That terrible moment has arrived. You’ve finally decided to end the relationship. She isn’t the right person for you, and you know very well that you’re going to break her heart. She has been crazy in love with you, and she likes hanging out with you just like you do. But, at the end, you realize the love, the excitement, and the chemistry aren't there anymore. That raging fire in the relationship extinguished a long time ago. She has been pressuring you to spend more time with her, to commit more, and to take the next important step in the relationship, but you simply resist. You feel overwhelmed and reached to the point that you started to ignore her calls and texts, and get annoyed quickly by her anxious requests.
Breaking up with someone you love isn’t easy, and no matter how hard you try to make it easy or pleasant, the other person will get hurt tremendously. However, there are ways to end a relationship that will minimize the pain while keeping all the necessary boundaries intact. Read on to find more:
1. Don’t make it about her. When you bash or talk ill about your partner to someone, two things can happen. One, she can get defensive and attack you back. Things can get ugly really quick. And two, it will give her the opportunity to be of the person you like her to see and quit her unwanted tendencies. Besides, you’ll have to deal with a conversation that’s already uncomfortable where she pleads to give her another chance to make things better.
2. Make it about you. This is no brainer. It’s has been all about you anyway. Be honest and tell the truth that the reason you’re breaking up with her is that some things didn’t work out. Also, tell her that you don’t want the same things she wants, or you can’t meet her wants and needs.
3. Don’t give any false hope you might change your decision in the future. It’s unwise to give your ex false hope that you might feel different about the decision and can reconcile. Make the ending final. Be kind and respectful, but adamant. Set her free, let go of her, so she can find someone new and move on with her life.
4. Don’t talk or see her after the end of the conversation. After having the breakup talk, don’t agree if she wants or begs to see or speak to you for the last time. Even if you miss her sometimes, don’t think of reaching out to her. Make the break up as clean as you can. If you call or text her, it will just give out the wrong message, and your ex will think that you miss and be together again.
5. Take some time out and reflect on your past relationship. After ending a romantic relationship, don’t start dating someone quickly to compensate for your loneliness. Rather take some time out of your busy schedule and reflect on what just happened, what this relationship has taught you, what you have learned about yourself, your needs, your desires, etc.
Use these learning and apply it to your next relationship. Appreciate the lessons, love, gratitude and gifts that your ex has given to you.