How To Make Your Ex Want You Back – 8 Clever Psychological Tricks

get back your ex
Learning how to make your ex want you back is not easy, especially if you have seen that he or she has already moved on and they are already dating someone else.

Sometimes, you have to love yourself more, in order for someone to love you back. You have to ignite something inside of you; you have to channel your inner strength so that you can become a better person.

Often-times, when we are heartbroken and desperate, we forget to love ourselves. Your world should not revolve around one person. Reach out for your friends, old and new, because they will be a great help to you.

Be brave enough to do things you've never done before. That way you'll really learn how to make your ex want you back. Rediscover a different side of you, and when you realize that you are capable of doing such things, you’ll feel confident in following these psychological tricks to get your ex back:

1. Use Reverse Psychology

use reverse psychology


Your ex has already moved on, does not reply to your texts and does not answer your calls.

What you should do:

He/she is probably used to you chasing after them, so try doing the exact opposite of what you used to do.

When you two pass by each other, don’t even try to make eye contact. If they say “hey” to get your attention, say “hey” back nonchalantly. Do the same with their friends. Act like you don’t know any of them, even if you are in the same room with any of them.

They’ll begin wondering why all of a sudden you are no longer so friendly to them, and even more when they stop receiving text messages from you. They will wonder, but they will not ask you directly. They’ll try to observe you for a few days, even from a distance. They might even ask some of your friends if you’re already dating someone else.

Don’t overdo it, though. Don’t be a snob. If they greet you, then greet them back, just don’t be the first one to do it. Soon you will see that the tables have turned, and they don’t even realize it.

2. Make Yourself Appear Busy

Always be preoccupied with something. If you two work at the same building, make sure you’re always doing something so you have an excuse for not noticing them.

If, by chance, the two of you get into the same elevator, don’t be the first one to strike up a conversation. Pretend like you’re texting someone or rummaging for something inside your bag. Make them feel awkward by staying silent. If you go to the same school, make sure you always have a friend by your side so that whenever they are around you can appear busy having a conversation with your friend to avoid looking at him or her.

Another thing, always bring a book with you. Books are great company too! If none of your friends are available to accompany you, and you happen to be in the same area with them, you have the excuse of not looking up. That way, you can just pretend that you are so engrossed with what you are reading whether you are actually reading or not.

3. Don't Have Yourself Look Jealous

don't be jealous


You see them side by side with an attractive girl/boy. This person looks like they can audition to be in the America’s Next Top Model. You see them coming towards you.

What you should do:

Never look jealous. If they are headed your way, act naturally.

Just imagine that you are passing by a couple who are complete strangers to you. Do not avoid them.

If you avoid them, you are sending your ex the message that you still love them and that you are heartbroken over seeing them with someone else. It will only boost their ego and they will feel good about themselves. Instead of making them feel that way, ignore them and make them wonder why. Flip your hair and act like you don’t care.

Or … You Can Use a More Advanced Technique

Learn About Justin Sinclair’s How To Get Ex Back System

4. Have a Make-Over, Change your Look

shop for new clothes
You've probably heard this a hundred times. Have a makeover and show off a new you. But what is the real purpose of doing it?

  • Having a make-over makes you feel good about yourself. It boosts the level of your self– confidence. You can walk with your head high; because you know that you look good.
  • When you look good, it mirrors what you feel inside. It will send your ex the message that you love yourself and that your world does not revolve around him or her.
  • If you've done a really good make-over, they will realize that several suitors might be checking you out. It will somehow send your ex into a panic mode because they might have given up someone who is beautiful inside and out. Your ex might even be the one to approach you this time around.

5. Be Carefree and Fun

learn to have fun
Make the most out of your time with your friends.
Go out more often, laugh a lot, and live life to the fullest. If you’ve been so stressed out in the past when you were still together, and if you were not really an outgoing type of person before, this new you will surprise them.

People love it when their partners are carefree and fun. Generally, people dislike complicated relationships. When your ex sees you as this person who is carefree, happy and fun to be with, they will ask themselves why they broke up with you in the first place.

6. Learn How to Say “No”

just say no
If you make it obvious that you still love your ex, then they might use that to their advantage by asking you to do favors for them all the time, and you nodding in return without the will to say “no”.

Stop being this person who is always available to do stuff for them 24/7. Show yourself some respect and deny doing favors for your ex from now on. Show them that you have a life of your own, that you are too busy to do things for them.

Go out during weekends and have plans after work or after school, that way, you can avoid doing things for your ex. Even if they are asking for just a simple thing that you can do within fifteen minutes, just say no.

7. Improve Yourself, Hit the Gym

workout at the gym

When you work out, you no longer look hurt and vulnerable. You become this confident, strong person, physically and emotionally. Don’t do this for your ex, but for yourself.

Working out boosts your self confidence because you know that you are on your way to shaping up your body. It literally makes you stronger, like you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

When your ex sees a stronger side of you, they will definitely notice you. For some people, working out is just as graceful as dancing. Your ex might even ask you to work out with them the next time.

8. Never Compliment Them

don't compliment them


You are both dressed up to go to a party. Your ex compliments you by saying “You look nice”. You’re compelled to compliment them back.

What you should say:

Say something nice, but don’t go all the way. For example “You look nice too, but your tie doesn’t really match your shirt”.

It will completely throw them off balance, because they are expecting you to say something completely good, without if’s and but’s.

You can pretend to be a fashion critique by saying “Your outfit looks nice, except that when you wear your hair that way, it doesn’t really add up.” and add in “But hey, that’s just me, I mean I’m not an expert or anything.”

Your ex may even appear startled, but let them save his face. Even if you think that what you did was mean, don’t feel guilty.

… Or Do You Want Something A Little More Advanced?

The tips above should get you started, but if you want something which is more powerful then you should consider the HowToGetExBack system. Let Justin Sinclair, personal relationship expert, show you exactly what messages you need to send your Ex, and how to send them. You'll be blown away when your Ex starts talking to you again and eventually asks to see you. He put together a totally free video explaining his techniques that you can start using right away on your Ex. If you would like to get your Ex back into your arms, watch this free video by a world famous relationship expert.

Free Video to Get Your ExB Back


Always remember that the key to getting someone back is not by becoming a different person.

It is important to love yourself first before anyone else. It is good to improve yourself by doing a makeover and going to the gym, but never change who you really are. Other people should see a “real” person in you, not a “fake and pretentious” one.

Give importance to how other people feel, so never do anything beneficial to you yet hurtful to others. If you think that doing anything on this list can potentially hurt someone, don’t do it. Be beautiful inside and out. These are the keys to learning how to make your ex want you back.

Always have a positive outlook in life, so that whether you get what you want or not, you can always see the good side of everything. Heartbreaks are meant to strengthen every person; the same way a pencil goes through a sharpener to become sharper.

If you've done everything on this list and still fail to bring the love of your life back, don’t despair.

The best one is probably yet to come; you just have to be patient.


watch how to get ex back

27 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Want You Back – 8 Clever Psychological Tricks”

  1. What if you’ve already tried this and it doesn’t work? Because me and my BFF have stopped talking for some reason and however much I try, they won’t reply to my texts: they also have stopped talking to me properly and having long conversations. I tried this reverse psychology thing because I want her to want to talk to me, but she took it the wrong way and now is ignoring me a lot.

  2. Hi. My name is Lauren Johnson and my husband of a year walked out on me about two and a half months ago and now we are going through a horrible painful divorce. I am not sure WHY he walked out. I am just SO scared that he and I will never be together again. And what’s worse I am afraid that he will find someone else and I just CAN’T handle that. He said at first we’d TALK after the divorce but then he said this will take time. Now it’s never know what the future holds I can’t promise you anything. Sorry. There is a lot I have to work through and take care of before I can begin to think of us getting back together. WHAT does he mean when he says these things and HOW do I get him back for good?

    1. Hi Lauren,

      I am sorry to hear you are going through such a painful time.

      It sounds like you need to take a step back and look at your own dependency towards him as that might be the very thing that is driving him away. We all know the feeling of wanting what you can’t and dismissing what we can easily have. By demonstrating your independence without him, he might start to see the value in your companionship, rather than seeing you as a burden.

      I hope this helps a little at least.

  3. Hi , am rachel marie
    Last saturday my boyfriend of 9 months finished me by text this is the first break up we have ever had and he says that he doesnt love me and doesnt want me back he says that the reason why he finished me was because he has a new job and he said his feelings changed it was a long distance relationship but we made it work for 9 months we even went on holiday 3 weeks ago is there any way i can win him back ???

    1. Hi Rachel,

      I understand losing your ex can be very difficult. Long distance relationships are difficult and more than 70% fail. However, if you really think he is the one, there are things you can do to keep you on his radar. First and foremost is to not beg or plead with him. Instead, demonstrate that you do not need him and that you are in fact enjoying life without him. This will make him think that he’s losing something of value.

      Secondly, do not initiate contact with him first. If you do, it will be very obvious what you are trying to do. It will be better for both of you to spend some time not speaking to each other. As they always say, the heart grows fonder with absence. If he does not contact you after 30 days, send him a friendly message asking him what he’s doing and share the exciting things you have been doing in your life. Never bring up your relationship first.

      I hope this helps!

      – John

  4. Hi I’m Anna
    So I’ve been dating this guy for 8 months but now we are broken up. After we broke up he got back with his ex of 4 years and which is his first love but then they broke up also. He then told his sister to tell me he still loves me and misses me and think about me still. So we starting texting again everything was fine until I found out he’s also texting his ex. I don’t know what to do I still love him and want him back to myself I don’t want him to be with her she’s a cheater.

    1. Hi Anna,

      You first need to wait 30 days or longer before contacting him again. It’s important that you are both not so emotionally involved when communicating. Often times, we lose ourselves in the history of our relationships that we cannot see what is the best path forward.

      Wait 30 days. Then if you are both still interested in each other, contact him again for a date.

      – John

    2. Important: the truth is there is no chance of you ever being together and it working. If a guy wants you he will be with you. He is deciding which girl he likes more. Also when a guy is texting two girls or more “and not just as friends” its because any guy feels really good when more than one girl wants him. The best thing you can do is stop texting him and move on. If you were meant to be you would have never broken up. If you continue to text him then you will only get hurt even more……im sorry!

      1. You are a moron. “If you were meant to be you would have never broken up.” Yeah go ask about 100 married couples who are deeply in love after 50 years. They will say they broke up in the beginning or spent some time apart. It happens don’t be such an idiot and make people think there is no hope. Move on but remember there is always hope.

  5. hey, so my ex gf and mother of my kids left me not long ago, and i miss her so much. I still suffer from depression and in a moment of weakness begged her to give me another chance if i got help, she said maybe in the future if we’re truly meant to be. I think I’ve fucked that up though, we have a tendency to fight from not being able to communicate, is there any way to get her back, or should i just accept that I’ve messed up beyond help… 🙁

    1. Hi Samuel,

      Perhaps she felt that it was too difficult to be around depression. If you can bounce back from your difficulties, you would be a lot more attractive in her eyes. In short, once you feel that you are a happy person again, then contact her. It’s an unfortunate paradox, I am afraid.

      – John

  6. Hello, so on June my now x and I had a fight, we worked things out but then we had another fight on July (it was a big fight) The 1st week of August he started acting different and that’s when he said we needed a break, he went out of town to spend some time appart. just last week he told me he is talking to someone new, I begged him to give me another chance but he didn’t cuz he’s “dating” someone new and he refused to give me a 2nd chance. We were together for 2+ years, please I need some advice, I have been depressed over this, do any of you think there’s still a chance of him coming back?….please help

  7. Hi
    My fiancée packed a bag and walked out 17 days ago after being together for nearly 3 yrs. At first he said he loved me but could do it any more. There is no going back for us. I constantly txt him all the time as I didn’t understand the reason why he went. I lost my 17 yr old nephew to suicide 8 months ago which has ripped my family to bits. He has told a friend that I push him away to often and he can’t cope with it. He wouldn’t talk to me txt me just told me not to contact him again we are over. He was so cold to me I lost it and trashed his clothes which after saying we could talk he now again wants nothing to do with me!! I don’t need him as I can financially look after myself but I want him in my life so much. I love him to bits and until the last 8 months we were fine. I simply don’t understand how he can be so cold after everything we have been through. The last yr we have moved and rebuilt a house. Both graduated and got stressful jobs which shifts mean we can go for weeks without a day off together, then my nephew. We have lost ourselves and in turn lost each other. We met last week so he could get some clothes and we stood for 20 mins hugged held hands and kissed. I could see in his eyes there was still something there between us. But it’s like his guard s up and no matter what he will not let it down. I’ve said we won’t go bk this could be like the start of a new relationship but he will not acknowledge my texts!! I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Gp has put me on Valium and a beta blocker and in my line of work I’m off as I’m not fit to work!! Thanks xx

  8. Hey I am completely depressed . I and my bf had a relationship of 5 years but now I came to know that he was dating another girl since past year . I asked him to breakup with me n he said I CNT bcz I still love you, I said itzz not possible for me to forget DAT nuisance 🙁 but he is again n again convincing me to patch up . ryt now m completely in trouble plzzz help me out dat should I gave him a chance or let him go anyhow .

  9. hi am still finding it difficult to get over my ex.

    we dated 4 years had a lot of fights and cheating problems.its almost 2 years in the breakup but we stil contact each other.

    i love him he loves me too but he says he cant afford to hurt me again not now mybe later we can try to hit it up again.

    But i cant take it anymore i want him back please help me out

  10. Okay, so my boyfriend left me in what i thought was a mutual break up maybe in early april. We have been fighting a lot and just over protective and it wasn’t healthy. The real reason (I believe) was that I wasn’t in school with him anymore, and we became distant with all the time we had to spend doing other things. he didnt have time for me at all, the only time i would see him was when i was picking him up to take him to a required event or when i was bringing him food. He told me he wanted to be in the musical, so being a supportive girlfriend i pushed him to do it. That made our relationship harder because we had NO time together. So, during play practice, he met a girl a cute girl that i guess he ‘Fell” for. The thing is, this kid had ALWAYS had girlfriends. there is no telling when he falls for someone. he broke up with me and we kept our distance. i let myself go and begged on my knees for him to come back, called and called plenty of times (what he used to do to me when i would want to break up) and he was more sure of the break up than ever by the way i responded. I’m young but I really love him. He was there with me through the unexpected death of my mother and knows my family situation very well. he opened up full heartedly to me aswell. Since we had such an emotional bond, i was distraught he found a new girlfriend. Whats even weirder for me is she has the same name! She was my friend too.

  11. Dear Sabrian,

    Sounds like you were just his bit on the side who used to bring him food, not his gf. In other words he was just using you.
    That’s not your fault. He sounds like a douche. Of course you teach someone how the are to treat you by what you are willing to accept.

    Try going out w/ someone else.


  12. Okay so I want to try this but there are a few complications.

    I’m currently in college and he’s back in my hometown (and 15 years older than I am).

    Complication number one: The relationship is super weird/ confusing. He’s expressly said he doesn’t want a purely sexual relationship (“I don’t want to feel like either of us is just using the other”), but he also doesn’t want to put any emotions or effort into it. So what is there exactly in the relationship? I think what it comes down to is that I’m young and cute and smart…and I want him. And that makes him feel good about himself, so he’s basically using me to feel better about himself.

    Complication number two: I tried twice already to do this and failed miserably… I blame it on the fact that I wasn’t angry, I was hurt. This time I’m angry dammit. By failed, I mean I contacted him within a couple days (at the most). Most recently, this morning, I texted him saying basically the same thing I said in complication number one, except I added “For someone whose had their heart broken and been played with, you’d think you’d be above that”. #shotsfired But I feel like because I’ve already failed twice, he’s not going to take this seriously…

    Complication number three: I met him at work. I will be back at work for three days in two weeks and we work the same shifts (there’s no way for me to change that). Also, everyone there knows we had something…doesn’t know its not really working. I have no idea how to act. Also, a few weeks after that I’ll be back for a month and a half and working with him at least a few times a week…

    Ultimately I want him to seriously regret not being with me when he had the chance.


  13. My boyfriend left me 8 months ago I have got in contact with him again asking if we could possible be friends and I have had no reply bk? What should I do? I’m not looking to get back together with him but I do miss our friendship, he was my best friend for two years.

  14. Oh yeah,my crush is now lying about me so I’m not happy. I feel empty and hurt since I put a lot of myself into him. Now It’s over and I feel freer but it’s awkward so…

  15. I really need an advise here please; fell in love with a neighbor who is a single parent; at first it seemed like we were the best couple ever; and I love her dearly I still do… Few weeks ago things started to heat up; though we seem to settle every other day; she actually told me days ago to give her some time and space cos she needs to spend time with her kids and all… I understood that and after then she came up with another saying she actually stayed away from me cos she felt I was talking with her younger sister which I wasn’t; but it seems her sister likes me a lot and have told her this already… After sorting that out; we were close for just about a day… And the next day after several chats and misunderstanding she breaks up with me; I didn’t wanna let go… So I called her later to have a conversation; took her sometime to respond but she did and I apologized tried to make her understand that I’m not a burden to her or whatever she thinks from her past relationship since she’s got trust issues. I sincerely love to so much and I make her know this by reminding her of all our future plans of being together as great couples. She had a teary eye but still she tried to ignore everything I’ve said and kept saying she needs to get some sleep. I tried to hold her hands and hug her but she wldnt let me. She left my place to hers and I realized she wasn’t even getting some sleep but having chats; joking about stuffs with another neighbor whose friends with us and her own kids too. I love her too much AND I want her back. Any advise please….

  16. Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 years he broke up with me 11 days ago. He said he does not love me anymore and has been miserable with me for 3 years. he used to be madly in love with me he even turned obsessive and made me stop talking to all my friends and he also stopped talking to his so i do the same, so for a while i didn’t listen to him and we used to get into a fights. then he allowed me to talk to my girl friends but none of the guys but sometimes i used to behind his back and he caught me out a few times and had a massive fit and argument with me so i completely stopped talking to them. but now he is saying i treated him badly but i always used to say we shouldnt need to stop talking to our friends but he used to say it should just be us no one else. we got on so well i love him so much and he used to love me too, he started working and going gym almost everyday and he always used to call me at least 10 times a day he also made me stay on skype to him as soon as he got home from gym till he left home for work the next day, this happened every day for 2 years and of course like any normal person i got fed up and used to say why do we have to skype every day and call me 10 times a day and message me every 5 mins and expect me to message back within 5 mins. apparently me saying all of this and getting annoyed made him stop loving me he was with me 3 years and said he hasnt loved me for at least a year i just dont understand. i am trying to tell him with a little bit of space and us hanging out with our friends again could make things between us less stressful but he just doesnt want me at all now. and this is the same guy who was obsessive and told me he wanted to grow old with me i dont know what to do

  17. Hey
    My Girlfriend broke up with me, we have be in serious relationship for 1 year 7 months, some months back she told me she was not feeling the love she had for me and she needed time to figure it out and i agreed to that tow days later i manipulated by using a female facebook to chat to my self so she can be jealous because she had my facebook password which actually work, she was jealous and told me how much she love me.
    sometime last week i notice she was now hanging out with this guy because the guy like her and want to date her, i called it to her attention by telling how what i found the she told me it true and for the past 5 to 6 months she still has not feel the love because of distance and she wanted to break up after some arguments she said we should give it another try to see if we can work things out, two days later i made a mistake be going to find out what was going on between her and the other guy, i used the same facebook i used in manipulating my Girlfriend to chat with the guy to find out what is going on, and this guy told me girlfriend what i was doing, and she called me to tell her the truth, i had to tell her everything and also told her it was the same facebook i used to manipulate her and that i am sorry, and she cried and ask for break up that she cant continue with this anymore, i was so heartbroken that i try to make her change her mind to forgive and forget but she already made up her mind, and now we agreed that we can be friends and start up to know each other again and i will have to make her to forgive me by being friends with her and trying to prove that i am the one she want, but now i have competitors because she now likes the other guy and might decide to go with the guy. even after our break up she called me on Skype few hours later at 5am and told me she don’t know why she cant sleep and asked me if i was okay.. please i need your help on how to go about this because i love her so much that i will want her back in my life and for her to love me again.

  18. Me and my ex was in a relationship for 3 years and it came to a hault, she started meeting people and within a month and a half started talking to someone, I found out a months she’s slept with him many times and always with him, she says it’s got nothing to do with him, it’s the relationship always arguing but I re evaluated the situation and know what went wrong, told her I know how to fix it but now said its that she doesn’t want me anymore, I really need help because she’s the love of my life and I need her

  19. Hi , my name is Teyona
    I’ve been dealing with this boy for 3 years our first two months were perfect then this year comes we became distant from each other , he tells me it’s a lot going on and he needs space but it’s hard to just accept that that’s just it I feel like it’s another girl or something , he stays that I always accuse him of things he’s not doing , I love him more then anything but now he doesn’t talk to me , doesn’t answer my phone calls, can you please help me

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