Category Archives: Relationships

Want Some Incredible Insights About Relationships? Read On!

Relationships go down mainly when communication breaks down, blaming each other instead of taking accountability, trust is destroyed, and failure to show appreciation for each other. So, what can you do not to allow these problems creep into your existing relationships? Here are some surprising insights.

• We make our own choices. We make them every day. We have the choice of being in relationships with the people we meet. We have the option to make a person smile, laugh, change or motivate him or her, etc. We have the choice to treat people around us better. Think about how many times you failed to connect with someone when you met him or her, or making a good friend because you failed to smile, or to say ‘hello,’ or do something nice for them. Remember, proactive choices always bring in good results.

• Trust people. Things would have been much better if we started to treat people with good intentions and trusted them more. Trust is essential if you want to have a healthy and long-term relationship. If you trusted your partner more, suspicion disappears, and the possibilities of misinterpreting your partner’s opinions, behavior and action decrease. Trust people more, unless you have a good reason not to trust.

• Don’t have expectations of other people. You’re the controller of your life. Don’t put expectations on other people or your boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you want to see yourself set for disappointment and failure. We can encourage others, challenge them, and hold them responsible for their actions, but eventually, we will get disappointed or discouraged if we keep expecting things from them. Instead, we need to focus on your own qualities, time, energy, and our own impact on our relationships. Now, see the results unfold for itself.

• Be thankful. Be thankful and appreciate all the good things that have happened to in your relationship. When we realize how much we have to be thankful for, and actively and compassionate understand and recognize those things, we become happier.

• Living life to the fullest doesn’t exist. Most people always like to relish only the pain and the agony in their relationships excluding all the good things their relationships have given them. They like to talk about all the bad things that have happened to them or how their partners are making them feel miserable. Then there are the usual banters about finances, why the other partner is less responsible in the relationship, and so on. The truth is we all can have happy and fulfilling lives if we choose to, despite all the chaos or how pessimistic things are around us. Don’t be the victim. It's impossible to control what will happen to you, but you can control how you react to it.

• People are beautiful. It’s your responsibility to find the beauty in them. Many men and women looking for a relationship approach their dates with an expectation and to prove themselves how great they are. They only tell about themselves, and after the date, you start wondering that the other person didn’t ask anything about you, your life, or your interests. It’s upsetting and exhausting. Instead, you’ll feel better about yourself if you be curious and have the desire to learn more about other people.


Unrealistic Expectations Are Bad For Relationships

One big reason many relationships end is because one or both people had unrealistic or unattainable expectations about each other. So, what can when couples fail to meet their expectations in a relationship? They feel miserable and unhappy and think of breaking up. Unrealistic expectations are counterintuitive for a healthy relationship. Therefore, before you get involved in a relationship, it’s imperative to know what your expectations are.

Here are four unrealistic expectations a lot of men and women looking for a date have.

• A Relationship Will Make Me Happy
We aren’t saying relationships are overrated, but believing you’ll find lasting happiness and your life will be complete after being in one is ornamentation nonetheless. We fully understand and respect of your belief that your life will be complete and meaningful if you’re in a committed and loving relationship. But, in reality, things don’t always work that way. Being happy and finding a way to feel joy and happiness is your responsibility. A relationship is just one part of it.

• My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Will Spend Most of Their Time with Me
This may sound very appealing to new couples, but the concept of couples doing everything all the time together as well as spending time together will backfire at some point of the relationship. When you get in a relationship, and you boyfriend or girlfriend little dependent on you, it makes sense. It means that he/she would like to spend some quality time with you or wake up beside you every other day. But, keep in mind; no matter how close you’re with your partner, everyone wants to have some space. Your new partner would like to meet and socialize with their friends and family. He or she would also like to spend some time on their own without their significant other. It’s a great approach for fruitful and long-lasting relationships.

• My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Hate Flirting With Other People
Humans are attracted to beautiful things, and your boyfriend or girlfriend is no exception. You’ve to open to the truth that your partner will be looking or flirting with other attractive men and women around him or her when you’re not there. He or she might also be attracted to some of them. Do you think that your boyfriend or girlfriend will stop looking or flirting when you’re in a relationship? Sadly, the answer is a “NO.” So, what can you do? The easy way is by establishing some ground rules. Tell him or her not to flirt with anyone when you’re present. This always doesn’t imply that they stop flirting with other people if you’re there with your partner. The reality, most men, and women will flirt anyhow, regardless of your physical presence.

• There Will be A Lot Of Physical Intimacy In The Relationship

Sexual affection and physical affection are two types of physical affection most of us familiar about. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is very intimate with you, we can assume that both of you have a very active sexual relationship. But, very few people are actually into it. If sexual affection is your jam, remember to ensure that your partner is perfectly okay with it. Now, talking about physical affection, such as kisses, holding hands, hugs, etc., most folks aren’t so into it or let’s say not very passionate about it. So, if these are important to you, tell your potential partners about it from the beginning.


What Men and Women Want to Hear While In A Relationship

Communication is the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. One interesting thing when it comes to dating and relationships is figuring out what kind of words to say that will wow him, woo her, and win his or her heart. Here are a few lines to say to your man or woman in your life:

1. “Yes.”
We aren’t talking about that obvious “yes.” Just like women, men too crave for love and emotional intimacy. Men want to feel secure and stay committed in the relationship. And it all starts if he gets a positive and emotional response from the woman he loves. For example, men like to hear from their love interest such as, “Yes, I like to have dinner with you,” “Yes, I love your family,” and so forth.

2. “I'd Want to Be With You.”
We live in a fast-paced world. The never-ending demands of work, family, friends, and even boring errands and chores can consume a lot of our time. Suddenly, we can’t make a chance to spend some quality time together. It stays at the bottom of our to-do list. But, even all these inescapable tasks comes in the way, it feels very soothing when your boyfriend or girlfriend say you that he or she likes to be with you, rather be someplace or do something that is keeping them apart.

3. “Are You Free Saturday/Sunday Night?”
Date nights are crucial if you want to keep the romance in your relationship alive and fresh. A guy likes to be pursued. Equally, he wishes to pursue too. So, to all ladies out there, don’t get scared if you ask your man to go on a date with you once in awhile.

4. “That Looks Great On You.”
Complimenting each other is crucial in a relationship. Sometimes, due to our busy schedules, we lose track of our romance, and many of us forget to appreciate our loved ones when they look good and beautiful. We all know that women love positive feedback about their appearances, but that’s equally true for guys as well. Your man tries his best to look dapper and works hard for it. So, tell him about it will make his whole day blissful.

5. “Well, You Are Right.”
At times, it’s best to take the high road, especially when it comes to arguments. The ability to admit when you’re wrong, take full responsibility for your actions, and give all the credit to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and telling them they were right all along is HUGE! It’s not easy to set aside your ego, and it’s imperative that you do. Relationships are all compromises and complementing each other. It’s never about winning alone.

6. “I Do Like Your Friends/Kids/Family Members”
This is a huge step in any relationship, and if this comes from a woman, it means that she’s serious about you. You see most women are communal and relationships mean a lot to them. So, when you say something nice about the people she cares and loves, it means a lot to her. Tell her you to think her father is wise and cool, or one of her children is highly talented, you know how it goes. By complimenting the people closest and dearest to your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re confirming them as well.

When you’re looking for someone or thinking of getting back with your ex, remembering these cute and emotional lines will make you fall in love again easily!


How You Can Address Problems in Your Relationship

Relationships aren’t without problems. All relationships have issues, big and small, and come in all shapes and sizes. You are not alone; there are probably no couples that have never gone through problems and complications in their relationships. If you think that you had enough of these problems, fights, and arguments, and tired of it, and want to quit your relationship anytime, think twice.

We will show you how to deal with your relationship problems, solve them and how to move forward with your partner, and be happy again. It’s important for couples to be able to recognize the problems they are about to face. Not only because it makes you has familiar with these issues, but it also gives you some time to figure out the right solutions. Some most common relationship problems many of us face are:

• Infidelity
• Sexual problems like sexual disability, low libido, etc
• Differences in values, opinions, traditions and perspectives
• Lack of communication
• Stress, depression or mental health problems
• Financial problems
• Inability to have children
• Problems with kids
• Suspicion and addiction
• Problems with his or her family
• Domestic violence
• Distribution of responsibility and duties
• Lack of support and care

We won’t be surprised if we find some these issues in common in your relationship, in fact, most couples are aware of these problems, and some of them are already dealing with them. No matter how difficult the time appears to you, there are always some good solutions which are much simpler than you think. However, it’s crucial that you recognize and prioritize your problem and deal with each of them. At the same time, you should also accept that the most important thing that needs to be controlled is your feelings and emotions. Compromise is another essential issue in solving relationship problems.

When you’re discussing challenges in your relationship issues like sex, money, children, responsibilities come up, which cause conflict in your relationship. In such situations, the best choice is to discuss an issue, instead of dealing with it as a problem and deciding whom to blame. Rather than discussing where we are at this point in the relationship, it would be more productive if we consider where we want to be. If you start the conversation with goals, you will find your partner thinking about solutions, possibilities, and opportunities.

You are sure will face a hard time in your relationship if you can’t look beyond the flaws of your boyfriend or girlfriend. People often get disappointed once they start to fixate on pet peeves, including the faults of their partners, their annoying habits, and so on. Talking about things that you dislike about one another won’t bring any positive transformations in your relationship. When you have a conversation about what you don’t like about your significant other, you leave little scope for positive feelings and emotions to sprout. Instead, try to recall everything you loved about each other which brought you both together in the first place.

Remember all the happy moments that excited and delighted both of you. Another common scenario among couples is to noticing problems and ignoring progress. Think about things what your partner did and what pleased you in the past few days; it may be a small gesture, a helpful attitude, even just a lovely smile. This will make you conscious about everyday gestures and behaviors that make you happy and also makes you feel noticed and appreciated at the same time.

Remember, no relationship is perfect. The person you love most is also likely to hurt you most. If you’re in a relationship, discuss your strengths and weaknesses or about things that you are good at or not, with your partner. If you can match your role with your strengths, you will find your relationship most effective and successful.


Follow These Tips To Overcome Insecurity In Your Relationship

When you fall in love with someone, and they share that feeling with you, then it’s an incredible feeling. Insecurity is one problem that faces many couples within their relationship. We feel insecure in relationships when our decisions get conflicted with what our instincts are telling us to do. Here are few tips that will help most couples deal in overcoming insecurities in their relationships.

Feeling of Togetherness
The point of a relationship is, not being alone. It is essential to think of each other as two peas in the same pod when you’re in a relationship. So you have to be there for one another as much as you can. That is how you build trust. This feeling of unity will result in overcoming your vulnerabilities.

Get Rid of Your Selfishness
Too much ego mainly affects a healthy relationship. Ego paves the way to selfish behaviors. Don’t let ego get in the way. You cannot give yourself more importance while neglecting your boyfriend or girlfriend. Besides, you cannot ignore to take care of yourself, while taking care of your partner.

Don’t Overly Think About The Past
All people have their past, and not all of it might be something to write home about. Some past relationships are better if they stayed in the past. Don’t bring these up. Insecurities sometimes stem from repeating the past relationships too much. If it has gone, then it’s better not to bring that up. Be happy with the person you are with now. Brooding about the past will only complicate things.

Always Try To Find A Middle Ground
Arguments are bound to happen in a relationship. While having an argument, always try to find the middle ground. Instead, of finding out who is right or wrong, try to find a ground where both of you can agree on a matter. Even if it feels to admit your fault, then that is what you should do.

Don’t Be Paranoiac
Worrying about something too much can lead to unwanted stress and sadness. Just because you see your boyfriend or girlfriend with someone doesn't mean he/she is cheating on you. Allow your partner to socialize with other people without being paranoiac. Both of you both have the right to communicate with other people.

Don’t Keep Them in the Dark
You should share most of your secrets and things happening around you to your partner. Trust and efficient communication is the key to a healthy and fruitful relationship. You will have to share, even the smallest details with your girlfriend or boyfriend if you want to feel safe and secure in your relationship.

Look Out for One Another
You’re practically like family when you’re in a relationship. So, it’s imperative to take care and fulfill each other emotional and physical wants and needs. In doing so, your girlfriend or boyfriend will feel more secure being with you.

Physical and Emotional Intimacy
Whether it’s physical or emotional, intimacy in any form has a significant effect on each other and also helps us for overcoming much of the insecurities in our relationships. If you are intimate with your partner, you can connect with him or her on an emotional level that will eliminate negative emotions and feelings in the relationship.

After all, relationships are all about overcoming loneliness and insecurities in our daily lives. If you’re dating someone or looking for a girlfriend, following these steps, you can have a great love life feeling more secure, confident and happy!


What Causes Pre-Wedding Fights?

Being engaged is always an excellent experience. But as no relationships are immune to fights, there is a chance that you and your partner may get into a pre-wedding fight. But, don’t get startled as it is common at this phase of the relationship. Here are the eight main reasons of pre-wedding fights:

1. Wedding Budget
It's not quite surprising that money is number one problem when it comes to pre-wedding fights. The difference of opinion regarding how to spend your wedding budget often sparks to pre-wedding fight. The way your fiancé spends your dollars might not make sense to you. For example, you may want to keep aside a bulk amount from your budget for a fantastic honeymoon, while you are planning a grand reception and want to put a significant amount for the big day.

2. Your Partner Isn’t As Enthusiastic
Spending a lot of your time in planning the big day, but your partner seems to be indifferent? He might not show any interest in wedding related discussion. It might appear to you that he does care enough or care at all about the biggest event of your life, which is quite disappointing for you. Thus the lack of enthusiasm often leads to a pre-wedding fight between couples.

3. You’re Making All The Plans
It often happens that you are doing to all the pre-wedding arrangement and your partner is busy with her wedding dress. The lack of participation in marriage arrangements can become an issue when it creates some misunderstanding between the couples.

4. The Quest List
The guest list of your wedding can also be a problem. You may want to be surrounded by all of your family and friends on this big day. But your fiancé is thinking about the effects of your guest list on his budget and venue choice. It may be that he just don’t like the program to be as crowdie as a public event and wants only close friends and family on the day.

5. What About My Family And Friends?
The most couples drag themselves in a fight before the wedding on issues regarding family. One may think that his fiancé is giving more priority to his family’s decision over her choice. Or your partner may not feel comfortable with how you deal with his family before the wedding and feel you don’t care about his family tradition.

6. We Are Spending Less Time Together
If you have not spent much time together since you are engaged, it can cause a pre-wedding fight too. Your partner might think that you do not enjoy spending times together. If you have not had any outing or dine out recently or forget to present her a beautiful gift on her birthday, it may create distance between you. Spending more time together is the best approach here in this situation.

7. I Love My Traditions
Differences often emerge between couples regarding traditions, values, customs or religion. Especially if you don’t belong to the same ethnic or social background that you do these issues may become crucial. The may be cases when you feel that your partner is not making an effort to understand your tradition.

8. Your Ex or Old Friend
An old friend or your ex can be problematic in a new relationship. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is maintaining a good relationship with the ex, you guys are most likely to encounter a pre-wedding fight.

When you and your partner have decided to get married after being in a relationship for a while, pre-wedding fights are unexpected, but they can be avoided. It is entirely understandable that you will not agree with everything, but you should agree to disagree. Conflicts in relationships are inevitable, but fighting? That is a choice!


How To Introduce Your Crazy Family To Your Date?

People come from families that are extremely dysfunctional, some extremely functional and but most have families that fall in the middle. The point is there’s a big difference between families that are funny-crazy and the pathologically-crazy. We will be talking about families that are comedic or funny-crazy.

At this very moment, lots of men and women are looking for love, and most of them are fearful of being judged by their respective date’s pathological families. While dating, men and women who have pathological families always brace themselves as they anticipate they'll be asked awkward and uncomfortable questions of their families by their dates and their families. Most relationship therapists suggest men and women to date people who have healthy relationships with their families. But, what will you do if you don’t have a good relationship with your family? Is it that your family is dysfunctional or crazy?

If you happen to come from a family with a lot of issues whether they’re legal, professional or personal, there are some ground rules you need to abide.

Rule #1:

You don’t have to answer to every question your date’s family asks you. Only respond to those you like to. If you get asked something that makes you uncomfortable, instead of being defensive or rude, try to diffuse the situation by a joke. You can say something like, “Well I will answer that question after the fifth or sixth date.”

Rule #2:

If using humor to respond a question isn't your style, then keep your responses simple, precise, and confident. For instance, if your father is a drug addict and at the second date, you were asked what your parents do for a living. Instead, of saying that your dad is unemployed because of his drug abuse, tell them what your father did professionally before he turned to drugs. If your dad was a carpenter, say that your dad was a carpenter. That’s enough, your date and their families don’t need to more details about your family at the moment. What if your partner asks what kind of relationship you have with your father? If your dad has been a drug addict and incarcerated for it, then it’s very likely you don’t have a good relationship. Tell your date that in life there will be ups and downs, and this one is a down. If your date does like you, he or she won’t worry too much about the relationship you’ve with your family.

Rule #3:

If you’re ready, to tell the truth, ask yourself if you’re anxious about your date’s reaction when he or she hears the details. If you’re nervous, then be prepared for it. Disclosing private details at the right time can actually increase the intimacy between the two of you. However, keep in mind don’t go overboard with it. If you think that you’re being judged by your date after he or she learns the details, try to convince them that even though your family is dysfunctional, you are a quality person. Try to tell it with high self-esteem and confidence.

Remember; always honor your family’s privacy. You don’t have to share every big or small detail about your family, their lives, their behaviors or problems to your date at the beginning of a relationship. After all, you don’t want anyone to feel sorry, judge or say something upsetting to you.


Is Voice Important In Choosing A Girlfriend Or Boyfriend?

When it comes to love and relationship, the voice qualities of men and women appears to convey biological information about each other’s perceived attraction level, health, and fertility to a potential partner.

Voices play a significant role in measuring the perceived attractiveness of a man or a woman. The more attractive a voice is to hear, the more likely the person’s body is said to be symmetrical and perceived to be more physically attractive. Symmetry is vital as it transmits basic physical survival instincts and fertility information to a potential match. It’s critical to remember that symmetry and body mass index (BMI) isn’t similar. There are three variations of symmetry that matter involving voice perceived attractiveness of an individual to the opposite sex. They are:

For Men – Shoulder-To-Hip Ratio (SHP)
Men are assumed to be more attractive and sexually promiscuous when they’ve wider shoulders coupled with narrower hips. Men, whose bodies have this symmetry, have two to three times more sexual partners in their lifetime compared to men who don’t have this symmetry in their bodies.

For Women – Waist-To-Hip Ratio (WHP)
Women are perceived to be more attractive when they have a narrower waistline and broader shoulders and hips than women whose shoulders, waistline and hips are relatively even in size. In short, women with “hourglass” figures are very attractive and sexy. Another notable thing to note here is if a woman’s voice is attractive, it indicates she can be promiscuous.

For Men And Women – Left-To-Right Side Ratio (LRR)
For most people, there are differences in sizes between the left and right halves of their bodies. However, the lesser the disparity between the left and right halves of their bodies, including facial features, the more attractive the man or the woman is as to those who have more differences.

Now, let’s talk voices. It’s been found that men are attracted to women who have high-pitched voices. In fact, most men can assess the symmetry, and hence attractiveness, of a female’s face and other physical features simply by listening to her voice. The female hormone, Estrogen, which is responsible for female looking faces, is also linked to causing both high pitched voices and enhancing the attractiveness of a woman’s face.

On the other hand, women can predict a guy’s heaviness and BMI by listening to his voice. Keep his weight aside, the lower the pitch of a man is, the more attractive he is perceived, and the more balanced his body will be. Guys, who are more symmetrical than others are deemed attractive because they also have high self-esteem. As these men had high self-esteem throughout their lives, they feel more confident and secure about themselves. These two qualities are very attractive to women.

The bottom line is when looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend, attraction and chemistry play vital roles. The attraction and chemistry we feel when we like someone arises from a combination of senses, including the sound of a person’s voice. So, if you shut your eyes, and attentively listen to the voice of someone you’re attracted, and love what you hear, then it’s highly likely that you will like what you see when you open your eyes.


How Can You Sense When Your Girlfriend Wants A Kiss

The first kiss can force anyone into a tailspin of uncertainty, fear of rejection and over-thinking. But, things levels out when you understand the secrets of kisses and your next smooch will be a lot easier to handle than the first one. Timing is the key to enjoy and cherish a great kiss. So, when is the perfect time for a first kiss? Follow these proven tips:

Tip #1
You can anticipate your girlfriend’s readiness to move forward by noticing how she responds to your casual touches, such as touching her hand in the popcorn bag, sweeping her shoulders when she wears her coat, etc. If she pulls away or feels uneasy, then slow down a little, and take some time. If she smiles, giggles or blushes, then it’s time you up your game. Put your hand over her hand while you have dinner, or hold her hand while walking her to her car, or the park. This is a relaxed approach toward getting smooched.

Tip #2
A simple way to find out how your girlfriend feels about you is to evaluate her response when you hug her. When saying hello or goodbye, keep your embrace brief, and assess her nonverbal feedback. If she presses her body against yours and keeps on hugging, take the opportunity to kiss her for the first time. If she looks a turned off, then just give that awful double pat on her back, and set her free. Maybe you should consider putting a little more effort to loosen her up and head towards romance.

Tip #3
Women expect their boyfriends to ask them before they kiss them. If you aren’t sure, and to be on the safe side, we suggest you ask her before kissing them. It might make a gentleman or a wimp; we can’t be sure about it. Remember, we’re talking about a simple display of affection here. You want to kiss her, and the exciting and sexist to way to land a kiss on her lips is to be spontaneous. If you want her to get excited, then kiss her instantly without asking her. Besides, if she isn’t into kisses or simply not in the mood, she will allow you to kiss her on the cheek. Keep her wide welcoming, and don’t act lecherous and you will see she appreciates your move.

Tip #4
The first kiss is very special for women. They love it even more when it’s positive, memorable and if it happened spontaneously. So, find a time to kiss your lady when she expects it the least. Plant your first kiss when your date might not be expecting it and guarding against it – a lip lock. Don’t try to kiss her at the end of the date as those moments are full of pressure and tension. Instead, pay close attention to her cues and try kissing her earlier in the date or don’t kiss her at all.

A kiss is an intimate and passionate part of a romantic relationship. The key is to figure out the best time to kiss her is to pay attentions to nonverbal cues and body language. If you’re dating someone new, there isn’t any written rule that you’ve to end your date with a kiss. Sometimes it’s better to wait and work up for that passionate smooch.


How Far Should You Go For A Long Distance Relationship?

Long distance relationships are getting pretty familiar because of online dating. One big dilemma facing couples in long distance relationships is to decide whether he or she should relocate to be the other person they’re dating. Some never met their online matches in person, and only know about them over the phone and the internet. We all agree to know a person fully; there is no alternative to face-to-face interaction and that over an extended period. You two may be attracted to each other, and think both of you are compatible, but is that enough for you to relocate to a new place, city or town?

This is indeed an important question. We always think that couples who are in long distance relationships should take some determined and comprehensive steps before deciding on making any kind commitment. These are:

First, try to have as many as face-to-face interactions with your matches before either of you decide to relocate. The phone and the internet may be helpful to be in touch, but ultimately it’s imperative that both of you spend as much time as you can together in the same place. It’s the only proven and efficient way to know whether two of you are compatible or not.

Second, visit each other in as many different circumstances as possible. If you limit yourself of visiting your partner only on weekends or vacations, it won’t give you the real experience of how it will be if you both are living together like any other couple. Besides, spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend only on weekends might convince that he or she is kind, attentive, loving, and compatible, which might not always be true.

Third, you must find a way to collect as much information about this person before you go ahead with your plan to relocate with him or her. It might be unusual and strange for you to travel across the land, just to witness your boyfriend or girlfriend about what they do in their everyday life. But, trust us, that this is crucial if you want your relationship to be healthy and a long-lasting one.

Finally, you must comprehend the risks associated with being in long distance relationships. At some point, before you get married, one of you will have to pack and settle somewhere across the country. This should be done with the intention to marry, and surely before getting engaged. If you both decided to marry, and relocating with your partner is just an initial step towards that direction, the pressure of marriage might create some tension, in which one or both of you will think that this isn’t a right decision. Therefore, you both need to spend more time together in your long distance relationship and assess how this move might take place if the relationship continues.

The bottom line is long distance relationships just like any other kind of relationships comes with its own set of problems and relocating with your partner is one of them. So, if you’re looking for someone or interested in a long-distance relationship when it comes to marriage, it is best you wait as long as you can. Also gather as much information about your partner in many different circumstances as you can, before you get engaged or married.