All posts by Brittany best

Is Your Partner Afraid Of Commitment? Here’s How To Tell!

We've all known at least one person who is a total commitment-phobe. They steer clear of long-term relationships. They always avoid official titles like “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” They're terrified of taking a vacation “as a couple.” Oh, and they never ever want to meet someone's family or get to know their friends. They basically avoid any aspect of a serious relationship and they are known to bail on partners when they get too attached. While we've all known someone like this, what happens when you're the one dating someone like this?

Are you falling for someone who is afraid of commitment? Are you afraid that your new partner might jump ship at the first sign of things getting serious? It totally sucks to be in a relationship with someone who is afraid to commit, but fortunately there are ways to find out what you're dealing with before you get too attached.
afraid of intimacy

It turns out, people who are afraid of commitment usually give off some major red flags early on in a relationship. One major sign is their dating history. Have all of their relationships been short-lived? If they've never dated someone for more than one or two months, you may have someone who is a total commitment-phobe. Relationships typically stay pretty casual in the first two months. It isn't until the third month mark that people want to make things more serious. If your partner has a pattern of bailing before that third month, it could be because they are afraid of making the long-term commitment to someone.

Another major sign that your partner is afraid of commitment is a reluctance to be intimate. We're not talking about sex. On the contrary, people who are afraid of commitment have no problem jumping into bed with someone. We're talking about emotional intimacy. Are they very vague with you about their thoughts and feelings? Do they hold a lot back and refuse to really open up to you? It could be that they see emotional vulnerability as a sign of commitment. After all, most people only open up to someone they really trust and plan to keep in their lives. If your partner knows that they're going to leave the relationship shortly, they likely won't open up to you at all.

avoiding intimacy

A third and very important red flag concerning commitment-phobes is the refusal to acknowledge relationship titles. Have you been going out with this person for more than a month and they're still calling you a “friend?” If you're the only person they're seeing, the two of you are in a relationship and most people would consider you worthy of a “boyfriend/girlfriend” title. People who are afraid of commitment avoid these titles like the plague. As long as you're not officially their boyfriend or girlfriend, they can drop you at any moment. It's a lot easier to walk away from a new friendship than an actual relationship, right? Labeling you as a friend keeps you at arm's length and relatively disposable.

While these are not always foolproof signs your partner is afraid of commitment, they are in most cases. (We can't be right all the time, can we?) It's important to recognize these signs early on so you don't get too invested in a commitment-phobe only to have your heart broken!

commitment phobic

4 Realistic Dating Rules Everyone Should Follow

Is it better to be romantic or realistic when it comes to dating? While it may feel good to be a hopeless romantic, it's always wiser to be realistic about your love life. That's why everyone should follow these four realistic dating rules:

1. Let them know right away if you're not interested.

From the time you're a child you're taught to not hurt people's feelings. You're taught to always be kind to people, to compliment people, to encourage people, etc. This expectation is engrained in our heads and as we get older, it carries over into our love lives. This is why so many people have a hard time turning someone down. It's understandable that you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but you're going to hurt them worse in the long run if you don't just reject them right away. If someone propositions you and you're not interested, let them know. Don't lead them on. Don't host their advances. This just leads them to believe that you're interested when you know very well that you are not. Rejecting them in the first place is nothing compared to stringing them along for some time and then rejecting them.

2. Don't have unrealistic expectations.

When it comes to realistic dating rules, one of the biggest ones to follow is to not have unrealistic expectations. This is not saying that you should settle. We would never advise you to settle for less than what you deserve. With that said, you can't expect the world from someone. If you're setting the bar too high, you're going to be disappointed by everyone. You need to recognize when you're being unreasonable with potential partners. Wanting someone to make millions or cater to your every whim and wish is unreasonable. Wanting someone to abandon their friends and family for you is unreasonable. Having unrealistic expectations like these is only going to leave you lonely in the end.

dating rules for realists

3. Pay attention to red flags.

We cannot stress this one enough: Don't ignore red flags! Red flags are a blessing and they should always be taken into account. There's an old saying that goes, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” When you see something concerning about a new partner, accept that it is most likely part of who they are and how they'll be down the road. If you're in the early stages of a relationship and you're noticing major red flags, get out. Staying in a situation after you've seen the red flags is only going to lead to a disaster. You'll become more invested in this person and get emotionally attached, only for those red flags to become reality. Then you're left with a broken heart because you didn't get out when you had the chance.

4. Stop playing hard to get.

Someone, somewhere, sometime long ago, started telling women that playing hard to get would lead to a lasting relationship. They were wrong. For whatever reason, women have been led to believe that playing hard to get makes them appear more interesting, elusive, and overall desirable. It makes the other person believe that the woman is too busy to pay attention to them or that she's just not interested. In some cases, this makes the man work harder and chase the woman. In other cases, it makes the man actually believe that she is not interested and he moves on. For this reason, we suggest you abandon the idea of playing hard to get. We're all adults here. If you're interested in someone, you shouldn't play games. Let them know you're interested and see where it goes from there.

dating rules for everyone

5 Ways That A Bad Breakup Can Affect Your Health

Almost everyone has been through a bad breakup at some point in their life. While we all know that breaking up is hard to do, can it actually affect your physical well-being? It turns out, really bad breakups can have detrimental health effects. Find out five ways that a bad breakup can affect your health below:

1. Heart Issues

There may be an actual reason that they say breakups lead to heartache. A particularly emotional breakup can actually lead to issues with your heart, such as palpitations, tachycardia, and angina. This is usually due to the fight-or-flight response that occurs when our bodies are responding to a stressful situation. For some people, a breakup can be so bad that it triggers a drastic change in the electrical activity of their heart. While this is usually a result of the mental and emotional stress breakups cause, you should always check with your doctor if you're having any unusual symptoms related to your heart.

breakups and health

2. Insomnia

Most people suffer from sleepless nights after a bad breakup. You're probably tossing and turning, over-analyzing every detail of the relationship and where things went wrong. This is totally common and should actually be expected. This is especially true when it was a longer relationship. You'll spend even more nights tossing and turning in this case. However, if this goes on too long, it's going to affect other aspects of your health. Lack of sleep can have serious consequences for your metabolism, digestive system, and mental health.

breaking up and health

3. Digestive Issues

One of the lesser known ways that a bad breakup can affect your health is by messing up your digestive system. Many people will experience digestive issues after a breakup but very few realize why this is happening. The stress of a breakup can actually throw off your digestion, leading to nausea, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea. This is especially true if the breakup has affected your eating habits. If you find yourself eating more or less after a breakup, it's going to change the way your digestive system is operating.

breakups and health issues

4. Lethargy

Breakups can be absolutely draining. You'll find yourself laying in bed for hours and yet still feeling exhausted the rest of the day. This could be because you're not actually sleeping, like we mentioned earlier. It could also be that the emotional turmoil of the breakup has just drained your energy. Either way, breaking up can leave you lethargic and fatigued, like you're running on fumes.

breakups and health

5. Weight Loss

One of the most common ways that a breakup can affect your health is by causing you to lose weight at rapid speed. Many people lose their appetite during times of emotional stress. When this goes on for days or weeks, you'll notice a drastic drop in your weight. While you may think this is a good thing, sudden and significant weight loss is not always good for your health. Losing weight too quickly can lead to heart problems, digestive issues, and neurological decline if not safely monitored by a physician.

breaking up and health

8 Habits To Give Up For the Good Of Your Relationship

What is the best way to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship? The first step is to drop any bad habits you have that are destructive to your love life. There are certain habits that will only lead to the demise of a relationship and you need to step back, take a look at yourself, and see if you have any of these pesky habits. Check out eight habits to give up for the good of your relationship:

1. Your Social Media Addiction

Social media has definitely enhanced the way we live our lives and there are numerous benefits to using it, but it has also been the downfall of many relationships. If you find yourself spending hours a day checking your social media accounts or constantly posting on social media accounts, it is going to have an adverse effect on your relationship. All of that time spent on social media could be spent making memories with your partner. Another problem is sharing TMI about your relationship on social media. Your partner will likely not appreciate every detail of your relationship being shared with your followers.

2. Comparing Yourself/Your Relationship To Others

A really bad habit that many people have is comparing themselves to others and this transfers over to their relationships as well. They find themselves comparing their relationship to other people's relationships and the next thing they know, they are picking everything about their relationship apart. This is destructive behavior that will have no real positive outcome. Also, it's important to remember that the couples you are comparing yourself to do not always present the reality of their relationships. You may think that other couples are perfect, but you are only seeing a filtered representation of what they really are.

3. Criticizing Your Partner

Are you a very critical person? This is going to destroy your relationship – if you let it. It's one thing to criticize your partner if they do something deliberately wrong or hurtful. It's another to criticize everything they do, especially things they can't control. Too much of this will just be emotional abuse for your partner and it won't be long before your relationship is over. So try to catch yourself when you're being critical of trivial things and find a way to re-route your negative thoughts.

healthy marriage tips

4. Keeping Your Emotions Bottled Up

Being open and transparent in a relationship is crucial. Keeping your emotions bottled up isn't doing you or your partner any favors. So if you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself, work on opening up more. You should be able to talk to your partner about anything – especially the way you're feeling. Expressing your emotions will help you to have a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

5. Believing You're Always Right

Is there anything worse than someone who thinks they're always right when they're definitely not? If you're one of these people, consider it a death sentence for a relationship. Start being aware of when you refuse to accept blame or fault in situations. If you always believe that you are right, you need to really assess the circumstances and see if you're actually wrong. Being able to recognize and accept when you're wrong will help you to have a stable and honest relationship.

6. Your Need To Control Everything

Control freaks very rarely have healthy relationships. Your need to control everything will drive your partner insane and lead to the eventual demise of your relationship. Start learning to let go of certain things and hand over the reigns when possible. Not only will it help you have a more balanced relationship, but it will also take a lot of stress of yourself!

what causes a breakup

7. Being Too Forgiving

While it's important to not be too critical and not too much of a control freak, it's also important to not be a pushover and be too forgiving. If you're the type of person who lets someone walk all over them, it's not going to lead to a healthy relationship. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself and hold on to your convictions. If a partner treats you badly, let them know. If a partner consistently hurts you, leave them. Being too forgiving in a toxic relationship will only be a disservice to yourself.

8. Having Unrealistic Expectations

While you should never set the bar low when it comes to a relationship, it's not practical to have unrealistically high expectations. If you expect your partner to earn a fortune and buy you everything you want, you're expecting too much. If you expect your partner to take care of your every whim, you're expecting too much. You need to be realistic about what you expect in a partner and have standards that someone can actually meet. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment.

good marriage advice

Are You A Serial Crusher? Find Out What It Means If You Always Have A Crush

Pretty much everyone has had a crush on someone at some point in their life. Actually, most of us have had numerous crushes throughout our lives. While it's totally normal to have a number of crushes throughout your life, when do you become a “serial crusher?” Also, what even is a serial crusher?

First things first, a serial crusher is someone who always has a different crush. Serial crushers tend to develop a crush on pretty much anyone who pays them attention. Just met someone new? Crush. Got a new co-worker? Crush. Sat next to a kind stranger on the train? Crush. Serial crushers find themselves falling for any new person that enters their lives and it seems like they are romantically interested in just about everyone. This may seem totally innocent and harmless, but is it indicative of a deeper problem with the individual?

Is It Wrong To Always Have A Crush On Someone?

It usually feels pretty good to have a crush on someone, right? You get a rush when they walk by. You feel euphoric just thinking about them. There's a certain excitement that comes with the possibility of running into them or even envisioning a relationship with them. These feelings of euphoria that come with a crush could be why some people become serial crushers. They may be addicted to the endorphins that come with those amorous feelings, so they find themselves becoming infatuated with every new person that walks into their life.

constant crushes

Now, you're probably wondering how wanting to feel good all the time could be a problem. After all, who doesn't want to feel good? The problem comes from the addictive behavior. For people who are addicted to having a crush, where does it end? What happens when they are actually in a relationship? These people often find themselves dating one person and then falling for every other person they encounter at the same time. This is just infidelity waiting to happen.

This brings up another issue with serial crushers: Can they ever be truly happy? People who develop constant crushes seem to be chasing an unachievable happiness. This is why they never have a crush on just one person for a long time. They fall for someone new every other week. This shows an inability to reach satisfaction. It shows a constant compulsion for new forms of gratification that are often unattainable. They my find one person irresistible for a few weeks, and then that person no longer interests them. They become bored and before they know it, they're falling for someone new. This shows that individuals who always have a crush on someone will likely have great trouble forming long-lasting, healthy relationships throughout their life.

always have a crush

Is “Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater” Really True?

You've probably heard the phrase, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” at some point, right? Many people believe that someone who cheats in a relationship will continue to cheat, either in that relationship or any future ones. Is this really true, though? It turns out, this old saying may not be totally correct…

Sure, there are certain people who are serial cheaters. These people find themselves unable to commit to a relationship physically, mentally, or emotionally. These people are often narcissistic and do not care that they hurt others with their infidelity. This is why their relationships often end very quickly. They always wind up cheating on their partner and then on the next partner…and the next one. The good thing is, serial cheaters are not common.

Isolated incidences of cheating are far more common than serial cheating. Talk to literally anyone you know and odds are, they've either been cheated on or been the person who has cheated at some point in their life. Are all of these people serial cheaters? Definitely not. In most cases, infidelity occurs as a result of poor communication and a faulty relationship. When cheating occurs for these reasons, it's not because one of the partners is a serial cheater. It's because the emotional and physical elements of the relationship had fallen apart, and infidelity suddenly presented itself one way or another.

Now, this is by no means excusing infidelity. Cheating is never okay. Most people have no desire to stay with someone who has cheated, even if it's just once – and they are absolutely right to feel this way! You don't have to stay with anyone who could hurt you in such a deep way and betray your trust like that. However, there are still people who want to give their partner another chance and these are the people who wonder about the validity to “once a cheater, always a cheater.”

If you have experienced infidelity and are choosing to stay with your partner, you need to consider whether they are a serial cheater or not. Is this the first time they have done this? If so, it is likely they have no real desire to do it again. Remember, serial cheaters are rare. Also, what exactly did the cheating entail? Many people consider a quick kiss to be cheating. This kind of cheating is honestly very minor and once you express to your partner that you are not okay with it, it is unlikely they will ever cross that line again.

All in all, “once a cheater, always a cheater” is not true in most cases. It really only applies to a narcissistic person who is a serial cheater. Most normal people in relationships who do commit infidelity are very unlikely to commit it again, which means their relationship can be salvaged if their partner so desires.

once a cheater always a cheater

8 Major Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble

Are you worried that your relationship is headed for a dead end? If you feel like your relationship is on shaky ground, there are always some red flags that can really help you figure things out. Check out eight major signs that your relationship is in trouble:

1. You Never Fight Anymore

We know this may sound contradictory, but not fighting could actually be a bad sign for your relationship.Oftentimes, indifference is worse than anger. If you're not fighting over anything anymore, it means that you no longer care enough to fight.

2. You're Not Having Sex

Sex is a major part of a healthy relationship. Sure, most couples go through dry spells, but if you can't even remember the last time you had sex, consider this a major red flag.

3. You're Annoyed By Things You Once Loved About Your Partner

Did you used to love the way your partner would snort when they laughed, but now you find the mere thought of it nauseating? When your relationship is in trouble, you start to find little quirks that were once endearing to be terribly annoying. It's like you cannot stand even the smallest things about your partner.

4. You Don't Confide In One Another Anymore

Are you sharing secrets with friends and co-workers rather than your partner? Your partner should always be your ultimate confidant, so if you find yourself confiding in others, there's a problem in your relationship.

5. You Don't Think About the Future Anymore

Couples are always looking to the future, especially younger couples. If you're no longer envisioning the future, it could mean that you're no longer desiring a future with your partner.

6. You're Happier When They're Not Around

Are you happier when you're away from your partner? Do you dread coming home from work? This is a huge sign that your relationship is in trouble. If you'd rather be away from your partner than with them, consider things headed towards an end.

7. Your Relationship Feels Like An Obligation

Your relationship should be an enhancement to your life, not an obligation. If you find yourself resenting your partner and looking at them as an obligation rather than a choice, your relationship is definitely on shaky ground.

8. You Don't Include Them In Anything

Do you make dinner plans without inviting them? Are you spending the holidays with family and leaving them out? This is a huge sign that your relationship could soon be over. It's understandable to spend time away from your partner, but if you're not including them in anything you do anymore, it's a red flag.

relationship red flags

What Is the “Seven-Year Itch” and How Can You Overcome It?

Have you ever heard of the “seven-year itch?” The seven-year itch is a very common phrase in relation to marriages and long-term relationships that you've probably heard of at some point. In fact, there's even a classic Marilyn Monroe film named after it! So what exactly does the term mean?

The seven-year itch refers to the point in a marriage where both partners grow tired of one another and find themselves bored with the relationship. The name comes from the fact that this point typically occurs after seven years of being together. Obviously it doesn't have to be exactly seven years, but for many couples it falls around that time. At this point in the relationship, one or both partners fail to see the good in their relationship and are overcome with boredom.

You're probably wondering: What's wrong with this? We all experience a little boredom in relationships, right? Well, the seven-year itch is a little different than your typical love life boredom. After that long period of time spent together, the couple may find themselves totally sick of one another – to the point that they want to leave the relationship altogether. In fact, many cases of infidelity occur during this time because one or both partners feel desperate to experience the company of a new person. It's also no coincidence that many divorces occur exactly around this time.

Now, not every couple experiences the seven-year itch. If you don't consider yourselves lucky. It may be coming later on, or it may never come at all. With that said, if you're one of the many couples who is currently going through it, there is a way to fight it and not allow it to destroy your relationship…

As we explained earlier, the main component of the seven-year itch is boredom. The boredom leads to cheating. The boredom leads to divorce. So ultimately, you want to decrease the likelihood that you and your spouse will grow bored of one another. There are numerous things you can do to liven up your marriage again. This may include changing things up in the bedroom. See if your partner wants to try anything new to spark some more passion in your sex life. You can also try out a new hobby together. Whether it be a yoga class or going on bike rides, doing something together can help you re-build the bond you had in the early stages of your marriage. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that you are putting in a sincere and honest effort so that your partner can see how much you really want to keep your marriage afloat.

With all that in mind, not every couple can overcome the dreaded seven-year itch. If you can really commit yourself to re-igniting the spark you once had, your odds look very good!

the seven-year itch

Is This the Exact Moment That Harmless Flirting Turns Into Cheating?

One of the most debated topics when it comes to relationships is this: Is it ever okay to flirt with someone else when you're in a relationship. It turns out, flirting with someone else is relatively harmless when you're in a relationship. Many people just have a flirtatious nature and they don't even realize when they're flirting with another person. With that said, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when it comes to flirting. Read on to find out the exact moment that harmless flirting turns into cheating…

Do you find yourself flirting with a co-worker? Are you exchanging flirty text messages with no intentions of it ever being something more? These things aren't that serious in the larger scheme of things, but there is one tell-tale sign that shows you've taken things too far. That one sign is lying to your partner about what you're doing or keeping it a secret altogether.

If you have a flirtatious relationship with another person or you interact with other people in a flirtatious way, your partner needs to know about this. When you lie to them about it or keep it a secret, that is when it becomes cheating. See, if you feel the need to lie about your flirting, there's a reason for this. Maybe you're starting to develop actual feelings for the person you've been flirting with. Maybe you plan to take this flirtation to the next level. Either way, it shows that the flirtation has become more than just harmless flirting and is now an actual threat to your real relationship. Otherwise, you would have no issue telling your partner about it.

So if you find yourself erasing flirty text messages so that your partner doesn't see them or you find yourself lying about the last time you spoke to the person you've been flirting with, your flirtation has already become a form of infidelity.

flirting while in a relationship

The Surprising Thing That Nearly Everyone Finds Attractive In A Partner

When it comes to attraction, we all have our own preferences. Some of us like men with beards. Some of us like women with blonde hair. You may look for people with certain hobbies, like playing sports. Perhaps you're interested in what someone does for a living. Attraction is a funny thing, since there's no real explanation for why we each have our own preferences when it comes to what we find attractive. With that said, a recent study showed that there is one surprising thing that almost everyone finds attractive in a partner…

A recent study on attraction and what people around the world find attractive in potential partners revealed that there was one particular thing that almost everyone was attracted to. It turns out, over 75% of people who participated in the study said that they are turned on by a partner who can speak multiple languages! Being multi-lingual was shown to be a leading trait that people from all regions of the world found attractive. So why is it that speaking more than one language gets people hot and bothered more than anything else?

We could probably all agree that learning a second (or third…or fourth…) language is not easy. That's why people who speak multiple languages are universally seen as more intelligent. Who doesn't like intelligence in a partner? Intelligence is often regarded as one of the sexiest things in a person, and speaking multiple languages is like a neon sign that screams, “Hey! I'm really smart.” This most likely has a lot to do with why so many people find being multi-lingual as an attractive trait.

Another implication of being multi-lingual is that you are more cultured than the next person. Now who wouldn't want to date someone who was cultured? Being cultured, having spent time in various areas of the world, having knowledge of cultures other than your own… These are all things that most of us can agree are very attractive. So when we find out that someone can speak a variety of languages, we automatically feel more attracted to them.

So you heard it here, folks. If you want people to find you more attractive, it's time to pick up Rosetta Stone or book a trip to another country. You'll have people falling at your feet in no time!

speaking another language