It’s natural and common for most people to date someone whom they’re really attracted to sexually. However, for some individuals it’s better for them to date people they aren’t immediately attracted to at first, but there are reasons for it.
For people who didn’t have a normal childhood and who came from dysfunctional families, they would probably be in relationships with individuals who don’t have the inclination to focus on their needs. Meanwhile, for people who came from homes with usual problems and didn’t face any tragic emotional problems or breakups, it’s okay for them to date people they like from the beginning. The catch here is that for men and women who came from dysfunctional families and had a bad childhood or faced serious relationship problems tend to have partners who aren’t right for them.
There are people who don’t want to date or have relationships with someone who are “too caring or nice” for them, because they’re scared of experiencing real emotional intimacy. Instead, they tell themselves that they want to be with someone who has similar messed up or a troubled life. If you come from a family where there was a lot of abuse, neglect or emotional drama, you should be careful with whom you feel attracted to and date. The reason you relate to this person is that it reminds of someone or a relationship in the past. But, it’s wise for you to walk away from someone you are instantly connected to in the start. Instead, you should be dating someone who at first may sound boring or as some say, “too nice”.
So, what about sexual attraction? You need to change the type of the individual you’re attracted to. And the only approach to do that is having a relationship with a kind and reliable person, even if you aren’t sexually attracted to them or don’t find them interesting. In fact, most people who are now in committed relationships said that they didn’t find their partners sexually attracted while they were first dating. But, they changed and forced themselves to give their partners a chance and after dating them for a few months, they eventually they preferred this type of individuals, who are nice and boring.
Meanwhile, don’t get disillusioned by people who portray sexy or alluring personas. These types of people will go great lengths to look appealing and charming and try very hard to say what they think you want to hear. And when they speak, they’ll always say the right words to seduce you, but they soon change and aren’t available once they hook you up. So, try to avoid these people who are too focused on making themselves attractive and appealing to other people.
The overall lesson here if you haven’t still involved in a long-term and committed relationship; you should avoid dating people that can remind you of someone from your dysfunctional past. Sure, they may look appealing to you at first, but in the end, you will be hurt. So, be cautious about whom you date, and you’ll make better decisions about your relationships.