a particular problem that your partner is having. If you have any worries or concerns, you clear them up the right way. You will understand your partner from active listening.

3. Don’t feel hurt by what your partner is saying. When you are talking about the future in a relationship, sometimes it doesn’t go the way you want. So you must have preparation for that. When you are listening, don't start bargaining if you hear something that you don't like. Remember that it's hard for someone to be completely vulnerable in this situation. Keep your facial expressions as loud as your words. To understand a person you need a lot more intellectual and emotional work than judgment does.

4. Be completely honest. Be entirely honest while having a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Speak your truth with clarity, love, and gentleness. If you dodge the truth out of fear of how it will be received, you are only building bigger walls in your relationship. The more you are honest, the healthier your relationship tends to be. You will see very positive changes in your relationship.

5. Know more if there’s still confusion. Don't be afraid of asking questions. If you are still concerned about a previous statement or matter, repeat what he/she said and ask him/her to elaborate so you can get a clear understanding.

6. Don't think it's too late. If you're scared to speak up, then you hurting your relationship as well as hurting yourself. Take the time to think what you want to talk in a casual conversation. When couples consistently disagree with each other, they run the risk of never having the chance to resolve the underlying dispute.

When you’re dating someone or in a relationship, we aren’t saying that it is easy to talk about the future, but it's important to be in the same boat with your partner. Take a moment to gather all your thoughts, and dive right in. Not only be honest buy also be romantic, but this will also be appreciated!


When is a Good Time To Talk About The Future Of Your Relationship?

When you have any concern or points to ask your partner, or you just want to have in-depth discussions about the future of your relationship, choosing the right timing is an important issue. Most men and women tend to rush in these matters, and sometimes the outcome isn't according to expectations. Here's how you can do it:

1. When To Bring It Up
The first date is the knowing-each-other-phase of any relationship. Your career is a good topic for a first date. If you hate your job or want to get a promotion, keep it to yourself on the first few dates. Rather than complaining about your boss, talk about where you hope your career will go in the future or jump into other topics outside the office. Another sensitive area for some people is discussing on money issues. You can consider discussing your financial condition so that it doesn’t create any concern.

2. Let The Points Come Naturally
There’s no magic timeline for talking on the serious issues with your partner. We can’t tell you to wait months after month. You can fix an “XYZ” date to start a discussion. Listening to your instincts is important. This is not that you have to ask all questions or issues within one day or two. There are some issues you can raise early. For example, if you’re a middle-aged woman and want kids, then you may not want to spend time developing a relationship only to know he’s not interested in raising a family. So, in this case, some issues may need to come up earlier. If you hear that he or she came from a big family, you might ask something like, “Do you enjoy being in a big family? The typical conversation you start, the less pressure your partner will feel.

3. Don’t Make The Conversation Too Heavy
While asking your questions, avoid making things feel too serious. It’s not that the query has to remain ultra light. In an early relationship, you needn’t have a serious talk about how you’re going to save for your retirement. Instead, you can gently say that you don’t like your paycheck go toward your retirement and saving is important to you.

4. Be Honest
Love each other and tell the truth about you straight forward. Some couples lie which may drive them to a break. Why do people lie? We lie when we want to hide something from others. In a relationship when there arise a question about any object that you want to hide, just take a little time and prepare yourself, to tell the truth instead of lying.

5. Focus On Exploration And Listening Instead Of Testing And Judging
A motivational question is most advantageous when a trusting relationship is established. Focus on learning about each other instead of testing. You will both enjoy when the conversation flows in a natural manner instead of grilling each other. If you are not listening reflectively, and if you are instead imposing direction and judgment, you are impairing the relationship. What your girlfriend/boyfriend is trying to tell you about how he/she is experiencing you. Rather than argue every small detail, you should look for the truth in what your partner says to you.

It is very hard to talk about the future, when you’re dating someone or in a relationship. But, things can be made easy if get to know each other, talk honestly about all the issues in your relationship, and listening to it instead of arguing and judging each other.


Are Men Are Emotionally More Distant Than Women in Relationship? Find, Why…

According to a new research, it’s been reported that men are more emotionally distant than women when it comes to being involved in relationships. It’s also been found that women are more emotionally and physically involved in their relationships than men are. Besides, a woman’s well-being and happiness depend on mostly how things are going in their intimate relationships. This might be surprising to most folks, but the reality is that it’s true.

It’s not brainier that it’s the women in relationships who usually points out the various problems in a relationship. Women typically seek professional help or therapy for the relationship or marriage. It is women who spend a heck lot of time reading self-help books and attending seminars about marriages and relationships.

But, why is that a woman tends to be more invested in her relationship than her partner? The fact lies in biology. You see women are biologically wired to be the nurturers. It’s them who anticipate the needs and feelings of their partners, take care, invest and nurture the relationship. It’s them who resolve problems in a relationship if things go awry. Meanwhile, men are biologically wired to be caretakers, protectors, and providers. It doesn’t mean that men aren’t fond to be committed in a relationship. Relationships are important to men; it’s just they show it a different way than women, by working hard, trying hard to build a career, and keeping an emotional distance. Men think being emotional and sensitive as a sign of weakness, while for women these are great qualities.

Some women ask if there is a way to change their partners, or how can they get their husbands or boyfriends to be more involved in the relationship. The truth is it won’t work, and you too shouldn’t try to change him. It’s because functionally and biologically men and women are different.

It’s true that when it comes to involvement and benefits, men and women aren’t on the same page, but both are interested in intimacy. Young women mostly seek connection in their relationships. So, they’ve kids, take care of their families, and nurture their intimate relationships. Things like having a career don’t resonate equally to women as men. That doesn’t mean women don’t want to have careers. Men, on the flipside, are most focused to be important and recognized. They’re interested in making a difference and making an impact in the world. The focus men put on work tends to be much higher than relationships, and starting families.

The dynamics change when the kids grow older and leave home. Now, women believe they’ve invested all of their life for the family; now it’s time they invest in themselves. They try to get jobs, begin a career or create their businesses. Meanwhile, when men realize their kids are gone, they get sad and miss them very much. They’re also tired of the rat race and crave for a connection from their partners.

These differences make relationships interesting and enjoyable. So, recognize, embrace and celebrate the differences. These will help both of you to intimate physically and emotionally.


8 Ways To Be Get Better at Flirting

When it comes to flirting, it’s different for both men and women. You need to have confidence if you want to master the art of flirting. Remember, no relationship have started without successful flirting. Most of our communication is non-verbal. Our body language speaks first, and from our body language, people can tell if we are confident or anxious. Flirting can be pleasant and friendly. It will open door of different opportunities to you. Heck, you’ll end up with a girlfriend or a man, and if not, at least a good friend. Maybe your new buddy will introduce you to someone who will be your partner!

Anyway, here are eight ways on how to successful in flirting:

1. Relax
Flirting is all about being playful and having fun. Be funny, laugh, lighthearted and entertaining. Flirt in a way that the person becomes interested in you and wants to talk to you.

2. Be Full Of Confidence
If you want to successful in flirting, you need to have a positive attitude towards life. It will help you to transmit the feel-good factor when you approach someone and have a conversation with them. Everyone is attracted to people who are optimistic and full of energy.

3. Give Genuine Compliments
People like to spend with someone who makes them feel good about themselves. So, when they compliment you, don’t forget to thank them.

4. Listen
Focus and pay attention to others when they tell you or ask you something. Encourage them to open up and honestly talk about themselves. Show interest and be sincere to their conversations.

5. Don’t Be Rude
One thing you should never do when flirting is to be sexually explicit and being offensive to a man, or a woman is he or she isn’t interested or responds to you. If someone shows no interest towards you, take the hint and move on. If you get rejected most of the time, then probably you should look for a different approach rather than flirting.

6. Don’t Forget To Send An Email After Chatting.
This gesture is similar to sending a gift or a thank you not, and it’s crucial to flirt successfully. Besides, don’t take things too fast.

7. Respect Is Key.
Touching is can lovely and in some circumstances, vital to flirt successfully. But, it doesn’t cross boundaries. Touching someone you’re flirting should be confined to the arms like placing your hands on someone’s arms. Before touching, try to understand their reaction, when you move close to someone. Then retreat a little backward and notice their actions. After you have exchanged glances and smiles with the person, we can easily tell you that this man or woman is attracted to you. So, approach him or her respectfully.

8. Respect Yourself.
Respect yourself at all times. Women like men who are unreachable. Think highly of yourself, and be special and unique. Always tell yourself that you deserve nothing but the very best.

Flirting is art and hard to master. It’s one of the first steps to attracting a woman or man, later being in a successful relationship. Having said that, what are you still waiting for? Get out there, flirt and bag yourself a partner!


Rules On Dating Again After A Breakup

Often people say that the best way to recover from a breakup is to get back immediately in the dating scene and start dating. We aren’t saying that’s it's wrong, but it could backfire. So, we won’t suggest this to anyone. The thing is dating can sometimes be challenging. Finding a great match, and falling in love is a slow and a thoughtful process. If we don't rush, be patient, and make the right decisions, beautiful things can happen. Consequently, making hasty decisions will result in accidents.

So, after a breakup or a divorce, they rush into a new relationship. They believe that being in a new relationship will help them deal with pain from their previous relationship. It’s okay to feel that way. We all want to in loving, committed relationships. But, if you really want to get over from your past split, and want to have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to follow some ground rules. These are:

First, let’s make it clear that you’ll meet a lot of potential partners when you’re ready to date after a split. You’re ready to date when you’re –

      • Fully headed from your past relationship;

 

      • Acknowledge all the reasons why it ended;

 

      • You’re accountable for your part of the split, and

 

    • You’ve learned and transformed from the experience.

Now, that we’ve established that, let’s talk how can you be a great dater. You’re ready to go on dates if:

1. The breakup has completely transformed you, and you want to continue going ahead with your life.
2. You’re optimistic and enthusiastic.
3. You feel empowered and full of confidence.
4. You have a new positive and refreshing attitude about being in romantic relationships and think that you find notice positive changes in your life if you start dating again.
5. You are positive about dating process, despite the occasional rejection, frustration, bad dates, etc.
6. You fully understand that if you’ve met someone right for you, you’ll not rush it.
7. You envision what a healthy, committed relationship consists, and any exception from it is just not worth your time and effort.
8. You feel that you have a lot to offer the right person if he or she finds you.
9. You believe you have that motivation and the confidence to put yourself back in the dating area, keep trying until you find a man or woman who meets most of your realistic criteria.
10. You’ve decided that you’ll have a relationship with someone who has most your sensible qualities, and the least of your deal-breakers.
11. You have a great support mechanism set up consisting mostly of your family members and close friend to cheer you along.

If you’ve been out of a relationship recently, dating someone new can be overwhelming at times. If you agree with all statements listed above, you would be happy to tell that you’ve to move on from your past relationship, and ready to date again with a solid foundation. Alternatively, if some or most of these statements don’t resonate with you, we would recommend you take some time and commitment to deal with your recovery regimen.


How to Ask Your Boyfriend to Stop Texting and Start Talking

If you’re dating or in a relationship or looking for someone new, you might get frustrated if you see that your man likes to text you most of time, instead of talking. So, how can you get your guy to give his obsession with texting and finally make him talk? Here are some tips that will help you out:

1. Be honest. Tell your man that you understand that texting is efficient and effective given that you both are busy with work, but you still have time to talk to him and have a conversation over the phone. Tell him that simple one line messages like, “I love you,” or “I am missing you,” warms up your heart, but if he wants to have and deep and engaging conversation, calling you is the best option. If you see that your man isn’t comfortable with having long conversations with you over the phone, tell him that you’ll call him back if he texts you. You can also tell him always texting him isn’t easy for you at work, which may or may not be entirely accurate, but it will entice him to call you occasionally, nonetheless.

2. If your guy really likes you, he will call you. Usually, this happens after the initial days of dating. If a man is interested in you, he will call you. He will call you more than texting you because he wants to hear your voice and your laughs and vice versa. However, remember, that you both aren’t in high school anymore, so don’t spend hours talking or until both of your phones dies out. Ten to 20 minutes talking on the phone is acceptable, but if can’t honor that time limit, then you both need to spend some real time together over the weekend.

3. Texting can be sweet. Receiving a text a “good morning “ or a “good night” or a funny picture is a nice and fun way to keep in touch with your partner if you at work, family or business trip. Texting at these situations isn’t only convenient and efficient; it’s the only way you’ve to maintain communication with your boyfriend. If you give your date or someone you like your number, give it only on condition, and that is he should call you. Most men are just afraid of getting rejected, or you’ll turn him down. So, they feel safe and more confident if they text, chat with you online or send emails. Therefore, when he asks for your number, tell him that you’ll be waiting for his call – it will boost his self-esteem and confidence.

Keep in mind, sometimes a phone call can be seen as obstructive, so it’s very likely he is comfortable texting you because he doesn’t want to disturb or interrupt you. In this situation, tell your man that you are the kind of woman who prefers calls over text or chatting online. See if he takes that advice, but we hope that you both can reach a compromise. If a man really likes or interested in you, he will call you. If you ask him to call or gave hints or signs that you want him to call you, he still won’t call you. If that’s the case, maybe there is a communication gap. If your man still isn’t calling you, then call him and say him goodbye for the final time!


What To Do If Your Friends Don’t Like Your Partner

So your friends don't like your new partner. You’re really in love with this person, makes you happy and so far things are going okay. However, things start to go bad when you’re with your friends, and they aren’t supportive of your new partner and your new relationship. You find yourself that you’re spending a heck a lot of time with your buddies, defending your new found love interest and the relationship. You’re now thinking about leaving your friends for the sake of your new relationship but finding it hard to do so. So, what are you going to do?

Here are five ways to help you out why your friends don’t like your new partner:

1. Analyze the situation: Are your friends jealous of you? Are they envious of your partner? Does your new partner treat your friends with kindness and respect? Does your new partner flirtatious towards your buddies? Does your love interest attentive towards you? Does he or she respectful or complains in front of your pals? Try to understand the situation from your friends’ perspective and find out any possible evidence that makes your friends dislike your new partner.

2. Value their feedback: If you find that some of the information your friends said about your partner is true, then take it seriously and take steps how you can handle it. Also, try to get your friends feedback if your new partner’s bad behavior is affecting them in a negative way or else.

3. Question your partner: Does your partner pressure you to be with him or her and avoid your friends? Does your partner treat your with respect? Does he or she talk to you in a kind and loving way? Do you feel satisfied and responsible with your new relationship? If you see that your new spouse is rude to your buddies, then it’s your responsibility to handle the situation. Remember, if your new partner loves and cares about you, he or she will definitely be respectful towards your friends.

4. Question your friends: Did you find yourself in situations where your friends don’t want you to be close to your new partner? Do you threaten you that you will lose your friends or they won’t be hang out with you if you keep dating your new partner? At times your friends can become desperate and needy and want attention from you. It’s for this reason that all lines of communication open are necessary here. If you find that your friends are envious and jealous of you, then you’ve nothing but to tell them that it is what it is and eventually they have to accept it and be okay with it. If your friends genuinely care for you, they will get off your back.

5. Manage your time: If your complain to you that you aren’t spending much time with them, then try to work out a plan that can make your partner and your buddies happy at the same time. Don’t abandon your friends. If there’s a rift between your friends, fix it. Commit to spending some quality time with them.

If you’re in a relationship with someone new and your find that your friends don’t like, make it clear to them that it’s your life and they have to accept your decision, regardless if it’s right or bad for you.