When it comes to dates, we all have a type. Some men like blondes, while women might admit they like men who are tall and ambitious. Another important point to note here is that some men and women have a tendency to date the same type of person, despite knowing the fact it will lead to an unhealthy relationship and ultimately will leave them broken-hearted. What’s more surprising is that it had led them to this situation over and over again. But there is good news for folks stuck in this vicious loop while looking for partners. Patterns are not absolutes. They can be broken.
However, you need to remember that dismantling a bad dating pattern can’t be done in one step. It’s a three-step process.
Step #1: Ask Yourself Why
There is a reason you’re attracted to people who you go for. Maybe you like a challenge, perhaps you like their looks, but, most likely, you’re drawn to particular types of men and women because they resonate with you in some form of deeper perception of yourself. In the dating world, people go for with what they feel safe and familiar with. Why? People are afraid of the unknown. Much of these feelings and emotions have been derived from our childhoods. For example, while growing up, if you didn't like your parents, you may see yourself dating people who also dislike their parents. If you did like your parents, you would like to date people who are similar to them.
Step #2: Pay Close Attention On How You Speak To Yourself
Whether you think quietly, or talk to yourself loudly, you’re talking to yourself one way or another regularly. What are the things do you keep telling yourself? What do you think you deserve more? What is your reaction when faced with failure or rejection? Do you date people you reinforce you to self-talk? Often, people feel the most familiar to us when they resonate their inner thoughts and feelings that are fleeting in our minds. There is something that is holding you back from changing the kinds of men and women you date. The moment you find whatever this thing or these things are, you will have the ability to select your potential partners differently.
Step #3: Practice Loving Yourself
We keep telling this all the time to all those single men and women looking for love, yet they’re still not in a relationship. If you want to love someone else, start loving yourself at first. This loving yourself thing doesn't require to stockpiling on hand lotions or start using battery operated toys. Instead, it means loving yourself without having a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Most people, despite being in a crappy, abusive relationship refuse to break up or fear breakups because intensively scared of loneliness. You must eliminate this fear if you’re seriously adamant in breaking the pattern of bad dating. Therefore, get some time off from your busy work schedule; use that time to deal with yourself with that fear, and destroy that fear of being single and alone. If you feel confident and comfortable being single, you can make changes in your dating pattern by seeing people based on what you feel, rather than what makes your afraid.