Forgiveness is a virtue – but how many of us truly understand what this means? Forgiveness comprises a complex network of emotions namely pain, frustration, anger and fear. We humans are doing everything we can to avoid all of these emotions. The harsh truth is that it is almost impossible to stay away from these intimate human feelings, no matter how hard we try.
Many of us have been hurt while dating and during our relationships. We have all experienced pain, frustration, anger, and fear to some extent. These emotions have probably shaped our perspective of the world around us; they influenced our decisions, our feelings, our attitude, our health – in short, these negative emotions have made us who we are.
Now, the thing we should ponder is to what extent should these negative emotions have control of our lives?
To forgive isn’t easy. It isn’t natural. It isn’t a graceful act that is bestowed on an individual. In fact, it’s an active and challenging internal process that is designed specifically for you, to help you. By shedding all of those listed negative emotions, you’ll feel inner peace, happiness, and love.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner has cheated on you – You could feel rejected and angry and ultimately end the relationship. You may give up on the idea of what a relationship is all about and how your life changes if you’re in a relationship. Think of the pain you get after learning about partner’s infidelities.
Did you give yourself time to grieve? Did you confront your ex emotionally? Are you angry and resentful towards your ex? Are you holding your pain inside of you which is preventing you from moving on?
If you keep holding on to these negative emotions for a long time, they’ll manifest in your psyche. As time passes, you’ll have a hard time to trusting others. You may keep thinking that even if you forgive them and reconnect, there is no guarantee that they won’t hurt you again. So, you’re no longer interested to have committed, exclusive relationships, and try to find solace in casual relationships that never quite satisfies you or completes you. Perhaps, it’s time to let go of all the negativity in your life and embrace forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice to help yourself. It will release you from the prisons of your negative emotions and help you to feel peace, joy, and love again. Forgiveness will heal not only your emotional scars but also the physical ones. You’ll have healthier relationships, less depression, stress, and a stronger immune system. You will also develop (hopefully) higher self-esteem and confidence and improved spiritual and psychological well-being.
If you are still not ready to forgive your ex, start small and let go of the little things that happen in your life. If you’re able to forgive and let go of smaller things, you can hopefully learn to let go of the bigger stuff like you ex who cheated on you or forgive and get back with her again and give your relationship a second chance.