Dating a Former Cheater? Ask Yourself These Important Questions, First!

Dating someone with a history of cheating is complicated and depends on a lot of factors such as how long ago the person has cheated, why did he/she cheated, and so on. Infidelity can be found in almost every culture, regardless if a person has a history of cheating or not. If you’ve decided to date someone with a cheating history, you should be careful.

Consider asking your date the following questions, before you take the plunge:

Does the person acknowledge his or her actions?
If the person you’re interested admits that he or she made some mistakes and terrible life choices, and recognizes that his or her actions have affected the people he cared and loved, then it’s a good place to start. This acceptance of responsibility shows his or her level of self-awareness and good ethical sense. On the other hand, if the persons make excuses and blame his or her partner for all the problems in the relationship including the cheating, and refuses to take any responsibility for his or her actions, then this person is not right.

Did he or she learn and grown from the experience?
This refers if the person has reached a highly developed phase of relational maturity. If you want to have a romantic and committed relationship with this person, you need to ensure that whether he or she have reached the level of maturity in which they’re accepting of what they did in their previous relationships. Also, he or she should explain that how they will be different this time, and what have they done to be more loyal and faithful in their new relationships. Also, the person should also make it clear whether they experienced some transformations after their cheating scandals. Often, cheaters change into whole new people and how they interact with other people and treat people completely in a different way. Check for yourself if the person you’re interested has faced such a transformation in a genuine way and witnessed some spiritual awakening. If yes, you can seriously consider having a relationship with this person.

Are you worried that someone will cheat on you?
Are you the kind of person who finds it hard to forget a past scenario? Are you always worried or doubtful of your relationships? Do you think you can’t trust your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you find it irresistible to check his or her cell phone numbers or read his or her emails? If yes, then you seriously need to address these issues. Otherwise, it will be detrimental to your relationship and create obstacles to establish a real intimate connection between you and the other person.

Do you agree what your instincts say?
Sometimes we don’t give enough credits to what our intuitions tell us. Listen to the inner voice and figure out are you truly okay with dating this person? Do you trust him or her fully? Do your instincts tell you that this person is truthful, reliable and has a high level of integrity? If you answer these questions and the ones above and believe that this former cheater is a changed person, and he or she will be honest and be committed in a relationship with you, then you might consider giving this person shot. But, if your instincts tell something is wrong, then trust your instincts and move on.

Regardless of whom your date, take care of yourself and find someone to love who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.


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