In recent years, we've seen a huge rise in dating apps. It's now considered the norm to find a date through an app on your phone, rather than actually going out and meeting someone in person. Sure, using dating apps is convenient, but are dating apps ruining the dating scene? We spend so much time swiping left and right through potential partners. We agonize over the perfect thing to put in our own dating profiles or which pictures we choose to represent ourselves. Isn't this ruining the authenticity of meeting someone in person? Does anyone long for the days of meeting someone traditionally and getting to know them by going out on actual dates? …or is this just me? Well, if it is just me, I am officially here to plead my case. I've put together three reasons that dating apps are ruining the way we date.
1. It's All About Hook-Up's
Dating apps seem to be less about actual dating and more about hooking up. For instance, does anyone on Tinder actually end up in a relationship? When we're swiping left and right, we aren't even looking for someone we want to get to know and establish a relationship with. We're looking for someone we think is hot and who we'd like to hook up with. Most Tinder matches result in a one-time, maybe two-time hook-up and nothing more. Back in the old days (I'm exaggerating, I know), we would actually get to know someone in person with the intentions of a relationship. We didn't swipe through selfies looking for someone to spend a night or two with.
2. It's Making Us Lazy
Like we've already said, dating apps are convenient. We can browse potential partners from the comfort of our own homes. We have our first conversation with someone while we're lounging on the sofa. This seems like a great thing, but is it really? Is this way of dating making us lazy when it comes to romance? I don't know about you, but part of what interests me in a potential suitor is how much effort they put in. Wooing me through a phone app seems like the bare minimum where effort is concerned.
3. It's Destroying Authenticity
We've all seen the show Catfish. Some of us have probably even been Catfished. Some of us may even be Catfish! For those of you unfamiliar with the term: First of all, where have you been? Second of all, a “Catfish” is a person who pretends to be someone they're not on the internet. Dating apps and online dating have made “catfishing” a common occurrence. If you're not meeting someone in person, how do you know who they really are? The pictures they put up may not be actual pictures of them. This in-authenticity doesn't necessarily have to be catfishing. It could just be that you present a different version of yourself through an app than you would in person, which doesn't give someone the chance to see the real you. When using dating apps, people often try to make themselves seem better or more desirable than they really are. This makes it hard to see who someone truly is. When we date someone that we've actually spent physical time with, we have a better idea of what they're really like. Meeting someone in person gives them less of an opportunity to present a carefully constructed image of themselves.
Now, don't toss your phone aside just yet. I fully understand the appeal of dating apps and why so many people use them. It's totally, absolutely okay if you do! However, if you're looking for a more authentic connection, you might want to reconsider an “ancient” form of courtship like meeting potential partners in person.